


Resistance

by Dressed_In_Darkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Eren Yeager, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Consensual Sex, Dominant Eren Yeager, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Character Death, Omega Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), POV First Person, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Resolved Sexual Tension, Rough Sex, Scent Marking, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Top Eren Yeager, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 127,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_In_Darkness/pseuds/Dressed_In_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman, one of the few remaining omegas, has fought against his instincts all his life. But the powerful alpha that is brought into the sanctuary he lives in will prove to be far too tempting to resist. Even still, Levi will try, because he refuses to belong to anyone, let alone an alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I writing yet another ereri fic while I'm still working on another one? I'll tell you why, because ereri has taken over my life. I swear I think up way too many stories for this couple and I can't resist. They're my inspiration to keep on writing, so here I am. Also, I don't know how often I'll update. I mean, I won't go months upon months without updating. That would drive me mad, but it may be inconsistent. Like I may update once a week, or once every two weeks. We'll see (bear with me). 
> 
> A side note: There will be no non-con in this fic. Everything will be consensual.
> 
> Another side note: I still suck at summaries. R.I.P.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://dressed-in-darkness.tumblr.com/) <3

The fact that I could smell him behind three steel doors assured me of what Hanji had said earlier that morning. We weren’t dealing with a normal alpha. This one was lethal. And out of all the people they could have sent to come talk to him, they chose me, one of the few remaining omegas. They were either crazy, or confident that the serum running through my veins would hold even in the presence of an alpha of this magnitude. Already I could feel some primal instinct within me responding to his scent, submitting to it, but I beat that part of me down and signaled to Mike to open the doors.

            “Are you sure, Levi?” he asked.

            “No, but what other choice do I have.”

            After a brief moment of hesitation, he flipped the switch, and the first door began to rise. It only took seconds for the aroma permeating the air to become potent. The omega inside me writhed in submission, eager to please the alpha creating that delicious scent that promised me hours of pleasure, but I fought back my instincts as best I could. I refused to crawl into this alpha’s confinement chamber on my hands and knees, begging to be mated. I never submitted to anyone, alpha or otherwise, and I wasn’t about to start now. If Hanji trusted that the suppressants she created would see me through this, then I would trust in them too. They had never failed me before.

            When all three doors were raised, I stood outside the entrance with my hands clenched by my sides. I couldn’t move. If I did, I had no doubt that I would sink to my knees and let this alpha take me. His scent was everywhere at once, invading all my senses, and fuck did it feel good.

            “Levi?” Mike questioned in concern, no doubt smelling my arousal. “Say the word and I’ll shut the doors.”

            I lifted my hand to keep him from doing that. “No, I’m fine. Just give me a minute.” I took a deep breath and exhaled on a moan. Despite the way my body responded to this elite alpha’s scent, I wasn’t going into heat. The suppressants were doing their job. All that was left to do was resist my instincts, which I would do no matter what, because I belonged to no one.

            With that thought in mind, I found my bearings and walked into the brick corridor. I followed it down to the doorway of the chamber, then I jerked to a stop. They had the alpha chained in the middle of the room in nothing but a pair of trousers. Yet even down on his knees, his arms outstretched to either side of him and held in place by shackles, he was still a powerful, menacing presence. My body shook with it as the omega inside of me recognized the threat. My instincts screamed out and I began to whimper, showing submission in the most basic form.

            His head snapped up at the sound, phthalo green eyes locking onto mine. “Omega,” he growled, tilting his head back to sniff the air. He groaned deep in his throat and began rocking his hips in search of friction. “It’s been so long since I’ve smelt an omega. Is that the reason I’ve been brought here? To mate with you?”

            For a long moment, I couldn’t find my voice to answer him. Beads of sweat had formed on his sculpted chest, and I followed them with my eyes as they ran down tan, touchable skin. There were faint scars on his abdomen from wounds that had healed years ago, but they would’ve hurt like hell when he got them. This alpha had seen his fair share of battles, and that brought me back to why we had brought him here to begin with.

            “I’d never mate with you,” I bit out through gritted teeth, hoping against all odds that he wouldn’t hear the arousal in my voice. He sniffed the air again. “I know what you smell, but that doesn’t mean anything. I will never mate with you, or any other alpha.”

            “Then why have I been brought here?” He tugged on the shackles holding him in place and the chains rattled in protest.

            I didn’t dare get any closer to him, so I leaned up against the brick wall, feigning indifference. “I’m sure you’re aware that our kind is going extinct. Many alphas made the mistake of mating with humans, and in doing so, they created halflings. Those halflings went on to follow in their parent’s footsteps, thus our race began to dwindle down. Now our kind is hunted and killed like animals. This place you’re at is a sanctuary. We can keep you safe.”

            “I don’t need protection!” His outburst caused me to whimper once again. I hated how I cowered before this alpha.

            “That may be so,” I began when I recovered, “but you’re reaching the age where your body is in need of a mate. If you keep going through ruts without assuaging the lust, your body will weaken. The people who hunt our kind will take advantage of your weakened state. There’s no doubt about that. They’ve been searching for you for quite a long time.”

            He lowered his hips to the cement slab beneath him and kept his eyes on me as he started grinding his erection against it. He was in the midst of a rut, so his behavior didn’t surprise me. What surprised me was how much my body responded to seeing him lose control of himself. When his trousers rode down on his waist, exposing the tip of his member, I wanted to take it into my mouth and taste the pre-come that glistened under the dim lighting. I wanted it so bad that it took everything in me to stay in the spot I was in.

            Fuck. He smelt delicious.

            “If I stay here, you’ll provide me with an omega?” he asked in a gruff voice. “Is that what you’re offering?”

            I licked my lip, my eyes still on the bulge in his pants. “No. There are only three omegas here, myself included, and they’ve been marked by their mate.”     

            “You haven’t been marked. Your neck is unblemished.”

            “I already told you that I won’t mate with any alpha.”

            “Then tell me why I’m here, because I am in no need of protection. I can take care of myself.”

            The pheromones he was releasing were far too tempting for me to keep a clear head for much longer. I’d been around many alphas throughout my life, but none of them affected me the way this one did. Even with my system full of high quality suppressants, I could feel my body wanting to go into heat. I wanted to be spread out beneath this alpha, and that frightened me more than anything. Maybe it would be best for him to go back out into the world on his own. If he stayed here in the sanctuary, I would end up giving in to this desire. I was certain of that.

            Releasing a shaky breath, I said, “There is a scientist here by the name of Hanji Zoe, she’s created a serum that will trick your body into believing you’ve mated with an omega. Your rut will end and you’ll no longer be in danger of weakening. I, as well as many others, can vouch for this.”

            “And what is expected of me in return for receiving this miraculous serum?” His eyebrows pulled together as the movement of his hips became erratic and he yanked on the chains again. Right before my eyes, a crack formed in the brick wall behind him. What kind of strength did this alpha possess? “This isn’t enough. Not when you’re right here in front of me. Shit. You smell so good. I want to taste you.”

            I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from moaning. “The serum will—”

            “Why was this serum even created?” he demanded, interrupting me.

            “As I’m sure you know, omegas were the first among our kind to be hunted out. Due to our genetic makeup, we made easy targets in comparison to alphas and betas. When we’re in heat, we’re rendered useless, and that’s when they attacked us. And with omegas low in numbers, alphas could no longer mate, therefore they were weakened and taken down with ease by our enemies. Hanji created the serum so alphas wouldn’t suffer the consequences of being without a mate. It has helped our kind substantially.”

            “Does this serum work on omegas, as well?”

            “No,” I said.

            “Then why have you been injected with it? Everything in your body is telling you to go into heat, yet you haven’t. Normal suppressants wouldn’t be able to prevent that from happening. Especially when confronted with an alpha in rut. It goes against our nature.”

            I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m a special case. I requested a unique serum to be made specifically for omegas, because I don’t wish to be mated.”

            “Why?”

            “That doesn’t concern you.”

            He smiled in an impish way and I realized just how gorgeous he was. “You haven’t answered my question. What is expected of me in return for taking shelter here?”

            “Nothing you probably haven’t already guessed. You lend us your strength. Devote your heart to the cause of keeping this sanctuary safe from harm. That shouldn’t be too hard for you. From what I’ve heard, you’ve taken down plenty of humans fighting against our kind, even when you were outnumbered.”

            “Do I get to stay by you?” he asked, ignoring everything else I’d told him.

            Now I smiled. Oh yes, this alpha was dangerous in more ways than one. If I wasn’t careful, he would snatch me right up. “I live here, so you’ll see me around, but you won’t have any hopes of getting near me.”

            “We’ll see about that. I can be very persuasive when I want something badly enough. And trust me when I say that I want you quite badly.”

            “I’m not easily swayed,” I said in a rush, “but can I take that as a yes to our offer?”

            “As long as I get to stay by you, then yes.”

            I turned my back to him, needing to get out of here now that I received an answer. “I’ll go get Hanji. She’ll inject you with the serum right away. It’ll take about fifteen minutes for it to take effect, but after that the symptoms of rut should subside. Then you’ll be back on your feet.”

            “Wait,” he said. I glanced at him over my shoulder. “What’s your name?”

            “Levi.”

            “Levi,” he repeated in a deep, irresistible voice. “I’ll make you mine.”

            I smiled. “Not a chance…”

            “Eren. My name’s Eren.”

            “Not a chance, Eren. Now sit tight. I’ll be back with Hanji in a minute.”

            I walked out of the confinement chamber and kept going until I was out of his line of sight. Only then did I allow my legs to give out from beneath me. I fell to the ground in a heap of dead weight, shaking violently. My body ached in an unfamiliar way and I was producing slick. I could smell it, but why was my body readying itself for mating when I wasn’t in heat? This wasn’t normal. Were my hormones overriding the suppressants? If that were the case, then I really would have to stay away from Eren.

            Far away.

            “Levi!” Hanji called as she came running up to me. I curled in on myself and groaned. “I knew it. You’re going into heat. I could smell you from outside. Mike! Bring me my briefcase!”

            I tried to look up at her as she knelt down next to me, but my vision was going in and out of focus. She was nothing but a blurry spot of color. “How is that even possible? I was injected two days ago. This shouldn’t be happening.”

            “You have no idea how powerful this alpha is,” she said, sounding excited. “He could’ve broken those chains with ease, but he didn’t. He kept himself under control. Even the smell of an omega couldn’t make him lose himself. He’s destined for great things, that one.”

            “You mean that was a test?” I snapped. “You put me at risk in order to see whether or not he would lose control?”

            “Of course not, silly. There are cameras installed in there. We were watching everything. If he would’ve showed the slightest sign of becoming unstable, we would’ve gassed him without question. I will admit that I wasn’t expecting you to go into heat, though. Oh, but it’s wonderful!”

            Mike reached us then and handed Hanji her metal briefcase without comment. I watched as she popped it open beside her, revealing rows of medical vials that were filled with blue liquid that glowed in the dark corridor. Before grabbing a needle, she snapped on a pair of latex gloves. I’d been through this process enough times to know what she was doing, but I couldn’t believe that I was in need of another dose this soon. The serum she made for me was one of the strongest suppressants created. How did my hormones override it? It was supposed to mimic mating, to trick my body into believing it’d been sated, yet here I lay, in desperate need of an alpha I didn’t know.

            “How the fuck is this wonderful?” I said as my body shook. “This _hurts._ ”

            She flicked the syringe she held to expel any air bubbles at the top. “It’s wonderful because you want him. Your body wouldn’t have responded so strongly otherwise. Leave it to you to want one of the most powerful alphas we’ve come across. Swab his arm for me, will you Mike?”

            “I don’t want him,” I snarled.

            Hanji and Mike exchanged a look. They were smelling me, the pheromones that gave away my evident arousal. Oh, I wanted him all right. That much was obvious. But would I give into him? Never. I’d made myself a promise long ago, to never allow myself to be ruled by what I was, and some sinful brunette wasn’t going to change that.

            After Mike swabbed a spot on my inner elbow, Hanji slid the needle in and dispensed the serum directly into a vein. It fought the omega within me, quelling the heat. I sighed in relief as my body cooled down.

            “I’ll have to up your dosage from here on out,” Hanji said, discarding the used needle. “That is, unless you want that alpha to fuck you into next week.”

            I glared at her. “He won’t be fucking me. Ever.”

            “Whatever you say, munchkin.” She closed her briefcase and then stood up. After giving the air an experimental sniff, she bellowed, “Whoo! Do you smell that? That alpha will bring all the omegas to the yard.”

            I chose to ignore her. Right now I needed to get as far away from Eren as possible, so I attempted to stand up on legs that refused to stop shaking. I swayed on my feet once I was upright, and muttered a string of curses as I sidestepped several times before I found my grounding. My limbs were weak and unresponsive, the aftermath of having been in heat. I hated it more than I could possibly ever explain, hated what I was and what it did to me. All my life I’d been resisting my instincts, fighting everything that made me an omega, and now I would be forced to fight twice as hard.

            Damn Eren to hell. Why did he have this effect on me?

            “You okay?” Mike asked when I leaned up against the brick wall to keep myself from falling over.

            I looked up at him. “I’m fine.”

            “Help him to his room,” Hanji said. “I need to go inject Eren. After smelling Levi, he’s probably in a heap of pain.”

            Mike grabbed her wrist, keeping her in place. “You shouldn’t go alone.”

            She shook him off with an enormous smile on her face. “I’ll be fine. I’m a beta. Plus, it’s not me he wants.” She waggled her fingers at me. “He wants you, very much.”

            “Take me to my room,” I ordered Mike. He picked me up like I weighed nothing and carried me in the opposite direction of the confinement chamber. Eren’s scent became weaker the farther we got from him. I relaxed, relieved, but it was short lived, because I knew that this was just a temporary respite. Eren would be staying here in the sanctuary from here on out, so I was going to have to avoid him at all costs. Otherwise I was sure that I would go into heat again, and that’s the last thing I wanted or needed.

            I didn’t speak to Mike as he climbed the steps up to the main living area, or when he made his way down various empty corridors. I didn’t know what to say, and silence was better than small talk. At least to me it was.

            “You should rest,” Mike told me when he reached my room. “Let your body recover from the shock it went through.”      

            “I will.” Grabbing the badge that hung from a lanyard around my neck, I leaned to the side to scan the barcode and punch in a four-digit code into the access control machine that was mounted by my front door. The red light shut off and the green light flicked on, the door unlocking. “You can put me down now. I’m fine.”

            Mike knew better than to question me, so he set me on my feet. “I’ll send someone over to check on you in a couple of hours. Sound all right to you?”

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            He shifted from foot to foot, looking unsure of what he was about to do. Then he sighed and said, “You know I’m not one to meddle in anyone’s affairs, but if you are attracted to this new alpha, then why are you still resisting? It would be better for you if you mated. The suppressants you’re on are slowly destroying your body. It’s unnatural for an omega to go unmated for so long.”

            I pushed open my front door and stepped inside. He wasn’t saying anything that I hadn’t already heard. “My reasons are my own.”

            “How did I know that you were going to say that?” He sighed again and turned his back to me. “Fine. I said my piece. If you need anything, be sure to page me. I’ll come right away.”

            “Thank you,” I said. I waited until he was down the hall to shut my door. Then I pressed my back against it and shut my eyes.

            Of course it would be easier for me to mate and give into the instincts I was born with, but then I would belong to an alpha and I would never let that happen. I would rather deal with the drawbacks of taking strong suppressants, even when those drawbacks included permanent damage to my body. That wasn’t new information. Hanji had told me that from the beginning, and the reason I accepted it was because there was no point in living a long life in a world going to shit for my kind. If I stepped out of this sanctuary without protection, I would be hunted down and killed like an animal. That’s what I was to humans, an animal, no more, no less.

            Suppressing a groan of pain, I walked to my bed at a slow pace. It had been a long time since I’d dealt with the aches that came from going into heat. My body wasn’t used to it anymore.

            I was almost to my bed when the phone on my nightstand rang. I glared at it as I picked it up and cradled it between my cheek and shoulder. “Hello?”

            “Do you have a minute to talk, Levi?” Erwin’s voice. Of all the people that could’ve been on the other line, it had to be him.

            “Considering you’re my boss, then sure, I have a minute to talk.”

            There was no humor in his voice when he spoke again. “Dr. Zoe informed me that you were able to persuade Eren into staying with us here at the sanctuary. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. We’re in desperate need of alphas with his strength. His assistance will do us a lot of good. I’m sure you know that. Things have been rough lately.”

            “If you called to thank me, save it.”

            “Well, that was one of the reasons I called, but the main reason is because he’s going to need a tour of the grounds tomorrow morning and I am appointing you as his guide.”

            “Erwin—”

            “Also,” he continued without pause, “he needs hand to hand combat training. I’m appointing you to that, as well. Along with some sniper training. You’re the best of the best, Levi. I’m sure he’ll excel under your guidance.”

            I clenched my teeth. Erwin wasn’t going to let me out of this, which meant my plan to stay away from Eren would never be put into motion. How the hell could I confront him again after what happened today?

            “I heard about your reaction to him,” Erwin said after I stayed silent for a long while. “Dr. Zoe assured me that that wouldn’t occur again. I approved of her wanting to up your serum dosage. Eren will also receive a high quantity, so you have no need to worry about going into heat the next time you’re around him.”

            “Of course. No need to worry.”

            “If a problem should arise, you know where to reach me. I expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning at six a.m. sharp.” He hung up without another word.

            I slammed the phone down on the nightstand and squeezed my eyes shut. How could Erwin put me in this position when there was a possibility that I could go into heat the moment I smelled Eren? If that happened, I would be injected with a considerable amount of serum two days in a row. My body wouldn’t be able to handle that much suppressants at once, which meant that Hanji would most likely let me ride out the heat until it subsided on its own. The pain would be enormous, unthinkable. My body would crave the only alpha it ever craved, and since he would be in close proximity, denying my instincts would hurt even more.

            I had to find a way to get out of this.

            I had to find a way to never see Eren again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented on the first chapter of this fic. It is much appreciated. <3

That night I couldn’t fall asleep, my body a foreign mass of aches and pains that kept me up until dawn seeped into my room in deep shades of orange. I would have to face that alpha again today. Would have to see him, smell him, _taste_ his scent on the tip of my tongue. No matter how much I wanted to keep that from happening, I knew Erwin wouldn’t allow it. I was the sole reason Eren decided to stay here at Sanctuary Recon and Erwin would use that to his advantage, would dangle me in front of that alpha like a tasty treat so he could get what he wanted out of him. And I would be forced into the middle of it all, an unwilling participant in the oldest game of cat and mouse.

            I kicked off the blankets and cursed at the heavy weight of my limbs. Something was wrong. These weren’t the normal discomforts that came after having gone into heat. My muscles throbbed with an unbearable itch that burned just beneath the surface of my skin. I wanted to squirm until it subsided, but I knew the sensation wouldn’t go away on its own. Only one person could rid me of it and the knowledge made me ache all the more.

            Why couldn’t I stop thinking about Eren? Was this another way that my instincts were working against me? Was my body so desperate to be mated that it shoved thoughts of that alpha down my throat? Fuck, the very thought of touching him turned me on. It scared me how much I wanted it, _needed_ it. How was I supposed to resist him when I would do anything for a little taste?

            When a knock came at my door a few minutes later, I was so grateful for the distraction that I lunged out of bed, ignoring the weak state my body was in. The relief I felt died away when I threw the door open to reveal Erwin standing in the corridor in his old military uniform. There was only one reason he would be here at this hour, and that was to make sure that I wouldn’t skip out on my duties. Although it didn’t surprise me any, it did piss me off. He didn’t know me well enough if he thought that I was going to succumb to my instincts. It didn’t matter how much pain it would put me in to be around Eren, to smell the arousal on his skin, I wouldn’t give in. I had plenty of reason not to.

            Leaning up against the doorframe, I said, “I have an hour before I have to be down at the dining hall. To what do I owe this displeasure?”

            “Is that any way to address your commanding officer?” He raised one of his thick, irritating eyebrows and I scowled at him.

            “If you didn’t get the memo, hot shot, this isn’t the military. This a prison for our kind. So, yes, that’s the way I’m addressing you, because I know why you’re here.”

            “This isn’t a prison, Levi. It’s a sanctuary, a place that’s been built for our kind to remain safe from the humans who would like to see us all dead, and the reason I’m here is to escort you down to the cafeteria, for your own safety. The smell of heat lingers on you. There may not be a lot of alphas here, but the ones who are would be tempted by your scent, even when they’ve been injected with serum three days ago. Instincts die hard.”

            I folded my arms. “Yet you’re planning to thrust me at Eren, an alpha that exudes strength and restless energy.”

            “As I told you yesterday on the phone, Hanji assured me that he had been injected with twice the amount of serum than any other alpha taking up residence here. I saw him this morning, to check to see if he was safe to be around, and he seemed calm and collected. He even asked me to apologize to you for his behavior yesterday. Give him a chance, Levi. He was in rut yesterday. Of course he was bound to act a little…animalistic.”

            A shiver worked its way down my spine as the thought of Eren being animalistic alighted my skin in a slow, raging heat that threatened to consume me where I stood. I took a deep breath, smelling the scent of arousal— _my_ scent—in the air. Shit. I needed to get a hold of myself. What the fuck was wrong with me?

            “Even in rut, he wasn’t as out of control as other alphas I’ve seen,” I said in a raspy voice.

            “See?” Erwin grinned, choosing to ignore the scent of desire rolling off of me. “You have nothing to worry about.”

            That was a bunch of bullshit and he knew it. This particular alpha was different than any other I’d met. It didn’t make any sense. There had been other alphas before Eren that I found appealing, but their scent, even in rut, had no effect on me since Hanji first injected me with the omega serum she created. So why was Eren able to pull this type of reaction from me without even trying? What did he have that the others didn’t?

            I sighed. It was pointless to overthink it. “Let me get ready. I’ll be back out when I’m done.”

            Erwin nodded once.

            I closed the door and slid my fingers beneath the silver ball chain necklace I wore at all times. I pulled out the oval-shaped locket that hung at the bottom, flipping it open to run my thumb over the picture of my mother. My heart clenched in my chest.

            “I will keep the promise I made to you,” I whispered. “I will not let this alpha get the best of me.”

 

\---

 

The dining hall was crowded this morning, everyone gathered around a table near the buffet. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who they were surrounding. Eren was the only new person here at the sanctuary. Even when I couldn’t make him out past the group huddled around his seat, I could smell him, a rich, heady scent that stood out above the rest. It took me aback, and I bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. That’s when I decided that I wasn’t ready to face him yet, so I took advantage of the empty buffet and went to serve myself breakfast. I had just sat down at a table of my own when I looked up and saw Eren pushing his way passed people to get to where I sat.

            _Fuck._

I pretended to be immersed in my meal, not even acknowledging his presence when he stopped in front of the table. I poked at a sliced strawberry on my plate with the fork I held in a near death grip, watching him clench and unclench his hands by his sides. His behavior threw me off. Most alphas would’ve sat down by now, thinking they were in the right to do so, but he just stood there, waiting. Why?

            I looked up at him to see that he wore a calm, serious expression, though his jaw was strained tight. It dawned on me then that he was holding himself back. It surprised me that he was even capable of doing that.

            “May I sit down?” he asked, voice pleasantly deep and strong.

            “You don’t even have food, dumbass.”

            He glanced down at his empty hands like he was trying to understand what I meant, and then he turned around without saying another word. I thought he was heading back to the table he was sitting at before, but he scurried over to the buffet and dumped a handful of pancakes onto a plate. Amused, I watched as he drenched the stack of four in syrup before rushing back to my table, almost knocking someone over in the process. He set his plate down like it was an offering, but still didn’t sit. Was he waiting for me to give him permission? What kind of alpha was this?

            “Sit down before you have a brain aneurism,” I said, hiding a smile behind my hand.

            Pulling out the chair opposite mine, he did as I told him. I expected him to start speaking right away, but he remained quiet.

            “Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?” I asked, irritated. “Why did you come over here?”

            “I want to be around you.”

            Ignoring the way my heart fluttered at that small confession of his, I pointed my fork at him. “Let’s get one thing straight here, I’m never going to be your omega. Or did you forget what I told you?”

            “I haven’t forgotten,” he said, “but I’d like to be near you, if that isn’t too hard for you, that is. Your friend Hanji told me that my scent caused you to go into heat yesterday. I’m sorry about that.”

            Was this really the same guy who was grinding himself against the cement slab yesterday? The guy who almost broke a brick wall with his arms alone? I wasn’t expecting him to be polite, most alphas weren’t, but here he was being a gentleman.

            God, it turned me on.

            I shrugged, hating my reaction. “It wasn’t your fault. You were in rut. Plus,” I added in a serious tone, “it won’t happen again.”

            “I know that. Hanji took extra precautions with me. I even allowed her to damage the scent gland on my neck, that way my scent won’t be so overpowering.”

            The fork I held clattered against the plate when it slipped out of my grasp. “What the fuck? Are you insane?” Without realizing what I was doing, I leaned over the table and jerked his head to the side. Sure enough, there was an angry red slash against his gland. “Do you know how long that will take to heal, even with the freakish self-healing every alpha has? I can’t believe you let her do that to you.”

            “It’s no big deal. I heal faster than most. And I don’t mind, if it allows me to be this close to you without causing you pain.”

            “No big deal?” I hissed. This guy was out of his mind. Our glands were sensitive. Cutting it would have been extremely painful, yet he had endured it to be around me?

            _I’ll make you mine._

The words he had spoken to me in the confinement chamber resurfaced to the forefront of my mind and I snatched my hand back. That’s why he had taken the time to cultivate this polite façade. This was his way of trying to get close to me. Every alpha was the same, eager to mate an omega, to own them _,_ and this one was no different. He was merely approaching it in a different manner, and I’d almost fallen for it. It made me angry to think how far he was willing to go in order to get me to be his. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was the only unmated omega here.  

            I sat back down in my seat, picked up my fork, and stabbed it into a piece of green melon. “You’re an idiot.”

            “Are you all right?” Eren asked, eyebrows drawing together in concern. “The smell coming off of you… You’re angry. Did I do something wrong?”

            I scoffed. The audacity. “I know it’s your instincts to try and coddle an omega when they’re upset, but I’m not your responsibility. I never will be. Now hurry up and finish your food. I want to get this tour over with.”

            He picked up his fork, but didn’t eat. “I’m sorry that I upset you. I didn’t mean to.”

            “It doesn’t matter,” I said.

            “It matters to me.”

            “Why? Because I’m an omega?”

            He shook his head, looking glum, but gave no further explanation. We ate in silence after that, even when I wasn’t the least bit hungry. My head was pounding from a migraine that no doubt resulted from getting no sleep last night. I wanted to go up to my room, forget about the alpha sitting across from me, and nap until this day was over. But what relief would that bring me? He would still be here when I woke up, and being around him made me hurt. Even when the gland in his neck was damaged, his scent was still powerful. It evoked so many emotions, but it also comforted me. An intoxicating combination that had me leaning forward unconsciously.

            “Are you finished?” Eren asked.

            I blinked, sleepy. “Hmm?”

            “Are you finished with your food?” He gestured to my plate and I nodded. He reached for it, but his eyes remained on my face. “Did you not sleep well? There are dark circles under your eyes.”

            “I didn’t sleep at all,” I admitted. “That’s your fault.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “If you apologize to me one more time, I’m going to deck you.”

            Grabbing our plates, he stood up and smiled for the first time today. It brightened his features, making him that much more attractive. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

            After he left to take our dirty plates to the industrial kitchen, I saw Hanji snaking her way through the tables to get to mine. I stared at her, knowing why she was coming over here to talk to me. She was going to interrogate me about how I reacted to Eren today, but I wasn’t going to answer any of her questions. Not until she answered mine.

            “Hey, short stuff,” she said as she sat in the same seat Eren had been in earlier.

            I narrowed my eyes at her, some alien emotion making me feral. “Why the _fuck_ would you cut his scent gland? Do you even realize how painful that is?”

            “Whoa, calm down. I had his permission.”

            “Calm down?” I slammed my fist on the table. “If you caused permanent damage, I will—” I clamped my teeth together, cutting myself off. What was I saying? Why did I care if there was permanent damage done to his scent gland?

            _You can’t mark him for your own, if there is…_

I shook my head, hoping the thought would vanish.

            “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Hanji said with a smile. “I did it in such a way that there will be no damage to it once it heals. Judging by your behavior, I’m guessing that you’re glad about that.”

            “I don’t care either way.”

            Her smile widened. “Sure. That’s why you were about to bite my head off. Don’t worry. In one week, you’ll be able to mark that alpha, if you want.” 

            The thought of sinking my teeth into the juncture between the shoulder and neck excited me in a way it hadn’t before. All it would take was one bite to make Eren mine, to claim him as my own. It would bond us together for the rest of our lives. No other omega would appeal to him ever again. I would be the only one that could satisfy his needs from that moment on.

            Why did I want that? I didn’t even know him. This was why I hated being what I was. Our kind did everything based on instincts.

            “Just shut up and tell me why you came over here,” I snarled, beyond pissed that I couldn’t control my thoughts.

            The smile stayed in place as she dug something out of the front pocket of her lab coat. She set down a small spray bottle on the table. The clear liquid inside sloshed around. “I wasn’t able to test this baby out before, because the serum was doing its job, but after what happened yesterday, I finally have use for it. It’s a concoction I created to repel alphas. All you have to do is spray a small amount on your neck. It stinks like a mother, so if you’re going to use it, I suggest you be prepared to smell like a skunk for up to twenty-four hours. It’s that bad.”

            I picked up the bottle. “Is it effective?”

            “Oh yeah. Alphas find the smell repulsive. Trust me.”

            “I don’t think I’ll need to use it today,” I said, wanting to avoid smelling like a skunk. “Eren hasn’t been acting aggressive.”

            “Suit yourself. But if he tries anything, spray that anywhere on his skin. It’ll burn on contact. Not on an omega, though. So don’t worry about that happening to you.”          

            “You are the definition of an evil scientist.”

            “And don’t I know it!” She stood up. “I have to get back to the medical wing, but don’t be afraid to use that on him if he gets out of hand. I doubt he will. He has astounding self-control.”

            “Let’s hope you’re right,” I told her. She gave me a reassuring smile before she left.

            When Eren came back, his eyes drifted down to the bottle I held. His nose wrinkled in distaste, but he didn’t ask what it was. Lifting his eyes to mine, he said, “Erwin told me that I’ll need to fill out paperwork that I can access on the main computer in the library. I can either do it before or after the tour. It’s up to you.”

            “Let’s do it now. There aren’t a lot of forms to fill out, so it shouldn’t take you that long.” I pushed back in my seat and stuffed the bottle into my pocket. Then I led him out of the dining hall and down a long corridor, happy to be away from the many prying eyes. As we walked, none of us spoke, which bothered me more than it should. Normally I was fond of silence, preferring to stay quiet than prattle on about unimportant things, but right now I wanted to know what was on his mind. So, for the first time ever, I started up small talk. “How do you like this place so far?”

            Eren looked at me. “It’s okay, but there are a lot of rules that I don’t agree with.”

            “Such as?”

            “Such as being unable to leave the premises without permission.”

            “Why would you want to leave?” I asked.

            He smiled a bitter smile. “I don’t like being restrained.”

            “Most people don’t seem to mind it, as long as they’re given the comforts of home and are guaranteed safety.”

            “I’m not most people,” he said. “What about you? Are you okay with staying in the sanctuary day after day? It must get pretty tiring.”

            Being confined to this place did get tiring, but I wasn’t about to admit that to him. I wanted to be out there in the world, living a normal life that didn’t require me to be shackled up with my own kind, but it would be pointless to try to survive out there. I was an omega, an outsider. Humans didn’t want me around, because I was abnormal in their eyes, and the sad thing was I couldn’t deny it. My instincts ruled my life, even when I fought them every second of every day. In the end, I couldn’t escape what I was, what I would always be. A freak of nature.

            “I have no choice,” I said.

            Eren stopped and grabbed me by the arm. The feel of his skin on mine sent a shock through me. “I can give you a choice. I can protect you out there.”

            I snatched my arm back. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’ll never mate with an alpha? So stop trying to win me over. It’s annoying.”

            “We wouldn’t have to mate.”

            “Sure,” I sneered. “If you took me away from here, Hanji wouldn’t be able to administer the serum that keeps our nature at bay. Meaning that I would have a normal heat cycle, and you would be lured in by my scent. What would keep you from taking me against my will? Absolutely nothing.”

            Disgust contorted his features into a mask of anger. “I would never do that!”

            “Well, it doesn’t matter, because I’m not leaving here with you.”

            He glared daggers at me, his jaw clenched, and I slipped my hand into my pocket to grab the spray bottle Hanji had given me. We stayed like that for what felt like a small eternity, just staring at one another, and then he turned around and started walking again. I waited a while before I followed after him. Right now it would be good to keep some distance between us. I could smell his mixed emotions in the air, strong and demanding.

            When he reached the end of the corridor, he took a wrong turn and I cursed under my breath. “Wrong way, you ass,” I called.

            That must’ve caused something to snap, because he whirled around on the spot. “You don’t even know me. Stop judging me based on what I am. I haven’t done anything wrong to you.”

            “You’re an alpha. You’re all the same.”

            “Really?” he asked, stepping up to me. I swallowed. “Would another alpha be standing here doing nothing when your scent gland is visible?”

            “Huh?” My hand shot up to my neck, and I was shocked to feel the small rise in my skin. My blood ran cold in my veins. “Shit. Shit! Get away from me!”

            It was the one defense mechanism omegas had against an alpha. Our scent gland only rose to the surface of our skin when we wanted to be marked. When an alpha saw it, his need to mate that omega was immediate. Yet Eren had been walking with me like it was nothing.

            “Calm down,” Eren said, taking several steps back. He was smelling my fear, my terror. “I won’t do anything.”

            “Don’t come any closer. Stay away.”

            “I will, but you know what this means, right?”

            I did. Whenever he was around, whenever I smelled his scent, my scent gland would rise.

            I’d chosen him as my mate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as of right now, my update day seems to be falling on Wednesday. But I'm sure I'll be late a time or two, since I'm working on another fic at the same time. Also, I've been receiving some questions about what an omegaverse is. Since this is my first science fiction fic, some of my previous readers who followed me here have no idea about the alpha/beta/omega dynamics. If you don't, I recommend you read [this](http://myreadingmanga.info/rockndolless-himemiko-love-letter-shingeki-no-kyojin-dj-eng/) doujin by one of my favorite artist's Rock'n'Dolless. She does an amazing job explaining everything. Plus, that doujin is just beautiful.
> 
> Anyway, one more thing, I've been getting a lot of messages about when I'll update. If you'd like to receive an email notification whenever I post a new chapter, you can subscribe to this fic. The button is up top. Other than that, thank you to everyone who has commented and left me kudos. <3

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. I’d heard countless stories about omegas choosing a mate, how their instincts would surge up and tell them _This is the one. This is the one that I want for the rest of my life._ Something in their body would recognize the total submission, and their scent gland would rise to the surface of their skin, leaving them in a vulnerable, accepting state. It would show the alpha of their choice that they had handed over complete control. It was a conscious decision on both sides. So how could this be happening to me? How could I have chosen this alpha without even realizing it? My body was betraying me in the worst possible way.

            Eren took a step toward me, hands raised in a meek gesture, and I fished out the repellent spray from my pocket. I wasn’t going to put my trust in this alpha. It didn’t matter what he saw, what he smelt, this was a mistake.

            “Stay right there,” I warned.

            He stopped, but his body shook with the effort to keep away from me. “You’re scared and in shock. I won’t leave you here unprotected. Let me take you to Hanji.”

            I brought the spray up, my arm shaking. “I already told you that I’m not your responsibility.”

            “But you are.” His eyes shot down to my neck, a look of sheer desperation settling on his face. “You’ve given me the right to take care of you. Please, Levi.”

            “I haven’t given you anything! I haven’t… I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

            “Please,” he pleaded. “I won’t mark you against your will, but I need to take you somewhere safe. If another alpha comes across you, they will react to your scent. Do you think they’ll be able to hold back the way I am?”

            I cupped my neck and whined under my breath as my fingertips slid over the sensitive skin. No other alpha would show the same restraint. We both knew that. They would let their instincts take over the instant they smelled me, uncaring of my feelings towards the situation. Even if I were to hurry to the medical wing in search of Hanji, I was bound to run into an alpha along the way, and once they were aware of my scent gland throbbing just below the surface of my skin, I would have no chance of escaping. I could already feel my body going slack in preparation for the bonding mark to take place. I was weak, defenseless, and it was all Eren’s fault.

            Damn him.

            Leaning back against the wall, I thought over my options. Not that I had many at this point. I would either have to take my chances with Eren, or risk facing an alpha that didn’t possess half the control he did. Fuck. Who was I kidding? It was obvious which I should choose.

            “Spray that on your neck,” Eren suggested in a strained voice when I stayed quiet, gesturing to the bottle I held. “You can even spray it on my face, just…please.”

            “You’re so annoying,” I muttered, but lifted the bottle to my neck. I sprayed a generous amount onto my skin. The pungent, nauseating smell was immediate. Hanji wasn’t kidding when she said this stuff reeked of skunk. “This will burn you if you touch it.”

            “I don’t mind, s-so can I come over there?” He was shifting from foot to foot now, like it took a tremendous amount of effort to remain rooted to the spot he was in. I knew that it did, and a small part of me enjoyed that he was giving me this level of control over him. No other alpha would do that. “Levi?”

            “If you try anything, I will not hesitate to spray this shit down your throat. Do you understand me?”

            “I won’t try anything,” he said right away.

            I had to keep reminding myself that this was the only way to get to Hanji without running into problems, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t dampen the fear that made me want to bolt in the opposite direction. Once I gave him permission to come over here, would he be able to stay in control of himself long enough to get me to the medical wing? What if he attempted to do something? I wasn’t sure that I would be able to defend myself in the current state I was in, and I was all too aware that if he slipped up, even for a second, everything I’d worked for over the years would be ruined. I was putting my entire life in his hands, an alpha I hadn’t even known the day before yesterday.

            “Levi,” Eren said, “I swear that I won’t do anything.”

            I looked up at him, dazed. “Then prove it to me. Show me I can trust you.” I tossed him the spray bottle, knowing I’d just given up my one defense against him. “Spray that on your neck, over your scent gland.”

            Without the least bit of hesitation, he did what I asked of him. The skin on his neck began to bubble and redden, like an acid burn. I stared at him in utter shock. I hadn’t been expecting it to do that.

            “Oh my god,” I breathed. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think...”

            “It’s nothing I can’t handle,” he said, voice level and calm.

            I hadn’t asked Hanji if that spray would cause permanent damage to an alpha, and the realization that it could hurt me more than I thought was possible. Suddenly it was imperative that we hurry. Not for my sake, but for his. Even if I didn’t want to mate with him, that didn’t mean that I wanted to ruin his chances to bond with another omega. Was my self-preservation worth that? I didn’t think that it was. Marking an omega was what alphas lived for, what they craved from the moment they went into their first rut. I couldn’t take that away from him.

            “Hurry the hell up,” I snapped, in a panic. “We have to get to Hanji faster than ever now. Get your ass over here.” I held my arms out to him in open invitation.

            Eren didn’t rush over to me like I assumed he would. All he did was stand there with a covetous expression on his face. “Give me a moment,” he said through clenched teeth.

            “We don’t have a moment, you moron. Your neck—”

            “Your scent changed.”

            “Of course it did. I smell like a foul skunk.”

            “That’s not it.” He moaned and a shudder shook his frame. He tilted his head to the side, eyes falling closed. When they opened up again, he pinned me to the spot with his heated gaze. “You’re submitting.”

            I shook my head almost violently. The fear I’d felt minutes ago returning. “No. You’re insane. I’d never submit to you, or any alpha.”

            “Don’t worry. It doesn’t change anything. Just makes it a bit harder for me. That’s why I asked you to give me a moment.”

            I stayed frozen in place as he pulled himself back from the brink of caving in to his instincts. It didn’t take as long as I was expecting it to, but I still couldn’t bring myself to take my eyes off of his neck. The skin there was a bright, vicious red. It had to hurt, but he gave no sign that it did.            

            After he took another deep breath, he said, “Okay. I have it under control. Can I come over there now?”

            “I already said you could, didn’t I?” I shot back, trying to sound annoyed and exasperated, but I couldn’t pull it off. Instead I sounded small and afraid, which irritated me to no end.

            With slow steps, Eren closed the distance between us. The closer he got to me, the more out of control I felt. It took everything I had not to throw myself at him. His enticing scent made something inside me stir, a deep, primal need that demanded me to claim this alpha for my own. And how I wanted to. Then I caught sight of his neck, at his ravaged scent gland, and I made a whiny sound in the back of my throat. He was hurt and I’d been the one that caused it.

            “I’m all right,” Eren assured, because the sound I had released had been one of worry. It was the omega inside of me wondering why my alpha was hurt.

            My _alpha…_     

            _Fucking shit._

            “I have you now,” Eren whispered as he gathered me up in his arms. “I promise I won’t hurt you. Please trust me on that, Levi.”

            “I don’t trust anyone—Mm.” Instinctively, I nuzzled my face against the side of his neck that was unmarred. His skin was warm and soft against my lips. _So tempting._ “You smell so good.”

            His grip tightened on me, but he started walking in the same direction we came from. He didn’t ask where the medical wing was, which would’ve worried me if I had enough brain capacity to think with left. But, as it was, all I could do was rub my face against him, too eager to get his scent on me. I wasn’t even aware when my hands shot up to snatch handfuls of his hair. The only thoughts running through my head were _Yes. Yes. Want your scent on me._ Need _it. Feels so right._ I’d never felt more like an omega than I did in that moment, so desperate that I was seconds away from begging him to mark me.

            I whined, needy, and turned around in his arms until I had my legs secured around his waist. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me steady, and I started grinding against him, completely lost to instincts now. I tried to fight them, I did, but it was so hard. Everything about this felt too good, too right. I couldn’t even remember why I’d been resisting this to begin with. I wanted him to respond to my touches, to touch me back, but he kept walking.

            “We’re almost there,” Eren said in a breathy voice. “Hold out a little longer.”

            “C-can’t. Too hot. It’s painful. _Please_.”

            He groaned, the sound filled with agony. He wanted to give into me, to ease the pain of the omega that had chosen him, but he was fighting it with every fiber of his being. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew why he was, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember. “We’re almost there,” he repeated. “Just try to endure it.”

            By the time we made it to the medical wing, I was sucking and biting on his neck, leaving behind vivid marks on his skin. At the sight of them, satisfaction welled up inside me. Anyone who saw him would know that he was spoken for, that he was mine _._

            _He’s not yours._

_But he could be._

“Hanji!” Eren called out, smacking his hand against the double doors that led to her office. No one was allowed in without the proper clearance, which he didn’t have. “Hanji! I need you to open the doors!” I pressed my lips to a spot just below his jawline and dragged my teeth across the skin before I started sucking on it, hard. His whole body shook. “Ah, fuck, Levi. You’re gonna—you’re gonna have to stop. You’re making it incredibly hard for me.”

            “I can tell,” I said in a dark, lustful tone I didn’t recognize. I pushed my hips forward and felt his erection throb against mine. “Maybe I like making it incredibly hard.”

            His response to that was to pound his fist against the doors. “Hanji! Open these fucking doors or I’m going to kick them down!”

            The door flew open seconds later to reveal a wild-eyed Hanji. “Eren, you’re disturbing me in the midst of a very important—” She stopped when she saw me in his arms. “What the hell is going on here?”

            “He chose me as his mate,” Eren explained in a rush, “so his scent gland became visible. I wanted to bring him here to keep him safe.”

            Hanji adjusted her thick glasses as she outright glared at his neck. “Well, he seems enthusiastic enough. Are you sure he didn’t want you to mark him? Oh, and you should wash that stuff off your scent gland right away. I’ll need you to come back in so I can check you over.”

            Eren set me down on my feet. I clung onto him. “Levi made it very clear that he didn’t want me to mark him. He’s acting on instincts right now. C-can you take him already? I need to get out of here before I do something that will make him hate me.”

            “No. Don’t leave,” I begged. “Stay with me.”

            He pushed me into her arms after that and took several steps back. “Take care of him, Hanji,” he said right before he took off without a backwards glance at us. I went to go after him, desperate for his touch, but Hanji snatched me by the arm and dragged me into her office. She shut the door behind us with a definite click.

            “I’m going to have to sedate you,” she informed me as she shoved me down onto a cot she kept in here for special cases. She strapped my wrists down faster than I could react to her movements. “You’re not going to stop going after him unless I do. Your body needs him right now, so I’m going to have to knock you out for a good twelve hours for this to pass. When you wake up, we have a lot to talk about.” Pulling up a medical stool next to the cot, she sat down on it and leaned back to retrieve a syringe from her desk drawer. “Just relax now. Everything is going to be okay.”

            I shook my head. “No. I need to go to him. You don’t understand…”

            “Shh, if you still feel that way when you wake up, then you can go to him all you want. But right now you’re being overrun by instincts. You’re not in your right mind.”

            “No,” I said, even when I knew it was futile.

            My body was so hot. It was unbearable.

            “Stay still for me.” She rubbed my arm with an alcohol swab. As she sunk the needle into my skin, she said, “He shouldn’t have been able to do what he did just now. His self-control is unheard of. To be frank, you’re lucky that he didn’t mark you, especially with how you were acting toward him. That alpha is something else entirely. It excites me. I can study him.”

            Her voice was already beginning to fade as my eyelids grew impossibly heavy. My vision went blurry in an unnatural way, sounds became long and indistinct, muddy, and everything was too dull and bright at the same time. The last thing I thought before I went under completely was: _I need to go to my alpha._

\---

 

Heavy. I felt so heavy.

            For a long, terrible moment, I had no idea where I was, or even who I was. Then it all came back to me, the way things do after the grogginess of sleep subsides. I remembered Eren and I walking to the library after breakfast to go do his paperwork. I remembered how he pointed out my scent gland after I accused him of being just like every other alpha out there. But above all else, I remembered the fear that came after I realized that I’d chosen him as my mate. The fear that was all consuming. Yet, in the end, I’d put my trust in him. I let him take me to the medical wing, which is probably where I was right now.

            Irritated, I tried to bring my right hand up to rub at my eye, but found that it had been strapped down to the cot I lay in. The same could be said for my other hand. What had I done in order for Hanji to restrain me? I couldn’t remember anything after I gave Eren permission to take me here. Had something bad happened? My body felt achy, muscles throbbing, but that wasn’t a bad sign. If Eren had mated with me, I would feel sated and relaxed. Right now I felt anything but.

            Turning my head to the side, I spotted Hanji’s enormous metal desk, which meant I was in her office. Judging by my sore arm and foggy mind, she had put me down for the count. I could lie here and try to guess why she felt the need to do that, but that would prove to be pointless real fast. Waiting for her to come back to explain things to me was a better option, that way I wouldn’t drive myself insane with every assumption my mind brewed up. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to wait for long, because a couple minutes later she came waltzing through the door, a clipboard clamped beneath her arm.

            When she saw that my eyes were open, she said in an excited tone, “I just got done examining your alpha.”

            “His neck,” I nearly shouted, remembering that I’d made him spray that repellent on it. “And he’s not my alpha.”

            She waved me off. “Sure. Oh, and his neck is fine. After he sprayed himself, he continuously tried to heal that spot, so he managed to avoid any real damage that could’ve been done. He’s a unique alpha, that one. He has the ability to focus on an injured part of his body and heal it in minutes. Do you know how rare that is? Normally alphas take weeks to heal, but your boy can do it in minutes.” She smacked her desk. “He’s truly amazing.”

            “Shut up and tell me why you strapped me down.”

            “You mean you don’t remember?” she asked, tapping her lip with a ballpoint pen she held. “That’s odd, though I’m sure the memories will come back to you with time. But, long story short, you wanted Eren to plow your ass. It astounds me that he was able to resist not only his instincts, but you. You were basically salivating over him.”

            I stared at her, abashed. “I would never salivate over anyone.”

            “That’s not what his neck says. You left quite a few hickeys behind. Just take a look at them the next time you see him, which leads me to the main topic of this conversation.” She set the clipboard down on her desk. “Since you’ve chosen him as your mate, you are now in a very vulnerable position. From what he told me, you weren’t even aware that you chose him, but that doesn’t matter now. The fact is your scent gland will rise whenever you’re around him, and considering Erwin wants you to train him, you’re going to be around him a lot. That means you either have to let him mark you, or I’ll be forced to tell Erwin of the situation. I can’t allow you to go walking around the sanctuary with your scent gland in plain sight. That’s sure to stir up a lot of trouble with the alphas that reside here. Especially since you’re the only unmated omega here.”

            I groaned. “You can’t tell Erwin. He’ll take me off my duties.”

            “Then are you going to let Eren mark you?”

            “Hell no.”

            “Then you leave me with no choice.”

            “Isn’t there another way?” I asked, grasping at straws.

            Hanji sighed. “I don’t see another way. The moment you’re near him, you’re going to react the same way you did today. Whether you like it or not, you _want_ that alpha, and quite badly, from what I saw. Not only will your instincts overwhelm you whenever you’re around him, but you’ll also be possessive of him. If a beta happens to get near him in a romantic way, you’re going to pitch a fit. You may not believe that you will, but oh, you will.”

            I looked up at the ceiling and tried to make sense of what had happened to me in less than forty-eight hours. If what Hanji was saying was true, and I had no reason to believe that it wasn’t, then I was fucked. I wouldn’t be able to go back to my duties. Eren would cause too much interference with my thought process, which meant I would become a useless asset to my team. Erwin wouldn’t put up with that for long. He would demand that I make a decision. I would either have to let Eren mark me as his own, or I would be removed from my posts and assigned other duties. Omega duties.

            No. I couldn’t let that happen. Not after I worked so hard to be in the position I was in.

            “Unstrap me,” I said.

            Hanji gave me a quick once over before she leaned down and yanked on the strap. As soon as my hand was free, I undid the other strap and sat up. There had to be another way around this. I wouldn’t let Eren dictate how I went about my life. It didn’t matter if I chose him as a mate. I didn’t want him.

            After I slipped on my shoes, Hanji said, “There is one other way, but Eren would have to be in agreement with it, because it would be painful for the both of you. But if you’re both willing, then I believe that if you let him scent mark you several times a day, you’ll be able to keep some semblance of normality around him. It’ll be hard at first, but with time, it will get easier.”

            “I’ll talk to him.”

            “Don’t get me wrong here. It won’t be an easy thing to do, Levi. The temptation to mate with him will always be there, strong and undeniable. If you act upon it and Eren winds up giving in somewhere along the way, then you can’t hold him responsible for it, seeing as you’re the one that is putting him in this position. If it were up to him, he would mark you. He would make you his.”

            I rubbed at my temples, feeling a headache coming on. “I don’t want to be his, or anyone else’s. Just…take me to my room. I need to shower and get out of these clothes.”

            I needed to get Eren’s scent off me.

            “Give me a minute to finish this up,” she said.

            Turning her back to me, she scribbled something down on the medical form she had clipped to the clipboard. I steered my attention toward the door as she continued to work in silence. Somewhere on the other side of it was Eren. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to avoid him for long, that I would have to find the courage to ask him to scent mark me on a daily basis, which seemed demeaning. I would depend on him from here on out. God, I wanted to hate him. I wanted to blame him for everything that happened today. I really did, but I couldn’t find it in myself to do that. I was the one that chose him for a mate. Me. If anything, I was more responsible for this shitty situation than he was.

            When Hanji was done filling in her paperwork, which she announced by slamming her pen down on the desk, we left her office without saying much to each other. As we passed the double doors and stepped out into the empty corridor, I immediately felt exposed and vulnerable. I didn’t like the feeling, but I couldn’t shake it, even when I knew that an alpha wouldn’t attempt anything when I had Eren’s scent on my skin. The uneasiness came from not knowing whether the suppressants I’d been taking would work now that I’d chosen a mate. I had a feeling that they wouldn’t, that my body would gladly go into heat the instant Eren put his hands on me.

            By the time we made it to my room, I was determined to speak to Eren before today came to an end. I wanted everything figured out by tomorrow morning.

            “Eren’s in apartment A1,” Hanji said, like she’d been reading my mind. “I think you and him need to talk.”

            I pushed open my door after I scanned my badge and punched in my four-digit code. “I know that.”

            “Don’t worry about explaining anything to Erwin. Eren told him that you two finished the tour. As of right now, Erwin is in the dark about everything that went on today.”

            Relief flooded through me. “Good.”

            “Don’t be too hard on Eren when you go talk to him. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

            I knew that too.

 

\---

 

I stood outside Eren’s apartment with my stomach in knots. It was eight at night. Two hours before lights out, and I couldn’t be less prepared to get this over with. How could I face him when I knew what would happen when I smelled him? When I knew what I was going to ask of him?

            “Come on, Levi,” I said to myself. “Knock on the fucking door already.”

            Before I could raise my fist to do that, my heart hammering away in my chest like it had every intention of galloping right out of my ribcage, the door swung open and Eren leaned up against the doorframe to regard me with a look of tenderness that soothed the omega in me. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I was waiting for you to knock, but you were taking a while, so I thought I would save you the trouble.”

            I glared at him, feeling an unfamiliar warmth pour into my cheeks at lightning speed. He’d been watching me through the peephole. How ridiculous. “First of all, that’s creepy as hell. Second of all, I’m sorry about today. I didn’t think that this was how things would turn out. I don’t know how any of this happened. You may not believe me when I say that, but it’s the truth. I had no intention on choosing you, or any other alpha, as my mate.”       

            “I believe you.”

            I looked up at him then and saw that the skin over his scent gland was splotchy, but healed. It filled me with relief to know that I hadn’t caused any permanent damage. As for the other side of his neck… I groaned aloud. There was an abundance of dark hickeys that I knew I had given him. “Why haven’t you healed those yet?” I asked, aggravated that I had to see the evidence of my arousal painted on his skin.

            “These?” He touched the marks I’d left with his fingertips. “Why would I heal them? I like them.”

            Not knowing how to respond to that, I settled for, “Listen, there’s a reason I’m here. I didn’t come just to apologize. I have a favor to ask of you, and I would appreciate it if you would hear me out.”

            “Tell me anything that you need to tell me,” he said. “I’ll listen.”

            Why did he have to be kind and understanding? It made it hard to dislike him. I wanted him to give me every reason to hate him, to distrust him, but so far he had done everything in his power to prevent that from happening. Still, my reaction to him didn’t make any sense to me. From the time I was six, I’d loathed every alpha I came across. It didn’t matter if they showed me kindness, I would hate them simply for what they were, what they could do, what they _had_ done. So why was this one different? Why had he been different from the moment I saw him down on his knees in that confinement chamber?

            “I won’t let you mark me,” I said in a small voice that sounded nothing like my own. It was weak, this voice. “I can’t. But if I don’t do something, then everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve accomplished, will be gone.”

            Eren reached out, slow, questioning, but when I didn’t move, he took my hand. “Just tell me what to do.”

            “I need you to scent mark me every day, so I can get some relief from…” _Wanting you so much,_ I finished in my head, but didn’t dare say out loud. “Can you do that?”

            In response, Eren brought his wrist up to his neck and rubbed it against his scent gland, covering it in his essence. Then, ever so slowly, gently, he rubbed his wrist against my own scent gland. I unwound under his touch, my body accepting him.

            “It’ll be easier to resist your instincts if I do it this way,” Eren said, running his wrist on the other side of my neck now. “If I were to do it in the traditional way, to rub our necks together, I think that would make everything harder for you.”

            All I could say in response to that was, “Thank you.”

            “I chose you too, you know. Once an omega chooses their mate, they cannot choose another. An alpha, on the other hand, can choose to mark them, to claim them, but can refuse to let the omega mark them in return. I’m sure you know that. But… I would let you mark me. I would let you claim me.”

            “Why?”

            “Because I’ve never wanted anyone the way that I want you.”     


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I received some fanart for this fic. Go check it out --> [(x)](http://illopii.tumblr.com/post/144496235546/whoever-havent-read-this-fic-your-loss-by)  
> Thank you to the beautiful artist! <3
> 
> But, yes! Update time!  
> I've noticed that I generally suck at beginning notes now. Like, what is this? Just know that if you're reading this, and you leave me comments, that I love you with all my gay heart. <3

Omegas had always been considered weak, submissive creatures that served no purpose other than to mate with an alpha and bear their children. They were inferior among our kind, and for the longest time, I believed there was nothing that could be done to change that. That was until I had witnessed my mother die at the hands of her mate, an alpha that had claimed her, but had not let her claim him in return. From that moment on, with the memories of her blood-curdling screams strengthening my resolve, I’d been fighting what I was. I would prove that I wasn’t weak. I would show everyone that I would never submit to any alpha that crossed my path, no matter how my body responded to them. But above all else, I would prove to myself that it was possible not to be ruled by what I was, an omega.

            I would keep the promise I’d made to my mother as she lay dying in a puddle of her own blood, her hand tightly clasped in mine. That I would never let an alpha mark me.

 

\---

 

Eren’s scent clung to my skin, a deep blend of black sand and spiced vanilla. I wanted to be repulsed by the smell that mingled with my own, but something inside me prevented that from happening. I was both soothed and excited by it. Even when I couldn’t stand how it made me react, I couldn’t help but bring my wrist up to inhale that delicious scent again and again. There was no getting used to it. It hit me anew every time, although it was beginning to fade now. Soon enough, it would be gone entirely, and he would have to scent mark me once again to keep me from aching so much. There was a part of me that couldn’t wait for that to happen.

            Irritated with my behavior, I gathered up a clean towel, a change of clothes, and my small bag of toiletries from on top of my dresser. Not everyone was lucky enough to have their own apartment with a bathroom. There were some people, like me, who were forced to use the communal showers, where anyone on the first floor could come right in and get a view of you buck naked. For some reason, that bothered me more than usual. Most days I could get through my morning routine without a problem, but something was making me hesitate. Something foreign and unusual that I’d never felt before. Then it hit me all at once. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I didn’t want to anger my alpha.

            _Dammit. For the last time, he’s_ not _your alpha. You don’t belong to him, and he doesn’t belong to you. It’s just your instincts telling you otherwise._

            Swallowing down the unwelcomed emotion that invaded my senses and demanded that I stay put, I strode out of my room in determined strides and immediately came face to face with Eren. Surprised, I jerked to a stop and threw myself back against the door to get as far away from him as possible. I’d been smelling his scent all night in hopes of somewhat desensitizing myself to it, but now that he was standing right in front of me, I knew that I hadn’t succeeded in the least. This close, his scent was irresistible.

            “Sorry,” Eren said, taking a few steps back to give me more room. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

            “What the hell are you even doing here?” I snapped.

            “You told me to come down here before breakfast to scent mark you again, remember?”

            Breakfast didn’t start for another two hours. Did he think scent marking took that long? Or was he using that as an excuse to come be alone with me? I was guessing the latter, and I was not having that, even though I craved his presence. “I still have to shower,” I said as I walked past him, doing my best to ignore the way I wanted to go to him. “So get lost until I’m done.”

            He kept in pace with me without a problem. “Wait, you don’t have your own bathroom?”

            “No. Unlike you, oh privileged alpha, I only have a small room to call my own.”

            “Where do you shower then?”

            “I use the communal showers.”

            He grabbed me by the arm and kept me in place with ease. There was an edge to his voice when he asked, “Where others can see you?”

            “You can stop that right now,” I said as I yanked my arm out of his grasp. “I don’t care what your instincts are telling you to do. If I want to prance around naked for all the world to see, I could. I don’t need your permission to do anything. Is that clear?”

            “But your scent gland…”

            “I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

            Eren brought his hands up and scrubbed his fingers through his hair several times, the sides of his mouth lifting into a snarl. He stayed like that for several minutes, shaking, and then said, in a feral voice, “I understand.”

            His answer was unanticipated. I expected him to fight me on this and demand that I find another place to shower, or not shower at all. Yet here he was, battling his instincts and allowing me to go about my day as I normally would if he weren’t around. Would this alpha ever not surprise me? He was constantly proving me wrong and impressing me with his unwavering self-control.

            “Could I at least stand outside the showers?” Eren asked, shifting from one foot to the other. “In case something should happen, I want to be there.”

            “So bothersome,” I muttered, but was quick to add, “Fine, but if you attempt to go in there at any time while I’m showering, I will spray you with the same stuff I had you use on your neck yesterday.”

            “I expect nothing less.”

            Without saying another word, I made a beeline for the communal showers, ignoring him the entire time. Or at least pretending to ignore him. I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him whenever his attention was drawn to something other than me, which wasn’t often. Today he wore a plain white Tee that hugged his lithe, defined torso, and dark-blue jeans that were snug in all the right places— _all_ the right places. I couldn’t get over how attracted to him I was. Resisting my instincts was hard enough, but this? This was torture, through and through.

            Just as we reached the entrance to the showers, Eren snaked his arm around my waist and steered me behind him without an explanation, a low growl piercing the silence. I had been so consumed in my thoughts that I hadn’t even taken notice in the other scent permeating the air. It was one I knew well. It also belonged to another alpha, the only one that lived on the first floor, which meant that Eren’s reaction shouldn’t have surprised me any. But it did, because it caused something inside of me to revel in the strong, possessive sound that was leaving his throat. My chest swelled with pride for my alpha. No matter what we faced, he would protect me at all costs.

            Coming back to myself with sudden ferocity, I shook my head and cursed under my breath. I didn’t need anyone to protect me. I could take care of myself.

            “Calm down,” I barked.

            Without looking at me, keeping his eyes on the person he considered a threat, Eren ran his wrist over his scent gland and then brought it to my neck, marking me with his scent, telling any and every alpha that smelled me that I was his, and his alone. “You know this alpha?”

            “Yes,” I said, my voice a little too breathy. His skin on mine felt so good. Why wasn’t I putting a stop to this? “He’s also been marked, so stop acting like a mongrel.”

            Farlan and I exchanged looks, his eyebrow shooting up in question. He hadn’t moved an inch since Eren growled at him. “Am I allowed to shower now?”

            “Reveal your neck first,” Eren ordered.

            Slowly, knowing that if he moved too quickly it would be seen as a challenge, Farlan unwrapped the towel he had around his neck and tilted his head to the side to show the red mark on his scent gland. “As you can see, I’m spoken for.”

            “Although he’s been marked, I’m still not comfortable with you showering with him,” Eren admitted as he turned to me. He kept his wrist pressed to my neck, like he wanted to keep touching me, but knew that this was the only way I would let him. “You can shower in my apartment. I know that you don’t want me telling you what to do, and I respect that, but there’s only so much self-control I can wield at once. Imagining you naked in the same room as him drives me crazy. I don’t think I would be able to stay out of there.” He coaxed my head back until our eyes met. “Put yourself in my shoes. Would you want me to go in there with another omega?”

            I was about to tell him that I couldn’t care less, that he could shower with whomever he wanted to, but then the thought of him standing bare for someone other than me to see made something snap. _No one_ could see him in that state. _No one_ was allowed to touch him. No one but me. He was _mine_.

            Out of the blue, Farlan roared with laughter. “Sorry, sorry,” he said in a hurry, noticing the way Eren’s muscles tensed. “I’ve just never seen an omega do that before. Levi, you were growling. I would say that the idea of him showering with another omega didn’t please you too much. Just wait until Isabel hears about this.”

            I was growling? As soon as I realized it, the sound, throaty and alarming, cut off. Hanji had told me that I would become possessive of Eren, but I hadn’t believed her until now. The thought of someone else touching him filled me with a rage I’d never experienced before. I couldn’t even begin to fight against this emotion rolling through me like a tidal wave.  

            “Don’t you dare tell Isabel about this,” I said, embarrassed that someone I worked with had seen me become jealous over an alpha. At this rate, my reputation would be ruined by the end of the week. Then, to Eren, “I’ll shower in your apartment. Come on. Now.”

            Eren didn’t ask any questions. He put his hand on the small of my back and led me away from the communal showers, away from Farlan. As soon as we were around the corner and out of sight, I walked ahead without him. What had happened back there? Why was I permitting an alpha to overpower me in every way imaginable? If I continued to let my instincts dictate my actions, then I would be mating with Eren in no time. I needed to stay in control of myself at all times, no matter how I felt, or how I reacted to the one I’d chosen as my mate. I couldn’t let him break down my walls.

            The worst part about this was he wasn’t even trying.

            After we arrived at Eren’s apartment, he unlocked his front door and said, “I’ll go get you breakfast while you shower. Hanji told me that all the good food goes fast, and that you have to get there early if you want anything worth eating.”

            “She’s not lying.”

            “Well, just tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you.”

            “That won’t be necessary,” I said, still angry about what happened. “I can get my own breakfast.”

            He reached out and took me by the wrist with the utmost of care. “Levi, please. I know that you hate me for being what I am, and that you wish I weren’t here at all, but give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I’m not like other alphas.” He traced circles on my skin with his thumb. “I hate the way you look at me, like I’m something to be feared. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you.”

            “No, you just want to own me.”

            “Don’t assume that of me. There are some alphas that enjoy treating omegas like their possessions, but I’m not one of them. I would never force you to do anything against your will, and I would never treat you as anything less than an equal.”

            Lies. An omega could never be an alpha’s equal. The fact that he was saying that proved to me that he had nothing but ill intentions.

            Livid, I yanked my wrist out of his hand. “You have nothing to prove, because no matter what you do, I will never trust you. You and me, we’re not friends. The only reason I’m here right now is because my body betrayed me and I somehow ended up choosing you as a mate, but I don’t want you. So stop trying to get on my good side, because you have no hope of becoming anything more to me than an irritating inconvenience that I want to be rid of.”

            Pain shot through Eren’s face like I’d physically hit him, but he didn’t speak. Silence crackled between us, a tangible energy in the air that was too dense not to notice. There was so much hurt in his eyes. It made me want to take back everything I’d just said, but I couldn’t. So I stood there and said nothing, letting the words sink in and put a barrier between us.

            It was better this way.

            “I’m sorry,” Eren said at last. “I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds. I’ll go ahead and wait for you outside while you shower. Feel free to use anything you want in the bathroom. I don’t mind.” He turned around and left his apartment without a backwards glance in my direction.

            I took two steps towards the door before I forced myself to stop. This was for the best. It didn’t matter if I hurt him. It didn’t matter at all.

            So what was this unbearable ache in my chest?

            I stood there for minutes that stretched on to feel like hours, fighting the need to go comfort him, and then I turned around on my heel and stalked through his apartment until I found the bathroom. I shut myself inside and ignored the potency of his scent in here. Then I set my things down on the sink countertop and began to undress, furious. I couldn’t stop picturing his pained expression, or hearing his agonized tone before he left his apartment. Did I really have to be that cold towards him? He hadn’t done anything to deserve this. I was taking out my anger on him because the way he made me feel terrified me.

            “Fuck,” I muttered as I turned on the water, the showerhead emitting a spray of cold water. I climbed inside without waiting for it to warm. I didn’t even feel it as it hit the top of my head, my mind a million miles away.

            Why did I even care if I hurt him? If I pushed him to hate me, then that would make things so much easier for the both of us. He would keep his distance from me, and that was a good thing—a _great_ thing. That reduced the chances of me giving into my instincts, and that also meant I wouldn’t have to put up with this idiotic possessiveness I felt toward him. Yes, this was good. I just had to ignore the lingering ache in my heart that worsened with every passing second. An ache so profound, it was a wonder how I didn’t look down and see some type of physical wound ailing my chest.

            After I washed up—using Eren’s shampoo and body wash, even when I had brought my own—I stepped out of the tub and finished up my morning routine in record time. Now all that was left to do was go out there, let him scent mark me, and get on with my day. There was no reason to stretch this out. The sooner I got this over with, the better. So, with that thought in mind, I walked out of his apartment and spotted him leaning up against the wall, arms crossed. His eyes were closed, and they didn’t open as I approached him. All alphas senses were sharp, enhanced, so I knew that he heard me. Right now he was choosing to ignore me.

            “Eren?” I said. Slowly, his lids opened to reveal cold eyes that trained on me. It caught me off guard, because it was all wrong. I didn’t want him to look at me like that. “Y-you need to scent mark me before I can go down to the dining hall.”

            Without looking away from me, he brought his wrist up to his neck and rubbed it against his gland several times before he mirrored his actions against my own gland. Although he was being gentle, careful, there was no affection in his touch. I couldn’t blame him for that, not after what I’d said to him, but that didn’t stop a low, questioning whine from leaving my lips. The omega in me—the omega that I was—wanted to know why my alpha was treating me in this cold manner, even when I already knew why. I’d been the cause behind this treatment, yet I couldn’t stop that sound from pouring out of me, distressed.

            Eren tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. “Sorry, Levi. I can’t give you what you don’t want.”

            “I don’t want anything from you,” I snarled, not meaning it.

            “Exactly.”

            Dejected, I said, “Are we done here?” He nodded. “Good. I’m going down to the dining hall now.” I didn’t wait for him to follow me. I started walking down the corridor, needing to get away from him. It was only after I turned the corner that I realized he hadn’t tried to follow me at all.

 

\---

 

“What’s wrong?” Hanji asked for the umpteenth time in a row.

            For the last hour or so, I’d been in the medical wing with her while Eren was in the other room getting a physical exam from Rico Brzenska, the primary care physician here at the sanctuary. Before we could begin any type of training, we needed to make sure that he was in good health. I had no doubt that he was, going on what I had seen him do, but it was better to be safe than sorry. If he went down during a mission outside the walls, then our entire team would be in danger. That wasn’t a risk any of us were willing to take.

            “That question implies that there’s something wrong,” I said. “For the record, there’s not.”

            Hanji rolled her eyes in the most dramatic way possible. “Bullshit. You look like someone just kicked you in the nads. Come on. Fess up.”

            “There’s nothing to fess up, so stop asking stupid questions. Why don’t you make yourself useful, and go check to see if Eren’s blood test results are in? I don’t want to be in here with you any longer than I have to.”

            “Um, rude. You’re just mad, because I know there’s something going on here. Eren looked depressed as hell when he came in, like a puppy that had been scolded too harshly. I’m guessing you had something to do with that.” She stood up from the chair she’d been sitting in and grabbed Eren’s medical chart. “Maybe I should talk to him instead. He seems easier to persuade than you. Then again, you’re a gremlin of the night so...” She trailed off and left the room while laughing like a hyena that had just been injected with ecstasy. No matter how many times I heard that laugh, I couldn’t get used to it. It left your ears ringing.

            I waited a few minutes before I went to sit down in the chair she’d abandoned. She was right, of course. There was definitely something wrong. Eren hadn’t spoken to me since our encounter this morning, avoiding me the entire day. My body was starting to ache for him, his scent fading from my skin as the hours passed, but I’d be damned if I was going to ask him to scent mark me once again. I wasn’t going to seek him out, needy and desperate. I would rather deal with the intolerable heat that coursed through my body, and made me feel like I’d been sitting too close to a raging fire.

            How I hated being an omega.

            I was just about to go check on Rico’s progress when she came into the room. Before I could ask her anything, she walked over to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup. I waited for her to update me on Eren’s health status, but she remained quiet.

            “Well?” I snapped, impatient.

            “He checks out,” she said. “More than checks out. He’s the epitome of health. Erwin wasn’t lying when he told me that this alpha was something else. The strength he possesses is phenomenal. Truly mind blowing.”

            Yet he handled me with such gentleness.

            “So, when can we start training?” I asked, unable to keep the anger from my voice.

            “As soon as possible. I already contacted Erwin. He wants you to take Eren to the shooting range in an hour.”

            “Good. Where’s Eren, anyway?”

            Rico looked at me over the rim of the mug she held, her glasses fogging over from the steam. “He decided to wait outside.”

            “Tell Hanji that we left, and to contact me the second she gets his blood test results back.” I didn’t wait to hear her response. I left the room and strode down the long corridor to the double doors that led out of the medical wing. I pushed them open and there was Eren, standing near a drinking fountain. When he looked up, I told him, “You checked out. We start training in an hour. Do you need anything? We’re going to be busy for the rest of the night.”

            “I’m good,” he said, emotionless.

            “Okay, well, let’s head out then.” I didn’t move, because I couldn’t. Having him this close sent my instincts into overdrive. Fuck. My body hurt.

            He came closer, but made no move to touch me. “Levi—”

            “I’m fine,” I lied. “Just give me a minute.”     

            “You’re not fine. I know you’re not.” He caressed the side of my neck, giving me instant relief. “At least let me do this for you.”

            I nodded without meeting his gaze. The second his scent was on my skin, I sighed, nuzzling against his wrist. _Bliss._ He marked the other side of my neck and then stepped back. “Wait,” I said, reaching out and grabbing his arm to prevent him from putting anymore distance between us.

            “Why? Earlier you said—”

            “I know what I said, but… I don’t like when you’re mad at me. It makes me feel strange.”

            “What do you want from me, Levi? You don’t want to give me a chance to prove myself to you. You hate me for being what I am. I just… I don’t know what you want.”

            I looked up at him as I took both his hands in mine, bringing them up to my neck. “I’m scared of what I want.”

            “Which is?”

            “You. I want you.”


	5. Chapter 5

“You. I want you.”

            The words left my mouth before I knew I was even saying them. The truth spilling out of me, unbidden. For a brief moment that couldn’t have lasted longer than a few seconds, an overwhelming sense of peace cocooned me in warmth. Everything was as it should be. I was wrapped in my alpha’s arms with his scent flooding my senses. _So good. So right._ There was nowhere else I wanted to be but right here with him. Then reality caught up and pierced through the blissful haze, bringing with it the fear I had felt since I saw my mother die before me. The fear that warped and distorted everything until it was all there was. The arms around me no longer felt right, because they weren’t supposed to be there. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. I was losing control again.

            “No,” I said, stumbling back and shaking my head. “I can’t… can’t do this.”

            “Levi, wait.”

            “No, you don’t understand. I made her a promise. I promised her…” I was weak yet again, my need for him draining me of strength as my body readied itself for mating. I was submitting, despite the fear. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t I fight it? I didn’t understand.

            Eren took a step toward me, slow, careful, and then I was in his arms again. It felt so good, so safe, but at the same time, so wrong and dangerous.

            “Don’t,” I whispered, trying to push him away with arms that were too frail. I was at his mercy. Again. “Please. I can’t.”

            “I know that. I can sense your fear. You’re frightened, but not of me. You’re scared of what I am; of what I can take away from you.” He touched the side of my neck in a gentle caress, right over my scent gland. “You don’t want to be marked. Even when your scent is telling me you’re submitting, you don’t want me as your mate. You don’t want any alpha, but I’ll prove myself to you. I don’t care how long it takes.”

            I looked up at him, our eyes meeting. “How?”

            “I know words are meaningless to you. No matter how many times I tell you that I won’t hurt you, you don’t believe me. So I’ll show you.” He tilted my head to the side, and before I knew what was happening, his lips were skimming over the spot that he would have to bite to make me his. I froze, my heart pounding hard enough to make my chest hurt. _No._ “You must realize by now how hard it is for an alpha to resist an omega that has chosen them as their mate. Every fiber of my being is telling me to mark you, to make you mine, but I resist, because I know that’s not what you want. I can feel your rejection.”

            “I—I don’t understand. How can you feel my rejection when I’m submitting?” I asked.

            He leaned back. “There’s more to you than just being an omega. Just as I am more than an alpha. Our instincts dominate who we are, but you and I, we’ve been fighting our instincts for a long time now. You may not believe me when I say this, but what got me interested in you wasn’t the fact that you were an unmarked omega. I became interested in you when you stood before an alpha in rut and didn’t cower to your instincts. That’s the guy I want to get to know.” He pressed his lips to my scent gland again, breath hot on my skin as he said, “That’s the guy I want desperately. So tell me, will you give me a chance to prove myself to you?”

            With all the strength I could muster, I put my hands on his shoulders and shoved him backwards. There wasn’t enough force behind it to make him move, but he stepped back anyway.

            “Is that your response?” Eren asked, the pain evident in his voice.

            I shook my head and then raised my wrist to rub it against my neck. Although I’d been marked by him minutes ago, I knew that my scent was hidden underneath his. This was my test. Alphas were the ones that marked and claimed. Took. Throughout my life, I had never once seen an alpha let an omega scent mark them in return. It went against their nature. Even Farlan didn’t let Isabel scent mark him, and he loved her and let her claim him. So if Eren truly wanted to prove to me that he wasn’t like any other alpha, then this was the first step in the right direction.

            Looking him in the eye, I lifted my hand up toward his neck and waited, a question in my gaze. _Can I do this? Will you let me hold control over you?_

To my surprise, Eren leaned his head to the side and exposed his neck with no hesitation whatsoever. “Go ahead,” he said.

            With greedy intent, I ran my wrist over his scent gland, marking him, laying claim. My scent would waft off of him for hours. Anyone who smelt him would smell me, an omega, someone who was supposed to be beneath him. The exhilaration I felt quickly evolved into something different, something I couldn’t identify right away. It was only after I let my hand fall to my side that I realized what this emotion was. It was gratitude. Deep down, I didn’t think he would let me do this, because I believed all alphas were alike. Dominant. Controlling. Relentless. Could this alpha really be different? Although I didn’t want to believe it, because it made me vulnerable, I knew that he was. He’d proven it to me on many different occasions.

            Up until I met Eren, I never had any desire to let an alpha in. My hatred for them made it easy to resist my instincts. I loathed them all for being what they were, even when I managed to befriend some for the sake of work. That hatred was goaded on by my mother. I couldn’t forget her face no matter how many years passed. It was left ruined and broken, torn apart. The day her mate decided he didn’t want her anymore, he killed her instead of letting her live on, because he didn’t want her to be touched by another. She died for his greed.

            Alphas were monsters.

            I laughed, the sound of it humorless and pitiful. So this was my fate? “I want to hate you,” I said, my voice cracking. “I want to hate you so much. Tell me why I can’t? Tell me why I want you when you can hurt me just like he hurt her? I wonder if you’ll kill me too. Will you ruin me when you don’t want me anymore?”

            Cautious, Eren pulled me against him, his embrace warm and gentle. There was something different about his scent now. It was mingled with fear. How was it possible that I had managed to make this alpha afraid when I was so weak?

            “I know you’ve been hurt,” he whispered, “but please don’t push me away, Levi. I don’t want you to hate me.”

            “Why? Aren’t I just another omega to you?”

            “You’re not like any other omega I’ve met.” He took my face into his hands—always so gentle—and angled my head back until I was looking at him. “Tell me what I need to do in order to stay by your side. Lay down some ground rules. Anything you want. Just…please don’t keep me from you. I wouldn’t be able to take it. I don’t know how I’ve come to care for you in such a short amount of time, but I have, and if you decided to hate me simply for what I am…” He pressed his forehead to mine and I was shocked to my very core. The scent coming off him… This alpha was submitting. To me. “Please, Levi.”

            Without knowing how, or why, I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, “I’ll give you a chance to prove yourself.”

            It shouldn’t have been easy to give in, but it was, and that scared me more than anything.

 

 ---

 

The shooting range was crowded with my team by the time Eren and I arrived at a quarter past six. Despite me being an omega, Erwin had appointed me as the captain of an elite squad of soldiers that went outside the walls to attain essentials for the sanctuary. No one could believe it at first, but I proved myself on my first mission out. I was able to lead my team efficiently, with hardly any casualties—a rare thing at best. It didn’t matter what rank I held in my society, or how people expected me to be, I was anything but weak. And thanks to my persistence and hard work, I was able to show that every time I returned from a mission.

            “Line up,” I ordered, the commotion in the room dying out as everyone went to do as I said. When they were all in line, I told them, “This is the newest member of our team. Eren Jaeger. He’s an S-ranked alpha. Beginning today, he’ll be training with us. Treat him as you would treat any other member of your team. Is that understood?” A chorus of _Yes, sir!_ rang out. “Good. Now introduce yourselves. Starting with Auruo.”

            “Auruo Bossard. A-ranked beta.”

            “Erd Gin. A-ranked beta.”

            “Gunther Schultz. A-ranked beta.”

            “We met before. I’m Farlan Church. A-ranked alpha.” Farlan flashed me a knowing smirk. I ignored it.

            Next in line was my best friend, and one of the only people I’d come to trust completely. “Isabel Magnolia. A-ranked omega. It’s nice to meet you, Eren!” She smiled and waved.

            Eren acknowledged her with a nod of his head. “Nice to meet you, too.”

            “Next,” I said.

            “Petra Ral. A-ranked beta.”

            “That’s all—” I began, but Eren interrupted me with, “What about you?”

            “You already know what I am,” I shot back.

            “Yes, but I don’t know your rank.”

            I rolled my eyes and said, “Levi Ackerman. S-ranked omega. Happy?”

            “Very.” He smiled and I realized that he didn’t smile often, which was a shame. He had a beautiful smile.

            I turned away from him. “Now that we’re all introduced, I want to begin training right away. You guys can go ahead and train like any other day. I’m going to go to a separate room to give Eren some one-on-one training.”

            “MHMMM!” Isabel bellowed as she tied her red hair back into a ponytail. She was wearing her usual white tank top and green cargo shorts that she trained in. “You give him that one-on-one training that he needs, Levi.”

            I glowered at her. “Hand me the Desert Eagle, and shut up.”

            She held the gun out to me with a sly grin on her face. I snatched it from her without comment. Then I left the main room, glad that Eren followed after me without having to be told to. I led him to a private room with two lanes that was specifically used for one-on-one training. When I reached it, I pushed open the door and flipped on the lights. There were safety ear muffs and glasses in a glass compartment in the corner. I gestured to it and said, “Get us each a pair of glasses and muffs. There are thicker muffs for alphas, since your hearing is enhanced.”

            Eren strode up to the compartment and pulled open one of the doors. When he had what he needed, he walked back over to me. He handed me a pair of muffs and glasses. I put them on.

            “Have you ever handled a gun before?” I asked.

            “No. Never needed one.”

            “Of course not.” I held up the gun. “This is a semiautomatic Desert Eagle pistol. It holds seven rounds and if you intend to use it, you better use all those rounds.” I handed it to him. “Now stand with your feet shoulder length apart and slightly bend your right knee. Good. Now grasp the gun with both hands and just like your knee, bend your right elbow. This gun has a strong recoil, so if you don’t have that elbow bent, you’re going to stagger back. Go ahead and shoot off a round.” I took several steps back and watched him. He aimed and shot with no trouble. When I checked to see where the bullet pierced through the target, I saw that he had hit it directly in the center. “I thought you said you’ve never handled a gun before?”

            “I haven’t,” he said. “That was beginner’s luck.”

            “Try it again.”

            He shot once more, wielding the same results. “Hmm.”

            “Alphas infuriate me.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Never mind that. Tomorrow I’ll tell Erwin that we need to start with more complicated training. It’s pointless to waste time on this if you’re picking it up this quickly, although I have a feeling that you’ll be the same way with sniper training.” I slid off the safety glasses with a sigh, remembering what Rico had told me earlier in the medical wing. _The strength he possesses is phenomenal. Truly mind blowing._ There was no mistake about that. “You can head to the dining hall for dinner. I’ll contact you first thing tomorrow morning to inform you about our training plans.”

            “Aren’t you going to eat dinner?” Eren asked, taking off the ear muffs.

            “No. I’m turning in early.” I was exhausted. My body had been put through hell and back these last couple of days. I still needed to get used to having him around.

            “If you’re too tired to go to the dining hall, I could always bring you your dinner.”

            “I’d rather you didn’t.”

            “Oh…okay. I’ll put these away.” He took the ear muffs and safety glasses back over to the glass compartment, shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked so fucking depressed. The worst part being that I didn’t like when he looked that way. I’d caused him a lot of grief since he arrived here at Sanctuary Recon, even when he hadn’t done anything to earn that type of treatment. The way I reacted to him wasn’t his doing, yet I held it against him like it was. Shit. The least I could do was let him get me dinner. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

            “You know what,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. How aggravating. Why was I acting shy about this? “I think I’ll take you up on that offer to bring me dinner.”

            Eren whirled around, almost dropping the glasses he held. It took him a while to speak, but when he did, his voice was just as off as mine. “Okay. What would you like me to get for you?”

            “Just get me whatever they’re serving. I’m not picky.”

            “All right.” After he closed the door to the glass compartment, he walked up to me with a smile that could’ve parted the heavens. “Thank you, Levi.”

            “For what? For letting you get me dinner?”

            He shook his head. “No. For trying. I know that this isn’t easy for you.”

            I shrugged like it was nothing, even when we both knew that it was. “Don’t think of it as anything.” I went to the door and pulled it open. “Don’t let my team stop you. Trust me. They’ll try.”

            I escaped, wondering what this feeling in my chest was. My heart was beating so fast, like it was demanding me to figure something out. This feeling was unusual and different somehow. It wasn’t like going into heat. There was no intense sexual desire, or overwhelming heat that coursed through my body. There was just longing and…happiness. Such happiness. I really had chosen Eren as my mate, hadn’t I? It didn’t happen by mistake. My body didn’t betray me. Whether it was unconscious or not, I _had_ chosen him.

            When I made it back into the main room of the shooting range, I dismissed the rest of the team for dinner. Auruo and Erd stayed back, as I knew they would. They were determined to figure out how to work the PSE bows we had brought back on our last haul. Any type of weapon we found was kept and trained with. Right now, we needed everything we could get our hands on. Humans wanted us gone, and they were going through drastic measures to accomplish that. If we didn’t work twice as hard, we were going to be overthrown.

            As I walked up the short staircase that connected to the corridor, Isabel sprouted out of nowhere and threw her arm around my shoulders. “Big bro,” she boomed, leaning her head on my shoulder. “There are lots of things we need to talk about. Won’t you join me for dinner?”

            I knew that Farlan couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. “I wasn’t planning on eating dinner. I’m heading to my room.”

            “Oh? I’ll walk you there, then.”

            “Isabel, if you’re hoping to get information out of me about that alpha—”

            “Your alpha, you mean? Of course I’m planning to get information about him out of you. I also want to know how this”—she traced the skin over my scent gland with her index finger—“became visible. I mean, it’s obvious that you chose him as your mate, but what are you planning to do about it? Ah, Levi, there is so much to talk about.”

            I slapped my hand over my neck. “Shit. I forgot all about this. Did the others see it?”

            “‘Course not. They were intimidated by your boy. He was giving off some mean vibes back there.”

            I couldn’t deal with this right now. “Isabel, listen, I’m exhausted. I know you’re curious about all this, but I can’t talk about it right now. We’ll talk tomorrow at breakfast.”

            She pouted. “Fine. Just so you know, though, he’s hot and I approve of him one hundred percent.”

            “Go away,” I said, shoving her.

            “He is.” She dodged me, and then rushed off in the opposite direction. When she was far enough away that I couldn’t push her, she said, “No one may have noticed your scent gland, but they did notice that Eren smelt like you, and that you smelt like him. We have tons to talk about tomorrow at breakfast. TONS!” She left and I cursed this entire day. I didn’t know how to do this. I never _planned_ on doing this.

            Fuck. I needed to go to sleep and forget about everything for a few hours.

            Pulling up the collar of my shirt, I sped to my room. I needed to figure out a way to inconspicuously hide my neck from here on out. If Erwin saw my scent gland, there would be hell to pay. This wasn’t something I was supposed to keep from him. I was the captain of the squad that went out on dangerous missions. If he knew that I had chosen a mate without letting them mark me, he would no doubt pull me from my position, because this could change my behavior at any given moment. And a change of behavior could lead to trouble, not only for me, but my team. God, what was I doing? Was I willing to risk their lives for my own selfish needs?

            Once I reached my room, I scanned my badge and quickly punched in my four-digit code. When the light on the access control machine turned green, I threw the door open and went inside, relieved that I was alone at last. My whole world felt like it had been knocked on its side. I didn’t want to be around anyone right now.

            I walked through the dark room until I was standing in front of my floor lamp. I flicked it on and sat back on my bed, my hand pressed to my neck, where I could feel the thudding of my scent gland beneath my palm. I knew what it looked like. I’d seen Isabel’s on a daily basis, but still I found myself leaning forward to inspect my reflection in the vanity stand mirror I kept on my bedside table. I removed my hand and there, in the hollow of my neck, was my scent gland. It looked like a prominent vein just beneath the surface of my skin, nothing big, nothing major, but it changed everything.

            I stared at it for a long time. Long enough for Eren to fetch me dinner, because the next thing I knew, someone was knocking on my door. Startled, I jerked back. Then I stood up and went to answer it.

            “Who is it?” I called, just in case it wasn’t him. If it was Erwin, I would need to do something about my neck.

            “It’s Eren.”

            I sighed in relief and opened the door. “Did anyone ask you any questions?”

            “No.” He held out a tray that held a plate full of rice, two Japanese eggrolls, a chicken breast, apple slices, and, on the side, a bottle of cashew milk.

            “How in the world did you get all that?” I asked, astonished. Normally I ended up with a measly salad for dinner.

            “I told you I can be persuasive when I really want something. Where should I put this?”

            “I’ll take it,” I said, grabbing the tray from him. “Uh, thank you. I appreciate it.”

            “Any time.” He reached out and stroked the side of my face, his eyes softening. “I’ll let you eat.”

            “Wait. You’re not eating with me?” I asked. Then I realized what I said and I dropped my eyes, my cheeks warming. I _hated_ that.

            “I didn’t think you would want me to, and I didn’t want to force you into anything. But I’ll be more than happy to stay.”

            “But you didn’t bring your dinner.”

            “I don’t have to eat. I’m good.”

            I peeked up at him before I dropped my eyes again. “Well, you could always share with me. I won’t be able to eat all this on my own.” Why did I want him to stay with me so badly?

            “That sounds good to me,” Eren said.

            Without responding, I turned around and walked to a small table I kept in one corner of the room. I set the tray down on it and then pulled up a chair. When he sat in the chair beside mine, I swallowed hard. I was nervous.

            “Have you thought of any ground rules for me?” he asked. I shook my head. “Can I ask what’s okay to do, and what’s not okay?”

            “Sure.”

            “Can I do this?” He reached down and took my hand, twining his fingers in mine.  

            I finally looked at him. He gazed at me as though I were something precious, irreplaceable. “Th-that’s okay, I guess.”

            So, while our twined fingers rested on the top of his thigh, we ate our dinner, which was hard with one hand, but none of us seemed to mind.

            I knew, as he rubbed my thumb with his, that I was falling for him. Hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter how many times I write these two falling for each other, I cannot stop the feelings from drowning me. Ereri, man. It's too beautiful.  
> So, I usually like to provide visuals on how I imagine my babes, and this fic is no different. This is how I imagine my Eren --> [(x)](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgZCSmbUYAAJSk4.jpg) Gorgeous, right? Rasu is my favorite artist and her Eren slays me. As does her Levi. GDI. 
> 
> Anywho, thank you very much for reading, commenting, and subscribing to this fic. It's always much appreciated. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had the worst writer's block for the last few days. I blame Microsoft Word. It deleted my other fic off my computer, and I've been stressing about updates ever since. R.I.P., but I do hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Thank you, always, for reading and commenting. <3

There weren’t a lot of things that could get me into Hanji’s lab—with it smelling of sulfuric acid, I stayed as far away from it as possible—but her conducting various experiments on Eren was enough motivation to deal with the stench for an extended period of time. Although I didn’t have to be here for any of this, I wasn’t about to trust Eren alone with a crazed scientist that always took her experiments too far, whether it put someone in danger or not. Therefore, I was going to oversee everything she planned to do this morning, so I could make sure that none of her deranged antics would result in severe injuries. To put it simply, today was going to be a long day.

            After Hanji parked Eren in a banquet chair that Mike had pushed up against the far wall of the room, she took out her trusty digital voice recorder from her front pocket. She pushed the REC button and held it close to her mouth as she said, “The time is 0800 hours on November 4th, 2015. Case number is two-five-zero-one. Subject is a Caucasian male named Eren Jaeger. His birthdate is March 30th, 1990, and his current status is that of an S-ranked alpha, but I believe his ranking should be SS.” She retrieved a scalpel from on top of a medical tray. “For this first procedure, I will be making a small incision in his brachioradialis muscle on his right forearm and timing how long it takes him to heal it.” She stopped recording.

            “Have you given your consent to this, Eren?” I asked before she could even think about digging that scalpel into his skin.

            Eren glanced up at me with a calm expression. His hair was still wet from his shower, and the dark strands that lay against his forehead accentuated his green eyes. Looking at him made something in my chest pinch. “Yes. Erwin told me this was necessary to go on the upcoming mission with your team. If this is required of me in order to go with you, then I’ll do it.”

            Of course Erwin said something like that. He spouted out anything that involved me, because he knew that would get Eren to agree without question.

            “Can I proceed?” Hanji asked, regarding me with a look of exasperation.

            I shrugged. “If he gave his consent, then go right ahead.”

            “All right, Eren,” Hanji began in excitement, “as soon as I make the incision, focus on self-healing that area. Understand?” He nodded. She turned her attention to Mike after that. “Start the stopwatch at the same time.” Without waiting for a response, she brought the blade down and cut along his forearm with a deft precision that could only be acquired with years of practice. As soon as she stopped and pulled the blade away, the wound began to heal instantaneously. Within seconds, the skin was smooth and flawless. “How many seconds was that, Mike?”

            “Four point thirty-six.”

            Bringing the voice recorder back up with a hand that shook, she pressed the REC button once more and nearly shouted, “Subject was able to heal a four-inch incision within four point thirty-six seconds. These results are unheard of. He’s able to regenerate tissue in milliseconds. At this rate, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was capable of healing a broken bone within hours. I’ll have to test this theory out on another day.” She clicked off the recorder.

            “You’re not breaking any of his bones,” I said at once, angry that she would even consider it. “Now or ever.”

            She ignored me. “Eren, the next incision will be deeper, but the same thing applies. Begin to heal it the moment I’m done. Is that clear?”

            “Yes.”

            I gritted my teeth, but said nothing when she pressed the tip of the scalpel to his forearm. This time around, I dropped my eyes, but when I heard Mike click the stopwatch, I looked up again. Although this gash was far worse than the first, Eren healed it just as quick, the muscle in his arm stitching together as tendrils of steam rose up from where the laceration had been seconds ago. It amazed me how he was able to do that so quickly. I’d never seen another alpha heal a wound that fast, even with their ability to self-heal. This wasn’t good. If Erwin found out about this, he would use it to his advantage, and that could only lead to Eren being put in a dangerous position on his first mission out.

            “Time?” Hanji asked, her eyes wide with excitement.

            Mike stared down at the stopwatch he held. “Five point fifty-eight seconds.”

            “Unbelievable,” she said, fumbling with the recorder before she managed to raise it to her lips. “Subject healed a six-inch incision that was deep enough to sever the muscle in five point fifty-eight seconds.” She grabbed Eren’s wrist and brought his arm up to eye level to inspect it at every angle. “There appears to be no sign of the incision. The skin has completely healed over. Not even a scar remains.” She shut off the recorder and turned to Mike. “Call Erwin. I need authority to break one of Eren’s arms. Tell him it’s vital to my research, that—”

            “Not happening,” I snapped, interrupting her without any misgivings. Before she could argue with me, I grabbed Eren’s hand and pulled him to a stand. “You can’t break his arm. We have important training today that I won’t let you interfere with.” If I were to be honest with myself, I would admit that I couldn’t care less about the training. It was the thought of Hanji breaking his arm that caused me to speak out. I wasn’t about to let her do that when it wasn’t even guaranteed that Eren would be able to heal it in hours. For all she knew, he could be walking around with a broken arm for weeks for no reason other than to appease her thirst for research.

            Hanji held up her hands in a _hold on a minute_ gesture. “You’re right. I was getting way ahead of myself. If you’re not comfortable with me doing that to your alpha, then we’ll move on to testing his reflexes.”

            I crossed my arms. “He’s not my alpha.”

            “You can say that all you want,” she said, “but you chose him as your mate. And judging from how he smells of you, I’d say you want to keep him to yourself. Actually, that happens to interest me quite a bit.” She looked at Eren. “Was it hard to let Levi scent mark you? According to other alphas, it’s not something they would ever let an omega do, because it puts them in a compromising position. When I asked some of them to let an omega do it—for research purposes—they refused.”

            I rolled my eyes at that. So omegas were the only ones allowed to be put in a compromising position? To be marked as theirs?

            Eren rubbed at his neck and I was surprised to see a blush coloring his cheeks. “Uh, it wasn’t hard to let him scent mark me. It was rather easy.”

            “Interesting. How did it make you feel?” Hanji persisted, grabbing a notepad she kept at the ready. She pushed the clip on her retractable pen and waited for his response.

            “Well,” he said, glancing at me for a brief moment before he returned his gaze to her, “it felt…good. I liked that he was claiming me for his own.”

            “Can you tell me why?”

            “Hanji,” Mike warned, but I was quick to wave him off. I was just as curious about this as she was, although for different reasons.

            Eren looked down at his hands, which were on his lap. “When Levi scent marked me, I felt like he finally saw the person that I am, and not the alpha I was born as. I felt close to him for the first time since I met him. And that made me very happy, because for a moment, it blurred out the distinct line between an alpha and an omega. Right then, it was just Levi and Eren. Man to man. Nothing more, nothing less.”

            Hanji jotted this all down at the speed of light, not even bothering to look down at her notepad as she did so. When her eyes flicked over to my face, I expected her to question me next, but instead she said, “If you don’t take this alpha off the market, I’m going to hold a grudge against you for the rest of my life. Surely you see that he’s perfect for you.”

            I opened my mouth to come to my defense, but no words came to mind. I was utterly speechless. I realized then that there was still a part of me that hoped Eren would slip up and give me a reason to hate him, but he kept doing the exact opposite. With every word that passed his lips, with every action he carried out, I became more enraptured by him. This alpha never failed to surprise me, and he wasn’t even doing anything extraordinary. He was just being himself.

            How I ached for him.

            “Can we just move on with your experiments? We’re on a time crunch,” I muttered, taking the cowardly way out of this. I didn’t want her to know how fast my heart was beating. How, whenever I looked at Eren, an emotion I’d never felt before washed through me. This was more than an omega being attracted to an alpha. This was so much stronger, pulling at me until I was forced to see that I had feelings for him.

            When Hanji went about setting up an area where she could test Eren’s reflexes, I stepped out of the lab to clear my head. The next few weeks would be busy ones. They always were when we were preparing to go outside the walls. Now was not the time to get distracted. I couldn’t afford that, because there were people depending on me. If I got sidetracked at a time like this, I could make a fatal mistake out on the field that could result in lives lost. Yet, despite knowing this, all I could think about was Eren. He was a part of my team now. The second we stepped foot in human territory, he was my responsibility, and he was the one person I could not lose.

            There was no denying it. He was far more important to me than people I’d known for years, and I couldn’t understand why. But I knew I would protect him, no matter the consequences.

            By the time Hanji was done with her tests, it was noon. Since she took her sweet time, we had missed both breakfast and lunch, and there wasn’t enough time to stop by the cafeteria before we needed to be at the training area. Today we were scheduled to work on hand-to-hand combat, which I was sure Eren would pick up right away, if yesterday was anything to go by.

            “Could I talk to you for a few minutes?” Hanji asked when she came out of the lab holding a clipboard, pen at the ready.

            “No,” I said, eyeing Eren as he stepped out behind her. Once he was in my line of sight, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. “You already wasted enough of our time.”

            “It’s about your scent gland, which I think is something we should discuss.”

            Today I was wearing a black button down that covered that area of my neck. “What should we discuss about it?”

            She sighed. “You’re going to have to come up with an explanation as to why you smell like Eren. Do you think Erwin won’t notice that when he sees you today? You and I both know that he will, and if he suspects anything, the first thing he’s going to check is your neck.”

            “I’ll come up with something,” I told her. “Don’t worry.”

            “Be careful, Levi. There are alphas at this sanctuary that will act on instinct, if they find out about your scent gland being visible. And if anything happens to you, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

            Eren growled in the back of his throat, a sound that spoke to me on a deeper level than words ever could. “I won’t let anyone touch him.”

            Hanji smacked him on the shoulder with a huge smile on her face. “I’m counting on that, and no other alpha matches your strength, so you’ll be able to take them out with no problem.” She dug around in her pocket and produced two granola bars that she handed to us like we were children. “Take these, since I kept you from breakfast.”

            “And lunch,” I added, taking the granola bar.

            Eren took his and held it out to me. “Here. You’re probably hungrier than I am.”

            “I wasn’t the one being cut and dragged around for the past five hours,” I said, pushing the granola bar back towards him. “Eat it. We have to get going, so don’t argue with me.”

            “You guys are too cute.” Hanji grinned from ear to ear. “Oh, and don’t worry about Mike knowing about your scent gland, Levi. He’s good at keeping secrets.”

            “I wasn’t worried,” I said. Mike would never report me to Erwin. Not after I kept his secret about Nanaba for years.

            We left and made our way down the vast corridor that led out of Hanji’s lab. While we walked in comfortable silence, I peeled open the wrapper of my granola bar and started nibbling on it. As Eren did the same, an odd expression contorting his face, I noticed that his right arm was twitching the slightest bit. Alarm shot through me like an arrow.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked, panic making my voice louder than I intended it to be.

            “Huh?” He followed my gaze. “Oh, that. When I heal several times in a row, the area I healed spasms. It’ll go away in a couple of hours.”

            “Does it hurt?”

            “It can, but this isn’t too bad.”

            “I thought she only made you heal twice? How did this happen?”

            He took a bite out of his granola bar, seemingly relaxed while I was anxious. “She cut me a few more times after you left. The last one was down to the bone.”

            “That sneaky bitch. Shit. I shouldn’t have left you alone with her. I’m sorry. I know how she can be, yet I waltz right out and left her to her own devices. It won’t happen again.”

            “It’s not a big deal. I’m okay.”

            “It’s a big deal to me.” What was I saying?

            He looked over at me and stayed quiet long enough to make me uneasy. Then he said, “Want to make it up to me?”

            I was wary immediately. “How?”

            “Like this.” He tucked the granola bar into the back pocket of his jeans before he reached out and took my hand, interlacing his fingers through mine. He brought our laced fingers to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Is it okay if I hold your hand until we get upstairs?”

            “Why do you want that? You know that I won’t let you mark me, so what are you gaining from this?”

            “There’s more to a relationship than marking.”

            “Relationship?” I whispered, shocked. “We’re not…”

            “I know that, but I would like to be.”

            “Even if I don’t let you mark me?”

            He smiled and squeezed my hand. “Yes.”

 

\---

 

Erwin was waiting for us at the training area. He paused for a moment when we walked in, nose crinkling, and then he smiled casually as he regarded us with warm eyes. I knew that he had smelt Eren on my skin, but he wasn’t about to discuss it here in front of everyone. It was important that I kept my self-image up for my team. He knew that better than anyone, because if they began to doubt me, then they would no longer trust my orders. That wouldn’t do out on the field.

            “Eren,” he boomed, spreading his arms out wide, “how are you liking Sanctuary Recon so far?”

            Eren’s eyes flicked in my direction, a small grin lifting the corners of his mouth. “I like it more than I thought I would.”

            “That’s good to hear, considering Levi has given you a long-term spot on his team. That’s hard to come by, you know. Many other men have asked for the position you have acquired, but Captain Levi wouldn’t hear it. Isn’t that right?”

            I clicked my tongue. “It’s a given that I would choose Eren for the seventh member of my team. He’s a lot stronger than anyone else here, and that’s including your sorry ass. Now if you’re done with your jabbering, how about we get some training done. I didn’t come here to talk about the weather.”

            “Of course you didn’t,” Erwin said in amusement, turning around to lead us up the cement ramp that would give way to the room we trained in. “I’m going to stick around for the whole session, if you don’t mind. I’d like to see Eren in action.”

            “Do whatever you want.”

            Everyone went silent when the three of us strolled into the room, but I didn’t linger to catch their reactions. It wasn’t often that Erwin graced us with his presence. Of course it should’ve occurred to me that he would want to be here for this. He’d want to see what Eren could do first hand, that way he would better know how to apply it beyond the walls that protected us. This whole thing made me uneasy, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Erwin ran this place. What he said was law.

            When I managed to make it passed everyone, Eren right on my tail, I pushed open the locker room door and was glad to be alone for a few minutes.

            “I had Isabel get you some clothes to train in earlier,” I said. “It won’t be anything fancy, but it’ll do.” I reached my locker and put in the combination code. Once I slid the padlock off, I yanked the door open and scooped up the clothes that had been set on top of mine. I turned around and handed them to him.

            “Should I change in here?” he asked, skeptical.

            “Knock yourself out.” I faced away from him and began to unbutton my shirt. This was another test, maybe one I shouldn’t be putting him through, but I had to know how far his self-control went. Most alphas wouldn’t be able to keep their hands to themselves while a willing omega undressed before them. So, would Eren remain in control while I stood here in nothing but my boxer-briefs? I was going to find out soon enough.

            I pushed the waistband of my jeans over my hips and tugged the pant legs off my feet. While I folded them, I gave a quick glance in Eren’s direction. He was standing farther away from me now, teeth clenched together hard enough to make his jawline pronounced, but he was still getting dressed, although his movements were jerky and uncoordinated. Not wanting to put him through anymore, I quickly put on my own basketball shorts and white T-shirt.

            Eren turned to me, breathing hard. “Why did you do that?”

            “Earlier you said that you wanted to be in a relationship with me. I don’t know if that will be possible. The temptation to mark me for your own will always be there, so I wanted to see if you could remain in control.”

            “Why?”

            “Can’t you guess?” I whispered.

            “I want to hear you say it.”

            I made eye contact with him, my hands clenched by my sides. “If you show me that you can be around me without giving into your instincts to mark me, then…”

            “Then?” he prompted when I didn’t go on, his eyes alight with an emotion I couldn’t identify. No, not couldn’t. I didn’t want to put a name to the emotion, because I knew what it was.

            I swallowed. “Then I want to try to be with you.”

            My world, my entire life, narrowed down to this moment.

            Before I could say anything more, Eren stepped up to me and grabbed both my hands in his. He turned his head and his breath whispered across my skin, raising goosebumps. “I told you that I would prove myself to you. That I didn’t care how long it took.” He pressed his forehead to mine. I shut my eyes and let myself feel everything for the first time. “I’ll show you that I’m stronger than my instincts, Levi. I promise.”     


	7. Chapter 7

This wasn’t how I’d imagined accepting your mate would feel like, but I never wanted it to stop. I wanted Eren to keep on touching me as though I were something dear to him, something he could never replace, no matter how much time passed. The places where his skin brushed against mine tingled with warmth that sent tremors down my spine. My entire body burned for his touch, my instincts surging up to make my lips part on a whine that was full of desperation. I needed my alpha to touch me in all the places that ached. So when his hands shot up to cup my face, I stood on tiptoes to rub our throats together almost violently, my need to claim him for my own causing me to behave in a reckless manner.

         _Mine._ He was mine. No one else’s.

         Eren groaned deep in his throat as our scents mingled together and perfumed the air around us. It was such a heady scent, because it was us coming together, alpha to omega. Mate to mate.

         His hands came to rest on my waist, and he lifted me up so that I was at eye level with him as he pressed my back against the locker behind me. When he leaned forward, lips skimming over my scent gland in a soft caress, fear paralyzed me. “Shh,” he soothed, breath hot on my sensitive skin. “I’m not going to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. This is one of the ways I’m going to show you that I’m stronger than my instincts. I want you to come to understand that no matter how strong the urge to mark you is, I won’t ever give in.” He kissed my neck, pain tainting his scent. “One day I hope you can trust me completely.”

         “You’re in pain,” I said.

         “Don’t think anything of it. The alpha in me doesn’t understand why you’re submitting, but not letting me mark you.” He looked me in the eye, thumb brushing over my lips. “But _I_ understand, the part of me that isn’t ruled by instincts, and I respect your decision.”

         Overwhelmed with an emotion I couldn’t identify, I hugged him closer to me and buried my face against his neck. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be a good mate for you,” I confessed in a whisper, the words causing a mixture of fear and anxiety to settle in the pit of my stomach. “I’ve been holding onto this hatred for so long that I’m not sure who I am without it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop looking for a reason to hate you. But, despite all of that, I can’t give you up. I want you to be mine, even if I can’t be yours.” I bit down on my lip in an attempt to keep the rest in, but it spilled out of me anyway. “I know that’s selfish. I know it is, but that’s what I want.”

         “Hey, it’s okay.” He ran his fingers through my hair, turning his head so he could press his lips to my ear as he whispered, “You’re the only person I’ve ever submitted to. I’m already yours, Levi. I’ve been yours since I saw you in the confinement chamber on the day I was brought here. I don’t want anyone else.”

         “How could you know that? It’s not like there are a lot of unmarked omegas here to choose from. It’s just me.”

         “You don’t think I came along unmarked omegas while I was out in human territory? I did. None of them appealed to me. They were all the same, willing to hand themselves over like they were nothing more than objects to possess. I don’t want someone like that.”

         I opened my mouth to question him further, but someone knocked on the door, startling me into silence.

         “Uh, I hate to interrupt, but we’re ready to begin training, Captain Levi,” Petra shouted. She hadn’t opened the door and that didn’t surprise me. The scent of alpha was overpowering in here. No doubt her instincts were telling her to steer clear of this area until Eren wasn’t so worked up.

         “Shit,” I hissed under my breath. Then louder, so I could be heard, “I’ll be there in a minute!”

         “All right, sir. I’ll tell the others.”

         Before I could head out there for training, I needed to calm down, so I stepped back from Eren and willed my heartbeat to slow to a normal rate. Even if I managed that, it would do nothing to rid me of the scent of raw desire that was coming off my skin in waves. I couldn’t go out there this way. “Fuck,” I muttered. “I can’t train my team while smelling like this.”

         Without warning, Eren’s scent began to change into something menacing and cruel. My eyes shot up to his in confusion and there was viciousness in his gaze that put me on edge instantly. My instincts screamed _threat_ , and I was seconds away from putting up my guard against him, but he quickly held his hands up in a compliant gesture. He asked, “Better?”

         “What the hell do you mean? Why…?” I trailed off, because I realized that my scent had changed along with his. The desire had been replaced with caution. “Never mind. I understand why you did that. Thank you.” I turned my back to him. “That’s a bit creepy how you can just up and change your scent like that. I didn’t think that was possible.”

         “I’ve been in human territory since the purge began. I had to learn how to trigger my emotions at will. If I saw a human that was ready to attack, I forced myself to block my emotions with rage in order to take them out without guilt stopping me. I was nothing but a college student when they wiped out my family six years ago. I’d never hurt anyone before then, so there were things about myself that I needed to change if I wanted to survive out there on my own.”

         I clenched my fists at my sides. How many of us had turned into monsters because of the humans backing us into a corner like we were nothing but rabid animals? Did they not realize that, even though we were different from them, we had the same human emotions? The only difference was we also had instincts.

         “Let’s get out there before Petra comes back,” I said, looking up at him. _I won’t let another human lay a finger on you, Eren. That’s my promise to you._  

         As we walked out into the training room, everyone eyed us. I ignored them and strode to the front of the room. Normally I got right down to training, but seeing as Erwin was here, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get away with that. He would expect me to give a pep talk. I sighed.

         “In three weeks’ time, we will once again be leaving the safety of the sanctuary,” I began, scanning the faces of my team. Seeing that I had their attention, I went on, “Every second we spend out there, we are in grave danger. If humans detect that you have the blood of an alpha, beta, or omega, they will show you no mercy. They will kill you on the spot. It’s because of their ruthlessness that we’ve been forced into hiding, but even living here in safety comes with a price.” I looked at Eren for a moment before I dropped my eyes. “The people standing here before me have volunteered to go out on dangerous missions to supply the residents here at Sanctuary Recon with the things they need to live. That’s why it’s important that each and every one of you takes these training sessions seriously. Is that understood?”

         Everyone but Eren saluted and shouted, “Yes, sir! Understood!”

         I raised an eyebrow. “Hey, new guy, aren’t you going to salute your captain?”

         With a crooked smile, Eren saluted me. “Yes, sir.”

         “Good,” I said, returning my gaze to the others as my heart pounded hard in my chest. “I’m going to put you into pairs for today’s hand-to-hand combat training. Auruo, Erd, Gunther, take turns training between each other. Petra and Isabel, pair up. Farlan, you’re with Eren today.”

         Farlan turned toward Eren and held his hand out. “We’re on the same team, so let’s train hard, and push aside our instincts for our sessions. What do you say?”

         “All right,” Eren said, taking his hand and giving it a shake.

         I didn’t think Eren would have any trouble pushing aside his instincts for the next couple of hours while we trained, but I could understand why Farlan would want to lay that down before fists were flying. Generally, alphas were aggressive and yearned to prove their strength, especially when confronted by another alpha when an unmarked omega was present. If this were anyone other than Eren, I wouldn’t have paired him with Farlan. But I knew that he could handle himself, and Farlan was the only member of my team that could somewhat equal him in strength.

         “Ready?” I questioned.

         Farlan nodded, and Eren said, “Yeah.”

         “Eren, have you ever had any training in physical combat before today?” I asked.

         “No, no training. But I have fought before.”

         “This training is done to hone your physical skills, as well as prepare you for unforeseen oncoming attacks. Since you’ve been out there on your own, I’m assuming that you know of their weapons.”

         Eren snarled. “I do.”

         “They’ve created all types of weapons that could render alphas, our strongest players, useless in a matter of seconds. I could name some of the ways they’ve used alphas against us, but we’ve seen it for ourselves. There’s no point in wasting time restating what we already know.” I crossed my arms. “Alphas are the strongest among our kind, so the hardest duties will be given to the both of you by default. You’ll be up against these weapons, even when they were created specifically for you and every other alpha that crosses their path. That’s why you must train the hardest.”

         Farlan glanced at Isabel, who was sparring with Petra. “I’ll train as hard as I have to.”

         Eren kept his eyes on me as he said, “Same here.”

         “Then let’s get started.” I motioned for them to stand facing each other. Once they were in position, I added, “Remember, this is sparring. You will not intentionally try to hurt one another. Okay? Don’t make me break you guys apart.”

         “I hear you loud and clear.” Farlan slipped into a fighting stance.

         Eren mimicked his movements and asked, “Are kicks allowed?”

         “They are,” Erwin answered as he came to stand next to me with his hands clasped behind his back. “I look forward to seeing what you can do, Eren.”

         Eren simply nodded his head once in response.

         “Keep it clean,” I said, and signaled for them to start.

         They crouched lower as they began circling each other, eyes vivid with animalistic hunger that set them apart from the rest of us. The scent coming off of them was feral, a toxic combination of warning and hostility. _Keep away, or I’ll attack._ Suddenly Eren darted forward, as quick as a whip, and landed a kick on the side of his opponent’s face. He didn’t give Farlan time to recover from the hit, moving forward once again to punch him in the side. None of the blows were hard enough to cause much damage, but there was still enough force behind them to make Farlan lose his footing and stagger to the side.

         “Fuck,” Farlan hissed as he regained his balance. “You’re impossibly fast.” Instead of looking alarmed by this, he looked excited and determined. Of course he did. It would be a great achievement if he managed to knock this alpha down. His instincts were rising to the surface. “Come on, then. Let’s get serious.”

         Eren grinned right before he brought his arms up to block a kick aimed at the side of his face. He didn’t even budge with the impact. “You’re going to have to be faster than that.”

         “Impressive,” Erwin said, low enough that I knew he was speaking for my ears only.

         I glanced up at him. “Were you expecting any less from an alpha as powerful as him? Don’t act like you didn’t know he possessed this kind of strength.”

         “Oh, I knew. I just wasn’t expecting him to be this fast on top of that. Most alphas are big in size, so they tend to be…sluggish.”

         “Not this one,” I said, fighting back the urge to add, _Don’t compare my alpha to any other._

Erwin chuckled. “So I see.” He gave me a sidelong glance. “He smells of you. Care explaining that to me?”

         My body tensed up, my breath catching in my throat. It took me several seconds to compose myself, but I knew that it wasn’t fast enough. Erwin had seen me falter at his words, which meant I had to make my excuse twice as believable. But what could I tell him?

         I shrugged, attempting to appear uninterested in the whole thing. “It means nothing.”

         “An alpha lets you scent mark him, and it means nothing? Come now, Levi. You know I don’t believe that for a second. You’re interested in him.”

         “And so what if I am?”

         “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s good that you’re finally taking interest in an alpha. That will allow you to stop taking suppressants, which in turn will keep you from enduring more damage caused by them.”

         I gritted my teeth, a sound that caused Eren’s head to whip in my direction. Even distracted, he was able to block a punch from Farlan. Not wanting to cause a scene, I breathed out and said, “I’m still going to be taking the suppressants.”

         “Come again?” Erwin turned toward me. I had his full attention now. “You mean to tell me that that alpha willingly let you scent mark him without the promise of mating?”

         “I’m not his mate,” I lied.

         “With how stubborn you are, that doesn’t surprise me any. So you’re interested in him, but haven’t accepted him as a mate?” He shook his head. “How long do you think he’ll put up with that?”

         “Why does it matter to you?”

         He turned away from me. “I suppose it doesn’t matter for now. If you haven’t accepted him, then there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. But you should know that he won’t wait around for you forever. An alpha is born with the need to mark and claim. They can’t help it. It’s their nature.”

         It took everything I had not to tell him that Eren wasn’t like any other alpha we’d come across. That he didn’t want to own me like some inanimate object whose sole purpose was to please him. Yet, even with the words on the tip of my tongue, I remained quiet, because Erwin’s words had planted a seed of doubt that hadn’t been there a minute ago. What if one day Eren did decide that he would prefer an omega that would let him mark them? That would be better for him, of course, but would I be able to let him go that easily?

         I shook my head in hopes of clearing my head. I wouldn’t worry about that now. “You act like I’m looking for a long term relationship. I have too much stuff on my plate to think about any of that stuff.”

         “That’s understandable,” Erwin said, but there was something in his tone that told me that it wasn’t. “I just thought I would give you a heads up. I wouldn’t want you to lose him before you even have him.”

         Irritated with his choice of words, I returned my attention to the two alphas sparring in front of me. There was a deep cut above Farlan’s right eyebrow, but Eren didn’t have a single scratch on him. “How are you holding up?” I asked, proud of my— _Is he actually mine?_ —alpha.

         Farlan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Fine. Although I can’t keep up with Eren at all.”

         “Are you even trying?” Erwin asked.

         “Of course I am,” Farlan said through clenched teeth.

         Erwin jerked his chin at Eren. “I was talking to him.”

         Eren eyes flicked from Erwin to Farlan, and then to me. “Um, well…”

         “He’s not.” Farlan stood up straight and swiped at the cut that was seeping blood with his thumb. “I can tell that he’s holding back quite a bit. Even so, I can’t keep up with his movements. He’s too fast and efficient. He can predict my every move.” He laughed. “That’s an S-ranked alpha for you. He’ll be a great asset to our team.”

         “That he will,” Erwin said.

         “Can they get back to training now?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed, but my voice held nothing but worry.

         “Of course. I’ll get out of your hair. Keep up the good work, Levi.”

         I waited until Erwin was across the room to relax some. Now that he was aware that I was interested in Eren, he would keep track of us. I knew that it would come down to this, but I didn’t know how long I would be able to hide just how interested in this alpha I really was. If Erwin figured it out, he would check to see if my scent gland was visible, which it was.

         “Are you okay?” Eren asked, stepping up to me, but keeping a good distance between us. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms.

         “I’m fine. Let’s get back to training.”

 

\---

 

That night, as I lay in bed, I thought about my mother. Twenty years ago, I made her a promise while she was dying from wounds that her mate had given her. I was six years old when I watched her die at my feet, the life draining from her eyes. The only thing I had left of her was that promise, and I’d held onto it like a life line. I let it lead me forward, let it shape and mold me into the person I was today. Could I even let Eren in when everything told me that I couldn’t?

         I rolled onto my side and stared at the digital alarm clock on my bedside table. It was two in the morning and I had no hopes of falling asleep. There was a persistent ache in my chest that only a certain alpha could sooth. I wanted to be with him, even when I knew I would be tempting fate if I pushed him too far. How could I be close to him and not let him mark me?

         Kicking off the blanket, the fabric itchy on my hyper sensitive skin, I sat up and swung my legs over the side.

         _Eren…_

Although I knew I was asking for trouble, I left my room and ignored all the rules. I crept down dark corridors, hoping no one would hear me and check to see what it was. No one was allowed out after lights out, but I needed to see Eren, smell him, have his scent on my skin. I ached for him so much.

         When I made it to his apartment, I pressed my forehead against the door, the wood cool against my overheated skin. As I stood there, desperate, I contemplated going back to my room without knocking. If I went in there now, I would be testing his control. It wouldn’t be fair for him to have to put up with my scent, which indicated just how much I wanted him. It would be painful for him to resist, and if he caved in, I would be the one to blame.

         I stepped back and turned away. I had made it halfway down the corridor when I heard a door swing open, followed with, “Levi?”

         I whirled around. Eren was standing outside of his apartment, hand clenched to his chest. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I just… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”

         “Why did you come?”

         “Because it hurts. It hurts so much to be away from you.”

         Crossing the distance between us, Eren pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest. “Come inside.”

         I shook my head. “It’s not fair to you for me to do that. I don’t deserve to be comforted when I’m making you hurt just as much.”

         Slightly bending, he slid his arm behind the back of my knees and picked me up in one fell swoop. He turned around and went back the way he came. I didn’t protest, just pressed my face to his neck, taking in his scent. It comforted me on the spot.

         As he entered his apartment, he said, “I’ll take the couch tonight.”

         Feeling shy, I grabbed a handful of the front of his shirt and hid my face from view as I asked in a hushed whisper, “C-could you sleep with me, if that’s not too much for you?”

         He answered me by carrying me into his bedroom, where he eased me down onto his bed and laid down next to me.

         “Don’t be afraid to tell me what you want,” Eren said, cupping the side of my face. “I’ll give you anything.”

         I hugged him to me.

         This was home, right here with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll always be super fluffy and cheesy, but that's the best (in my opinion). I love loving relationships. IT'S HOW I DO.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. I appreciate it so much. You have no idea. <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a miracle that I even managed to finish this chapter within a week (I would've updated yesterday, but it was my birthday, so I was rather busy). I've been feeling sick and blah lately, but here we are! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. :)

Bundled up in Eren’s arms, our scents interwoven under the thick blanket that covered us, I didn’t want to move an inch. I wanted to stay just like this, with our bodies pressed together in a secret that no one but the two of us would know. As I looked at him in the darkness of his room, I knew that I had been altered somehow. The hatred I wanted to feel towards him wouldn’t take, no matter how much I wanted it to. In its place was unconditional tenderness that tugged at my heart. I wanted to protect him from any harm that may come his way. I wanted him to be happy.

         Moving closer to him in such a way that wouldn’t disturb his arm around my waist, I swept back the hair that tumbled onto his forehead to gaze at him without worrying about him reacting to my touch. In sleep, his face was made serene, every muscle relaxed under the blue glow coming from the digital clock behind me on the nightstand. He was so gorgeous. The tight knot that had formed in my stomach while looking at him had nothing to do with instincts. Even if I were human, and not an omega, I would be attracted to this alpha.

         “You’re mine,” I whispered, testing out the words. I liked the way they sounded, although I didn’t know how long they would remain true. If Erwin was right, then one day Eren would tire of me not letting him mark me. He would leave and find an omega that was willing to let him claim them in every way. The thought angered me. I didn’t want another omega anywhere near him. “You’re mine,” I said again, pushing my face into his neck to suck at the skin over his scent gland. I wanted to leave physical evidence behind, something everyone could see, but who was I trying to convince? Everyone else? Or myself?

         As I sucked harshly on his neck, Eren began to stir, little noises rising from his throat. I needed to pull away before he could rouse completely, but when his hands slid under my shirt, palms hot against my skin, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I needed him to touch me. My body craved this alpha in every possible way.

         _My alpha. My alpha. Need your hands on me._

         Eren nosed his way to my neck and I heard him groan right before his lips were on my scent gland. I felt his teeth graze over the sensitive skin there, but I didn’t push him away. It felt too good to have his mouth on me, to have his hands pulling me closer to him. Our bodies slid against each other’s as he licked and mouthed at my throat in a frenzy that caused me to reach up, frantic with desire, and tangle my fingers in his hair. His hot breath rushed over my skin in response, yanking an incoherent sound from me that in turn drew a growl from him. An alpha answering his omega.

         He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

         “Please,” I pleaded, unable to recognize my own voice. It was high and gravelly.

         Within a matter of seconds, everything changed. Eren flung himself back, scrambling onto the floor, where he fell to his knees and looked at me with such fear in his eyes that I knew he had been doing all of that unconsciously. He had woken up when I’d said something.

         “I’m so sorry,” he said, his scent changing as he spoke the words. He was submitting. Showing me that he wasn’t a threat to me in any way. “I don’t know what happened… I didn’t mean to do that.” He looked at me, imploring me to say something. “Levi?”

         “It’s me who should be apologizing to you. I caused this.”

         He shook his head. “No, I should’ve been able to control myself—”

         “Eren,” I interrupted, “you were asleep and I practically attacked you. You’re not at fault.”

         His brows furrowed in confusion. “You attacked me?”

         “Feel your neck.”

         Slowly, he reached up and ran his fingers over his scent gland, touching the tender skin. His eyes flicked back up to mine. “You were awake when you did this?”

         “No, I was deeply asleep. Yes, I was awake! Do you want me to spell it out for you?” I pressed my lips together to shut myself up. I was resorting to childish behavior to hide my embarrassment.

         Dropping his hand to his side, Eren came and sat next to me on the bed. He leaned into me and tilted his head at an angle that exposed his neck. “You can mark me with hickeys as many times as you’d like,” he offered. “Now that I’m awake, I’ll be able to control myself.”

         “I don’t need to mark you anymore.”

         “You don’t want to?”

         I did want to. So bad.

         “It’s okay,” he said, sensing the eagerness I was unable to tamper down. “I want you to do it. I want everyone to know that I’m yours.”

         Clenching and unclenching my hands at my sides, I succumbed to my instincts for the second time that day, leaning in to mark a spot on his neck that was unmarred. I couldn’t stop the whines that poured out of my mouth whenever my lips broke away from his skin. My instincts were taking over, but for the first time in my life, they didn’t make me feel weak or inferior. I had no desire to fight them, because I knew that Eren wouldn’t take advantage of me in this state. Without knowing how, he had earned enough trust for me to let down my walls in a way I never had before.

         When I pulled back, satisfied with what I saw, I said, “I want you to mark me too.”

         His eyes went wide. “Are you sure? I don’t have to. Don’t feel like you need to let me.”

         “Eren, I told you that I wanted to try to be with you if you could control your instincts around me. So, one step at a time, right?” I tilted my head to the side, exposing the part of myself I’d protected for so long. My heart raced in my chest.

         _Stay calm. Don’t show him that you’re afraid. Everything’s going to be okay._

Even as I thought this, something inside of me knotted as he closed in, but when he touched his lips to my scent gland, soft as a whisper, I relaxed. He wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want him to. I believed that, even if I hadn’t known him for that long, because he hadn’t given me any reason to mistrust him. And I wanted to do this. I wanted to bear his marks. It would take us a step forward, although this would never be enough to make him stay. But for a little while, he would be mine.

         He lapped at my scent gland with his tongue, patient and unhurried. An alpha shouldn’t be able to possess this type of tolerance when confronted by a willing omega, but Eren had proven to me by now that he wasn’t like any other alpha I’d met. As the seconds ticked by, I became the impatient one, squirming against him. A loud moan parted my lips when he finally sucked on my skin, and seemingly of their own accord, my arms snaked around his neck. I moved my hands up to thread my fingers into his hair, but he still kept to the same pace. He went slow, his hands mapping out the curves and dips of my back while he teased up bruise-like marks on my skin.

         When he leaned back, I said, “The other side too. Please?”

         He marked the other side of my neck and I undulated, so caught up in what he was doing that I almost didn’t hear the knock that came at the door. Eren did, though, so he eased back.

         “It’s Hanji,” he said.

         I attempted to regain my breath. “How do you know that?”

         “I can smell her.”

         “She stinks that bad?”

         He grinned. “No. Everyone has a particular scent. You know that.”

         “I do,” I said, “but I can’t smell her from here. Alphas are so freaky with their keen senses.”

         “They can come in handy.” He stood up and went to answer the door.

         After a few seconds, I heard Hanji yell, “Good morning! Judging by how you’re in control of yourself, I’m guessing that I can find my shrimp-y omega here. Levi? Have you been fornicating?”

         I shot up out of bed and stomped over to the door, pointing a finger at her once she was in sight. “No. Now why are you here?”

         “When I didn’t find you in your room, I figured you were here at your alpha’s apartment, so”—she held out a pair of clothes and my bag of toiletries—“I brought these over for you. I’m also here to spray this on Eren’s hands, since you won’t let me break his arm, which you should definitely reconsider.” She shook a small bottle she held, the blue liquid sloshing from side to side.

         I pulled her into the room before I asked, “What’s that going to do to him? And I’m not going to change my mind about you breaking his arm, so give up.”

         “You know I won’t give up, but this here won’t do anything too severe to him. It’ll give him a mild chemical burn. I want to see how long it will take to heal without him trying to heal that specific area. Are you ready, Eren?”

         Eren took my clothes from her and set them off to the side. Then he held his hands out, palms up. “I’m ready.”

         Before I could argue, Hanji sprayed the palms of his hands. Within seconds, the skin began to redden and blister, but he didn’t show any signs of pain. He simply dropped his hands to his sides.

         “Contact me once they’re all healed up,” Hanji told him, “and don’t try to heal them any faster. Let it go at its own pace. Otherwise this whole thing would’ve been for nothing.”

         Without much thought, I rubbed Eren’s arm, hoping to comfort him. When Hanji eyed me with a wild smile on her face, I said, “No. If you’re done here, then go back to your crazy scientist ways.”

         “All right, no need to be rude.” She stepped out of his apartment, but then came right back in. “I almost forgot. Erwin called me this morning and asked me to relay the message that it’s okay to go up today before breakfast. There haven’t been any signs of human aircrafts overhead for the past week, so it should be safe to be out for a couple of hours, but no more than that. Also, keep a tracking device on you at all times.”

         “Go up?” Eren asked, worry coloring his tone.

         “There’s an area outside that Levi likes to visit every month,” she said. “If he doesn’t get out of the underground for at least a couple of hours every few weeks, he goes stir crazy. Right, munchkin?”

         I glared daggers at her. “He’ll call you when his hands are healed.”

         “Okay, okay, I get the hint. I’ll leave already. Nice hickeys, by the way.” She winked at me moronically before she turned around on her heel and left us alone. I slammed the door shut.

         I had just picked up my clothes to go shower when Eren said, “You’re going outside?”

         “Yes. And before you go alpha on me, you can come with.”

         He visibly relaxed. “Okay.”

         “Now I’m going to take a shower.” I watched him tense up all over again and I rolled my eyes. “I’m taking one here. I’m not going to the communal showers. Calm down.”

         “Sorry,” he mumbled in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck as a subtle blush bloomed on his cheeks.

         “It’s fine. I’ll be out in a few so you can take one after me.”

         Once I was alone in his bathroom, I put my folded clothes on top of the sink and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. At one point, the marks on my neck would’ve repulsed me, because it meant an alpha had laid some type of claim over me. But when I saw the red patches of skin, I felt nothing but satisfaction.

         I didn’t mind being claimed by Eren.

         It didn’t take me long to shower, seeing as I was in a hurry to get outside. So there was still plenty of hot water left for Eren when he went in after me. He must’ve noticed I was in a hurry, because he didn’t take much time in there either, but when he came out some time later, there was an odd expression on his face that worried me instantly.

         “What’s wrong?” I asked.

         He held up his hands. “I can’t shave with my hands like this.”

         I cursed Hanji for the millionth time in my lifetime, and then grabbed him by the wrist to direct him back into the bathroom. While he stood there, I rummaged through his medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of shaving cream and a razor. I set them both down on the sink.

         “You don’t have to do this,” Eren said when he realized what I was planning to do.

         “I know that, but I want to.” I turned on the hot water tap and wet his face with my hands before I spread some cream over his cheeks, above his lip, and on his chin. After I applied the cream, I grabbed the razor, regarded his face, and slowly shaved his right cheek. “Don’t move, okay?”

         “Okay.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, but was sure to keep his hands off me. “And heal your hands.”

         “But Hanji said—”

         “Forget what she said. I know you have an idea on how long it takes you to heal, so we’ll tell her that.”

         While I ran the razor under running water to clean off any shaving cream, he leaned in and kissed the side of my face. “Thank you.”

         My heartbeat thudded unevenly. Yes, I didn’t mind being claimed by him. Despite the fear of being marked, I wanted to be his.

        

 

\---

 

It wasn’t often that I was allowed to go outside. Many people didn’t even bother to put in a request with Erwin to come out for a couple of hours whenever he thought it was safe enough. They weren’t willing to take the risk. They felt safer in the underground levels of the sanctuary, but if humans figured out this was one of our hiding places, what made them think that those walls would protect them? They would be just as vulnerable to the humans’ violence as I would be if I were caught outside, but unlike them, I would have at least tasted freedom before that happened.

         The outside area that Erwin had fenced off wasn’t big at all, just a small square patch of grass outside of the sanctuary. Although I was outside, the sky large and blue above me, I was still trapped and confined to this place.

         “So this is it?” Eren asked as he sat down next to me in the grass. It was warm this time of year, so the flowers just beyond the fence were blooming in vivid shades of yellow and orange. I wanted to be out there, not in here.

         “This is it,” I confirmed, laying back to gaze at the clouds. “It’s not much, but it beats being indoors.”

         He laid down next to me and took my hand, interlacing our fingers. “This isn’t enough for you, is it?”

         “It has to be enough. This is all I get.”

         “I can give you more,” he whispered, rolling onto his side to brush the hair away from my forehead. “I can take you past that fence.”

         I shook my head. “We can’t, Eren.”

         “We can. I’ll keep you safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

         I was tempted. The thought of roaming the land outside the chain link fence excited me. It’d been too long since I stepped foot outside the sanctuary. “How long would we be gone?” I asked.

         “Not long.” He sat up and pulled me along with him. “Come on.”

         I let him tug me to my feet and then we were walking toward the fence, hand in hand. I didn’t look back as we both climbed over it. I wanted this—needed it—so I kept my eyes forward once we were on the other side.

         The field of flowers was even more beautiful up close, and I couldn’t help but smile as we ran through it, the warm breeze ruffling our hair. We were putting distance between us and the sanctuary that was supposed to serve as a place of protection, but I felt safe out here with Eren. I knew that he wouldn’t let any harm come to me, so I dropped my guard for a while and focused on our surroundings. We were heading into a forest of pine trees that were as tall as they were wide. Their needles scented the air.

         “Hear that?” Eren asked as we climbed over a log covered in moss.

         I listened and heard the faint sound of running water. “A creek?”

         “No. I think it’s bigger than that.”

         We rushed forward, our feet kicking up underbrush along the way, and adrenaline finally settled in. I felt like a teenager sneaking out in the dead of night. Although this was a lot more dangerous than that, I couldn’t bring myself to regret the decision to come out here. I wanted these stolen moments with Eren. In a few weeks, we would be putting our lives in danger for the sake of others, so we deserved this little adventure together, because for all we knew, one of us could die out there.

         With my hand still in his, he led me through the trees until they stopped and gave way to a good-sized lake. The sound of running water came from a small waterfall.

         “It’s beautiful,” I said in awe, only realizing afterwards that I didn’t sound anything like my usual stern self.

         “Let’s go in.”

         I looked at him. “We can’t get our clothes wet.”

         “Then let’s take our clothes off.” He grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. He slung it over a branch that was at the same height as him. When he saw that I wasn’t following suit, he said, “We can keep our boxers on.”

         “Fine,” I grumbled, trying hard not to stare at his body.

         When we were both down to our boxers, he took my hand once again and we walked into the lake at the same time. The water was cold, so when it came up to our thighs, I sort of squealed. Eren smiled at me before he plunged us forward. As the water closed in over our heads, our fingers still tangled together, I decided that coming out here had been worth the risk. I hadn’t been this happy in a long time.

         Coming up for air, I yelled, “It’s fucking cold!”

         “You’ll get used to it.” He splashed me.

         “Don’t do that.”

         He did it again, so I splashed him back this time around. We went back and forth for a while, laughing, and then he swam away from me. I followed after him until we reached the waterfall. He disappeared behind it.

         “Come on!” he called. “There’s a cave back here.”

         “What makes you think I want to go in a cave?”

         “It’s not dark in here. The sunlight filters through the water.”

         Taking a deep breath, I dived under the water and swam forward. The force of the waterfall pushed me down a bit, but I managed to make it to the other side without running into any problems. When I came up, taking a breath, I saw that the mouth of the cave was a lot wider than I’d been expecting it to be. Eren had already hoisted himself up onto the rocks, so he helped me out, and then we both sat back and gazed out at the water falling into the lake.

         “What will Erwin do when he finds out about this?” he asked, turning his head to look at me.

         “I don’t care.”

         “Levi?”

         I turned to him, knowing what he wanted to do. I whispered, “Stop making me wait.”

         Cupping my face, Eren leaned forward and pressed our lips together with a groan. I came alive in that moment, every nerve ending waking up, making me sensitive and responsive to his every touch. My instincts boiled to the surface and I slipped my tongue into his mouth, licking and tasting him until it was all I knew. Becoming desperate, I lifted myself up onto my knees and leaned into him, but he kept me at bay by putting his hands on my waist.

         Before I could get carried away, he leaned back and pressed our foreheads together, breathing heavily. “I want to take you away from here.”

         “You can’t,” I whispered.

         “I can. Let me.”

         I rested my head on his shoulder, our wet bodies coming together. I felt so safe here in his arms, his heart beating so fast against mine. “I will, one day.”

         If you still want me.


	9. Chapter 9

The cave was bathed in a soft light that played off the beads of water on Eren’s skin as he reclined against the rock wall looking at me. It wasn’t safe to be out here. Every second spent outside the walls of the sanctuary left us unprotected and exposed to danger, yet all I wanted was to stay here with him for a while longer. I knew that once we went back, I would need to obtain a certain image that I’d upheld since I became captain of the elite squad that everyone depended on. If I slipped up, or showed that I was weak in a way that would interfere with my duties, they would lose their trust in me as a leader. And I wouldn’t be able to earn it back once they figured out that I’d chosen Eren as my mate, but hadn’t let him mark me.

            With a sigh, I closed my eyes and laid back, interlocking my fingers behind my head. The cave floor was warm against my bare skin and all I could hear was the sound of the waterfall as it made its descent into the lake. Although there were many things I should’ve been worrying about, being here was too relaxing to focus on anything other than the present moment I was in.

            I heard Eren move around some, and then I felt the heat emanating from his body as he laid down next to me. There were so many things I wanted to ask him while we were here in the privacy of the cave, away from the many prying eyes back at the sanctuary. I knew almost nothing about his life before he stumbled head first into mine and that pinched a nerve. There was a deep curiosity that made me want to know everything about him, even the little things that most people found insignificant. So, turning onto my side, I opened my eyes and regarded him. He smiled like he knew what I was going to ask him.

            “What were you doing before you were brought to the sanctuary?” I asked, wondering how Erwin even managed to take him down with only a team of four. Or, better yet, what had he promised Eren for his cooperation?

            “I was roaming around the outskirts of my home town for the past few months. I know that my parents were killed the day the purge began, but I don’t know what happened to any of my friends. I was looking for them.”

            “Do you think they’re still alive?”

            Eren sat up and stared off into the distance. “I think that they are. Mikasa is a lot stronger than most. I know she would be able to protect herself out there. And Armin, he’s smart and quick on his feet. So, yes, I think they’re still around. I just need to find them.”

            “And how do you plan on doing that? What district did you live in?”

            “Shiganshina.”

            My eyes widened in surprise. “Eren, you can’t go back there. That’s where the humans have their main base. It’s like a concentration camp for our kind. You can’t—”

            “I have to,” he said, standing up. “They could still be alive and trapped in there.”

            “Is that what Erwin promised you? To get you into Shiganshina?”

            He turned toward me and nodded once. “I need to know if they’re alive.”

            “Even if it means that you could die in the process?”

            There was something ugly and sad in his eyes as he responded with, “Don’t talk to me about dying, Levi. You think I haven’t noticed that there is something off about your scent? Those suppressants that you’re on are doing this to you, aren’t they? They’re ruining your body, because it’s not natural to suppress your heats to this extent.”

            I looked at him for a beat before I dropped my eyes. It should’ve occurred to me by now that I smelled differently than I should. I knew from the first injection I received that the suppressants would cause irreversible damage to my body that would worsen with each heat I subdued. Hanji had told me that long before the serum for omegas was even finished, but back then I couldn’t be bothered with any of that nonsense. It seemed idiotic to stay in perfect health when our kind was being pushed to extinction.

            “We should head back,” I said, avoiding the subject entirely. I wasn’t ready to talk about this with him. “We’ve already been out for too long.”

            As I got to my feet, Eren came to stand in front of me, blocking my way. I went to move past him, done with this conversation, but he stopped me once more by putting his hands on either side of my face. Now I had no choice but to look at him. “I never expected to find my mate when I let Erwin bring me to the sanctuary,” he said. The desperation in his tone caused me to stop fighting. “I just wanted a way into Shiganshina. That was the only thing I had to fight for, but now that I’ve found you…” A pained expression contorted his features and he rested his head on my shoulder, as though he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. “You’re all I want, Levi. But I worry that I’ll never be enough for you.”

            “You’re more than enough.”

            “No, I’m not, because I’m an alpha.” His hands curled into fists at his sides. “I can’t change that.”

            I gritted my teeth. “You _are_ enough. It’s me who’s not enough for you. You’re wasting your time with me. When will you see that? Eventually another unmarked omega will come to the sanctuary. It would be better for you if—”

            He cut me off with a kiss, our lips meeting without restraint. I clung onto him and, for the time being, forgot about everything else. It was far too easy to get lost in this moment, our bodies pressed tight together, skin sliding over skin. And the realization that he was still holding himself back thrilled me rather than scared me. He was so much stronger than this. If he wanted to, he could have me pinned up against the wall in seconds. What would it feel like to hand over control to him? To let him do exactly what he wanted to?

            To truly be at his mercy?

            When he leaned back, giving one final lick to my bottom lip, he said in a growl, “I don’t want anyone else. Stop thinking that any other omega will do.”

            “You’ll get tired of waiting around for me,” I responded in a breathless voice, even when I hoped that he wouldn’t.

            “I doubt that.” He left a trail of kisses along my jawline until he reached my ear. His voice was deep and tempting as he whispered, “I don’t think you understand what you do to me.” He slid his fingers down my arm and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his neck. I could feel the thudding of his scent gland beneath my palm. “I would let you mark me, even if I couldn’t mark you in return.”

            I shook my head. “No. I would never do that to you.”

            “But I want you to.”

            “No. I can’t, Eren. I can’t take that away from you knowing that I won’t let you mark me. It would be unfair to you.”

            I waited for his response, but he didn’t say anything. He held me close to him for a long moment, his body shaking, and something inside of me broke.

            Why was I so afraid to give up the promise I’d made my mother twenty years ago? Why did the memories of her ravaged body continue to haunt me?

            _Mother, tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do anymore._

The silence was interrupted by a sudden splash of water, too loud and purposeful to be an animal wading into the lake. Eren set me down on my feet a second later and turned toward the waterfall, the scent rolling off of him feral and frightening. It was unlike anything I’d ever smelt before. Even when I knew he wasn’t directing it at me, I couldn’t help but shrink back. From the moment I saw him down on his knees on the day we first met, I knew he was something to be feared, but seeing him like this made it real. What kind of damage could this alpha cause when he unleashed his full strength on someone? How many people had met their end when they crossed his path?

            “Stay behind me,” Eren snarled, his voice so low and ominous that chills charged down my spine. He sniffed the air and his head snapped in my direction. An involuntary whimper left my mouth as his murderous gaze met mine. “Levi, hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you.”

            I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I know you’re not going to hurt me. I’m just reacting to your scent. It’s powerful.”

            Another splash—this one much closer—caught our attention and we both looked at the mouth of the cave. Although he wanted me to stay back, I wouldn’t let him fight alone. I had plenty of experience to defend myself, and if anyone tried to hurt him, I would have no problem returning the damage in full.

            When we heard someone swimming toward the waterfall, I asked, “Can you smell them?”

            He shook his head. “No, their scent is washed out by the smell of the lake.”

            Whoever was behind the splashes took a deep breath before they swam beneath the waterfall. What kind of human was stupid enough to approach an alpha alone? Although their sense of smell wasn’t strong enough to detect our scents, they had a device that tested the air for an alpha’s unique pheromones. They definitely would’ve picked up Eren’s with how strong his scent was right now, even with the waterfall between us.

            A deep growl rumbled out of Eren’s chest as the person popped up from the water. I had about two seconds to catch a glimpse of their face before he was charging at them.

            “Wait!” I shouted, grabbing his arm to hold him back. “Wait, Eren! It’s Hanji!”

            For a moment, I thought he was going to attack her anyway, too riled up to calm down in time. Then he stumbled back against the cave wall and said, “Keep her away from me.”

            “Are you brainless?” I shouted at Hanji, who was paddling back toward the waterfall with a grin on her face. “Why didn’t you let us know that it was you? Why would you let us think that you were an enemy? Do you want to die?”

            “I’m still here, aren’t I?” was her snarky remark. “Plus, I wanted to see how Eren reacted to an enemy. I’m not disappointed. His scent is even making _me_ scared. That’s hard to accomplish.”

            “You should be scared of me,” I shot back. “I’m about to drown you.”

            She laughed like the complete idiot she was. “Cut me some slack. I’m here to save your asses. Erwin was about to come out and check on you when you didn’t return after an hour, but I had Mike call him down to the medical wing before then. You owe me. Let me chop off Eren’s arm and we’ll call it even.”

            “You irritating—”

            “Stop,” Eren said through clenched teeth. “The angrier you get, the more I want to hurt her.”

            I glared at Hanji, but tried to wrangle in my emotions before she ended up as minced meat. “Go back out. We’ll meet up with you once he’s under control and no longer sees you as a threat. For once in your life, listen to what I’m telling you.”

            To my surprise, she didn’t even try to argue. All she said was, “All right.”

            I waited until she disappeared beneath the water to slowly walk up to Eren, unsure if I should even be approaching him under these circumstances. His scent wasn’t back to normal yet, but I could see how hard he was trying to reign himself in, so I kept moving forward. When I was within his reach, he pulled me against him without any warning. Fear coursed through me, which caused me to lock up, but after a few seconds passed by, I relaxed. I was fine. He wasn’t going to hurt me. He was just reassuring himself that I was safe.

            “Are you okay?” I asked.

            “I’m getting there.” He buried his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. It was strange how I could sense how much he needed to make sure I wasn’t harmed in any way, almost like we were connected by an invisible string. “Is she always like this?”

            “Completely disregarding her own well-being? Yes. That’s Hanji for you.”

            “I’ve never been that way before, but the thought of someone hurting you… I was sure that I was going to kill her.”

            I rubbed his back in hopes of providing him with some comfort, but I wasn’t very good at this. Being with someone like this was still so new to me. “But you didn’t. She’s okay.”

            “I know,” he said, loosening his grip. “Let’s head back. Whatever she invented to get Erwin down to the medical wing won’t keep him there forever.”

            “You’re greatly underestimating Hanji’s ability to create chaos, but yeah, let’s get out of here before she decides to come back.”

            After he checked me out one more time, scanning me from head to foot, he plunged into the water. I lingered back in the cave for a moment longer. This would most likely be the last time I was outside the sanctuary walls under such peaceful conditions, so I was glad that I took the chance to come out here with him, because, for us, nothing was guaranteed.

            I raised my hand and brushed my scent gland with the tips of my fingers. Yes, for us, there was more ways to fall apart than come together.

            I committed the cave to memory, remembering the way Eren’s lips had felt pressed to mine, and then I hopped into the water. Down here, I couldn’t hear anything, and the outside world seemed intangible. It was a peaceful feeling, being submerged in water. When I resurfaced on the other side of the waterfall, I saw that both Eren and Hanji were already standing on shore. He was avoiding her gaze as he plucked his T-shirt from the branch he’d left it on. I could tell that he felt guilty about what happened, but he couldn’t be blamed for her wanting to test him.

            As I was wading out of the lake, Hanji looked at me with an unfamiliar pensive expression. It looked out of place on her usually happy face.

            “What is it?” I asked.

            “It’s Nanaba.”

            I stared at her for a long time, willing her to keep quiet. She did. She knew that there were some things I didn’t want Eren to know about. Not now. Not ever.

            “We’ll discuss this later,” I said.

            She readjusted her glasses. They were beaded with water. “I think he has a right to know.”

            “Hanji,” I began in warning, but she interrupted me.

            “Nanaba’s dead, Levi. She died this morning. You told me that if anything happened to her, you would stop.”

            “I can’t stop!” I yelled.

            “Yes you can!” She grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me toward her. “And you will, because I’m not going to administer the serum to you anymore. It killed her, Levi. And it’ll kill you too. It was made for alphas, not for omegas. I’ve kept this from Erwin long enough, but I won’t do it anymore. Not if it means that you’ll die. I won’t be responsible for that. Do you understand me?”

            “It’s my choice,” I whispered.

            She shook her head, tears running down her cheeks. “Not anymore. I’m sorry.”

            Eren was at my side in the blink of an eye, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at Hanji, his scent a mixture of panic and worry. “How long was this Nanaba person taking the suppressants?”

            “Five years,” Hanji said.

            “How long has Levi been on them?”

            “It doesn’t matter,” I told him, even when it did.

            “Levi’s been taking them for three years now.”

            Eren turned his head to look at me before he returned his gaze to her. “There’s something off about his scent. It’s…wrong. I can’t explain it. If he stops now, will he be okay?”

            “I don’t know,” Hanji murmured. “He’s been having issues lately, and I was stupid enough to keep them from Erwin. Just like I kept what’s happening between the two of you from him.” She laughed, but it was nothing but a sound of defeat. “I wanted to give Levi the chance to decide on his own. I wanted him to meet someone that he wanted as his mate, but even now that he’s chosen you, he’s unwilling to let you mark him. Perhaps he always will be.”

            Since the purge of our kind began six years ago, my hope of living a normal life dwindled as I was forced to stay in hiding like some kind of criminal on the run. Then, when I came to the sanctuary after sustaining a severe injury while out searching for food, I understood that nothing was ever going to be the same again. That things were only going to get worse from here on out. At that point, I accepted my fate. I’d given up. But throughout it all, I held onto my mother’s promise. It was the one thing I had in a world going to complete shit. Now there was Eren, and he was changing everything, but why did it feel like it was already too late?

            The choices I’d made in the past were polluting my future, just like I knew they would. But I hadn’t been expecting to find someone that would make me regret these decisions. Why couldn’t I have met Eren years ago? Things could have been different then.

            Erwin was right. I was going to lose him long before he was even mine.

            Why did the mere thought hurt me so much?

            “I’m going back,” I said, not sticking around to hear their responses. I pushed passed them and didn’t look back.

            The underbrush sunk under my feet as I rushed off in a desperate attempt to get ahead of them. None of this mattered or changed anything. I had duties to worry about. Up until a few days ago, I was fine with how things were going. So why did wanting Eren have to change that? I would put this behind me and focus on the matters that I should’ve been focusing on to begin with. One day, he would find an unmarked omega that deserved him. He would forget all about me and that was for the best.

            _Keep on telling yourself that, Levi. Keep on pretending that it doesn’t hurt._

            I hadn’t made it far when I felt a hand wrap around my arm. I whirled around and pushed Eren away. I couldn’t let him get close to me. Not anymore.

            “Levi,” he said, worry coloring his tone. “Please…”

            “Don’t say anything. It won’t make a difference.”

            “It’s not too late to fix things.”

            “It is too late,” I said. “Nanaba didn’t show signs of illness until a few months ago, and then her health took a turn for the worst in a matter of days, Eren. Can’t you see that?”

            “But she was taking them longer than you.”

            “I’ve been taking higher dosages.”

            He groaned like he was in pain. “Hanji’s going to cut you off and monitor you from here on out. Once your heat cycles regulate, she’ll see—”

            “Is that what you think I want?” I asked. “To be at the mercy of what I am? I’ll lose it all, Eren. I’ll be trapped in that sanctuary until I die, stripped of my duties. I won’t let it end that way.”

            “So you’re just going to take these suppressants until you wind up like that other omega?”

            “I don’t have any other choice.”

            He took my hand and tried to pull me to him, but I resisted. When he noticed this, he dropped it. “You told me that you would give me a chance to prove myself to you. I still want that chance, Levi.”

            “It’s pointless now.”

            “It’s not. Not to me.”

            “Well it is to me.” I took several steps back. I wouldn’t give him false hope. I’d already had problems due to the suppressants, so for all I knew, I could end up like Nanaba in months. I couldn’t risk the chance of being with him if that’s what was going to happen to me. “This can’t go on anymore. It has to end here.”

            He clenched his teeth. Everything from his scent to his posture told me just how much this was hurting him. “I won’t give up on you.”

            “You should,” I whispered.

            “I won’t.”

            I couldn’t look at him anymore. There was an acute pain building up inside of me that was threatening to spill over at any second. I had to get away from him before it could change my scent.

            So, reluctantly, I turned around and walked away from the one alpha I’d ever come to have feelings for.

\---

 

Erwin was still busy when the three of us returned to Sanctuary Recon half an hour later. According to Farlan, who met us outside of the medical wing, training was cancelled until further notice. That was due to the fact that I was expected in Erwin’s office the minute I returned from my outdoor adventure. I knew what he wanted to speak to me about—it was painfully obvious—but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear any of it. Not that I had a choice in the matter. If he wanted me up in his office, then that’s where I needed to be.

            “Let me get changed,” Hanji said as she pushed open the door to her office. “He wants to talk to me as well, so we’ll go up together.”

            “Fine,” I told her, watching her disappear behind the door.

            After all these months of keeping Nanaba’s condition a secret, the truth had finally surfaced, and now we were going to pay the consequences of keeping this information to ourselves. I wouldn’t let Hanji take the blame for any of this. It had been my idea to keep this under wraps.

            “There’s no reason for you to be here, Eren,” I said, trying to sound cold and dismissive. I couldn’t accomplish it. There was too much on my mind. “You should head down to the dining hall to get some lunch.”

            “There are things I need to discuss with Erwin.”

            I looked at him, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Such as?”

            “I would like to keep that to myself.”

            I didn’t press him for more details. He had every right to close himself off to me. After all, I was doing the same to him.

            A few minutes later, Hanji came back out in a new set of clothes, easing the strained silence that had settled between Eren and me. “Ready?” she asked.

            “As I’ll ever be,” I answered.

            She eyed Eren while she locked her office up. “Are you coming with?” He nodded. “Well okay. Let’s get this over with then.”

            I had a feeling that we were never going to be over this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens and intensifies. This is the part of the story I live for.
> 
> On another note, I've been getting a lot of support and good feedback for this fic and it means a lot. Thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

Erwin was furious. I could tell that much by how he didn’t even bother to spare a glance in our direction when the three of us walked into his office. He continued to pace behind his desk without pause, an unreadable expression on his face. That was never a good sign. Then again, I hadn’t been expecting him to be overjoyed with us at a time like this. Hanji and I had betrayed his trust. Now Nanaba was dead, and one of his top soldier’s was still on the serum that had killed her. We had put him in a position he never wanted to be in. If anything, we deserved his anger.    

            There weren’t enough chairs for the three of us, so Eren stood behind the one I sat in. Having him in here put me at ease, even under these circumstances. I didn’t know what Erwin had in store for me. As of right now, my future was hidden in shadows, and there was no one to blame but myself.

            “I never would have expected this from the two of you,” Erwin said in a clipped tone. “To think things have come this far. Now I’m left to pick up the pieces of the mess you’ve made.” He turned to face us at last, eyes ablaze with anger. “Levi, you have given me no other choice than to relieve you of your current position as captain. I can no longer entrust you with the safety of your squad outside the sanctuary walls. Starting today, you will be taken off the omega serum, and due to your unwillingness to mate with an alpha, you will also be transferred to another location. Your safety is my top priority, and at this new location you’ll be able to ride out your heats in solitary confinement without the threat of an alpha nearby.”

            “Erwin,” Hanji began, but he cut her off with a swipe of his hand.

            “I’ve made up my mind on this, Dr. Zoe.” He fixed his gaze on her. “As for you, due to your questionable behavior, you will now be monitored at all times. You will not be allowed access to your laboratory without supervision. I cannot believe you supplied Levi with these suppressants when you saw what they had done to Nanaba. Did it really take watching her die to come to your senses?”

            Hanji winced. “I was hoping he would find an alpha that he would feel comfortable mating with.”

            “I don’t think it matters if he finds an alpha he wants. He still won’t put down his walls.” Erwin’s eyes flicked to Eren. “I’m assuming you’re here because you’ve taken a liking to Levi?”

            “I’m here to discuss our terms,” Eren said.

            Erwin heaved out a sigh. “We can discuss that at a later time. That has nothing to do with the current situation.”

            “It has everything to do with the current situation.”

            I looked back at Eren, but his eyes remained on Erwin. I had no idea what he was planning to do.

            “I see,” Erwin said. He took a seat in the task chair behind him. “Well, you have my attention. What would you like to discuss about the terms we set?”

            “I agreed to come to the sanctuary under one condition. That condition being that you assist me with the task of getting into Shiganshina, but I no longer wish to go there.” My heart stuttered in my chest as my eyes widened with surprise, but he went on. “Now that I’ve found my mate, I don’t want to put myself in harm’s way.”

            Erwin raised an eyebrow in question. “Your mate? If you’re hoping that one day Levi will choose you, then I have to warn—”

            “He’s already chosen me,” Eren said, “which leads me to my new terms. If you want me to stay here and be a part of the team that goes outside the walls, then you will allow Levi to keep his position. Hanji has assured me that the latest dosage of suppressants he’s on will see him through the upcoming expedition, and if his squad doesn’t know that he’s chosen a mate, then he can still lead them as he’s done so in the past.”

            “And if I don’t agree with these terms of yours?”

            “Then I leave and I take Levi with me.”

            “What makes you think I would let you do that?” Erwin asked.

            Eren leaned forward, a predatory scent coming off him. “What makes you think you can stop me?”

            I expected Erwin to end things right then and there, so it surprised me when he said, “I know I can’t stop you. I’ve seen what you’re capable of doing. It’s the only reason I brought you here to begin with. If you wanted to leave here with your omega, then I wouldn’t stop you, because the damage you would cause if I were to detain you against your will would be far too great.” He looked at me. “Have you truly chosen this alpha as your mate, Levi? There is no point in going out on a limb for you if you haven’t.”

            I tilted my head to the side and pulled the collar of my shirt down to expose my scent gland. There was no fear behind the action. “Does this answer your question?”

            “So it’s as he says it is.”

            Hanji suddenly leaned forward in her seat, placing her elbows on her knees. She had her crazy scientist face on. “I believe it goes well beyond that. I think they’re destined mates.”

            “What makes you think that?” Erwin asked.

            “Because of Eren’s neck.” She gestured to him. “Normally an alpha’s scent gland will stay dormant, even when an omega chooses them as their mate. It will only rise to the surface of their skin when they allow an omega to bond mark them, but Eren’s is visible whenever he’s around Levi. I noticed this right after Levi chose him as his mate. I’ve never seen that happen before.”

            Erwin regarded me with a look of disbelief. “How have you not taken notice in this?”

            “Levi isn’t familiar with an alpha’s anatomy,” Hanji explained. “It doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t react upon seeing it. He has gone out of his way to avoid alphas throughout his life. Eren is the only one he’s let near him in a physical manner, and vice versa.”

            “Is this true?” Erwin questioned, lifting his gaze to once again assess the alpha behind me.

            Eren put his hand on my shoulder. I relaxed under his touch. “It’s true. Other than Levi, I’ve never let an omega near me in any way, shape, or form. He’s the only one I want.”

            Erwin swiveled around in his chair and stood up, clasping his hands behind his back as he began to pace again. “From the looks of it, I don’t have any other choice than to let you stay here under your conditions, Eren. I cannot lose you at a time like this. Our supplies have been dwindling faster than we’ve been able to replace them. If this continues, the people here will begin to take notice, and I want to avoid that at all costs. My aim for this upcoming expedition is to replenish both our food and medical supplies. With you here, that’s almost guaranteed.”

            “You honestly believe he can do that much?” I asked out of curiosity.

            Erwin chuckled. “Oh, believe me, he can do that and more. You didn’t see what I saw, Levi. He’s not an alpha to be taken lightly, but onto other pressing matters before I get off topic. Eren, I agree to let Levi go out on this upcoming expedition, but what about afterwards? I will not approve of him being injected with the omega serum. Not when it puts his life at risk.”

            “He will have to endure his heats from here on out,” Eren said, sliding his hand to the side to caress the side of my neck. I nuzzled against his palm unconsciously, which was something that didn’t go unnoticed by Erwin. “In order for him to do that safely, there will have to be a secure area cleared off for him throughout his cycle. One that I will not have access to.”

            “Do you agree with this, Levi?”

            Did I agree to do the one thing I’d strived to never do? Which was to allow my instincts to rule my actions?

            Destined mates. I’d heard of the concept, but had never believed in it. It was an illusion that would never come to fruition, so why bother wasting time thinking about it? For me, alphas had always been the enemy I steered clear of. They were nothing but primitive beasts that took and hurt, claimed and owned. I feared them, and let that fear guide me through life until it was all I knew. I believed I would die with that hatred consuming me. I’d been prepared to let it wash me away, but now there was an alpha that had stepped into my life and was rewriting himself in it.

            Our lives were intertwining and soon I wouldn’t be able to tell where I began and he ended.

            “I agree with everything he’s told you,” I said when I realized they were all waiting for an answer. I heard Eren release a sigh of relief behind me.

            “There’s one last thing I’d like to discuss before I let you all go for the evening.” Erwin turned his attention to Hanji. “Mike informed me that Nanaba was experiencing difficulties long before her health disintegrated. About a month ago, Levi fainted during one of his training sessions. You told me it had something to do with the suppressants, but that it wasn’t anything to worry about. I want the truth now. What issues has Levi been facing because of the serum?”

            Hanji gripped the armrests of the chair, ragged nails biting into the fabric. It took her a moment to speak, but when she did, her voice was barely above a whisper. “Chronic migraines, severe aches in his joints, nausea, chills, fatigue, vomiting, heavy nosebleeds—”

            “A hell of a lot,” I said to stop her from going on. I didn’t want to hear her name anything else off. Now that she had spoken my ailments aloud, I felt the weight of them on my shoulders. They never bothered me before, but things were different. Yet acknowledging that wouldn’t make this go away.

            You reap what you sow.  

            “Only time will tell if the damage caused by the suppressants will affect him even when he’s no longer on them.” Hanji nervously played with the lanyard around her neck. I’d never seen her like this before. “I’m sorry that I let this happen, Erwin. You’re right. I should’ve come to my senses long ago, but I was stupid and let him convince me to drag this out. If anything happens to him, I will take full responsibility.”

            “That’s bullshit,” I snapped. “I knew what I was doing. No one forced me into anything.”

            “But I could have stopped this, Levi. I _should_ have stopped this.”

            Erwin held his hand up to silence the both of us. “It’s pointless to argue about these things now. We can only move on from here. We’ll keep track of Levi’s health and it’s crucial that you tell me if anything changes. There can be no more secrets kept between us. Is that understood?”

            I nodded. “Yes.”

            Hanji chirped out, “Yes!”

            “So we agree that Levi will keep his position, and the status of us as mates will be kept from his squad until further notice?” Eren asked. The sound of his voice, so deep and authoritative, sent chills down my spine. Did I have any hope of keeping away from him until I figured out if I was in good health or not?

            I would have to try. For his sake.

            “Yes, we have an agreement,” Erwin said. “I would suggest that both of you take up finding creative ways to hide your scent glands from view. Also, one last thing.” He pulled open the top drawer of his desk and rummaged through some papers before he took one between thumb and forefinger. He held it up so that we could see it. “This was found in Nanaba’s room. It states that she knew what the suppressants were doing to her and that neither you or Hanji are responsible for anything.”

            Hanji clenched her hands into tight fists, but said nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to meet Erwin’s eyes. Although Nanaba had known what the suppressants were doing to her, we could have prevented her from taking them. We justified our actions by telling ourselves that she was on them because she’d lost her mate in the purge, but that was no excuse. Now it was too late to change anything. She was gone and we would have to live with that on our conscience for the rest of our lives.

            “Go get yourselves some lunch. The dining hall will stay open a bit later today since training was cancelled.” Erwin set the paper down and gave a grand gesture toward the door. We were dismissed.

            I stood up and fought the urge to rush out of the room. A lot of unexpected things had occurred today, and the thought of being surrounded by people down in the dining hall didn’t sit well with me. I wanted to be alone, but the insistent growling of my stomach wouldn’t go away on its own, and being cooped up in my room wouldn’t solve anything. Yet the image of Nanaba’s face kept coming to mind. I couldn’t be around anyone right now. Not when I was like this. It would be impossible to keep these emotions from bubbling to the surface.

            _I killed her. It’s my fault._

“Let’s go get you something to eat,” Eren said, putting his hand on my lower back to lead me out of Erwin’s office.

            When we were alone in the hallway, I stopped and told him, “I think I’m going to head to my room.”

            “Are you not feeling well?”

            “No. I need to lie down for a bit.”

            He pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. Then to each of my cheeks. “You’re freezing.”

            “I just—I need to be alone. Okay? Please.”

            He scrutinized my face for several seconds and must’ve seen something there that concerned him, because he nodded in agreement. “All right.”

            Taking my hand in his without asking any more questions, he walked with me down the hallway toward the main corridors. I let him guide me in the right direction, not even bothering to lift my gaze to make sure that he wasn’t taking me somewhere other than my room. I trusted him enough to know that he wouldn’t do that. Not without receiving my permission first.

            When we reached my room, I fumbled with the lanyard around my neck with shaky hands. Eren stepped behind me and placed his hands over mine when he noticed this, moving for me. He scanned my badge and I felt him turn his head to the side as I punched in my four-digit code. I leaned back against him, aching for another moment, another second with him. Surrounded by his scent, with his arms encircled around my waist, I felt at peace. I didn’t want him to go, but I couldn’t be selfish enough to make him stay.

            “Thank you,” I whispered.

            He pushed open the door. “You don’t have to thank me. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

            I turned around to face him and looked up into his eyes. He brought his hands up and ran his fingers through my hair, pushing the loose strands back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

            “You won’t. Hanji is going to monitor you.”

            “That doesn’t mean I’m okay, and until I know for sure, I can’t be with you.” Saying the words hurt. At one point, I would’ve been glad for this opportunity to put space between us. But now he was all I wanted. I wanted his touches, his kisses, his scent on my skin. I couldn’t even deny that anymore. “Eren,” I said, my voice filled with longing, “please understand where I’m coming from.”

“I do understand.” He kissed my forehead. “In return, understand that I’ll always be waiting for you.”

            I took a step back, needing to put some distance between us before I caved and asked him to stay. That’s when I heard footsteps. I attempted to compose myself, hoping that I could manage it.

            The footsteps belonged to a young woman I’d seen around the sanctuary, but didn’t know on a personal level. She was a beta with short black hair and grey eyes. I couldn’t recall her name.

            “Captain Levi,” she said. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for her to continue. “I came to tell you that Nile has set aside some food for you in the kitchen.” Her eyes moved up to take in Eren. She smiled brightly, inching closer to him. I tensed up. “Hi! I’m Mina.”

            “Eren.”

            “Eren,” she repeated, leaning into him. “I’ve been wanting to meet you ever since you arrived. Are you busy right now? We could catch lunch together. I’d love to get to know you.”

            “Maybe another time,” Eren said in a flat, disinterested tone I’d never heard from him before.

            “You sure?” Mina grabbed him by the wrist and it was the physical contact that caused me to snap. Instincts boiled over, demanding that I do something to show her that he was mine. I pushed my way in between them and pointed a finger at her. She shrank back at once, nose wrinkling in distaste when she smelled the viciousness that tainted my scent.

            Good.

            “Stay away from him,” I growled, glaring at her with all the anger I felt. She fidgeted.

            Her brows pulled together in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

            “Stay. Away. From. Him.” I enunciated each word, but instead of backing down, she lifted her chin in defiance. She was challenging me.

            “If I may be blunt,” she began in a tone that oozed smugness, “he’s unmarked, which means he’s available.”

            “He’s _mine. My_ alpha. Don’t touch him.”

            Eren snaked an arm around my stomach and pulled me back against him. “Mina, I’m not interested in you. Please leave. Now.”

            Her mouth dropped open in shock, but she turned around on the ball of her foot and hurried down the corridor. I watched her retreating back until she disappeared around the corner, but I couldn’t calm down, my body shaking with anger. She was a rival. She wanted my alpha and I wouldn’t let her have him under any circumstances. If I had to fight to prove that to her, then I would. I’d show her, and anyone else that tried to take him from me, that I wouldn’t give him up so easily.

            “Shh,” Eren soothed, turning his head to nuzzle the side of my neck. He mouthed at my scent gland, blending our essences together. The smell of us set me at ease. “It’s okay now.”

            “Is it? She wants you.”

            “I’m yours.”

            “You’re not. To everyone who sees you, you’re an unmarked alpha that is free to do as he pleases.”

            “I am yours, Levi. You said so yourself.” There was a smile in his voice that was hard to miss. “I don’t need a mark on my neck to stay loyal to you.” I tilted my head back to gaze at him. The smile he was trying to hide from me was gorgeous. “Did you mean what you said?”

            It would have been better to keep quiet and not give him hope for a future we couldn’t have. There were too many things against us. This wouldn’t end well. Nothing could end well for our kind. Not when we were fighting a losing battle that was getting worse with each passing day, and yet, though we were swimming against the tide, I wanted all the time I could have with him. If we were going down with this war, then we would go down together.

            “I meant it,” I said in a small voice.

            “And are you…mine?” Fear had crept into his tone as he said the last word. He wasn’t certain of my answer. I’d given him every reason to doubt me, constantly pushing him away at every turn. Even now, when every fiber of my being craved him, I wanted to keep him at a distance. But what was the point? Why was I still fighting? For every step we took forward, I winded up taking two steps back.

            I was tired of it.

            “Wait here,” I said. I stepped into my room and walked over to the nightstand beside my bed. I pulled open the top drawer and pushed aside several things before I spotted what I was looking for. I took the key into my hand. “Come in here, Eren.”

            He walked into the room and sat next to me on the bed. I didn’t look at him as I lifted the leather cord necklace. When it was settled around his neck, the gold key over his heart, I said, “It belonged to my mother. It was a key for a small wooden chest she kept hidden beneath the floorboards. She would always hide things from her mate in there.” I looked down at my hands. “Things for me.”

            I could still remember how she would open the chest in excitement to show me all the goodies she got me from the market. Small things like hard candies and little knickknacks to play with around the house, but her mate didn’t want me to have them, so she went out of her way to get them for me.

            It hurt to think about.

            “What happened to her?”

            “She was killed by her alpha.” I bit down on my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “She was an omega like me, and when he didn’t want her anymore, he took her life. I watched it happen. He made me watch.”

            Eren touched the key before he took me into his arms. “That’s why you don’t want to be marked, isn’t it?”

            “It was the last thing she asked of me, so I promised her that I would never let an alpha mark me.”

            “Levi…”

            “I want to be yours, Eren. I just need time and patience. There are so many things working against us.” My health was one among many others.

            He kissed the top of my head. “I already told you that I’ll always be waiting for you.”

            Yes, but time wasn’t on our side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I break you, just to mend you, just to break you all over again. Wow. I'm cruel af. I'm sorry. xD


	11. Chapter 11

Hanji handed me a multivitamin that was large and milky white. It was another one of her concoctions, except this one was intended to help me. I looked down at the pill in the palm of my hand before I popped it into my mouth. The grainy texture that coated my tongue was immediate. I picked up the glass of water that had been set on the counter for me and washed the pill down with several rushed gulps. Erwin and her were doing everything in their power to reverse the effects of the suppressants, but the sad truth was I didn’t feel any better. The pain in my joints was worsening. It was almost unbearable now.

            Warmth spread through my chest as I sat there waiting for Hanji to hand me yet another pill, this one for the pain. I couldn’t make it through the day without it, and to think that in two weeks’ I would be leading my squad out into dangerous terrain. Could I be trusted with their lives under these conditions? I didn’t want to be relieved of my position as captain, but perhaps that was for the best. Perhaps it was time that I accepted my fate and stopped trying to dodge the inevitable.

            “You look tired,” Hanji said as she unscrewed the lid of a white bottle. “Didn’t sleep well?”

            How could I sleep well when my alpha was in a different room than me? I’d kept my distance from Eren out of necessity, and I was paying the consequences for that. Whenever his scent faded from my skin, drowned out by my own as the hours passed, I ached for him in every way possible. I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, to reassure me that he was still mine, although he wasn’t bound to me. He did not bear the mated mark on his neck. At any moment he could choose to find another, and if it came down to that, I wouldn’t stop him. He deserved an omega that wasn’t damaged the way I was.

            “You already know the answer to that question,” I answered.

            “Eren hasn’t been able to sleep well, either.” Hanji shook two pills onto her palm and then gave them to me. “He’s becoming agitated.”

            I swallowed down the pills before I asked, “Agitated?”

            “Yes. The other day someone bumped into him by accident and he started up a fight. If Farlan wouldn’t have been there to intervene, who knows how far Eren would have taken it.” She pulled up a medical stool to sit on. “His behavior isn’t uncalled for. He’s anxious, Levi. He wants to see you, to know how you are. The only time you allow him near you is in the morning, when he scent marks you, but that isn’t enough for him.”

            “You know why it has to be this way, Hanji. With the way I’ve been feeling, it’s better that I don’t see him too often. He needs to”—I dropped my gaze, swallowing convulsively—“let me go.”  

            “It’s not that simple. Destined mates are meant to be with one another. No other omega will satisfy him. He craves only you, and I know you feel the same way in return.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to do everything I can to make you better. I will not rest until I’ve discovered a way to fix this.”

            I shook my head. “But what if you can’t fix this?”

            “Then he’s going to lose you either way,” she said in a strained voice.

            I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath, clenching my teeth afterwards. I spoke through them. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

            “Then be with him while you can. Let him comfort you, take care of you. It’s all he wants right now.”

            “Fuck,” I muttered. I stood up and knocked over the chair I’d been sitting in. I lifted my hand to my chest in a useless attempt to dull the throbbing pain there. Only one person could take it away. “Why does the thought of hurting him make me feel this way? Like I’m breaking into pieces?”

            “Because he’s your destined mate. When will you accept that? You’re tied to him, even without the bond mark branding your skin. He’s yours, and you’re his. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

            I righted the chair I’d dropped. I couldn’t talk about this with her, or anyone else, because they wouldn’t understand how guilty I felt whenever I was around Eren. All I was doing was taking. He was getting nothing in return but heartache. “I need to go down to the dining hall. I have training today.”

            “Remember not to strain yourself,” Hanji said. It surprised me that she wasn’t steering the conversation back to Eren. “If you do that, you can needlessly excel the damage to your joints. Take it slow. And if you need to rest up, don’t be afraid to sit down for a while. You can’t play superhero in your condition, so for your sake, don’t even try to.”

            “Way to be blunt.” I sighed and rubbed at my temples. There it was again. The migraine that wouldn’t quit. “I understand. So can I leave now, _Dr._ Zoe?”

            She smiled wide. “Yep. Go get some breakfast in you. That’s the doctor’s orders.”

            I rolled my eyes as I left her office, which had been ransacked by Erwin once he found out about Nanaba. She no longer had access to any serums she’d created, but considering what we’d done, both of us were getting off light. Things could’ve been much worse, and would have been, if it weren’t for Eren. He’d given up what he wanted the most to save me, his mate. Now he would never know whether or not his friends were trapped in Shiganshina. Prisoners of war that would be contained until their hearts gave out, or the humans decided they were done with them.

            As I rounded the corner that led out of the medical wing, I spotted Eren up ahead. I stopped midstride, hoping he hadn’t seen me, and watched him from afar. He was pacing in front of the double doors I would need to go through in order to get out of here. Even when he was a good distance from me, the scent coming off him reached where I stood. He was brooding. _Agonizing_ over me. It was tainting his scent, the alpha in him calling out to his mate desperately. I whined in response, unable to contain it, because I needed him just as much as he needed me.

            His head whipped in my direction. “Levi,” he breathed out in both relief and anguish. “You weren’t in your room, so I got worried.” He took a step closer to me, breathing in to catch my scent in the air. “I had to make sure you were ok.”

            “I’m fine. Hanji called me down to her office this morning. I should’ve relayed the message to you. I’m sorry.” I tried to sound professional, a captain to his subordinate, but I wanted him to scoop me up and rub his scent on me. I wanted to do the same to him. Rub our throats together until we smelt of each other.

            “Can I come over there?” he asked.

            “I need a minute.”

            For the past week, we’d only seen each other for brief moments at a time. We hadn’t been alone since we were out beyond the walls, so this was agony. I wanted to touch him, to sink my teeth into him and taste his flesh. My fingers curled in, nails biting into my palms as I envisioned scraping them down his back to leave vivid marks behind. I could already imagine how it would feel to have his powerful body over mine. Hard muscles flexing beneath my fingertips with each thrust that would drive him deeper inside me.

            “Shit,” I said. I was creating slick, the sweet smell of it flooding my senses. Why was I putting him in this position when he was already suffering enough? I needed to get myself under control, even when his scent was driving me crazy. “G-get out of here, Eren. Go. Now.”

            He gave me no response. I looked up and saw that he’d gone rigid. His eyes were radiant with desire and his scent was changing into something enticing. Something that promised me pleasure. Something that I wanted more than I could understand.

            _Yes._

“You smell so good,” Eren growled, lids falling closed on a moan. “My omega. Want to taste you.”

            I was losing my grip on rational thought. I should’ve been afraid by this. Seeing as both of us were on the brink of losing control, of giving into our instincts and letting them take over, but all I wanted was to feel his hands on me. I needed this in a way I’d never needed anything before. I wanted our bodies tangled together, slick with our scents and musk, our skin riddled with bite marks that would last for weeks. Standing this far away from him wouldn’t do.

            “Eren.” His name came out as a whimper. “I hurt.”

            A flicker of reason dulled the vibrancy in his eyes. He dropped his head into his hands, a deep growl emitting from his throat. “Ah, no, c-can’t control myself. It’s been too long since I’ve last had your scent on me, and right now you smell…irresistible.” He groaned and the sound of it made my legs go slack. _My alpha._ “I shouldn’t have come. Go back into Hanji’s office. Please, Levi, go. Won’t be able to control myself for much longer.”

            “I’m not going into heat,” I said in wonder. “Yet I’m still responding so strongly to your scent. How can that be?”

            “That’s because you’re destined mates. When will you listen to me? I tried explaining this to you over and over.” Hanji came around the corner with a plastic bottle in hand. She started spraying it around me. “Sorry, this stinks something fierce, but it’ll help your alpha calm himself before he rushes over here and tears your clothes off.” She turned her eyes to me. “Do you want me to send him away?”

            “No.”

            “Is that you talking? Or are those the pheromones making an appearance? Eren smells pretty strong right now.”

            “No, it’s not the pheromones.” I inhaled and bit down on my bottom lip to keep myself from whining in need. “I-it’s more than that, somehow. _I_ want him. The omega within me isn’t clouding my judgement for once. How is this possible?”

            Hanji stepped closer to me, giving a few sniffs. “You sure smell like an omega that’s about to go into heat, but you’re not behaving like one. Last time you went into heat, I had to inject you with quite a bit of serum to assuage the desire. Perhaps it damaged something vital. There’s no other explanation for this.”

            Instead of being concerned for my health, I asked, “Does this mean I’ll be able to retain some level of control over myself when my next heat cycle begins?”

            “I wouldn’t count on that considering Eren will most likely go into rut at the same time. If you happen to smell him, you’ll want his cock. Trust me.”

            I looked at her. “Way to keep it professional.”

            “Oh, you were talking to me as a doctor and not a friend? Forgive me.” She winked.

            I waved her off, and then turned my attention to Eren. He was leaning up against the wall, the heels of his palms pressed to his forehead as he took deep breaths to steady himself. “Eren, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were going to be here. Seeing you took me by surprise.”

            He shook his head. “It’s my fault, don’t apologize. I came here without letting you know ahead of time. I should have expected something like this to happen with how little we’ve seen each other this past week.” His shoulders convulsed as he took another breath. I stepped closer to him, a questioning whine seeping out of me. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. Just…give me a minute to recuperate.”

            “Is he really okay, Hanji?” I asked, concern coloring my tone.

            “Yep. He’s just dealing with some blue balls.”

            I shot around to glare at her through narrowed eyes. “Okay, talk to me like you’re my doctor.”

            “Levi, how many times have you made your alpha erect and haven’t relieved him? By my count, quite a few times. There’s built up pressure down there. He needs to ejaculate.” She smiled when I stared at her with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “As your friend: You need to make him come, babe. Give him a helping hand, if you know what I mean.”

            “C-can’t he do that himself?” I blabbered.

            “We’ve been discussing this for the past few days, actually. He can’t do it himself. He’s tried.” Her smiled widened when Eren groaned in embarrassment. “This is more proof that you’re destined mates. As you know, a marked alpha can no longer ejaculate on their own. They’re tied to their mate in every way possible, which is why letting an omega mark them is such a big decision for them.” She set the spray bottle down at her feet. “Eren hasn’t been marked by you, yet he still exhibits the same behavior as a marked alpha. Do you know what that means?”

            I looked from her to Eren. “Are you telling me that he won’t be able to come without me?”

            “Correct,” Hanji said. “Not unless you pass away and break the bond. In other words, as long as you’re still around, his nether regions are going to be in a heap of pain if you keep exuding those tempting pheromones.”

            This was too much. The reason behind me staying away from him this past week was to spare him. I still wasn’t sure about my health status. Now this? “I need to sit down.”

            “Here, you can lie down in one of the examining rooms.” She put her arm around my shoulders to guide me in another direction. “I’ll have Eren go and fetch you breakfast, because you need to eat these days.” She turned a bit to regard the alpha behind us. “Can you do that?”

            “Of course,” Eren said.

            I sighed. “You mean you need to keep slipping stuff into my food. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that Erwin has Nile set my food aside for me each morning.”

            “Shh, go into the room.”

            I didn’t argue with her. With everything that happened, I needed to lie down for a while.

            The room she led me into was small and sterile. There was a patient cot pushed up against the far wall with a pillow and folded sheet at the foot of it. It was ready for use for someone who came in feeling sick. In this case that someone was me.

            “Hold on a second,” Hanji said, unfurling the sheet to drape it over the bare cot. She fluffed up the pillow, then instructed me to lie back. Once I did, I threw my arm over my face. “Hey, don’t stress out about this. Eren understands that you’re not ready to do anything physical with him. He’s more than willing to wait for you.”

            I gritted my teeth, because that wasn’t the problem here. I _wanted_ to do things with him. God, I wanted to so much. “That’s not what’s bothering me.”

            “Then what is?”

            I added my other arm to my face, hopefully blocking it from her greedy eyes. “I—I…want to do stuff with him.”

            “But you don’t want to mate with him?”

            “Is it so wrong that I want to take things slow?”

            She flicked my arm, but I didn’t move it. “No, it’s not wrong, but if you do anything physical with him, you’ll have to trust him not to get carried away. The desire to mate with you will be strong. So will the desire to mark you.”

            “He respects me, Hanji. He’s held himself back this whole time because he doesn’t see me as just another omega.”

            “You _are_ more than just another omega to him. You’re his mate, someone he would do anything for. I know you feel the same way about him, so if you do trust him, then I say go for it. Let him eat you up.”

            My cheeks burned. “Sh-shut up!”

            “You’re adorable. You can break someone’s neck in five seconds flat, but when it comes to romance, you’re so clumsy. Don’t worry too much about that, though, because your instincts will guide you.” I heard her pull up a chair next to the cot. “I know you’re not planning to mate with Eren soon, but I still feel the need to tell you that due to your omega status, your anus is pretty sensitive.”

            I lifted my arm to stare at her. “Stop.”

            “I’m serious,” she went on. “Human males have prostate glands, which you have as well, but omega males also have other sensitive glands that create slick. All in all, you’ll probably come the second he enters you.”

            “Hanji, for the love of my sanity, shut up.”

            She held her hands up. “I just thought I would let you know, so you wouldn’t be surprised when you’re moaning yourself hoarse.” The knock that came at the door made me bolt upright. Before I had time to compose myself, Hanji called, “Come in.”

            The door eased open and Eren stepped into the room holding a food tray. He didn’t look at me as he ambled up to the cot. There was a tinge of pink coloring his cheeks and I realized he’d heard what Hanji and I were discussing seconds ago. If that didn’t make me want to burrow myself underground for the rest of my life, I didn’t know what would. Why couldn’t Hanji keep her mouth shut for longer than a couple seconds at a time? This made things more awkward than they already were.

            “Thank you,” I said as he put the tray down on my lap. There were two slices of whole-grain bread covered in smashed avocado with a sunny-side up egg on top of each. And, beside the plate, was an almond-banana smoothie in a drinking mason jar. I knew that he had done some bribing for that one. Nile wouldn’t whip that up for me of his own free will.

            Hanji rose to her feet and offered him the chair she’d been sitting in. “I have some paperwork to finish up in my office, so I’ll leave you two alone.” She scurried out of the room and the soft click of the door announced her departure. We were alone, and I had no idea what to say to him.

            “D-did you not get breakfast?” I asked, cursing myself for stammering. I was nervous and uncertain of how to proceed from here.

            “I ate before I came down to the medical wing.”

            “Oh ok.” I picked up a piece of toast and bit into it to save myself from having to talk more. He fidgeted in his seat, eyebrows drawing together. His scent told me that he was worried about something. “What’s wrong?”

            He shook his head. “It’s just—I haven’t seen you in a while. Your scent’s changed. It’s more medicinal now. Are you feeling okay?”

            It always used to annoy me when an alpha got overprotective of their omega mate, but now that I was in this position, I wanted nothing more than to be comforted by the man sitting before me. I wanted his arms around me, his scent on my skin, his reassuring words that would no doubt put me at ease. I wanted it all, so I set the tray aside and stood up. I wouldn’t let my pride stop me from doing this. It didn’t matter how long I’d resisted an alpha. This one was different. This one was mine.

            I pointed to the cot and said, “Sit down.”

            Eren looked skeptical at first, but did what I asked of him. When he was settled in, pulling his legs up to sit in a cross-legged position, I climbed back onto the cot and sat in his lap. Then I grabbed the tray and started to eat again, more comfortable than I’d been before. His scent relaxed me.

            “Levi, what—”

            “Be quiet,” I said. “Don’t act like this doesn’t pacify your alpha needs.”

            “I don’t want you to do this just to ease me.”

            “Shut up. Do I strike you as a person that would do this to ease an alpha?”

            He thought about it for a moment, and then his arms came around my waist. He nuzzled my neck. “You want me to do this?”

            “Yes,” I mumbled, embarrassed that he was making me say it out loud. “Now let me eat my breakfast.” I picked up the piece of toast, but put it back down when he just sat there doing nothing. “Do alpha things.”

            “What?”

            I squeezed my eyes shut and forced the words passed my lips. Why did this have to be so difficult? “I want you to act like an alpha for once. Don’t make me say it twice.”

            He snatched up the tray, nearly knocking the smoothie over with the harsh movement, and put it on the chair beside the cot. Then he turned me around, a low growl rumbling out of him as he brought our throats together. I buried my fingers in his hair, letting him spread his scent on me, craving it on my skin. When he switched to the other side, he said in a grating voice, “My omega.” He drew back, eyes ravenous, and massaged his scent gland with his fingers. His scent grew stronger, more potent, and a powerful hunger stirred deep within me. He scooped up my wrist and lifted it to his neck, where he ran it across his skin several times.

            He was making me smell of him, his scent overpowering my own. I’d never allowed him to mark me like this before, because I would smell him on my skin for days on end, but things were different now. I wanted this. Needed it almost desperately. I’d accepted him as my mate, and now I couldn’t be without him.  

            “Levi,” he breathed. “My Levi.” He kissed me, no— _took_ my mouth with his, tongue sliding beneath mine, flooding me with his taste. I went limp in his arms, allowing him to kiss me mindless.

            I knew that I belonged to him now. Whatever he wanted, I would give him.

            He broke the kiss and I noticed that his skin was pearly beneath his tan, eyes shining like pools of mercury. “Eren, your eyes…”

            “It means nothing.”

            I gaped at him. “Yes it does. It means that you’re a direct descendent of the first alpha ever born! No wonder you’re so strong. You’re of noble blood.”

            He turned his head to the side, hiding his eyes from me. “It doesn’t make a difference.”

            I grabbed his face and kissed him, hard. “It does,” I said in between kisses. “You can ravage towns with a flick of your finger, and your skin is impenetrable when it’s like this.” I caressed his arm, marveling at the pearly hue that mixed perfectly with his beige skin.

            “You sound proud of that.”

            “I am. My alpha is stronger than any other.”

            He growled and kissed me back. He liked it when I called him mine. “I only want to use this strength to protect you.”

            “And you will.” I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest. “I can’t promise you that I’m okay, but I want us to try.”    

            “Try?”

            “There are things aside from mating we can do,” I said. “I want to ease your suffering.” He opened his mouth, but I continued before he could say anything. “I want you, as well. So don’t think I feel obligated to do this.”

            Eren’s scent grew feral with desire. I loved it. “When?”

            “Tonight. After dinner. I’ll meet you at your apartment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noble blooded Eren? Yes please!
> 
> Of course there will be further explanation about this in later chapters. There's a lot to being a noble alpha. ;)  
> But the thought of Eren with pearly skin and silver eyes drives me mad. Then again, Eren himself drives me mad. *thirst for Eren intensifies*
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say about this late update is life gave me a grim reminder (yes, I'm using SnK terminology) that I am merely human and sometimes even I need to slow tf down. I'm very stubborn, so it quite literally took me flailing around in tears to discover that I needed a break. So, long story short, I ended up taking a spur of the moment vacation with my boyfriend and then when I returned to the real world, I had tons of work to catch up on. Needless to say, there are many reason why this chapter is late as all hell. :')
> 
> But, go on and read?

The family portrait on Erwin’s desk always reminded me of how cruel and ruthless the humans were toward our kind. In it, he stood next to his wife while their two children lay in the grass in front of them. They were all smiling. A happy family that would soon be torn apart by people who thought them monsters, things that should’ve never been born. Human soldiers raided his house while he’d been at work one Monday morning. When he came home, expecting to sit down with his family for dinner, he found them dead in the kitchen instead. They were slaughtered in cold blood, although they had put up no resistance.

            His daughters, Justine and McKenna, had only been eight and ten. They never stood a chance against the men that broke into their home, yet they both took a bullet to the back of the head simply for being betas. That’s all the humans saw when they looked at those two girls: someone who could give birth to more unwanted creatures that would let their instincts guide them.

            How could Erwin look at this picture of them every day? Did seeing their smiling faces encourage him to avenge their deaths? Did it fuel him to continue to fight in this war that had never been in our favor?

            My attention was drawn elsewhere when the door to his office swung open. He stepped into the room and gave me a quick glance before he returned his gaze to the paper he held. He walked to his desk and asked, “Do you know why I asked you here today?”

            “Not a clue,” I admitted.

            He took a seat and then handed the paper to me. “We discussed this matter the day before Eren arrived here, so it doesn’t surprise me that you’ve forgotten about it.” When I peered down at the paper he’d given me, he said, “Those are the names of the new recruits that will be watching over your training sessions for the next couple of weeks. They arrived this morning. They’re currently receiving a tour of the grounds. The reason I wanted to meet with you on such short notice is because it’s imperative that you’re on your best behavior today.”

            It was true that I’d forgotten all about this. After Eren entered my life, all my thoughts revolved around him in some way. Even now, as I held this paper filled with names of people who were ready to put their lives at stake for the residents here at the sanctuary, I was thinking about my alpha. I could taste him on my tongue, smell him on my skin. It was distracting, which is how I knew why Erwin had gone out of his way to see me before training began. A lot of new recruits joined because of me, the omega that defied all logic. I couldn’t deviate from that image—now more than ever.

            “I’ll behave like I always do,” I said, scanning over the names. None of them caught my attention. Just another bundle of people that were eager to fight, or provide for their kind. It was rare that you found people who wanted to do both.

            Erwin cracked a grin. “Normally you don’t reek of alpha.”

            I bared my teeth at him, angry in spite of myself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            “Your reputation precedes you, Levi. You’re known as the omega that has never submitted to an alpha. The only omega that can stand face to face with one and not cower to his instincts.”

            “And you think that’s changed?” I said through clenched teeth. “If you think I’ll submit to any alpha other than Eren, you’re wrong. He’s the only one.”

            “That may be true, but these new recruits won’t see it that way. Especially with how you smell right now. If one of them catches sight of your neck, what conclusion do you think they’ll come to?”

            “What do you expect me to do about that?”

            Erwin opened the top drawer of his desk and took something out of it. He placed a round bar of soap on top of a stack of papers. “To begin with, I want you to wash Eren’s scent off.”

            “That’s impossible,” I said. Even if I showered, no soap would be strong enough to mask Eren’s scent.

            “With this it is possible. Hanji made it.”

            “Of course she did.” I snatched up the offensive bar of soap and brought it up to my nose. It smelt chemical and wrong. I had no doubt that it could rid me of Eren’s scent, which pissed me off to no end. “You’re not giving me any other choice, are you?”

            “I’m afraid I can’t,” he said. “You need to appear a certain way to these new recruits in order for them to accept you as the person that will lead them outside the walls. That means you have to be as you were before Eren came along. That’s what they’re expecting from their future captain, and that’s exactly what they need to see if they’re going to put their trust in you.”

            Meaning I would have to treat Eren as I would any other alpha. I’d have to look at him in front of a room full of people and pretend to feel nothing when our eyes met. And even when we weren’t training, I would have to maintain this cold demeanor towards him, because the new recruits would be around from this day forward. Erwin wouldn’t want me to slip up in front of them at any given time. So when would I be able to look at Eren without worrying who was watching? When would I be able to touch him? To have his scent on my skin?

            I shook my head in hopes of reigning in these foreign emotions that were making it hard to breathe. How had I come to crave these things from him so desperately?

            “Is that all?” I asked, wanting to get out of Erwin’s office as soon as possible. Since I couldn’t bathe in the communal showers, there was only one place I could go for this last minute clean up.

            “Yes.” As I went to stand up, he added, “Don’t worry about telling Eren about any of this. I plan on speaking to him within the next hour. I think he’ll take it better if he hears it from me.”

            I doubted that. “Whatever you say.”

            I left his office and hurried toward the medical wing, hoping I didn’t run into anyone along the way. Whether Hanji was busy or not, she was going to answer some questions about this soap before I used it. Her creations weren’t exactly dependable. It was either a hit or miss when she rushed to make something last minute, which I believed was the case here, so I wasn’t about to risk having my skin suddenly disintegrate if this soap of hers happened to be a little too effective in removing an alpha’s scent.

            I was so consumed in my thoughts, furious with it, that I didn’t even notice the person walking my way until it was too late. We collided head on.

            “Shit,” I hissed, stumbling back a few steps.

            “In a hurry?” the man said as he reached out to steady me. His scent…

            Alpha. He was an alpha, and one I hadn’t met before, which meant he was a new recruit.

            I had to get away before he realized who I was.

            “Excuse me,” I said, keeping my face lowered. I tried to walk around him, but he kept a firm grip on my forearm. I clenched my teeth together to bite back the words that wanted to spill from my mouth. My instincts demanded that I get away from him. He wasn’t my alpha. I didn’t want him touching me.

            “I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?” he said, a smile in his voice. “The alpha that scent marked you won’t like that I touched you. Is that why you’re struggling to get away?”

            I snatched my arm out of his grasp, seething. “Fuck off.”

            “Oh, an omega that fights back. You must be Captain Levi, then. The one I heard so much about.”

            I lifted my gaze and was met with playful brown eyes. “Who are you?”

            “Jean Kirstein, at your service.”

            “Why aren’t you with the other recruits, Jean? As I’m assuming you are one of the new trainees that were brought here this morning.”

            “You assume right, but what can I say? I got bored,” he said with a shrug. “So I decided to explore the grounds on my own. Can’t say I regret it. I was the first one to meet the legendary Captain Levi, although I wasn’t expecting you to belong to an alpha. It’s kind of disappointing.”

            I clenched my fists at my sides. “I _don’t_ belong to an alpha.”

            “Your scent says otherwise.”

            It was useless to get into this with him. The best thing to do would be to send him on his way and get down to the medical wing as fast as I could. Talking to him about my current unmarked status wouldn’t help me in this situation, because he was right. My scent said it all. I’d let an alpha scent mark me in an intimate manner. No unwilling omega would allow that to happen and he knew it.

            “You need to get back to the other recruits,” I said in a clipped tone, pushing down my instincts and assuming the dominant position. This alpha was nothing. I’d prove to him that I wasn’t beneath him. It didn’t matter what he was used to. Unlike other omegas he’d come across, I wouldn’t submit.  

            “Is that an order?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth. He was mocking me.

            I stepped up to him and didn’t flinch when his scent changed into something menacing. He was trying to scare me, but I’d come face to face with alphas much stronger than him. “Yes, that’s an order.”

            He stared me down for a long moment, eyes narrowing, but I didn’t relent. After another moment, he eased back and smiled. “Amazing. Any other omega would’ve showed signs of submission, but you’re not afraid of me, are you?” He stuck his hand out. “It’s nice to officially meet you, sir.”

            “You were testing me.” I didn’t state it as a question, because I knew that’s what he’d been doing.

            “I had to see if the stories about you were true.”

            I looked down at his hand. “I don’t have time for your little games. I have more important things to do. Now get back to the other recruits and don’t venture out on your own anymore.” I stepped around him. “And before you ask, that is an order. If I find out you wandered off again, I’ll report you to Erwin.”

            I didn’t stick around to hear his response. Although I wasn’t frightened of him, it was a bit alarming how he managed to stand so close to me when I smelled of an alpha that was much stronger than him. His instincts should’ve told him to keep away, that I belonged to someone that could take him with ease, but he stood next to me like it’d been nothing. How would he behave when I no longer had Eren’s scent on me?

            When I arrived at the medical wing, I found Hanji cooped up in her office. She was hunched over her desk as she peered through a duo-scope. There was also an opened bag of potato chips beside it, which meant she planned on staying in here until she figured out whatever she was trying to figure out.

            “You’re not supposed to have that,” I said.

            She waved her hand around without lifting her head. “I’m trying to cure you. I can’t do that if I follow the rules Erwin set.”

            “Is that why you created this?” I held up the bar of soap.

            She finally peeled her eyes away from the duo-scope to look up at me. “I created that for your own good. The new recruits can’t find out that you and Eren are a thing. If they do, they’ll want to make sure that you’ve mated with him, because if you haven’t…” she trailed off.

            If I hadn’t mated with him, or received the bond mark that would physically tie me to him, then my instincts could go haywire at any moment. That could result in me going into heat at random, and if that happened out in the field, I would be putting everyone at risk. My pheromones would lure in any nomad alphas in the area, which would draw the attention of human soldiers. Not to mention the fact that Eren would do anything—harm anyone—that tried to hurt me in any way. It didn’t matter how much self-control he had. If someone had the intention of wounding his mate, he would tear them apart. And I would do the same to anyone who sought to injure him.

            “Did you test this stuff out on someone already?” I asked, knowing I couldn’t get out of this.

            “I have, and it’s safe to use once a day. No more than that, though.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me about this when I was in here earlier?”

            “You were already stressing out about Eren, so I didn’t want to add more to that.”

            I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I stayed that way until the pounding in my head became manageable. Then I said, “Lend me your badge. I’m going to use one of the hospital rooms to shower.”

            Hanji slipped off the lanyard that was around her neck and held it out to me. “Here. Mike just cleaned room twelve.”

            “Good to know.” I turned around and headed for the door, ready to get this over with, even when I wasn’t looking forward to the results.

            “Levi?”

            I stopped, but didn’t look back at her. I knew what expression was on her face and I didn’t want to see it.

            “I’m sorry everything is going to shit,” she said. “I’m doing everything I can to figure this out.”

            “I know you are.”

            But would it even make a difference at this point?

 

\---

 

I scanned the line of people in front of me. There were the familiar faces of my squad, then there were the ones I’d never seen before today. The new recruits. But among all of them, there was one face missing. The most important one of all.

            Eren. He wasn’t here, although training had begun five minutes ago.

            Where could he be?

            “Training will commence in a few minutes,” I announced, surprised that my voice came out sturdy. I felt incomplete without Eren’s scent on my skin, like a part of me had been taken away against my will. It was hard to speak through the rising emotions. “Although there are new recruits joining us, they will not be taking part in today’s training. They are here to observe and nothing more.” I eyed Jean, who’s scent told me he wanted to do more than just watch. His eyes flicked over to Farlan, a challenge in his gaze. If he kept that up, I would have to send him into another room. I didn’t want to deal with an alpha brawl. “Did you hear me, Jean? You won’t be training with us today. I expect you to keep your hands to yourself.”

            Jean regarded me with a smirk that spoke in volumes. “Duly noted, sir.”

            “I’m going to—” The sound of a growl interrupted me midsentence. A moment later, Eren came stalking into the room with eyes that were wild and bloodthirsty. I watched him as he made his way toward the locker room, but he never once lifted his gaze to look at me. “Uh,” I fumbled, attempting to gather myself before I rushed after him. “When I read off your names, step forward.” I glanced down at the paper in my hand. Anything to tear my eyes away from Eren. “Sasha Blouse, Connie Springer, Annie Leonhart, Jean Kirstein, Thomas Wagner, and Ymir.” There were three new alphas in my ranks. Jean, Annie, and Ymir. Their scent made it easy to spot them amongst the others. “These are the new recruits that will be joining us from this day forward.”

            “So that’s the alpha,” Jean said in excitement. He was looking at the locker room door. The one that Eren disappeared behind. “The one I smelled on—”

            “Jean,” I interjected, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence, “and all the other new recruits, I want you to find a spot away from the center of the room. As for everyone else, find a partner and begin training.”

            I was about to head to the locker room when Eren came bursting out with nothing but a pair of basketball shorts on. Judging by his expression, he hadn’t taken the news about me having to wash off his scent well. I wondered if Erwin was still in one piece.

            “Am I pairing up with Farlan today?” Eren asked when he reached everyone. He was too eager to send his fists flying. I could tell that much by his rigid posture.

            Isabel made a noise of alarm in the back of her throat. I knew she was concerned about her mate, the person that’d been sparring with Eren for the past week, but I wasn’t going to pair my alpha with anyone today. Not with how he was behaving.

            Right now, he was dangerous, and that didn’t frighten me as I thought it would. If anyone was going to meet his fists, it would be me.

            “No. You’ll be pairing up with me for this session,” I said.

            Eren’s eyes widened. He hadn’t been expecting that response. “What?”

            “You heard me. Or do you think you can’t handle me as your partner?”

            His entire demeanor changed. “Oh, I can handle you,” he said, voice dropping.

            Petra cleared her throat. “Captain Levi, I know it’s not my place to interfere, but may I suggest using a weapon of some sort?”

            “I don’t need a weapon. We’re just sparring, Petra.”

            “I know you don’t, but I would feel more comfortable if you had one on you.” She signaled to Farlan, who leaned to the side and grabbed one of my trademark push daggers that hung on the wall. I didn’t use them unless I was out in human territory. They came in handy as last minute resorts, when I ran out of bullets.

            “Fine,” I relented, snatching the dagger from Farlan so I could shut them both up. I tucked it into the waistband of my shorts to free my hands. Then I turned back to Eren. “Ready?”

            He sank down into a fighting stance, muscles tightening. “Whenever you are.”        

            Whether it was because we’d made plans to meet with each other tonight, or his scent was simply too overpowering, but I was finding it hard to remain in control of myself. I wanted nothing more than to throw him down on the ground and taste him, even when everyone in the room had their eyes on us. It was by sheer willpower alone that I stayed rooted to the spot I was in.

            Raising my fists to eye level, I mirrored his movements and sunk down into a wider stance. We circled one another, but it wasn’t long before he darted forward, fist rushing toward my face in a flash of motion. I was able to dart it with ease. After watching him spar with Farlan for the past week, I knew he was holding back. Probably testing my speed. Sizing me up.

            “I know you’re faster than that,” I said.

            He smirked. “Just warming up, sir.”

            “I’m sure you are.”

            I spun around and extended my leg, but it didn’t connect to the side of his head like I’d planned it to. My foot smashed against his forearm instead. He had blocked the kick without even trying. I went to right myself, but he snatched my ankle with his free hand before I could, knocking me off balance. I swayed on my foot, but he wrapped his arm around my back to steady me. Then he pulled our bodies together and my breath hitched in my throat.

            “Still too slow for you?” he asked in a ragged voice, mouth inches from mine.

            I shoved him back to put some much needed distance between us. “Not too close, Alpha.”

            “I don’t think I’m close enough.” He edged closer to me, his scent wrapping around me and making my head fuzzy.         

            I threw a punch, wanting to stop his advancement before desire could color my scent, but he caught my wrist. Desperate, I raised my knee and rammed it into his stomach. That only caused his grip to tighten. He was backing me up against the nearest wall and I could hear the intake of breath from the people surrounding us. We were stepping into dangerous territory, crossing a line we weren’t meant to cross. Yet, despite knowing that this could lead to trouble for the both of us, I couldn’t stop him. He was much stronger than me, and right now he was too riled up to contain himself.

            When my back finally met the wall, I pulled the dagger from my waistband and brought it up to his neck. The blade was so sharp that it sliced through the skin without me applying pressure to it. A thin trail of blood trickled down to his collarbone. It was vivid against his skin, which shimmered from tanned to pearl. He was losing control of himself. The alpha inside him was taking over.

            “That won’t stop me,” he growled, eyes flickering from green to silver.

            I swallowed, then whispered, “Not here.”

            “There are two unmarked alphas in this room with us and you can no longer trace my scent on your skin. There are emotions that not even I can control under such circumstances.” He leaned in, uncaring of the blade pressed to his throat. “I’m losing my fucking mind here.”

            I stared into his eyes and said nothing, because no amount of words would put him at ease. Not when the room was filled with the potent smell of unknown alphas on edge. Alphas that were willing and ready to fight.   

            “What are you doing standing around?” I heard Farlan shout. “I believe Captain Levi told us to train. Come on. Let’s get to it. We have an expedition in less than two weeks. We can’t afford to laze around.”

            It took some persuading, but after a few minutes of hesitation, others began training alongside us. I could hear several of them comment on my current position, but none of them attempted to come between Eren and me. I knew why that was without having to look their way. Eren’s scent warned them to keep their distance, and no one was willing to defy the threat that hung in the air. It was obvious who was the strongest here.

            I withdrew the dagger at last, keeping my voice low as I said, “Go to the locker room.”

            Instead of leaving before me, Eren grabbed my hand and took me along with him, ignoring the presence of everyone in the room with us. The moment he pushed open the door to the locker room, I was in his arms, his lips on mine. I didn’t even try to resist. I could sense how much he needed this, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t need it just as much. So I gave in.

            “I can’t stand this,” he growled into my mouth as he lifted me up and pressed my back against the lockers behind me. “Your scent…”

            “I didn’t have a say in the matter.”

            “Those alphas—All but one is unmarked. How could Erwin order you to get rid of your only defense against them and expect me not to react?” He touched his forehead to mine. “I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, that you’ve done so in the past, but I can’t do this.”

            Was this my punishment? Did evading what I was for so long lead to this? There were so many barriers standing between us. So many things that were determined to keep us apart. By holding on, I was hurting him. I was foolish to think this would work out any other way. We weren’t meant to be together. I’d accepted my fate long before he arrived, and now I had to live with it.

            I couldn’t go on giving him false hope.  

            “I have to go back out there,” I whispered.

            “Levi, please… Stay here with me.”

            I shook my head, pulling away from him. “I can’t.”

            “Levi—”

            “I can’t, Eren.”

            _I don’t want to hurt you._

I left the locker room and didn’t look back, my heart aching with every step I took away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly feel bad, because a lot of you were expecting them to do the do, or at least do something, but then it ends like this. I thought things would go differently, as well (I swear I did), but sometimes our characters take us in a whole other direction and that's exactly what Levi keeps doing to me. 
> 
> I'm sorry. *offers you cookies*


	13. Chapter 13

I was a coward, pushing away the one person I wanted the most. Why else would I follow Erwin’s rules without question? When he’d asked me to wash Eren’s scent off, he presented me with the perfect excuse to create distance between us, and what had I done? I reached out and took it, because I was still afraid. Afraid of wanting Eren. Afraid of giving into my instincts. Afraid of what would happen during the upcoming expedition. In this field of work, deaths were inevitable. I’d accepted that long ago, but the thought of losing Eren, my mate, my alpha, hurt more than I thought possible. I didn’t want to let him in just to watch him die. And with the way this war was going, all of us would be wiped out soon enough.

            I’d made my choice when I walked out of that locker room. I chose my career, one that I’d been more than willing to give up whenever I allowed Hanji to inject me with another dose of suppressants. When that serum ran through my veins, I took another step closer to death, yet I’d convinced myself I was doing it to uphold my reputation. That was laughable, because it turned out to be a lie. It took finding someone that made me want to live to see that. So what was I fighting for now? I didn’t know anymore. Everything was complicated, tangled up and undecipherable. One thing was clear, though: If I didn’t make up my mind on what I wanted, Eren would stop waiting for me.

            I turned onto my back, wincing as my muscles protested the movement, and stared up at the ceiling. Lights out had been hours ago, but I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was brimming with thoughts that wouldn’t allow me a moment’s peace. But what else had I expected to happen when I went out of my way to miss dinner to avoid Eren? I’d even skipped out on our plans to meet at his apartment.  

            “When did you become such a coward, Levi Ackerman?” I said into the darkness, my voice small and pathetic.

            Amidst the sheets, I was a concretion of pain. Heat lapped at my muscles, tightening and grinding them against my bones. These were the consequences of going an entire day without Eren’s scent on my skin. I knew if I went another twenty-four hours without it, I would go into heat. My body was calling out to him in the only way it knew how, by trying to lure him in with my scent.

            Why had Erwin asked this of me? What was his plan?

            I sat up in bed and slid my legs over the side. After I coaxed my limbs to cooperate with me long enough to stand up, I made my way over to the mini fridge in the corner of the room. I’d almost made it there when someone knocked on the door, hard enough to startle me a few steps back. I lurched to a stop, pressing a hand to my chest in hopes of settling the erratic thumping of my heart, and listened. Nothing. Then...

            “Levi.” Eren’s voice, scratched raw.

            I shivered as I stared at the door, picturing him on the other side of it.

            He’d come for me. He hadn’t given up yet.

            “Levi,” Eren repeated in the same voice that made my insides boil, “open the door.” Although his tone was calm, there was no mistaking the command in it. I’d never heard him like this before. My entire body responded to it.

            Not trusting my voice to remain steady, I walked up to the door and pressed my forehead against the cool wood. His scent was heady and demanding. I inhaled deeply, imagining the taste of him on my tongue, and moaned in the back of my throat. He wasn’t holding back. Would his skin be the brilliant pearlescent of his ancestors? His eyes the deep shade of silver that revealed just how strong he truly was? Whenever he gave into his alpha essence, the royal blood running through his veins became stronger, more potent.

            I ached for it.  

            “Why did you come here?” I asked in a whisper, but I knew he could hear me.

            “Because you’re mine.”

            I expected to feel nothing but irritation when someone claimed me for their own. It was a natural reaction, at this point, but the emotion that flooded through me as those words left his mouth was satisfaction. _Yes, I’m your omega. Only yours._ “I can’t let you into the room,” I heard myself say, a knee-jerk response. I didn’t know how to succumb to this desire coursing through me. I didn’t know how to submit to him, even when my body begged me to. The things I said were contradicting how I felt.

            “Then tell me to leave. Tell me to go, and I will.”

            That’s all it would take?

            “I...” The words died in my throat long before I could speak them. Although I could force them out, everything in me objected it.  

            “You can’t do it, can you? Because you want me to stay. Can’t you see that, Levi?”

            I gritted my teeth, resisting for the sake of resisting now. “I can do it.”

            “What are you waiting for, then? Say it.”

            If I told him to leave, I would go back to staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night with aches that were bone deep. Did I want that? Or was I ready to face up to how I felt about him? Was I ready to admit that he was all I wanted?

            I yanked the door open and wasn’t given a moment to collect my thoughts before Eren claimed my mouth with his own. He stepped into the room as he lifted me into his arms. His palms were hot on the small of my back and I arched under his touch. As he nipped a trail down my jawline, he said, “Tell me you don’t want me.” He stopped at my ear, and in that moment it felt like the entire world was at a standstill. “I need to hear you say the words. Otherwise I’ll never stop chasing after you. So if you really don’t want me as your mate, then tell me right now. I don’t want any more excuses. I want the truth.”

            I drew my head back to look at him. His silver eyes, which somehow held a light of their own, burned with an intensity that struck at my heart. Yet I couldn’t say the words. I couldn’t admit the truth.

            Why? Why was it so hard, even now?

            “What are you so afraid of?” he asked.

            I swallowed and clutched at the front of his shirt, like that simple action would keep him by my side, but unless I told him how I felt, he would leave. I would push him into that decision. _So say the words. Say them._ “Of losing you,” I whispered as I dropped my head to keep my face from view. “I’m afraid of losing you. Before you came into my life, I had nothing to lose. It was just me. Even the people I call friends weren’t enough. No one was ever enough, but you... You’re all that matters to me now, and I can’t even protect you out there.”

            “Levi, look at me.” He slid his hand beneath my chin and tilted my head back. When our eyes met, he said, “You won’t lose me.”

            “You can’t be sure of that. We don’t know what will happen out there. I don’t want to tie myself to you in a world like this.”

            “So you find every excuse you can to keep pushing me away?” He stepped back. “Will you be satisfied with that, then?”

            “Be satisfied with what?”

            “If I die out on the field, and you didn’t bind yourself to me in any way before then, will you be satisfied with that? Is that what you choose?” He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. I could feel his sturdy heartbeat beneath my palm. “Or will you choose to put your trust in me, and believe me when I tell you that I can protect the both of us? I won’t let any harm come to you on this upcoming expedition. Have you forgotten what I am?”

            “You’re an alpha,” I murmured.

            “I’m more than that.”

            I caught sight of his pearly skin, of his silver eyes. “A royal alpha.”

            “Yes,” he said. “The other day, when you gave me permission to behave like an alpha, I revealed what I was to you by accident. Whenever I allow my instincts to take control, I shift into this form. I’ve always hated this part of me, but I can protect you this way. That’s what matters now.”

            “Why were you keeping it from me?”

            “Another part of my agreement with Erwin. When he brought me here to the sanctuary, I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay, seeing as he lied to me about how many soldiers were residing here. Then I went into rut, so I asked to be put in a secluded area to ride it out. I was planning to leave once it was over, but then they sent you in to talk to me, and after that I agreed to the terms Erwin set in order to remain here. From the moment you stepped into that confinement chamber, I’ve been living for you.”

            I looked up at him. “So you lied to me back then? You made it seem like you were brought here against your will.”

            “I had to keep up with that façade,” he said. “That’s how Erwin wanted it.”

            “You’re a royal alpha and yet you obey the orders of Commander Smith.”

            Eren rested his forehead against mine with a sigh. “At first it was to gain entry into Shiganshina. Then it was for you. But now that he’s gone against me by asking you to wash my scent off your skin, I won’t follow his rules like I have been. If he has a problem with that, I could always take command of his people.” 

            “How can you do that?” I looked at him in confusion. “The people here at the sanctuary have chosen him as their leader. They won’t defy him for you.”

            “I am a direct descendent of the first alpha ever born. My ancestor was the beginning of our kind. How do you think I’ve survived this long without protection? Why the humans have gone through great lengths to hunt me down?” He lifted my hand to his lips. “If I am in this form, our kind will submit to me without question. Their instincts will see to that, because I cannot be physically harmed when I’m like this. You said it yourself. My skin is impenetrable.”

            “But I haven’t submitted to you...”

            He smiled. “That’s because you’re my mate. I have no power over you. You are my only weakness.”

            It made sense now. After the reason behind Nanaba’s death came to light, Erwin was going to send me to another facility and strip me of my title, but Eren had demanded that he change their agreement. I couldn’t believe when Erwin allowed that to happen without putting up any type of argument. It went against his nature, but now I understood why. If what Eren was claiming was true, then he could overthrow Commander Smith with ease. So of course Erwin preferred to have him on our side rather than as an enemy, but then why would he put everything on the line by ordering me to remove Eren’s scent? There had to be a reason behind this decision of his. He wouldn’t be reckless at a time like this.   

            “Levi?” Eren said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

            I blinked several times before I focused on him. “Yes?”

            “What will you choose?”

            That’s what it all came down to, wasn’t it? The reason we were here to begin with. What choice would I make?

            The answer was clear to me. I’d just been too stubborn to see it.

            “It wouldn’t hurt any less,” I stated.

            “What wouldn’t?”

            I shook my head. This whole time I’d been so blind to the truth, so reluctant to admit to myself that I was already tied to him without the mating mark. That I was already his. “You asked me if I would be satisfied if we weren’t bound and something happened to you on the expedition? The answer is no. I wouldn’t be satisfied at all. It wouldn’t hurt any less to lose you now, because I already can’t be without you.” I reached up and touched my mother’s key, the one I’d given him after our visit to the waterfall. The metal glinted in the darkness.

            “So your answer is?” he asked. There was such hope in his voice, it would be hard to miss. How many times had I crushed that hope?

            Too many times.

            “When I gave you this key, I asked for time. I asked for patience. You’ve given me both, even when I didn’t deserve it.” I made eye contact with him while I reached up and cupped his cheek. He leaned into my touch. “I’m going to put my trust in you, Eren, because you’re right. I’m yours. I always have been.”

            He visibly sagged in relief. “You’re mine?”

            “Yes.”

            Eren’s eyes burned with hunger as he brushed a finger along my scent gland. I bit down on my lip to keep any sounds locked inside. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, but all he did was trace unrecognizable patterns on my skin. I whined, impatient, and he smiled. “Tell me what you want.”

            “Touch me.”

            “I’m already touching you.”

            I beat my fists against his chest. “You know what I mean.”

            “I don’t want to hurt you. You haven’t slept well in the past week and you’ve grown weak.” His eyes flicked in the direction of the radio clock on my nightstand. “We also need to be up for breakfast in three hours. You should sleep for the rest of the night. You need it.” Before I could protest, he brought our necks together. I went limp in his arms as he spread his scent on my skin. _Perfect._ “Plus,” he whispered into my ear in a husky voice, “three hours isn’t long enough. When I take you for the first time, I want to take my time.”

            I clung onto him, nails biting into the fabric of his shirt. I had half a mind to tear the damn thing off so I could feel the skin hidden underneath it, but he was right. Neither of us had slept much since I decided to avoid him, and we needed our strength for what was to come tomorrow. Erwin wouldn’t be happy about us going against his rules for the second time. He wouldn’t let this disobedience slide. “Give me this,” I said, grabbing a handful of Eren’s shirt. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow. I wanted to get lost in this moment, because the present was all we had.

            “My shirt?”

            “Yes.”

            Setting me down, and making sure I was steady on my feet before he released his hold on me, Eren slipped out of his shirt. I didn’t wait for him to hand it to me. I snatched it out of his grasp and put it on in a huff. It was big on me—which wasn’t surprising, considering our height difference—but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that his scent was woven into the material. Whenever I moved, more of it rubbed off on my skin. “Mm.” I held my arms out to him, content and warm in his shirt. “Take me to bed now.”

            He didn’t move. He had gone completely rigid. When I made a noise of irritation, he said, “Hold on.” He took several deep breaths, hands clenched tight at his sides. After several minutes passed with him holding this position, he seemed to relax some. “Okay. I’m in control now.”

            “Sure about that?” I gazed into his silver eyes. “You’re still sporting your royal traits, Alpha.”

            “I would shift back into my normal form, but if Erwin sends anyone here, I want to be prepared.” He pulled me into his arms and I buried my face against his neck, inhaling his unique scent. “If I remember correctly, you like this part of me. You said you were proud that your alpha was stronger than any other.”

            “Don’t get cocky now.”

            He chuckled. “Not cocky. Just happy.”

            I was happy, too. Although I would never admit that out loud. I expected to sleep alone tonight, to toss and turn in my bed until the arrival of dawn forced me to pull myself together long enough to pretend I was fine in front of people that didn’t matter to me. Now I would be sleeping in my alpha’s arms, with his scent emanating from my skin. The discomfort I’d felt earlier was nothing but a memory. The pain in my bones was subsiding to a dull ache. I was so comfortable that I was already falling asleep.

            When Eren eased me down onto my bed, the sheets cool on my bare skin, I kept my arms around his neck. I didn’t want to let go of him.

            “Stay close to me,” I mumbled sleepily.

            He placed his knee on the side of the bed. The mattress dipped under his weight as he coaxed his shoe off. He repeated this for the other one, and then laid down next to me. I pressed myself closer to him and made a soft noise of approval when he slid his fingers into my hair. “Sleep now, Levi. I’m staying right here.”

            Carefully tucked away in his arms, I drifted off to sleep.

 

\---

 

“Levi, hey, it’s time to wake up.”

            I opened my eyes at the sound of Eren’s voice. He was sitting beside me on the bed with a tray of food on his lap. I gave him a quick once over. He was still as shirtless as he was when we went to bed last night, which meant he’d either gone out looking that way, or someone had brought my breakfast to the room. Scooching lower on the bed, I pressed my face against his bare side. His skin was warm and soft, unbelievably tempting. “Did you go out and get that for me?” I asked while I resisted the urge to bite him. For some reason I wanted to sink my teeth into his flesh, to taste the vague saltiness on his skin. My instincts were making me squirm in anticipation. I was desperate for him.

            “No. Farlan and Isabel brought it over. They figured you wouldn’t want to eat in the dining hall with how you’ve been feeling lately.”

            “They figured right.” I sat up to put some distance between us, and stretched my arms above my head. He set the tray down on my lap and I stared at the food Nile had prepared for me. I had no idea what it was, but it smelled good enough. “Do you happen to know what this is?”

            Eren glanced down. “Isabel said it was Apple-Cinnamon Quinoa bars. If you don’t want that, I could always get you something else.”

            “No, it’s fine.” I picked up the fork that was beside the plate and sliced a piece off. I popped it into my mouth, chewing slowly. “It’s not bad. Here. Try some.”

            “That’s okay. You should eat it all.”

            I huffed and held a bar out to him. “Take a bite.”

            He smiled in a crooked way that turned my insides into goo. “Fine. You win.” He bit into the bar and I grinned in satisfaction. “That actually tastes better than I expected it to.”

            “Mhm. Now take it. There’s two here, and you’re eating one.”

            “Are you always this demanding?” He kissed my cheek. “Not that I mind. I’m just curious.”

            “No,” I said. “Usually I don’t care when someone eats or not.”

            He froze while he was in the process of grabbing the bar. He looked comical, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. “You care if I eat or not?”

            “Is that so surprising?” I rolled my eyes. “You _are_ my mate.”

            “I know that. I just wasn’t sure if you...liked me or not. With how things were going, I was beginning to doubt.”

            “How could you doubt that?”

            He shrugged. “You were fighting your instincts with everything you had. I thought that was the only thing that was attracting you to me, since we are destined mates.”

            I put the plate on the nightstand and crawled into his lap. I bit into his scent gland and he shook beneath me as his hands shot to my waist. “It’s not just my instincts that make me want you, Eren. I like everything about you.”

            “S-so you haven’t changed your mind?”

            “About choosing you?”

            “Yes,” he said.

            I sucked on his neck and relished the deep groan it pulled out of him. “I haven’t changed my mind, and I won’t change it. I’m done fighting this.” I went back to sucking on his neck until I was absolutely sure that I left a mark behind. I leaned back and stared at my handy work. “There. Mina won’t be able to miss that.”

            “Who?” Eren asked in a breathy voice. He looked blissed out.

            “Mina. The girl that wanted to eat lunch with you. You don’t remember her?”

            “No. Why should I? You’re the only one I want.”

            I turned my head to hide my smile. “Good. Let’s finish our breakfast now. We have a lot to do today.”

            But I wasn’t afraid of what was to come. We would face Erwin together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was late. I had a lot going on, but things have gotten better, so I'm hoping it won't take me long to update once again.
> 
> Anywho, a lot of people were angry with Levi last chapter. I'm hoping this one washed away those feelings. *sweats*  
> I also hope that you guys won't think too harshly about Erwin. He's not some bad guy lurking in the dark. He had his reasons for doing what he did, which will be revealed next chapter. Actually, a lot will be going on next chapter. I'm looking forward to it. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

It would be foolish to go about this alone. It didn’t matter how strong Eren was, or what influence he could have over the people here at the sanctuary. He was vulnerable because of me. If Erwin found a way to use that knowledge against him, things could get ugly fast. I wanted to avoid that at all costs, so I was going to the one person who could help me at a time like this. Hanji. If there was someone who had read up on royal alphas and their unique traits, it was her, and right now we needed all the information we could get. 

            Breakfast had come and gone without anyone noticing our absence at the dining hall. In a couple hours, we were due at the training grounds, and by then we had to have a plan to work with. So we headed to the medical wing right after we showered. Luck must’ve been on our side, because we didn’t run into anyone along the way. The corridors were empty. Which struck me as odd. Perhaps Erwin was already onto us, and was simply toying with us now. Letting us believe we had the advantage when we didn’t.

            “Are you sure we can trust Hanji?” Eren asked as we stopped in front of the medical wing double doors. His eyes were back to their usual green, but that didn’t make them any less menacing. I knew what lurked beneath the surface, what kind of strength he could call upon.  

            I scanned my badge barcode into the access control machine, half expecting the light to remain red. When it flicked to green, I pushed the door open with a sigh of relief. “Hanji is one of the only people here that I’ve come to trust. She may come off as ditzy, but she’s rather intelligent. She’ll know more about your royal attributes than I do.”

            “And why are you so keen on knowing more about this side of me?”

            “Royal alphas have been shrouded in mystery for hundreds of years now. Although I’ve heard countless stories about them throughout my life, they were just that. Stories. Fairy tales. I didn’t know there was any truth behind them until I saw you in your royal form. Even now it seems impossible, so I want to be able to distinguish the facts from fantasy.”

            “How will this help us?”

            We rounded a corner and the distinct smell of burning rubber filled the air. Hanji was back to her old ways. “How much do you know about this, Eren?”

            “Not much,” he admitted. “The first time I shifted to this form was when I discovered my parents had been murdered in their home. It caused me to lose control of myself for days on end. Even now I can’t remember everything that happened, but I’ve learned to control the shift.”

            “There’s more to this than just shifting. Your anatomy differs from those of other alphas. It’s important that we know all the benefits of this transition.” I looked at him. He grabbed handfuls of his hair and yanked on the strands. That small act of frustration filled my heart with warmth. How could something so simple have such an effect on me? “We also need to know the disadvantages, because I’m sure there are some you’re unaware of.”

            He sighed, letting his hands fall to either side of him. “All right. If this will put your mind at ease, then I’m not against it.”

            “You’re sure acting like you’re against it.”

            “That’s because Erwin told me that it was Hanji who created the soap that washed off my scent. It caught me off guard, because I never expected her to side with him. She told me she would help me. Then she goes and does something like this.”

            I scoffed as I realized what was going on. “So, in other words, you’re feeling like an alpha? That’s not too surprising, considering you are one.”

            “I’m sorry. I’m trying my best to contain my instincts, but all my emotions are amplified when it comes to you.”

            “Hey.” I caught his hand and waited for him to look at me to add, “I know I’ve been hard on you for being an alpha from the moment we met, but you’ve proven to me that you’re different than all the rest. You’re allowed to express how you feel without worrying about how I will react.” Standing on tiptoes, I pressed my lips to his scent gland and mouthed at it until he was growling deep in his throat. The slight contact between us wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted more. I was so tired of waiting, of resisting this desire that was burning me from the inside out. “So don’t keep it bottled up inside. Your little bouts of frustration aren’t going to send me running. Not anymore. From here on out, we’re in this together.”

            “You’re not afraid of what I can take from you?” He slid his fingertips over the swell of my scent gland, indicating what he meant. Was I afraid of him marking me? Of becoming his completely?

            I grabbed his wrist and brought his hand to my mouth. I kissed the tips of his middle and index fingers. “I’m not afraid anymore,” I told him, eyes slipping closed. Saying the words aloud made me realize how true they were. Last night had erased any doubts. “I know you won’t take anything from me, because you want me to give it to you.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him through my lashes. “Don’t you?”

            “Yes,” he breathed.

            I let his fingers part my lips. “I didn’t think I would like it.”

            “Like what?”

            “Having control over an alpha.” I licked the underside of his fingers. Heat rippled down my spine, spreading outwards until my entire body was awash in it. Who knew that giving into my instincts could feel this good. This heat didn’t devour me in pain. It turned my bones into liquid. “I didn’t know it would feel like this.”

            He touched his forehead to mine. “I didn’t think it would, either.”

            “You make me hurt. I want you so much.” I couldn’t deny the want, the _need_ , to be filled by him. The feel of his skin on mine excited me, melted my insides, made my pulse pound just beneath the surface of my skin...

            He was the only one who could make me lose control this way, who could blot everything out until only he and I existed. 

            Eren’s lips pulled back from his teeth, exposing canines that were a little too sharp. His eyes went from green to silver, and back again. The pearly glow of his skin deepened before it shimmered back to tan. He was fighting his instincts with everything he had. “Fuck,” he muttered. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

            “I think I do.” I kissed the side of his mouth, keeping my lips there as I said, “because you do the same thing to me.” He leaned back, and his face looked impossibly beautiful then. Something caught between his royal and normal form, features mixing together to create something ethereal. At the sight, possessiveness welled up in me, strong and demanding. I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down to my height. “I want to make you mine.”

            “I’m already yours.”

            “No.” I tilted my head to the side and bit into his scent gland hard enough to pull a ragged moan from him. “I want everyone else to know you’re mine.”

            “Y-you can mark me whenever you want.”

            “Soon,” I said. “Right now we have company.” I turned around and glared at Hanji, who was standing outside her office with a cup of coffee in hand. “How long were you planning to stare at us before you said something?”

            She didn’t answer me. She was completely still, her eyes wide behind the lenses of her glasses. “Eren...”

            At the sound of his name, Eren straightened up and stared at her head on with eyes that were more silver than green. “Hanji.” His voice was barely human. 

            “Oh, this is fantastic,” Hanji said, even as she fell to her knees and abandoned her mug. She leaned forward until her forehead was touching the floor, bowing down before him. Her scent was an odd combination of fear and exhilaration. “I’ve never been this scared in my life. I can’t even look at you. This feels so strange, but it’s so exciting!”

            “What the hell is going on?” I demanded, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

            Eren breathed out. “I already told you. When I’m in this form, our kind will obey me. Hanji, stand up.”

            “Yes,” she said right after he finished speaking, doing as he asked of her.

            “Are you pulling my leg right now?” I asked her.

            “Oh no. My instincts are demanding I listen to him, because he’s a threat I can’t overcome. Is it all right if I look at you, Eren?”

            “Yes,” he said.

            Her eyes flicked up to scan his entire face. “A royal alpha,” she murmured in awe, taking in his vivid features. “I never thought I’d see one. I didn’t even think they existed, yet here you are. This is extraordinary.”

            I crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s actually why we’re here. Do you have time to talk?”

            “Yes! Even if I didn’t have time, I’d make some for this. Here. Come into my office.” She turned around and knocked over the mug she’d put down on the floor. She hardly noticed it, even when she stepped in the milky-brown liquid that stained her white tennis shoes. After she threw open the door, she walked into the room without waiting for us to follow her. She knew we would. “I have a book in here about royal alphas. I haven’t looked at it in a while, so hopefully I’ll be able to find it in this pigsty. Ugh, I should’ve cleaned!”

            I raised an eyebrow. “A book?”

            “That’s what I said.” She made a beeline for her bookcase. “I would look up all the information I need on the internet, but it’s become too much of a risk to browse the web. Erwin says that human soldiers can track us down that way, and looking up things about alphas would surely spark suspicion. Ah! Here it is!” She pulled down a monstrous brown leather book from the middle shelf. Setting it down on her desk, she blew off several layers of dust from the front cover.

            “That’s disgusting,” I stated.

            “Yeah, yeah. We all know you still love me in spite of my gross habits. Now what page am I looking for here?” She skimmed through the book until she landed on a page that made a creepy smile settle on her face. I was guessing she found the page she was looking for. “According to this, royal alphas were kings that ruled over our kind over a hundred years ago. Judging from the pictures in here, they were always in their other form. Look.” She turned the book toward me and pointed at a photo in the bottom left hand corner. There was a painting of a man—no, a beast—with skin so white it reflected back the moonlight. His eyes were also alabaster, opaque and cold, holding no emotion. The only color that seemed to be on him was the black of his hair.

            “Eren doesn’t look anything like that when he’s in his royal form,” I said.

            Hanji glanced up at me. “From what I saw, his skin was more of a cream color. But it says right here that if a royal alpha stays in this form for a long period of time, they will be unable to shift back to their normal form. The longer they’re like this, the more animal-like they become. True alphas. Bestial.”

            “I won’t ever allow myself to become something like that,” Eren snarled.

            “What’s the longest you’ve stayed in your royal form?”

            “A few days,” he told her. “Never longer than that.”

            “How did you feel on the last day?”

            He snapped his teeth, like he’d tasted something bitter. “I felt ravenous, blood-thirsty. It was almost impossible to control my instincts.”  

            Instead of looking startled by the information she’d just heard, Hanji looked thrilled, eyes brilliant with curiosity. “How did other alphas react toward you?”

            “They cowered the moment they smelled my scent. When I confronted them, they submitted in a way I’d never seen before. They offered themselves to me completely.”

            “That’s not surprising,” Hanji said. “Alphas only submit to those they know they can’t defeat. Even then, it’s in their nature to keep on fighting. With you that would’ve proved pointless. They could sense your strength and power, so something new awakened in them. The want to serve an alpha they would be proud to stand behind. With you as their leader, their king, they can take down armies. And that’s why they submitted to you, because they lust for power, and you could’ve given that to them.”

            Eren sneered. “I have no desire to become a king.”

            “But you were going to use this power of yours, weren’t you? To break into Shiganshina? You just needed enough alphas behind you.”

            “Is that true?” I asked.

            “Yes,” he admitted with a sigh. “But things didn’t come to that. I found you.”

            Hanji plopped down in her office chair. “Does that mean you won’t fight?”

            “It means that Levi comes first. If he wants me to fight, I’ll fight. If he wants me to take him away from this place, I will.”

            “Well,” she said while looking at me, “you have him in the palm of your hand.”

            “That’s not what I came here to discuss,” I muttered. “I want to know everything about his royal form. Does he have any weaknesses?”

            “Other than you?” She reached for the book and flipped to another page. “There’s only one. Himself. If he stays in that form long enough, it will become him. As I told you before. He would be dangerous to everyone. But that’s not what you should be worried about.” She laced her fingers together and propped her chin up with them. “The humans know about this form, don’t they?”

            Eren nodded. “Yes. They’ve been hunting me relentlessly since they saw me roaming the outskirts of Shiganshina in this form.”

            She turned her gaze to me. “If they discover you’re his mate, you’re the one they’ll go after, because if they have you, they have him. And you would be a lot easier to catch.” She swiveled in her seat. “Forgive me for stating the obvious, but humans have created their own serums in order to up their advantages against us. The one they’ve used the most often is one that can turn an alpha against his own kind. If they got that into Eren... Well, I’m sure you can guess the outcome of that.”

            “They won’t inject me with anything, and they won’t ever get a hold of Levi.”

            “Let’s hope so, for all our sakes.”

            “There’s another reason why we’re here,” Eren said, steering the conversation in another direction. “We’ve defied Erwin’s orders.”

            Hanji laughed at that. “Tell me something I don’t know. I could smell you on Levi from a mile away, Alpha.”

            “What do you think he’ll do when he finds out?”

            “Erwin’s a complex man with simple desires, but he’s willing to go to the extreme to fulfill those desires. Right now his top priority is this sanctuary. In order to maintain it, he needs both of you at his disposal, so I doubt he’ll do anything rash. He’s not one to act on impulse. He’ll think over his options before he confronts either of you.”

            “Which will be soon enough,” I said. “We have training in an hour.”

            “If you ask me, you have nothing to worry about. All Eren has to do is shift. Once Erwin knows that he’s a royal alpha, he’ll—”

            “He already knows,” Eren interrupted. My head snapped in his direction as confusion contorted my face. “It’s how we met. His team was under attack in a small town near Shiganshina. I shifted into my royal form to help them. After I led them to safety, Erwin told me about the sanctuary, but I wasn’t interested in returning here with him.”

            “Let me guess. That’s when he offered you his assistance?” I pressed my fingers between my brows, attempting to contain the headache that was beginning to form. “So he knew about this the entire time? None of this makes any sense. Why would he ask me to wash off your scent if he knew you were a royal alpha? Why would he provoke you in that way?”

            “I have no idea. Do you know anything about this?” Eren asked Hanji. “You are the one that created the soap.”

            “I created that soap a while back. It wasn’t specifically for Levi.”

            It was beginning to look like the only way we were going to find out Erwin’s intentions was to confront him head on. “I think this is exactly how he wanted it to go. We won’t get the answers we need unless we go speak to him directly. He has always aimed to be two steps ahead of everyone, and right now, he is.” I held my hand out to Eren, relaxing the second his fingers slid between mine. I turned to him and asked, “Are you ready?”

            “For anything,” was his response.

\---

 

“I need to hear you say it one more time before we head out there.” Eren shut his locker door and turned his head to regard me. His scent whispered across my skin, both tantalizing and comforting. “You haven’t changed your mind? About becoming my mate?”

            As we stood here in the locker room, my squad, alongside the new recruits, were filing into the training area. They had received orders from Erwin to arrive fifteen minutes before the set time, which confirmed my earlier suspicions. Erwin must’ve predicted that Eren and I would inevitably drift back together, that I would give in and let him scent mark me. But that didn’t explain why he would want things to turn out this way. What was he gaining from this? Was this his way of showing us who was really in charge here?

            “I told you,” I said, “from here on out, it’s you and me.”

            “Do you trust me?”

            I looked up at him, because I knew why he was asking me that question. Anything could happen once we went out there. We didn’t know what Erwin had planned for us. So if push came to shove, whose side would I be on? Would I once again choose to obey Erwin’s rules for the sake of habit? Or would I put my faith in Eren? Would I choose him no matter what happened in there?

            “Yes,” I told him. “I trust you.”

            _I’ll always choose you from this moment forward._

Needing to show him this somehow, to prove it to him in some physical manner, I tilted my head to the side and exposed my throat. I whined, allowing my scent to morph into something dark and alluring. By the way he tensed up, his eyes wide with surprise, I knew he had understood what I wanted. What I had given him permission to do.

            “Levi,” he whispered.

            “Please.”

            “Are you sure? If you let me do this, and we don’t mate soon, you’ll be in a significant amount of pain.”

            “I know that.” It wouldn’t be a bonding mark. This mark would simply tie us together temporarily. But, like he said, if we didn’t mate soon, the mark would vanish and it would be excruciating for the omega within me. Still... “I trust you. _Please._ ”

            “Do you really want me to do this?” Before I could answer him, he added, “If you say yes, I won’t stop.”

            “If you make me repeat myself one more time—” He cut me off with a kiss, tongue pushing past my teeth to lap at the underside of mine. The taste of him sent my instincts into overdrive. It was like a drug, an aphrodisiac, making every nerve ending hypersensitive. So when he pulled back and started kissing a trail to my scent gland, I let out a strained moan that turned into a gasp as I felt his teeth sink into my skin. He didn’t bite hard enough to pierce my scent gland. He just grazed it. The sensation was so intense that I thought I might scream with it. God, it felt so unbelievably good. “E-Eren...” I clawed at his back, melting against him.

            “Mm,” he growled, licking at the spot he’d just bitten. “You taste sweet.”

            “I want...ngh.” Another swipe of his tongue across the sensitive gland made my legs give out from under me, but he held my weight.

            He asked, “What do you want?”

            “I want to do it to you, too.”

            Eren leaned back and offered me his neck. I didn’t hesitate. I let my instincts guide me through the motions. When I bit into his gland, a distinct taste of him flooding my mouth, he shuddered. I couldn’t describe the feeling that went through me in that moment. There wasn’t a name for it. I just knew, without a doubt, that we belonged together. The fear that had consumed me since my childhood was finally ebbing, because he wasn’t like the alpha that killed my mother. He wasn’t a monster.

            “Thank you,” I heard myself whisper, although I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason I was thanking him. I was simply overwhelmed with gratitude. Thankful that he hadn’t given up on me, even when I’d given him plenty of reasons to.

            “For what?” he asked.

            “For thinking I was worth waiting for.”

            He nuzzled my neck. “You are worth waiting for. My omega.” He took my hand in his. “They’re waiting on us.”

            “Let’s go, then. I’m ready.”

            We walked out of the locker room hand-in-hand, which is how we remained until we were standing in front of everyone. Everyone’s face held a different emotion. Some looked surprised. Others confused. Then there were the rare few, like Jean, who looked excited.

            “I knew it!” Jean said while everyone else stayed silent. “I knew he was your mate!”

            “Is this true?” asked Gunther and Auruo in unison.

            I swallowed. I could see the betrayal in their eyes. They’d trusted me, and this is what I had given them in return. “Yes. Eren is my mate.”

            Jean stepped forward then, looking triumphant. “So you lied to your entire squad? That’s low.”

            “Get away from him,” Eren snapped.

            “Gonna make me, Alpha?” Jean shot back. His scent was coming off as a challenge.

            “I won’t have to.”

            Jean looked like he was getting ready to throw a punch, but then Eren’s skin flickered, becoming dull before it took on the pearly hue I was beginning to grow familiar with. I watched Jean’s face, watched different emotions play over his features as Eren stood before him in his royal form, and then he crumbled to his knees.

            They all did.

            Every single one of them.

            No one spoke, or addressed Eren. They were all on their knees, waiting. But for what?

            “Why would you become their leader when you’re not even ready to give them orders?” That came from Erwin, who strode into the room like he’d been expecting this all along. As he reached Eren, he sunk down to his knee and bowed his head.

            “I didn’t ask for this,” Eren said. “You forced me into this.”

            Erwin chuckled. “I can’t deny that.”

            “Why? Why did you do this?”

            “You and Levi are my strongest soldiers. I needed you two to be in sync, which Levi was making impossible, because he’s stubborn. He always has been, so I knew he would fight his instincts, his desire for you, until the very end. I couldn’t have that.”

            Eren growled, which caused everyone in the room to flinch. “This wasn’t for you to decide! You pushed Levi into accepting me as his mate!”

            “No, Eren,” I said. “He didn’t.”

            Erwin looked up now. “I opened his eyes to the truth. By ordering him to wash your scent off, I made him see how he couldn’t live without you now.”

            “But why would you need to rush this?” Eren asked.

            “Because human soldiers have been spotted not too far from the sanctuary. They need to be diverted to another area, or they will find this place in a matter of days. If I sent you out while Levi was still undecided, your mind wouldn’t have been in the right place. But now that Levi is absolutely certain that he wants you as his mate, you’ll be able to focus on the task at hand.”

            “You wanted me to lead your people,” Eren said. “You were hoping I would reveal I was a royal alpha, didn’t you?”

            “Yes,” Erwin admitted. “They will follow you now. They will trust your decisions.”

            “And when do you expect me to lead them outside the walls?”

            “Today. It has to be today.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, commenting, and being amazing! <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I never thought I'd be one of those fic writers that takes forever to update, but here I am. *laughs awkwardly*  
> Life has kept me busy, so I don't have a lot of time to write these days. But I love my boys, so I can't give them up. I will continue to write about them for as long as I can. 
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy this chapter. :')

If Eren weren’t at the sanctuary, and I alone received the order to divert the human soldiers away from our location, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. It would’ve been another duty to carry out. Nothing more than that. But things had changed. It wasn’t just me anymore. There was someone here that was more important to me than anyone else, and he was the one that would be in charge of this operation. Even when Eren was the strongest alpha I’d ever encountered, uneasiness gnawed at me until my stomach lay in knots.

            So many things could go wrong, and I would be helpless to stop it.

            A sound must’ve escaped me, a small noise of distress, because the next thing I knew I was in Eren’s arms. He didn’t comfort me the way an alpha would comfort their omega. There was no nuzzling or silent touches to reassure me of everything. He simply looked at me straight on and said, “You’re coming with me,” because he knew that’s the only thing that would satisfy me. The only thing I would accept.

            With his eyes on mine, I pulled myself back from the brink of panic. I had no other choice under these circumstances. If I wanted us to find a way to live through this ongoing war, then I had to fight.

            I _would_ fight.

            “I know I am,” I replied.

            “Is that a wise decision?” Erwin said from where he knelt on a training mat, his blue gaze trained on my alpha. Eren turned around to regard him, his scent conveying emotions his face hid well. “Don’t get me wrong, Levi is an amazing soldier, but in his current condition he could be a liability. Are you willing to risk his life for the sake of his pride?”

            It shouldn’t have surprised me that Erwin mentioned my deteriorating condition in front of my entire squad. By doing that, he forced me into a corner. Now I had no other choice but to admit my health was less than perfect, which would compromise the agreement he made with Eren. In his own clever way, Erwin was taking back the control he relinquished when he allowed me to retain my position as captain. It was only a matter of time before he snatched it back entirely.

            “I’m not a liability,” I said, sure to keep my voice even. I wouldn’t sit here and do nothing while he tried to condemn me. “I’m just as capable as I was on the last expedition.” That wasn’t entirely true. My body ached in ways it hadn’t mere days ago, but that didn’t mean I was weak. Pain was something I’d grown accustomed to. I wouldn’t let it hinder my abilities.

            Erwin opened his mouth to speak, no doubt to reveal more truths that would work against me, but Eren cut him off with, “Say one more word to provoke my mate, and I’ll leave this place with him. I’m sure you figured out by now that I no longer require your assistance, nor do I need your protection. The only reason I’m still here is because of Levi. So, if I were you, I would think carefully about what you have to say next.”

            To everyone’s surprise, Jean snickered, drawing everyone’s attention to him. He didn’t seem bothered by that. He said, “Well, fuck me for saying this, but if this alpha decides to leave, I will follow him.”

            “As will I,” Farlan said, surprising Isabel enough to cause her to turn her head in his direction.

            Eren dismissed them with a wave of his hand. “I have no interest in becoming your leader.”

            “You say that like it’ll stop me,” Jean said. “FYI, it won’t."

            “We don’t have time for this childish squabbling,” Erwin intervened, sounding exasperated by this whole ordeal. “If you’re going to do this for the people taking shelter here at this sanctuary, then you’ll have to set out within the next few hours. You, along with a small group of your choice. That’s all it will take for this task to be accomplished. I’m certain that once the human soldiers catch sight of you, they will follow you anywhere. All you have to do is lead them away from the path they’re currently on.”

            Blindly, Eren reached back for my hand. I placed it in his, surprised at how natural it felt. “You’ve known these people longer than I have, Levi. I’ll leave it up to you to decide who will come with us today. I trust your judgement to be better than mine when it comes to this.”

            I turned my eyes to the group of people kneeling before us. Aside from the new recruits who averted their gazes as mine swept over them, I’d seen everyone here in the midst of battle. Seen them at their strongest, and their weakest. So I knew who to choose for this assignment. “We’ll take Auruo, Farlan, Petra, Erd, Gunther, and Jean with us.”

            “I’m honored,” Jean said in a sarcastic tone, because he knew he was coming along for the sole reason that he was an alpha.

            Isabel stood up and pinned me down with her glare. Her hurt expression told me everything she wouldn’t say, but I already knew what she was thinking. She couldn’t believe I’d chosen a newcomer over her. “Levi, have I not proven myself on past expeditions? Why have I been excluded from this?”

            “I’m sure you know why.” I gave her a meaningful look, one that told her I’d been speaking to Hanji. I always kept track of my recruits. Especially the ones that were dear to me. She could keep something from her mate, but it would be impossible to keep it from me.

            After a moment of silence, Isabel said, “Fine, I’ll stay. Just...don’t let anything happen to him.” By “him” she meant Farlan. “Please.”

            “I’ll be okay,” Farlan assured her, even as he looked at me in confusion. He couldn’t understand why she would be staying behind.

            “Now that you know who you’re taking,” Erwin said, “then we should discuss how you’re going to go about this.”

            Eren looked at him with mild interest. “No need. I already know what I’m going to do. Just point the way.”

 

\---

 

On a normal outing, we would have done anything to blend in and appear inconspicuous. Now we were doing the exact opposite. Our orders were to gain the enemy’s attention and direct them away from the sanctuary. It sounded simple enough, but from past experience I knew it wouldn’t be. Humans detested our kind. They wouldn’t show us mercy, or give us any prior warnings before they attacked. The minute they knew what we were, they would kill us on sight. I’d learned that the hard way. We all had.

            In the locker room, the team we assembled was suiting up before we headed out. Although I was taking all the necessary precautions to avoid basic attacks, I still felt uneasy. Erwin hadn’t given us enough time to prepare for something like this. In order to succeed at any assignment outside the walls, we had to be coordinated, which couldn’t happen if we just rushed into this blind. But that’s exactly what we were about to do. Did Erwin have that much faith in Eren’s capabilities? Or was he desperate enough to send us on a suicide mission?

            At the end of this, would I have more blood on my hands?

            “What’s on your mind?” Eren asked. He cupped the back of my neck as he came to stand behind me. It was such a simple gesture of affection, but the effect it had on me was immediate. My tense muscles uncoiled, my heart slowed, and the lump in my throat eased until I could breathe easily once again.

            How could I have avoided this for so long? It felt like something I couldn’t live without now that I’d experienced it. Then again, no other alpha would’ve sufficed. Eren put all the others to shame. So, in the end, all the suffering I’d endured from remaining unmated had been worth it.

            “Do you think Erwin has an ulterior motive for sending you out?” I said as I closed my locker. Eren was so close, I could feel the warmth of his body emanating off him. I could smell his potent scent. I wanted to be encased in it. The thought alone must’ve been enough to prompt me to act, because I found myself reclining against him unconsciously, but he didn’t wrap his arms around me like I expected him to. For the first time in my life I wanted to be coddled and he wasn’t indulging me.

            “Even if Erwin does have an ulterior motive, I can handle it.”

            “Are you that confident in yourself?”

            “Is that a bad thing?”

            “No.” I turned around. “It’s not. Just don’t let your guard down while we’re out there.”

            “I won’t,” he said, pressing his fingers to my scent gland. The mark he’d given me was still tender, which seemed to please him. He stared at me hungrily. “I plan on making it back.”

            I leaned my forehead against his chest and breathed in his scent. The desire to be held by him wouldn’t ease up. Why did I want it so badly? Was it purely my instincts driving this longing, or was it something else?

            “We have to go,” I said, more to myself than to him.

            “Hey.” He stepped back so he could gather my face in his hands. He studied my expression and must have seen something that concerned him because he was quick to add, “I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

            “That’s easier said than done. People can die out there, Eren. _You_ could die out there.” Or worse, he could be captured and used against us. “Those people out there may be following your orders today, but they depend on me. They’re counting on me to keep them alive.”

            “No one is going to die. I won’t let it happen.”

            I looked up at him. “If both Farlan and I were put in a critical position, who would you choose to save?”

            “Levi...”

            “Just answer the question.”

            “You,” he said. “I would choose you.”

            I turned my head to the side, releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Isabel’s pregnant. Hanji told me right before we left her office to come here.” I clenched my hands at my sides, a wave of emotion making it hard to keep my voice steady. “I may be the only one that matters to you, but to Isabel, that person is Farlan. Can you even understand how she would feel if he didn’t come back from this today? And the thing is, I should’ve made him stay here with her, but I know he wouldn’t have accepted that. He’s earned his right to fight alongside us today.”

            “I’ll make sure he comes back to her. I’ll make sure everyone comes back.”

            The possibility of that happening was slim to none, but there was no time to dwell on it. We needed to head out soon. If I lingered here any longer, more doubts would creep into my head.

            As if on cue, Petra came around the corner. She was all suited up. Over her red blouse she wore a bulletproof vest that would offer her little protection, because humans used different tactics to take our kind down. They used the one thing that set us apart from them: our instincts.

            “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” she said, fiddling with her shoulder holster, “but we’re all ready. We’re just waiting for your call.”

            I nodded once. “Let’s go then.”

            We walked out of the locker room and met up with the others in the training area. Erwin was nowhere in sight. He gave his orders, and now that he knew they would be carried out, he resumed his position in the safety of his office. I wondered if he was worried about anyone dying out there today. Or perhaps all he cared about was the sanctuary and what it stood for. Either way, while he stayed behind, we were the ones setting out to protect this place. We were the ones risking our lives.

            “Make way!” a loud voice chirped just as I was about to give instructions on what to do next. The person behind it pushed their way passed everyone. I didn’t have to see them to know who it was. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

            “No,” I remarked when Hanji finally made it to where I stood, but of course she didn’t falter. And of course she was carrying a bag like she had every intention on tagging along for the ride.

            “I’m coming with you,” she said, confirming my suspicions. “I even convinced Erwin to let us take the armored car. We’re going to drive these human soldiers away badass style.”

            “You’re not driving anyone away. You’re staying here. You’re the only crazy scientist we have on the premises, and as much as I hate to admit it, we need you around. Which requires staying alive.”

            She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “I’m coming so I can use the internet. I thought you wanted more info on your royal alpha over there?” She pointed at Eren, who looked at her as though he was having a hard time comprehending how she worked. “The internet will provide said info, but don’t worry your little head off about my safety. Erwin told me I needed to stay in the car the whole time we’re out. Although, if you ask me, I’d do a lot better kicking some serious ass. Let’s not lie here. I’m quite handy with a sword.”

            “You’re quite handy right here at the sanctuary. Plus, an armored car can’t contain you,” I said.

            “True, but I’ll behave myself. I promise. Now let’s get a move on. We’re wasting precious daylight.”

            She was right. There was only a handful of hours left before nightfall. If we were going to have any chance of making this out alive, we needed to leave while the sun was still up.

            I looked at the people who would be joining me on this dangerous outing. There was nothing but determination in their eyes. I wanted to reassure them that everything would go as planned, that they would return home safely, but there was no plan. There was simply an objective.

            At this point, I couldn’t guarantee them anything.

            “Are you guys ready?” I asked.

            The members of my squad immediately said, “Yes, sir!” Jean just smirked and gave me a half assed salute. I was hoping he wouldn’t be any trouble out there. Or, if he decided to act up, that Eren would be quick to get him back under control.

            “Let’s load up,” I said.

            Everyone filed out of the training area and, as I stared at their departing backs, I couldn’t help but wonder who would return and who wouldn’t.

 

\---

 

The armored car came with Mike. He served in the military before all this happened. A week before the purge was scheduled to launch, his commanding officer ordered him to leave the base with the car. Maybe because he knew what would be happening to people like Mike, and he was hoping the car would provide him with some form of protection. In the long run, it hadn’t changed anything. People were still attacked and killed in their own homes.

            An armored car couldn’t save everyone.

            “This is a pretty sweet ride,” Jean said as he patted the side of the armored car. It made a hollow noise as he hit it.

            Out in the sunlight, everyone looked different, less anxious. It was rare when we got out of the sanctuary, and even under these circumstances, being outside gave me a sense of peace. I missed the days when I could travel freely, without having to worry about my safety. Those days were long gone though. Now we were all forced to hide like some kind of criminals.

            “You miss it, don’t you?” Eren asked, scrutinizing my expression.

            I looked over at him. God, he was beautiful. “Miss what?”

            “Being free.” He gazed out at the open field. The wind swept the tall grass to the side. It carried the scent of daisies with it. “I miss it, too.”

            “We’ll never be free again. Even if we were to try to make it on our own, we would always have to watch our backs. And we wouldn’t be able to get jobs. We’d just be running.”

            “Running would be better than staying cooped up and pretending we’re all safe. One day the human soldiers will stumble across this place and they’ll be nothing we can do but run. So wouldn’t you rather run and be free, then stay confined to this building until you’re forced to do otherwise?”

            I closed my eyes, just feeling the warm breeze on my face. What I wanted was to live a normal life, but being what I was made that impossible. Going into heat, creating slick, releasing pheromones... The humans considered that abnormal. They would never let me live among them because of these things. “I want to go outside,” I said stupidly. I didn’t know how else to put it. I wanted to be able to walk outside any time I felt like it. I didn’t want to remain indoors, away from the sun.

            “I can give you what you want,” Eren said, stepping up to me and cupping the side of my face with his hand. His palm was warm against my cheek.

            “You’ve told me this before.”

            “Is your answer the same as it was back then?”

            Could I leave the sanctuary? What had been keeping me here this whole time, aside from the protection?

            The suppressants. The promise of never going into heat again. That’s what kept me here, but now that was irrelevant. Each day I was growing weaker, my bones becoming brittle, and for what? For my pride? To keep my mother’s promise? Or were those just noble sounding excuses to hide how afraid I’d been of being an omega?

            So what was keeping me here now that the suppressants were no longer an option, and I’d chosen my mate?

            Nothing.

            “No, my answer isn’t the same as it was back then,” I told him. “I don’t want to stay here forever.” _I don’t want to die here,_ I thought, but didn’t say aloud.

            “Just tell me when, and we’ll leave. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

            “Let’s make it out of this alive first.”

            He smiled, and it reminded me of how little he smiled. “Then let’s head out.” He turned around, but I grabbed him by the wrist to stop him. He looked back at me.

            “Come back from this safe, okay?”

            He stared at me for one long moment, then he put his hands on my hips. He lifted me up until I was at eye level with him. When he pressed his lips to mine, my immediate reaction was to pull away. I could feel everyone’s eyes on us and shame welled up in me. Then I realized that everyone already knew he was my mate. Why was I still trying to hide this from them? This was what I wanted. This was who I wanted to be with. I’d accepted that already, so if they couldn’t, then I didn’t care.

            I kissed Eren back, no longer aware of everyone around us. It didn’t matter what they thought of me now. It wouldn’t change how I felt about him. For the first time, being an omega didn’t feel like a curse, and I had him to thank for that.

            “I’ll always come back to you,” Eren whispered against my lips.

            “Is that a promise?”

            “As long as you promise me the same thing.”

            “I promise,” I said, hoping I could keep it. Hoping he could keep his.

            “We’ve got to boogie, love birds!” Hanji shouted, punctuating her statement by pounding her fists on the side of the car. “Come on! In the car we go! Whose driving, by the way? Might I suggest myself? I’m an excellent driver.”

            “Before the purge, you were driving on a suspended license,” I said, turning my head to eye her. “So you’re not driving now or ever. Petra is.”

            “Preposterous! But I accept. So, come on, let’s get a move on!”

            I rolled my eyes before I returned my gaze to Eren. “She won’t shut up until we go.”

            “Then let’s go,” he said.

            When he lowered me, I wasted no time in turning around to face my squad. I expected looks of disappointment, but that wasn’t what I saw on their faces. Instead they all were looking at me with small grins on their faces, like they were happy for me. It threw me off so completely that all I could do was stare at them in shock. It took me too long to recuperate.

            “Ehm.” I cleared my throat in an attempt to melt away the awkward silence I’d formed. “Everyone into the car. We’re working on limited time here.”

            As they piled in, I glanced back at the sanctuary. It was a lone cement building out in the middle of nowhere. Outside it looked plain, ordinary, but underground there was an intricate living space made up of several floors. I never understood how Erwin found this place. It was a little too perfect, like it was intended for the purpose it served now. But I suppose how he stumbled across the sanctuary didn’t matter. What mattered was that it housed over two thousand people. People who had grown too reliable on him, on us. Most of them couldn’t survive on their own. If this place was to go down, they would go down with it.

            “Coming?” Eren asked. He was waiting for me by the armored car.

            We would return from this. Neither of us would die out there. I would make sure of that, because now I had something to live for. I had someone to come home to. And although this relationship had barely started, a newly paved path, I wanted it more than anything.

            “Yeah,” I said. “I’m coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm forever grateful to you readers. Thank you for enjoying my work, and an extra thanks to those that always leave me feedback. I adore you. ♡


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update time! 
> 
> I loved writing this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy reading it. <3

Driving down a deserted dirt road in an armored car was sure to draw attention to us. It was only a matter of time before the human soldiers found us and attacked. After all, we weren’t trying to stay hidden. The whole point of coming out here was to lure them away from the sanctuary. So where were they? We were close to the place Erwin said his foot soldiers had spotted them. Shouldn’t they be surrounding us by now?

         Something about this felt wrong.

         In the backseat, I turned my head and peered out the tinted window. On either side of us were miles upon miles of uninhabited land. Being out here surrounded by nothing, I was struck by how alone we truly were. Humans had made us out to be the enemy and were pushing us into extinction. And no one, not a single soul, cared that we were out here dying off like animals. That’s what they saw us as. To them, being hunted down like vermin befitted us. We were pests they longed to eradicate. It didn’t matter how inhumanly it was done.

         Beside me, Jean said, “I don’t like this. We’ve been driving for half an hour and haven’t seen anyone.”

         Up front, Eren let out a low growl. “If this is a trap—”

         “Erwin wouldn’t be that stupid,” Hanji intervened. “Aside from Mike, all his best soldiers are in this car. He wouldn’t risk all of you for nothing.”

         I leaned forward in my seat and tapped on Petra’s shoulder. When she looked at me, I said, “Pull over. We need to get out and scan the area. If they’re near, I’ll be able to smell them.” Driving around was getting us nowhere.

         As she steered the car onto the side of the road, Eren pushed open his door and stepped out before any of us could. He walked out into the middle of the road, and then tilted his head back. I watched him close his eyes, brows knitting together as the wind carried scents to him. A few seconds later, his eyes flew open and his head snapped to the right.

         “They’re closing in on us,” he said. “They’re on foot. That’s why we haven’t been able to see them. They’re hiding in the field of corn.”  

         “Get back in the car,” I ordered.

         He shook his head. “It’s me that they want. I’ll lead them away.”

         “Eren!” I shouted, already panicking.

         He turned around, but didn’t look at me. He regarded Petra. “I’m in charge here, so you will listen to me.” His eyes flashed to silver. “I want you to keep on driving until you reach the mountain up ahead. I don’t want you to stop for anything. As for the two of you.” His eyes flicked to Farlan and Jean, who both sat beside me. “Don’t let Levi out of your sight, and don’t let him come after me. That’s an order.”

         “This is bullshit,” Jean said in defiance. “You may be some royal prince, or whatever, but it’s senseless to go alone. Let me come with you. Farlan over here can stay with your mate.”

         “I’m just as useful as you are,” Farlan retorted. “Why don’t you stay behind?”

         “Enough.” Eren held up his hand to silence both of them. “I’ll only tell you this once more. _Both_ of you are to remain here and guard Levi. I don’t need your help.”

         Jean sneered. “You overly smug bastard. You’re going to get yourself killed.”

         While Eren’s attention was on someone else, I weaseled my way into the front seat. I didn’t give him the opportunity to stop me. I sprang out of the car and grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands. If he wanted to, he could break my hold with ease, but he didn’t. He placed his hands over mine and the gentleness of his touch told me he wasn’t going to budge on this. He was going to leave me behind. He was going to take all those soldiers on by himself.

         I couldn’t stop him. He wouldn’t let me.

         “Take Jean,” I whispered, dropping my forehead onto his chest. “At least do that for me.”

         “If that will make this easier on you, then that’s what I’ll do.”

         “Please...” The tightness in my throat cut my words short. “Please,” I tried again. “Make sure you come back. Don’t you dare die out there. I won’t forgive you if you do.”

         Slipping his fingers beneath my chin, he tilted my head back and looked me in the eye. “I promised you I would come back. I will. You can count on that.” He turned his head to the side, a slight movement, but I knew what it meant.

         They were close.

         “I can’t change your mind?” I asked in hopes that I could somehow.

         “You already know the answer to that question.” He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me toward the car. “Get in. You need to leave right now. Go to the mountain and stay there until I come get you. If I’m not there by nightfall—”

         I turned back around, knocking his hand from my shoulder with the harsh movement. I grabbed the back of his neck and yanked him down to me, our lips crushing together in a kiss I put all my desperation into. When I leaned back, I said through clenched teeth, “You _will_ come get us. If you don’t, I’ll come looking for you.”

         “You better wrap this up soon,” Jean said as he came around the back of the car. “They’re close enough to get a good shot.”

         Eren immediately coaxed me back into the car. Before he shut the door, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my forehead. It felt like a farewell. Then Petra began to drive away. I turned around in the seat as she picked up speed, but the back window was too dark to see out of. My instincts were demanding that I go back. The omega within me only wanted one thing. It wanted me to be with my mate, to fight alongside with him and kill all the enemies who dared to approach him in a menacing manner. If our positions were reversed, Eren would have stayed with me no matter what I said.

         So why was I still in this car?

         With my mind made up, I threw open the passenger side door without warning. I didn’t care that we were moving at an alarming speed. I needed to get out.

         In response to the door flying open on its hinges, Petra slammed on the brakes, but I’d been ready for that to happen. I braced my arms on the dashboard until we came to a complete stop. Then I lunged out of the car.

         “Levi!” I heard Farlan call.

         I ignored him and turned back the way we came. I started to run. A gunshot sounded in the distance, loud and threatening. It urged me to pick up my pace. When I reached the spot we had dropped off Eren and Jean, I saw that a group of men in desert camo had them surrounded out in the field to the right of the dirt road. The men were closing in on them. The muzzles of their rifles pointed at their chests. At any moment, they would shoot them. They would shoot my mate.

         Snarling, I charged at the men from behind, staying hidden behind the tall corn stalks. Since their senses were too dull to smell the distinct scent of an omega, none of them detected me until it was too late. By the time any of them saw me, I already had my arms around one of their necks. I gripped the top of the soldier’s head and the underside of his chin. With one quick jerk to the side, I snapped his neck. But I didn’t allow myself to stop there. To slow down was to give them the chance to gain the upper hand.

         I knelt down to pick up the rifle the soldier had dropped. With it in hand, I stood back up and opened fire on the men that were too stunned to move. I didn’t stop pulling the trigger until all of them were lying in a heap on the ground, bullet holes riddling their bodies. They were dead, but that did nothing to ease me. They had seen Eren in his royal form. If he was as important to them as I thought, they called in for backup the moment they saw him.

         More soldiers would be on their way by now.

         “So much for our plan,” Jean said. “Levi just killed all of them by himself. At least this batch. There are more on their way.” He inhaled. “They reek of sweat and fear.”

         Eren ignored him. He rushed up to me and took my face into his hands. His eyes were wide with concern as they scanned every inch of me. “Did they hurt you? Why did you come back? I told you to go to the mountain.”

         “I’m not leaving you,” I said. “We either do this together, or we don’t do it at all.”

         “Levi!” Farlan came bursting through the corn stalks, carrying a gun. Auruo, Erd, and Gunther were hot on his trail. Petra must’ve stayed with the car in order to protect it from being overrun by any human soldiers in the area. At least she wasn’t alone. Hanji was with her.

         “We need to regroup,” I said. “We’re all here to complete the same task, so from here on out we’re sticking together. Is that understood?” I gazed at Eren.

         He opened his mouth as if to protest, but then thought better of it. He nodded in agreement.

         “Good.” I turned my head toward the wind. Jean was right. The humans reeked of sweat and fear and...excitement. We needed to leave. “Let’s get back to the car. Staying out here in the open is dangerous.”

         Grabbing hold of Eren’s hand, I started walking back toward the dirt road. We had almost made it to the car when something landed by my feet. I didn’t have enough time to react to it. Gas emitted from the nozzle of the grenade and I stumbled back as my eyes began to sting. It was tear gas.

         “Keep going!” I shouted. I heard another grenade land somewhere beside me. They were going to keep on throwing them until they reached us. “Don’t stop! Get in the car!”

         My chest was beginning to hurt, and I was having a difficult time breathing. If they threw another one, I didn’t know how many of us would be able to withstand it. I could already hear my comrades, the people I swore to protect, coughing and choking on the gas. I had to get them inside the car. If I could do that, then Petra could drive away. Or had she already been apprehended before we made it back? What about Hanji?

         I staggered forward with my arms outstretched. I couldn’t feel anything in front of me or to either side of me. When the first grenade had landed, the tear gas striking outward in a dense white cloud that resembled smoke, I’d let go of Eren’s hand to shield my eyes. Where had he gone? I couldn’t see or smell anything. All my senses had become too dull to be useful.

         “Eren!” I shouted over the hissing of the tear gas. I attempted to open my eyes, but couldn’t for longer than a few seconds. “Eren, can you hear me? Answer me! Eren!”

         A bloodcurdling scream stopped me in my tracks. It was impossible to tell who it was aside from the fact that it was a male. But that didn’t provide me with anything. Who was it? Eren? Farlan? Auruo? Erd? It could be any one of them and I was standing here, unable to do a thing. If I was going to be of any use to my squad, then I needed to find a way to wash off the tear gas from my face. Until then, I couldn’t do anything for them. I couldn’t even do anything for myself.

         Another scream pierced through the hissing. This time it was accompanied by pleading.

         “Please don’t!” the man screamed. His words were muffled somehow, but it was enough for me to be able to tell that it wasn’t one of my men. It was a human soldier being attacked. But by whom? “I’m just following orders. I didn’t mean anything by it. I swear! Don’t come any clo—” The man’s words were cut off midsentence. A series of gurgling sounds followed. Then a distinct snap of bone.

         His neck had been broken.

         I stood there, listening. Someone was approaching me now. Whoever it was, they kicked the grenades away, and the hissing faded into the background. “Eren, is that you?” I said.

         “It’s me. Don’t worry.” He cupped my face and turned it to the side. All I could do was stand there as relief flooded through me. He was alive. “We need to wash this off. They modified their tear gas. It seems to be a lot stronger than normal. It’s eating away at your skin.”

         Blindly, I reached out until he guided my arms around his neck. I buried my face against his chest. “Wait... What about the others?”

         “We’re no better than you,” said Jean. “We can’t see shit. Apparently that doesn’t apply to your mate.” Then in a lower voice, “Fucking royal alpha.”

         “Eren, lead us to the car.” I ran my hand down his arm and took hold of his wrist. “We need to get away from here. We won’t be able to fight them off in this state.”

         “They slashed the tires of the armored car. We can’t go anywhere unless it’s on foot. And I don’t see how we can do that when everyone’s sight has been impaired.”

         “Did they hurt Petra and Hanji?” I asked. “Eren?”

         “I’m not sure. I haven’t checked inside the car yet.”

         “Lead me there.”

         I knew something was wrong the second Eren opened the driver’s side door. I could smell blood, and judging by how strong it was, there had to be a lot of it. Someone was severely injured.

         “Petra? Hanji?” Nothing. No response. “Eren, where are they? Were they taken? Are they”—I swallowed several times—“dead?”

         “They aren’t in the car, Levi. I don’t know what happened to them, but there’s blood on the driver’s seat. Petra must be injured.”

         If I had gone to the mountain like Eren had asked of me, this wouldn’t be happening. I should’ve trusted him. Before he came to the sanctuary, he’d been living out in human territory for years. He knew how to deal with them, yet I’d selfishly clung onto him, and now I was paying the consequences for my actions.

         Petra was injured, and in the hands of human soldiers, that was as good as dead.

         “Lean up against the car,” Eren instructed, taking hold of my shoulders to guide me to where he wanted me to go. “We packed some water bottles. There’s enough here for everyone to have two. I don’t know how well it will work on this stuff. Tear gas contains pepper spray, which is an oily substance that’s hard to get off skin without soap.”

         “Dish soap works best,” Erd chimed in. “Before this shit fest, I was a police officer. But I guess that doesn’t matter much now.”

         “I’m going to hand these out,” Eren said. I heard him moving about before he returned to my side. “Use them wisely, and don’t rub your eyes. That will make things worse.” Grabbing my chin, he tilted my head back. My entire face was on fire. “Okay, try to open your eyes as much as you can. We’re going to need the water to get in there to flush out the tear gas. As I’m pouring it onto your face, try to blink as much as you can.”

         I nodded. “Okay.” I understood what he wanted me to do, but getting my eyes open was no easy feat. It took me too long to pry them open into slits. That was the best I could do. It seemed to be enough for Eren, because he began to pour the water in one steady stream. The burning sensation intensified to an almost numbing pain. I gritted my teeth until my jaw hurt, but focused on blinking my eyes. My vision swam in and out of focus.

         “How does that feel?”

         “Hurts like hell.”

         He growled. The rumble in his chest continued as he said, “And your breathing?”

         My chest felt constricted, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. “It’s not too bad.”

         “Here. Let’s try this again.”

         Even after Eren poured the remaining water onto my face, the burning only eased a fraction. Without my sight, I was as useless as useless could get.

         “We need to head back to the sanctuary,” I said. “We were expecting to lead the human soldiers on some wild goose chase, but it’s like they knew we were coming. Why else would they sneak up on us rather than attack head on? It’s not like them to use that kind of tactic.” I reclined my head on Eren’s chest. “The problem is how are we going to get back without the car? We’ll be easy pickings if we journey back to the sanctuary in this condition.”

         “Those men drove here in something. Their vehicle probably isn’t too far away from here. If we’re going to get back tonight, I have to go look for it.”

         “And leave us behind?”

         “It’s not like I have much of a choice right now.” Eren stepped back and I felt him turn toward the others. “Jean. Farlan. How’s your vision?”

         “Blurry,” Farlan said, “but it’ll probably clear up in twenty minutes or so.”

         “Yeah, give me fifteen, and I’ll be good.” That came from Jean. “The advantages of self-healing are amazing. Sucks for you guys. You’ll have to endure it for a while longer.”

         “Fuck you too,” Gunther said.

         Eren must have done something to silence them, because they all went quiet in a matter of seconds. “Listen, I want everyone except for Jean and Farlan to get into the car. I’m sure there are more soldiers on their way here. I’m hoping to find one of their vehicles before then. But if I’m not back before they return, I want one of you to honk the horn. I’ll be able to hear it, and I’ll come back as fast as I can. Is that clear with all of you?”

         “Yes,” they said.

         “I know you don’t want me to leave you.” Now he was speaking to me, voice low enough so that only I could hear him. “But this is the only way.”

         “I know,” I told him. “It’s my fault things have come to this. If I would’ve just listened to you and gone to the mountain like you’d asked, Petra and Hanji would still be okay. Everyone would still be okay.”

         He wrapped me up in his arms. “Don’t blame yourself for what’s happening. The more I look at this, the more it seems like a set up. Erwin has something to do with this, and when we return to the sanctuary, I’m going to make him regret ever putting us in this position.” He leaned back and appeared like a blob of color in front of me. My eyesight was returning, but not fast enough. “I have to go now. Come on. Let’s get you in the car.”

         I let him steer me toward the back of the armored car, which was the area with the most protection. When I was seated with a gun in my lap, he signaled for Auruo and Gunther to join me. Erd was to remain up front, in case any trouble should occur. His job was to keep watch and honk the horn if he even saw a hint of human soldiers coming our way. While the men sitting beside me were instructed to keep guard of me. All I had to do was sit here and wait.

         “Promise me you’ll stay in the car,” Eren said, running his fingertips over my scent gland. “I know it goes against who you are, but humans... They find omegas useless, so they will not hesitate to kill you on the spot.”

         I clung onto the grip of the gun. “I know what they think of me, of what I am.”

         “Their opinion of you is insignificant.” Leaning in, he kissed me. Then, pressing his lips to my forehead, he said, “Stay safe. I’ll be back as fast as I can.” He moved back, but I grabbed the front of his shirt.

         “Keep your promise.”

         “And you keep yours.” And then he was gone, shutting the back door and disappearing into the corn field.

         Once I was alone with my thoughts, I felt the weight of everything that had happened. We were in a vulnerable position. Even with weapons at the ready, our muddled sight would make it hard to use them. If the humans showed up, we would be forced to use the one thing we had that they didn’t. Our heightened senses. Our instincts.

         “Ah, dammit,” grumbled Auruo. “I can’t see much of anything.”

         Gunther said, “Neither can I. We won’t be able to use the compound bows this way.”

         I leaned forward and tapped on the window. A few seconds passed by before the door swung open. I could hardly make out who was in front of me, but I recognized his scent. “Farlan, Eren took down the soldiers that attacked us earlier with the tear gas. The fallen men must have weapons on their person. Gather as many as you can. Right now guns are the only things we can use.”

         “I’ll go get them,” Farlan said.

         The door shut and I wondered how long we would have to wait here. I wanted to return to the sanctuary and keep the rest of my men safe. I already failed them once. I wouldn’t do it again.

         The back door opened up again after a few minutes, and Farlan deposited several rifles at my feet. “That’s all I could find.”

         “That’s good enough,” I told him, handing a rifle to both Gunther and Auruo. Then I gave one back to Farlan. “Give that one to Erd.”

         “Okay.”

         As he went to shut the door, I said, “Hey, if things turn out for the worst here, I want you to run. I want you to leave all of us behind.”

         “I would never do that. I would never abandon my family.”

         “She’s pregnant. Isabel. I know it’s not my place to tell you, but I need you to understand how much she needs you. So, if things begin to go sour, you get out. Do you understand me?”

         Farlan stayed quiet for what felt like a long time. Then he said, “I understand.”

         “Incoming!” Jean yelled. We all snapped to attention. “Honk the fucking horn. This is worse than humans. They sent one of their freaks. An alpha that’s been injected with that shit that turns them against their own kind. She’s coming in fast too. Shit. Give me a gun. I’m going to try to take her out before she reaches us.”

         Erd laid down on the horn. It sounded too loud, too alarming. Eren had barely left. There was no way he found us a vehicle by now.

         A gunshot sounded. Then another. And another.

         “Fucking hell,” Jean muttered. “Everything’s blurry.”

         “She’s too fast,” Farlan said. “Dammit. She’s almost as fast as Eren. Is she a royal too?”

         Jean laughed. It sounded angry. “Great. That’s exactly what we need right now. Another royal.”

         More gunshots, but judging by Jean’s continuous curses, the bullets weren’t hitting the alpha.

         “Farlan, get in the car,” I ordered, snagging him by the front of the shirt. I yanked him in and took his place. “I’ll lead her away from here. Not even the strongest alpha can resist an omega’s pheromones.”

         Before any of them could talk me out of it, I began to run down the dirt road. I didn’t have to see to know that the alpha was following after me. With omegas becoming scarce after the purge, remaining alphas were immediately drawn to the overly sweet pheromones. It was a temptation they simply couldn’t pass up, and that’s what I was counting on.

         “LEVI!” Jean shouted from somewhere behind me. “She’s right on your tail!”

         Something slammed into my back, sending me flying. I crashed onto the ground. A lick of pain shot up my arm, but I was quick to whip around. I cursed my blurry eyesight. I couldn’t make this alpha out. Although I could smell her just fine.

         “An omega,” she said. “How thrilling.”

         I bared my teeth. “Fuck you.” Then I realized something. She didn’t sound possessed. Was she with the humans? “Have you been injected?”

         “I’m not here to answer your questions. I’ve been sent here to kill all of you except for the one that they want.”

         “So you work for the very people who are destroying your kind! You’re revolting!”

         She laughed. “My reasons are my own.”

         “How are you just standing there? You aren’t being overpowered by lust.” I blinked several times, but my vision didn’t clear.

         “Is that what you were hoping for?” She knelt down in front of me. She flicked at something on her face. “This is a gas mask specifically made to block out omega pheromones. I can’t afford to be distracted.”

         “I’ll kill you!” I shot forward, but she pressed the toe of her boot against my chest and kicked me back down.

         “You’re not strong enough to kill me. But you do have information that I want, so I’ll keep you alive for a little longer.” She put her full weight on my chest, keeping me pinned to the ground. “Where’s the alpha they sent me after? I can’t track him. He’s too fast, and he’s somehow found a way to mask his scent. Something like that should be impossible.”

         I smiled. It probably looked maniacal. “I hope you never find him.”

         She applied more pressure to my chest. I sputtered.

         “By the way you’re speaking, he’s your mate, isn’t he?” she said. “Which means you’ll smell of him.” She tore off the gas mask and yanked me up in order to smell the scent coming off me. I expected her to kill me straight after, but she just stood there, frozen. As I began to struggle, she released me.

         “Afraid of his scent? Good.”

         She didn’t respond for some time. Then one word left her: “Eren.”

         The sound of my mate’s name leaving her mouth alarmed me. “How do you know him?”

         “He’s alive,” she said, sounding close to tears. “I thought he’d died. I went back to look for him. I couldn’t find him.” She whipped around. “Where is he? I need to talk to him before the humans return.”

         I shot to my feet. “Who the fuck are you?”

         Now she turned to look at me. “I’m Mikasa, his adopted sister.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of you thought the female alpha would turn out to be Annie, but no cigar. Actually, I introduced Annie in chapter 12, but seeing as it takes me 5ever to update, I'm not surprised a lot of you forgot. xD
> 
> But update time! I hope you enjoy reading. :)

I stood there staring at this alpha as though I could pick all the information I needed straight out of her head. She was claiming to be one of the friends Eren so desperately wanted to find, but could she be lying in hopes that I would let my guard down? For all I knew the humans she worked for could have learned the identities of the people Eren had been pursuing for the past several years. If that were the case, then this could be a ploy to lure my alpha into a trap and that wasn’t something I was willing to risk. It didn’t matter who she said she was, the fact that she was with the enemy kept me wary.

            While I thought over what to do, both Jean and Farlan gathered around us, inching closer to Mikasa with their guns drawn. She didn’t seem concerned by their approach. Her eyes were scanning the area around us. It wasn’t until Jean cocked his rifle that she paid him any attention at all.

            Her dark eyes flicked in his direction, but she held her ground. “You’re nothing to Eren, so I won’t have a problem snapping your neck.”

            “Go ahead and try,” Jean said, aiming the muzzle at her head. “You’ll be dead before you can even move.”

            The part of me that was dominated by instincts wanted Jean to pull the trigger and kill the enemy on the spot, but the rational part knew that if this truly was Eren’s adopted sister, then killing her was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to take Eren’s feelings into account. He’d been looking for this person for quite a long time. I couldn’t just allow Jean to shoot her down. We would keep her alive until Eren returned. He could decide her fate from there.

            “Don’t shoot her,” I said. “She could be Eren’s sister.”

            Jean’s eyes bulged. “Are you kidding me right now? How in the hell is she his sister if she’s running errands for the humans? She deserves to die for treachery.”

            “I’m not doing this for pleasure,” Mikasa said in a calm tone.

            “It sure seems that way to me.”

            She looked away from him. “You don’t know anything.”

            “Just keep your gun on her,” I said, “but don’t shoot unless she tries anything.”

            I would have to trust Farlan and Jean to keep Mikasa in check if she decided to cause problems for us, because my vision was becoming too clouded to focus on her. I had to fight the urge to rub at my eyes until the stinging subsided, even when I knew that touching the contaminated areas would only serve to make things worse. What I wanted was to head back to the sanctuary with the remaining members of my squad. Staying out here in the open was just asking for trouble, but as of right now there was really nothing we could do except wait for Eren to come back. And I would wait for him for as long as I needed to. There was no way I was leaving without him in tow.

            With Farlan keeping watch, I turned my attention to our surroundings. There was nothing out here we could use to repair the armored car. We had left the sanctuary in such a rush that we came unprepared for any obstacles we may encounter along the way. If I could go back in time, I would suggest bringing an extra vehicle as a backup plan, but that didn’t matter much now. No amount of wishing we’d gone about things differently would change our current situation.

            “Where the fuck is Eren?” Jean said, never once taking his eyes off Mikasa, who in turn never took her eyes off him. “We can’t stand around here forever. We’re sitting ducks right now.”

            Farlan nudged Mikasa’s shoulder with the muzzle of his rifle to gain her attention. When she gazed at him, he asked, “Where are the soldiers you were with? Are they near here?”

            “They’re close by, but they won’t come until I give them the signal to. They aren’t willing to take any chances with the alpha they’re after.” She shook her head, as if she suddenly remembered something important. “I mean Eren. They won’t take any chances with Eren. He’s caused a lot of destruction when they ran into him in the past. They wanted me to take him down before they approached him.”

            “Cowards,” hissed Jean.

            “I won’t deny that,” Mikasa said.

            Jean narrowed his eyes at her. “Says the person that’s doing their bidding.”

            “I already told you that I’m not doing this because I get a kick out of killing my own kind. I have my reasons.”

            “Which are?” he urged.

            “I fail to see why I should explain myself to you.”

            “Maybe because I’m pointing a gun at your head.”

            “That’s enough,” I snapped. “Both of you shut up. We need to get back to the car. Being separated from the others makes us easier targets.”

            “After you.” Jean jerked his chin to the side, signaling for Mikasa to go ahead of us. She walked forward without sparing him a glance. He followed close behind her as she made her way back to the car, the gun trained on her head all the while. His whole demeanor shouted confidence. I could tell that this wasn’t his first time handling a gun. He looked too comfortable with it, which made me wonder what occupation he had before the purge. As a matter of fact, how old was he? I hadn’t even been given the chance to ask him.

            “How are you feeling?” Farlan came to walk beside me. He was keeping to my side, just like Eren ordered.

            “Other than the fact that I can’t see too good and my face burns, I’d say I’m doing swell.”

            “We’ll make it out of this. I believe Eren will pull through.”

            I had no doubt that he would pull through for us. I just wished he would show up soon. It made me uneasy to think that he was out there alone, without any backup. Why hadn’t he returned yet? He assured us he would be able to hear if Erd honked the horn. Or had he gone too far to hear it? I hated not knowing. I hated being away from him at a time like this. And on top of everything else, two of mine had been taken.

            Would Petra and Hanji even make it through the night? And if they did, what would the human soldiers force them to do?

            Farlan put his hand on my shoulder when my scent gave away my evident distress. “Don’t worry too much. Your alpha would do anything to return to you.”

            “I know. It’s just—There are some things that not even he can change.”

            “Hanji and Petra?”

            I nodded. “I let them down. If I’d only listened to Eren, things would have gone differently.”

            “You can’t blame yourself for how you reacted back there,” Farlan said. “I would have done the same thing for Isabel. The bond between mates is too strong to disregard, and that bond only strengthens as more time passes. Besides”—he elbowed me in the arm—“what you and Eren have is much stronger than a bonded pair. You haven’t even mated with him and yet you two revolve around each other. It’s like you chose one another long before you met.”

            Hanji’s words came back to the forefront of my mind. On several occasions, she’d urged me to accept that Eren and I were destined mates. That we didn’t need a bond mark to tie us together. I’d been reluctant to believe her because the suppressants had taken a toll on my body and there was no reversing the effects they had on me. Now with her gone, there was even less hope of discovering a way to fix the damaged caused by the serum. Yet I couldn’t deny it any longer. Eren was my destined mate. And all Hanji had wanted was for me to believe that so I could be happy with him in the time I had left.

            _I’m sorry it took something like this for me to accept it, Hanj._

When we reached the car, Mikasa leaned up against it and slipped her gas mask back on. She shut her eyes and ignored Jean, who stood in front of her with his gun still pointed at her head.

            I tapped on the back door. “Are you guys all right in there?”

            The door swung open. Gunther and Auruo were right where I left them. As was Erd.

            “We were going to head after you,” Auruo said, “but I can’t see a damn thing. We would have been of no help.”

            “You don’t have to explain yourselves. I didn’t want any of you to come after me. I’m glad that you stayed in the car.”

            From what I could see, which was nothing but blurry shapes, they both looked guilty. I tried to think of a way to reassure them that it was okay, but was stopped short when I heard something crash into the side of the car. I leaped back in surprise, cursing under my breath as I reached for a weapon that wasn’t there. But I was given too much time to recuperate. Then his scent hit me all at once.

            Eren.

            I ran around to the side of the car and could barely make him out in front of me. I had to blink several times to bring him into focus. He had Mikasa pinned up against the car, his forearm pressed to her neck. With how much pressure he was applying, it had to be painful, but she didn’t do anything to defend herself. All she did was bring her hands up to wrap them around his wrists. The gesture was gentle. There was no force behind it. It was like she was trying to speak to him through that simple touch.

            “Eren,” I began.

            “Stay back,” he said in a voice that hardly resembled his own. “I’ll deal with this. Just get back in the car.”

            “No, wait, don’t hurt her. She said she was Mikasa. She said she was your adopted sister.”

            For a few seconds that felt like hours, he just stood there holding his position. Then he eased his arm back and Mikasa coughed as she breathed in gulps of air.

            “Mikasa?” Eren said. There was so much emotion in his voice now. It was nothing like it was before.

            Mikasa pulled down the gas mask to reveal the rest of her face. She didn’t wait for him to recognize her. She threw her arms around him and buried her face against the crook of his neck. I could hear her crying as she repeated his name over and over, like she couldn’t believe he was right there in her arms.

            “I looked for you,” she sobbed. “I went back so many times. You have to believe me when I tell you that I tried to find you. I never gave up.”

            “Mikasa, hey, look at me.” He leaned back and took her face into his hands so he could make eye contact with her. “I believe you.”

            Jean took this moment to point out what Farlan and I were reluctant to say. He stepped toward them and said, “She attacked us. She even knocked down your omega pretty good. With how hard he fell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he fractured his arm.”

            “It’s not that bad,” I said in a rush.

            Jean kept going. “She’s working for the humans, and as you can see, she hasn’t been injected with that shit that drives alphas against their own kind. So she’s with them out of her own free will. She may be your sister, but she needs to explain herself, and I suggest she do it quick. We don’t have time to be standing around all night.”

            “I don’t understand,” Eren said, dropping his hands to his sides. He looked so confused and betrayed. “You attacked them? You attacked Levi?”

            Mikasa grabbed his hand in both of hers. “Please. I didn’t want things to end up this way, but I had no other choice. If I wanted to save Armin, then I had to join them. They were going to do things to him, Eren. They were going to use him to sate alphas they already injected. Do you understand what that means? Those crazed alphas would’ve raped Armin until he died, so I became the monster you see in front of you in order to protect him. I had to protect him.” She broke off on a sob. “I couldn’t lose him. Not after I lost you...”

            “So you go around killing helpless people to keep one person alive?” Jean snarled, raising his gun once again. “Fuck you, you know that? We all had to make hard decisions. We all lost someone!”

            I stepped in front of Jean, but his eyes remained on Mikasa. “Put the gun down.”

            “Why should I? She would have killed you if you didn’t smell of Eren. She wouldn’t have had a problem killing all of us.”

            “Put it down!” demanded Eren.

            “Make me, you prick!” Jean shouted. Then he kept his eyes on Mikasa as he said, “We’re all in this shitfest together. We’re all we have, don’t you get that? And you’re sitting there killing innocent people who have already lost everything. How can you live with yourself? You’re even worse than the humans.”

            Mikasa shook her head as tears trailed down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

            “We’ll discuss this later. Right now we need to get out of here.” Eren looked at me and winced. “Your face looks worse. We have to wash the rest of the tear gas off before it can do anymore damage. Come on. I brought back one of their vehicles. It’ll be a tight fit, but it will get us to where we need to go.”

            “I’ll buy you as much time as I can,” Mikasa said.

            “What are you talking about? You’re coming with us.”

            “I can’t.” Before Eren could say anything else, she turned around and scooped up her hair. There was a small silver device sticking out of her neck. Every so often it would flash green. “It’s a tracking device that’s hooked to my cervical vertebrae. I can’t get it out without causing extensive damage to my spinal cord. It records where I am at all times, and if I go out of boundaries, it will self-detonate. There’s no way around this. Either I stay, or they find you.”

            “No.” Eren was shaking his head. “No. We’ll find a way to get it out. Just come with us—”

            “You can’t take that risk,” Mikasa said, turning back around to face him. “I won’t let you do that for me. What I want is for you to go. I can’t let them capture you. You have no idea what plans they have.”

            “I can’t leave you behind.”

            “You can, and you will.” She grabbed his hand again. “There’s a place not too far from here. It’s right passed the mountain. I want you to meet me there in one week. You can’t save me, but you can save Armin. I’ll drop him off there, so please be sure to come get him. Please.”

            Eren stared at her with an anguished expression. Then he pulled her into a hug. “I’ll get him. I promise. And don’t think that I’ll just abandon you. I’m going to find a way to help you. I will.”

            “You need to go.” She looked at me. “I’ll try to get your friends back, but I can’t make any promises.”

            I didn’t know what to say to that, so I kept quiet.

            “Eren, lead the way out of here.” Farlan rounded up Erd, Gunther, and Auruo, who stood silent beside him. “Don’t worry about these guys. I’ll keep track of them.”

            “So will I,” Jean said.   

            Eren looked at Mikasa one last time before he lifted me into his arms. Then he darted into the corn field. I could hear the others directly behind us.

            “It’s not far from here,” he told me. “We’ll be there soon, and then I’m taking you home.”

            I couldn’t even imagine how leaving his sister must have made him feel. He hadn’t seen her for years and now he was being forced to go on without her. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. Why were we being punished for something we couldn’t control? I didn’t choose to be an omega. None of us would have chosen to be something that was hunted down.

            Jean was right. All we had was each other.

            “It’s right up ahead.” Eren held me closer to him. “We’re going to make it out of this.”

            It started to rain. Cold drops landed on my face and reactivated the tear gas. As my skin began to burn, I questioned what had been the point of coming out here. We had been put right in the middle of a trap, so what would be waiting for us back at the sanctuary? If Erwin planned this, then he wanted us dead, which meant he would be prepared for our return. But none of this made any sense. Hanji was right when she said aside from Mike, Erwin had sent out his best soldiers. So why had things come to this?

            Eren stopped in front of an army truck that had several bullet holes in the canopy. Nothing major seemed to be damaged, but the cab was only big enough to fit three people. The rest would have to ride in the back.

            “I wouldn’t advise telling Erwin about your planned meeting with that alpha,” Jean said as he pulled open the passenger side door for him. “If this was a setup, which I’m sure it was, then that fucker can’t be trusted.”

            After Eren sat me down in the seat, he said, “I already know that.”

            “I figured you did, but I wanted to give you a heads up nonetheless.” Jean gestured to Farlan and the rest of the men to get in the back of the truck, but before he joined them, he had one last thing to say. He slung the strap of the rifle over his head and then gazed at Eren head on. “This looks like it was Erwin, but there’s a strong possibility that it wasn’t. And if that’s the case, then we have a spy in our midst.”

            “I also thought about that. Do you think it could be one of the people that came with you from the other compound?”

            “I know all of them well except for Ymir and Annie. They joined us a couple months ago. Both of them seem sketchy, if you ask me.”

            “I want you to keep an eye on them when we get back,” Eren said. Jean nodded once in agreement. “As for Erwin, you leave him to me.”

            “Oh, I will.”

            “Good. Now let’s get out of here.”

            After Jean got into the back, Eren climbed into the driver’s seat and started up the engine. He took my hand in his and steered the truck through the corn field without the use of headlights. He didn’t need them with his keen eyesight, and it was best to stay as inconspicuous as we could. The last thing we needed was to be found after everything that happened.

            “Are you feeling all right?” he asked.

            I nodded. “I’ll be okay.”

            While he drove, I looked out the window at the dark clouds that were bursting with rain. Was this it? Was this all life had to offer us now? How long would we be able to keep this up before we were found and killed? We wouldn’t be able to hold out like this forever. One day we were bound to fall.

            “Levi?” Eren said. There was something funny about the way he said it, like he was doing his best to sound normal.

            “Yeah?” I turned to him and saw that he was clenching his teeth tight enough to strain his jaw. “What’s wrong?”

            “Your scent...” he cut off and gripped the steering wheel as though he had every intention on crushing it.

            “My scent?” I brought my wrist to my nose. I could hardly smell anything due to the tear gas stuffing up my nose. “I can’t smell anything.”

            He made a soft noise in the back of his throat that made my skin feel too tight over my bones. I may not have been able to smell him, but I could tell that he was struggling to keep himself in control. His entire body shook as he fought to keep his instincts at bay. With how he was behaving, it didn’t take me long to realize that I must have been going into heat. My body was too weak for me to feel much of anything, but there was no other explanation for how he was acting.

            I chuckled. “I have great timing, don’t I?”

            “Don’t worry. I’ll get you to the sanctuary. Hanji told me there’s a specific part of the medical wing to take you to if something like this happened.”

            I leaned my head against the window. I was so tired. It was times like these that reminded me I wasn’t in good shape. “I don’t want to keep running away from you, Eren,” I said. “I want us to be together in every way possible, so when we get back to the sanctuary, don’t take me to that place Hanji told you about. Take me to your apartment.”

            “What? You want to...mate with me?”

            “Yes. I’m finally ready to be yours.”  


	18. Chapter 18

A few months before my mother’s death, and just after my sixth birthday, I saw a comet streak across the night sky while I looked out my bedroom window. I remember thinking it was unlike anything I’d ever seen, and it felt like a dormant part of me that was buried deep in my heart had come alive at the sight. I often think about that moment as a symbol of hope, a natural phenomenon that indicated I would make it through the upcoming years without my mother. Now, sitting here next to Eren in this cramped army truck, I was grateful that I’d held onto that hope, even when all I wanted to do was let it burn out. And it had come so close to burning out all on its own, but through his patience and understanding, Eren had reignited it.

            Now it burned bigger and brighter than it ever had before, like he’d struck a match in my mind and lit a fire that engulfed any doubts I had left. It effectively erased them when nothing else could. There wasn’t a trace of fear as the familiar symptoms of heat began to appear. Not even as my body temperature rose and turned my muscles into liquid. All I wanted was to close the space separating us. I wanted to feel his hands on every part of my body. I wanted this so badly that it took everything in me not to hurl myself at him.

            “We’ll be there soon,” Eren said when he noticed me shift in my seat. The evident strain in his voice made me tip my head back and squeeze my eyes shut. God, I wanted to drown in his voice. “Levi, are you feeling all right? Is it too much for you to sit this close to me?”

            “I’m fine. Just thinking.” _About how much I want you to touch me._

            “About Erwin? Don’t worry about him. I’ll take care of—”

            “No,” I said, cutting him off. The last person I wanted to talk about was Erwin. “I’m not thinking about what will happen to us once we return to the sanctuary. I’m thinking about you. About us.”

            “Oh.” That’s all he said.

            I peered at him through the locks of hair that fell over my eyes. He held onto the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. I could see he was doing everything in his power to keep himself in check. Right now, with us being in human territory, he wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted by his desires. His first priority was to get us all home in one piece. And as much as I wanted him to alleviate this heat running its course through my body, I wouldn’t risk the lives of the others.

            “I’m going to have to talk to Erwin when we get to the sanctuary,” Eren said in a voice that was as thick and sweet as honey. _God._ “Is there anyone you trust to watch over you while I set things straight with him? Someone you know wouldn’t attempt anything while you’re in this state?”

            “Isabel. I trust her with my life.”

            “I’ll have Farlan go in and get her the moment we arrive.” He glanced at me for a second, but it was long enough for me to see that his eyes were flashing from green to silver as he fought to remain in control of his instincts. “Levi, before anything happens between us, I want you to be sure of what you’re doing. I don’t want you to do anything you might regret once your heat is over. Maybe it would be best if we wait it out...”

            “I’ll lose my mind if you make me wait any longer than I already have to. Even before we set out on this mission, I’d already decided I wanted to mate with you.” I reached across the space between us and grabbed his hand. His hand was larger and stronger than mine, with long, slender fingers that caused something to curl and uncurl in the pit of my stomach. “I’ll never want anyone else. You’re the only alpha—no, that’s not the right way to phrase it—you’re the only _person_ I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. I’m not going to regret being with you, Eren. The only thing I regret is waiting this long to accept you.”

            Eren looked down at our hands before he returned his gaze to the path ahead. “I want to be gentle with you, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay level-headed long enough to be anything other than rough. I’ve never mated with anyone before and just the thought of having you makes me crazy.”

            “You can be gentle with me another time. Right now I really just want you to make me forget my own name.”

            He blinked into his royal form for several seconds before he summoned enough willpower to shift back. “Fuck. How fast do you think I can make this truck go without blowing out all the tires at once?”

 

\---

 

It was dark out when Eren reached the sanctuary. The rain had picked up by then, so the lone building looked dark and gloomy from behind the speckled windshield. I didn’t know what to expect when we went in there, but I wasn’t afraid of what was to come. I trusted my alpha to take care of everything.

            “Wait here,” Eren said as he pushed open his door. “I’m going to run inside with Farlan. If everything goes smoothly, Isabel should be out here in no time. If she doesn’t come out, then you wait for me in the truck. I’ll be back for you no matter what happens in there.”

            I turned in my seat and leaned forward. Since I couldn’t trust myself to touch him without demanding for more, I settled for flicking my tongue across his bottom lip before trapping it in between my teeth. I gave it a sharp tug, then said, “Try not to take too long.”

            He stumbled—literally stumbled and almost fell right out of the truck—back. With raindrops soaking into his hair and clothes, he asked, “Do you value Erwin’s life?”

            “Why?”

            “Because after what you just did, if he tries to keep me longer than fifteen minutes, I’ll probably wind up killing him. Save myself some time.”

            I laughed. “No killing allowed for now. Unless he tries something first, then of course you have to defend yourself.”

            “Is knocking him out acceptable?”

            “Completely acceptable.”

            He leaned in and kissed me once, twice, then said, “I won’t keep you waiting for long.”

            “You better not.”

            After he shut the door, he went around back to round Farlan up. They both disappeared inside the building a few minutes later and I leaned back in the seat. No amount of moving was going to make me comfortable. Everything felt too tight, yet lax at the same time, like my bones had been warped into dried out clay. It took a tremendous amount of effort not to squirm in place to relieve some of the ache.

            _Eren..._

            I’d never wanted anyone to touch me as much as I wanted him to. It was a bone deep desire that made the blood running through my veins come to a boil. And, more than anything else, I desperately wanted to touch him in return. I hungered to map out the planes of his body, to become familiar with every curve and dip of his muscles. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I grew intimate with all the little details that no one else knew about, like a scatter of freckles hidden where no one could see them.

            If only we had all the time in the world.

            If only we weren’t in the middle of war.

            Too occupied with my thoughts, I didn’t see Isabel until after she opened the passenger side door. Startled, I drew back, but then I saw her brilliant smile and relaxed. She was soaked already.

            “Your face looks like shit,” she said by way of greeting, pushing away the mop of red hair that was plastered to her forehead. “But I’m here to collect you. Eren made me swear I’d get you inside safely. I mean, he literally went royal and _ordered_ it of me. So I might die if you don’t get inside as you are right now.”

            I chuckled. “Maybe I should trip on the way in. You know, scuff up my elbows a bit.”

            “I’ll do more than scuff up your elbows if you pull that on me. Come on, though. I don’t want to stay out here any longer than we have to.”

            I stepped out of the truck and rapped on the side of it. “Come on out! We’re heading inside!”

            Erd, Gunther, Auruo, and Jean shuffled out. When Jean was near enough to me to take in my scent, he reared back as if he’d been sucker punched in the gut. I’d forgotten all about him being an alpha.

            Shit. I didn’t want to deal with this.

            Both Gunther and Erd grabbed onto Jean’s arms the second they understood what was happening. They hauled him toward the front entrance without giving him a chance to cave into his instincts. “Let’s get you out of here before you do something stupid,” muttered Auruo. Jean snorted in response, but didn’t do anything to resist.

            I waited until they put some distance between us, then steered Isabel in the direction of the building to get us both out of the rain. We hurried through the main room toward the back. There was a hidden manhole under removable floorboards. It was still open from when the others entered. We climbed down inside and I made sure to cover the entrance before heading down to the passageway that connected to the top floor of the sanctuary.

            Now that we were safe, Isabel relaxed some, but the stern expression never left her face. Finally, she said, “I noticed that Petra and Hanji weren’t with you guys. What happened to them?”

            I winced. Of course she would notice that. Had I expected to keep it a secret? “They were taken when we were under attack.”

            “Taken? So they could still be alive?”

            “Petra... I think she was severely wounded.”

            Isabel kept walking, but I could see that she was having a hard time digesting the information. It always hurt to lose someone you’d grown close to, especially when that someone was one of your fellow comrades you had fought alongside for years. “Thank you,” she said, surprising me with the sudden mood change. “You know, for bringing back Farlan. I was so worried that something would happen to him while he was out there, but now that he’s returned safely...” She turned to me with tears in her eyes. “I’m so relieved.”

            I put my hand on her shoulder. “He would’ve climbed mountains to get back to you.”

            “I know,” she said, voice trembling.

            “I want to let you know that I told him you were pregnant. I know it wasn’t my place, but he was being stubborn.”

            “No, I’m glad you told him. I know how he is. He would’ve put his life in danger in order to protect his comrades. So if telling him made him cautious, then all I can do is thank you for that.”

            We didn’t speak again until we reached Eren’s apartment. I punched in the four-digit code to open the front door, then turned toward her. “Thank you for walking me here.”

            “No problem. I’ll run down to the medical wing and get you all the things you’ll need during your heat. With how long you’ve been suppressing it, it should last for about a week.”

            “I know, but it’s okay.”

            She grinned from ear to ear. “You’re going to mate with Eren, aren’t you?”

            To my surprise, there wasn’t even a hint of embarrassment or shame. I was proud of who I’d chosen to be my mate. “Yes,” I said.

            “I’m happy for you. You deserve someone like Eren. He’s strong, loyal, and one of the most respectful alphas I’ve ever met.”

            Now it was my turn to grin. “I’m damn proud of that, too.”

            “I bet you are.”

            “Go away.” I shoved her playfully.

            “Whatever you say, _sir._ ”

            Once I convinced her to leave, which took a generous amount of patience, I went into the apartment and headed straight to the bathroom. I needed to get out of these wet clothes and wash off the remnants of the tear gas. Since I couldn’t depend on my legs to hold up my weight long enough to shower, I decided to draw myself a bath. I waited for the tub to fill before I undressed. Then I climbed inside and let my body sink into the warm water.

            Relaxed, I went about the mechanics of washing myself, a little too giddy using Eren’s things. I was almost done when I heard someone enter the apartment. Minutes passed before a knock came at the door.

            “Levi?” It was Eren, sounding cautious. “I met with Isabel out front. She brought over some medical bath oil that should ease the burns caused by the tear gas.”

            “Bring it in here,” I said.

            “In there? Do you want me to just set it on the counter?”

            I rolled my eyes. “Get in here and find out, Eren.”

            It took him a while to work up the nerve to step into the bathroom. When he did, he kept his eyes pinned to a spot on the wall just above my head. He wouldn’t even look at me. He was also too far away to reach.

            I groaned. Had I caused this type of behavior by being so hot and cold with him since the moment we met?

            This was the worst type of punishment, and the worst part was I deserved it.

            “Would you put the bath oil in for me?” I asked, crossing my arms over the side of the tub. I waited for him to come closer.

            He licked his bottom lip, closed his eyes for a number of seconds, then walked up to the tub with slow, calculated steps. He knelt down beside it and unscrewed the cap of the bath oil. As he poured some into the water, filling the air with the scent of white tea, I said, “You know, you should bathe, too.”

            He froze. “I-I could always wait for you to be finished with yours.”

            “Or”—I rose onto my knees and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt—“you could join me. As a matter of fact, I’d prefer that.” Water from my hand dripped onto his bare stomach. The droplets traveled down warm, kissable skin before they soaked into the waistband of his boxer briefs. Unable to resist the tempting sight, I bent forward and licked up the remaining drops. The shudder that went through him goaded me on. I quickly unbuttoned his jeans, tugged the zipper down, and eyed the evident swell of his arousal. I couldn’t stop myself from burying my face against it.

            All the air hissed out of Eren at once. “L-Levi.” He swallowed as his eyes pinched shut. “I need you to slow down.”

            “Why?” I mouthed at him, wanting to remove the fabric preventing me from tasting him. I went to slide his boxers down, but he captured my wrists in his hands and kept them still. I looked up at him with a questioning gaze. “Do you not want to?”

            “You have no idea how badly I want to.”

            “Then what’s the problem?” I wiggled my wrists in his grasp.

            “I keep almost shifting. I can’t... can’t completely control it. I don’t want to get out of hand. I could hurt you.”

            “Oh, for the love of my sanity, _please_ get out of hand. Right the fuck now.”

            Eren’s eyes, somehow caught between green and silver, flicked down to my face. He ran the pad of his thumb over my parted lips. “Do you really want me this way? I won’t be able to stop once I start.”

            “I don’t want you to stop,” I said. “I’m yours. I want you in any way I can have you.”

            An expression I couldn’t even begin to decipher settled on his face and turned his features sharp. I waited for him to make the first move, completely at his mercy, and almost moaned in relief when he lifted me out of the water. He carried me into his bedroom, where he spread me out on the bed. My instincts returned with vengeance as he slid his T-shirt off. Before he could even think to stop me, I turned onto my stomach and pushed his jeans and boxers down over his hips until they pooled at his feet. He didn’t even attempt to intervene. He just stood there looking at me like a predator would its prey.

            Fuck. It was so perfect.

            Gazing up at him with desperation, I dragged my tongue across the head of his cock before I took it into my mouth. The sharp taste of pre-come hit the back of my throat and I moaned around him greedily, moving forward until my nose was buried in the coarse hair above his pelvis. He smelled so good here, like a concentrated version of his scent. It turned me on so much that I started grinding my hips against the mattress. The sheets rubbed along my erection with each thrust of my hips, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. I needed so much more than this.

            Eren watched my every move with eyes that flicked from green to silver like a faulty light. He was still trying to reign in his instincts, but I wanted him to lose control and shift into his royal form.

            I wanted him at his wildest.

            With that one goal in mind, I pulled back and let him slide out of my mouth, but I didn’t release him. I gripped him at the base and licked a trail to his balls. I kept a close watch on his face as I coaxed one into my mouth with my tongue, giving it a tentative suck, unsure of what reaction I would get. But when his mouth fell open on a ragged groan and his hips jerked forward, I decided I liked that reaction. A lot.

            “Levi,” he said in a voice layered with gravel, “w-wait a minute.”

            “No more waiting.” I traced a vein on his cock with the tip of my tongue, feeling it throb. “I’m sick of waiting. I want you inside of me.”

            He looked so torn that I couldn’t help but falter in my advancements. He dropped his gaze as he said, “When we first met, you were so afraid when I touched you. You looked like you hated it, and after you told me about your mother, I understood why that was. That’s why I’m scared that those fears will resurface after this. I don’t want you to hate me, Levi. I won’t know what to do if things turned out that way. And I’m considerably stronger than most alphas, so if I lose control... What will you think of me when you see me that way?”

            For a long moment all I could do was stare at him in anguish. He was doing everything he could to stay in control of himself because he was terrified that seeing him give into his instincts would make me think of the alpha that had killed my mother.

            But he wasn’t anything like the monster who had taken my mother’s life. He would never be like that.

            I touched the key I’d given him. He still wore it around his neck, and whenever I caught sight of it, I remembered why I’d given it to him in the first place. “You’re right,” I said. “I was afraid. I was afraid of what you are. Of what you could take from me. But above all else, I was afraid of how I responded to you.” I kissed his chest, directly over his heart. “But I’m not afraid anymore, because you’ve shown me how you don’t allow your instincts to rule your every move. I trust you, Eren. With everything. And this isn’t the heat talking. This is me. _I_ want you. I’d want you even if I weren’t an omega. Hell, I’d want you even if we were reborn in a different time at a different place, because I love you. I love you, Eren, and being without you hurts and—”

            He silenced me with a kiss, and then there was nothing but his scent and the heady taste of him on my tongue. I threaded my fingers in his hair and yanked him closer to me with a groan.

            “Say it again.” He licked the roof of my mouth. “I want to hear it again.”

            “I love you.”

            Eren grabbed both my hands and brought them above my head as he lowered his body over mine. He released my hand to press my knee to the bed, opening me up wide. I barely had time to make sense of my jumbled thoughts when I felt his finger slip inside of me with ease. I threw my arms around his back and held onto him like he was the only thing keeping me pinned to the bed.

            “Am I hurting you?” he asked in a voice that sounded only the barest part human, even as I ground my hips down onto his finger over and over again.

            I shook my head, unable to comprehend words, let alone speak them. “I...” His finger stilled as he waited for my response. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

            He pressed another finger into me and I came undone. I couldn’t control the frantic movement of my hips, couldn’t stop the incoherent sounds I was making. But still, I wanted...

            “More,” I begged.

            Settling in between my legs, he shifted his hips and the head of his cock slid inside me without any effort on his part. My entrance slick and open for him. “Fuck,” he hissed in surprise, skin shimmering to pearl before snapping back to tan. “Can’t... even think. I won’t... won’t be able to control myself like this.”

            “I don’t want control. I don’t want control at all.” To prove that, I slammed my hips down and cried out in satisfaction as every inch of him filled me.

            Oh, god, _yes._

            Eren grabbed onto my waist to keep me still and my eyes snapped up to his. There wasn’t a trace of green left in his irises. His gaze shone silver and his skin held the pearly hue I’d come to love. He was all alpha now, powerful and strong, and I wouldn’t want him any other way.

            “This is how I want you,” I told him in a trembling voice as I ran my hand down his tone stomach. “I want us both to give into our instincts for once. I don’t want us to be ashamed of what we are. Not for this.”

            He stared at me for a long while, then leaned forward to press our lips together in a feverish kiss. His tongue slid into my mouth to move against mine, and I wiggled my hips beneath him, impatient, but this time he didn’t stop me. This time he responded almost frantically, thrusting into me until I was shouting with it. And all I could do was cling onto him as he pushed us up on the bed.

            “Deeper,” I gasped, back arching off the bed at a ridiculous angle. I dug my nails into his shoulders and dragged them down the length of his spine, too lost in the intensity of it all to care if I was hurting him. “I want you deeper.”

            Eren’s brilliant eyes blazed as he slammed deeper into me. I spread my legs wider and he slid deeper still, which pulled a breathless, “Levi,” from him.

            He sounded so wrecked. So ruined.

            I was close, so ready for release. With his unrestrained groans at my ear and his sweat-slicked body straining over mine, I came hard enough for my vision to go black, and I was only slightly aware of the harsh sounds pouring out of me. The only thing I strained to focus on was Eren and how he kept moaning my name as he followed me into orgasm.

            Afterwards, we both lay panting in unison. It took him a while to recuperate, but when he did, he went to move off me. I stopped him by wrapping my arms around him.

            “Let’s stay like this,” I said, exhausted from everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

            He lifted his chin just a little bit, to scan my face. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

            “No. I’m perfect.”

            He kissed my neck, growling softly as his lips brushed over my scent gland. “You should sleep some. Today has been a crazy day.”

            I nodded, too sleepy to do much else. But before I could drift off, Eren cupped my face and directed my gaze toward him. When he saw he had my full attention, he said, “I love you, too, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know most alpha/omega smut is hardcore and shit gets wild, but I wanted to keep it realistic. I mean, having sex for the first time is not smooth and perfect. Hell, it never goes as you imagine it, so I wanted to stay true to that. Plus, Eren was far more worried than I thought he would be. He didn't want to do anything that would make Levi hate him. My poor, precious child.
> 
> But Levi's heat is lasting for a solid week, so obviously more things will come, and Eren will be more relaxed about the whole thing next time around (Levi was already relaxed). xD
> 
> Anyway, thank you very much for reading and for leaving me comments! <3


	19. Chapter 19

I was aware that these moments of peace were nothing more than an illusion. Outside these walls, the war against our kind raged on. Captives like Hanji, Petra, and Mikasa were experiencing the cruelty of humans firsthand. Yet, in spite of everything that happened during our expedition, I couldn’t focus on anything other than the alpha lying beside me. For now, we were safe in each other’s arms, and I wouldn’t take this time with him for granted. Sooner or later our problems would come crashing down on us. So I planned on making the most of these stolen moments until we were forced out of our haven.

            I studied Eren’s face in the dim blue light that came from the radio clock on the nightstand. His features were relaxed in sleep, smoothed out until nothing but tranquility remained. I traced the arch of his eyebrow with my fingertips and followed the trail down over the bridge of his nose. His pearlescent skin deepened in color wherever I touched him, like the alpha within him recognized my touch. As my fingers skimmed across his lips, the heart I’d overprotected my entire life opened up like a fresh wound. This alpha disarmed me, made me vulnerable, but in turn that made me stronger. I would never allow anyone to hurt him.

            Although he thought I would feel different about him after what happened between us, I had no regrets about giving myself to him. In fact, I ached to do it all over again. My skin felt unbearably untouched without his marks on it, and last night, consumed with uncertainty, he’d been too gentle with me to leave any behind. What I wanted was for him to make me _feel_ it. Every bit of it.

            Possessed with this idea, I leaned back and noticed the blanket that had been covering us now lay in a bundle on the floor. I’d probably kicked it off us sometime during the night, irritated with the added heat. I didn’t mind its absence so much. That left his body exposed for my viewing.

            Slowly, as to not wake him up yet, I ran my hand down his taut abdominal muscles, relishing the feel of them beneath my palm. As my fingers brushed through coarse hair, I saw he was hard already. That indicated his rut had begun, which wasn’t anything surprising. The pheromones I released during heat were strong enough to send his instincts into overdrive, and maybe this was exactly what he needed in order to lose all control.

            “Time to wake up, sleepyhead.” I moved closer to him and pressed my lips to the underside of his chin. I nibbled on his skin. He had a bit of a stubble going on, so I didn’t linger. “Come on,” I said as I kissed a trail to his mouth. “Wake up.”

            Eren suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me flush against him. He tangled his legs with mine. “What time is it?”

            “Does it matter?” I whispered against his lips.

            He grinned. “Not one bit.”

            Unable to contain myself, I reached down between us and grabbed him at the base. I stroked him once. “Ready for round two?”

            Without answering, he rolled on top of me, forcing me onto my back. His silver eyes gleamed brilliantly in the dark as they roamed over every inch of my naked form. They reminded me of wolf eyes, carnivorous and wild, ready to consume anything in their path.  

            I reached up and took his face in between my hands, directing his gaze to mine. He looked ravenous, unkempt. I loved it. “The last time you looked at me like this, you were on your knees in the confinement chamber.”

            “I wanted you badly back then, but I want you even more now.”

            “Good, because I’m all yours now.” I slid my index finger down his chest. “And if I remember correctly, when I tried to come onto you after the incident in the locker room, you told me three hours wasn’t long enough. That when you took me for the first time, you wanted to take your time. Well, considering you held back last night, I fully expect you to make up for it now.”

            “What exactly do you want from me, Levi?”

            I turned my head and kissed his arm. I kept my lips pressed to his skin as I whispered, “Everything.”

            “Does that include marking me?”

            “One day I want us to mark each other, but I don’t want to do it while I’m in heat. I want us to be completely present for that moment, both body and mind.” I realized how that sounded and added, “That was tacky.”

            “No, I understand what you mean, and I respect your decision.”

            “I know you do, Eren, which is why I feel comfortable asking you not to hold back. I trust you. I know you would never hurt me.”

            He lowered himself until his body was on top of mine. He rested his arms on either side of my head and said, “If I don’t hold back, you have to promise that you’ll stop me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”    

            “That’s a given.” I kissed the side of his mouth. “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” Next I kissed the spot right below his ear, where his scent was the strongest. “I’m the omega that won’t cower before an alpha. You think just because I’m in love with you, I’ll have a problem handing you your ass?”

            “I’d gladly let you hand it to me.”

            “See? Then there’s no problem here.”

            Eren kept his eyes on mine as he slid his hand down my inner thigh. When he reached my knee, he pushed it outward, and I threw both legs wide in open invitation. For a second I wondered if I was behaving this desperate solely because I was in heat, but then I caught sight of his expression, the way he looked almost feral with lust, and I realized I would react this way to him even without instincts in the mix. He was so compelling, an intense flame that burned me on contact and branded my skin with every touch.

            I was addicted to the feeling.

            “I can’t tell you how many times I imagined doing this with you,” Eren said while he pushed two fingers into my entrance. I writhed beneath him, grabbing handfuls of the sheet on either side of me. “How many times I tried to picture how you would look. How you would sound.” He leaned down and coaxed my mouth open with his tongue, sliding it beneath mine with one slow lick that sent sparks of heat rushing down my spine. “How you would taste...”

            I rocked my hips down onto his fingers and he spread them apart, drawing out a sharp gasp. I clutched onto his arms, uncontrollable, _greedy_ , nails biting into his skin...

            I wanted him so much. _Needed_ him so much.

            He pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, “I don’t think you realize how much effort it’s taken me to keep myself in control all this time. I’ve wanted you like this from the moment I first laid eyes on you, but doing only this wouldn’t have been enough for me. I wanted you to be mine.”

            “I am yours,” I said breathlessly.

            “It’s still hard to believe.”

            “But I am, so take me how you wanted to back in that confinement chamber.”

            He eased his fingers out of me. I ached to be filled again. “Is that how you want me to take you?”

            “Yes,” I whispered.

            Eren knelt between my legs and slid his hands under my calves to lift my legs until my ankles rested on his shoulders. I didn’t have time to fully grasp onto the situation before he was pushing into me at a slow pace, then the sensation of being stretched blotted everything else out. As the feel of him—so hot and heavy—forced a moan of pure ecstasy from my throat, I realized I’d fought against doing this my entire life, fought everything that made me an omega, but I couldn’t deny that my body was made for this. That I was made just for him.

            “Are you all right?” he asked when he bottomed out.

            The beads of sweat coursing down his chest were too distracting. I wanted to lick them up, taste them on my tongue, so instead of answering his question, I said, “One of the first things I thought of when I found out you were a royal alpha was how it would feel to have you this way.” Now I looked at him. “I want you to make me forget about everything. I want you to make me feel every second I spend here with you. I’m not going to break, so bite me, mark every inch of my body... I know you want to.”

            His response to that was to yank me up so I was sitting in his lap. This position allowed him to slide deeper inside me, and I clawed at his back as I moaned out his name. His skin tore beneath my nails, reminding me that I was the only one who could hurt him in his royal form.

            God, this powerful alpha was clay in my hands.

            “So you want me at your mercy,” he growled, grabbing onto my ass so he could raise me up. “You want me desperate for you?”

            “Yes. I want you to claim me.” I made eye contact. Staring into those fierce silver eyes, I added, “Don’t be gentle.”    

            Eren slammed me back down onto him as if to prove to me that he had no intention of being gentle. “If this is how you want me, then this is how you’ll get me. After all, I’ve been at your mercy since the second I saw you. Don’t act like you don’t know that.” He licked a spot on my neck before he bit down on it hard enough to break skin. I buried my fingers in his hair, snapping my hips back and forth as heat raced across my skin.

            Oh, fuck, it felt so good. My mind with blank with it. All I could think past the intensity of it all was: _Eren._

The feel of him. The taste of him. His scent on my skin.

            I threw my head back and let myself get lost in the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of me, hard, then harder, pushing me toward an edge that made my muscles tighten with every thrust. “Like that,” I moaned. “Just like that.”

            Eren growled deep in his throat before he sank his teeth into my shoulder, sucking on my skin roughly. I could feel the bruise forming beneath his tongue.

            _Perfect._

Suddenly he lifted me off him as though I weighed nothing. Then he turned me around so I faced away from him. “Get on your hands and knees,” he demanded in a gruff voice.

            I fumbled into the position he wanted me in and stared at him over my shoulder. He rammed into me from behind without any warning, shoving my hips forward with the force.           

            “Ah... yes!” I groaned, fingers clenching around the sheets.

            He withdrew and plunged forward again, stretching me until I had to spread my legs wider in order to accommodate his frenzied rhythm. “Levi...fuck... You feel so good.” He reached down and wrapped his fist in my hair to keep me still while he fucked me. The hard tugging on my scalp as I moved under his fierce pounding only served to arouse me further.

            “Don’t stop.” I pushed my hips back, meeting him thrust for thrust, shaking from the pleasure that rippled through me. “Don’t stop. More. Yes. _Yes._ ”

            Eren leaned forward, his front pressing to my back, and bit into my shoulder blade. The jolt of satisfying pain shot straight to the head of my cock, robbing me of any hope of lasting a moment longer. I came calling out his name, too far gone to notice I’d collapsed onto the bed. He simply pinned my hips to the mattress, holding me down for his thrusts, drawing out my orgasm until I was screaming and thrashing from the overwhelming pleasure.

            “Levi,” he gasped a moment later, jerking inside me as he filled me with heat. He thrust deep once more, and I felt him swell bigger until he locked himself in place. It took me a moment to realize what had happened. He’d knotted in me.        

            He rolled onto his side and pulled me against him to keep us close together. I still faced away from him, so I couldn’t see his face. For some reason, I desperately wanted to know what expression he wore right now.

            “Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded, then laughed. “What’s funny?”

            “I must be an idiot.”

            He leaned up on his elbow to look at me. “Why do you say that?”

            “Because I’m stupidly happy that you knotted inside me. I didn’t think it was possible between an alpha and omega that didn’t bear each other’s bond marks.”

            “Neither did I, but I can’t say that I’m not happy about it, too.”

            I interlaced our fingers and brought them up to my lips. I kissed his knuckles. “You’ve changed me, Eren.”

            “Do you consider that a bad thing?” he asked.

            “No. The complete opposite.”

 

\---

 

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that Eren wasn’t in bed with me anymore. I sat up, slow with sleep, and scanned the length of the room. He wasn’t in here. The smart thing to do would be to wait for him to return. My legs weren’t exactly up to the task of carrying me around, but I still found myself climbing out of bed and padding over to the dresser. One of Eren’s white button down shirts was lying on top. I slipped it on and didn’t bother buttoning it up before I made my way out of his bedroom.

            It didn’t take me long to find him cooped up in the bathroom. He’d left the door wide open, so I had a good view of him leaning over the sink as he shaved.

            “Why are you shaving? It’s four in the morning.”

            Startled, Eren jerked back and nicked his cheek with the blade. He must’ve been lost in thought if I’d managed to sneak up on him. With his enhanced hearing, he could hear a pin drop three rooms down.

            He turned to me as he flicked his index finger over the small cut, collecting the drop of blood. “Did I wake you?”

            “No.” I leaned up against the doorframe and crossed my arms. “You just weren’t in bed, so I came looking.”

            “I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind. I got restless and had to do...something.”

            We both had a lot on our mind. Too many things had happened in the past few days. It was hard to digest all at once.

            “Thinking about Mikasa and Armin?”

            He sighed while he set the blade down on the sink countertop. “Yeah.”

            “We should plan out how we’re going to meet with Mikasa in a week. We’ll need to take more than one vehicle this time around. I won’t let what happened this time happen again. We need to be prepared for anything.”

            “Levi, your heat will just be ending in a week. You can’t go.”

            I looked up into his green eyes. “I go where you go. No exceptions.”

            “Then I’ll stay here.”

            “That’s nonsense. Mikasa and Armin are important to you. I know you want to be there for them in any way you can.”

            “But I won’t risk your life,” he said. “Your body will be at its weakest. You won’t be able to defend yourself if something goes wrong.”

            The thought of him traveling outside the walls on his own made a knot form in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want to leave him alone, unprotected, even if it was just for a short amount of time. I wanted to be there to make sure everything went according to plan. How could I stay behind?

            I would lose my fucking mind.

            “Here, let’s go back to bed.” Eren cupped the side of my face. His scent wafted toward me, and just like that, all thoughts disappeared, replaced with a dizzying desire to be united with him once more.

            “Mm,” I hummed, nuzzling against his palm. “You smell so good.”

            I thought he would protest my advancements somehow. That he would try to convince me to sleep for a while longer before we picked up where we left off, so it surprised me when he lifted me into his arms and grabbed my leg to wrap it around his waist.

            “This looks nice,” he whispered into my ear as he ran his fingers over the bite mark he’d left on my neck.

            “You like marking me?”

            “More than you know.” He positioned me over his cock and lowered me until he was buried to the hilt. I let out a blissful sigh. “I want everyone to know that you’re mine. That you chose me.”

            “I knew you wanted to wreck me.” I grabbed his hand and brought it up to my mouth. I swirled my tongue around his index and middle finger, drawing them into my mouth. I sucked on them as I maintained eye contact with him. His eyes seemed to drain of color before they lit up silver. “You’re so sexy like that.”

            He kept his eyes glued to mine as he started thrusting into me. There was no gentleness behind his movements. It was raw, powerful, making me scream.

            “Fuck!” I whined, my inner walls clenching and trembling around him. I was already so close and we had just begun. “Eren... Eren...” He was relentless, pushing into me over and over again, forcing me up against the wall. “Already...going to come.” It hit me so fast, I had no way of controlling the mindless sounds escaping me. Yet, even when I sagged in exhaustion, Eren kept moving inside me. His rhythm never faltered, even as he carried me down the hall toward the bedroom. He seemed to lose patience with every step, because he slammed me down onto the entry table before we made it there, knocking aside a vase of flowers and several picture frames. They crashed to the floor in an explosion of glass.

            “God, yes,” I groaned, and I couldn’t recognize my own voice. It was thick, full of need. _Desperate._

            Eren grabbed my hips and pulled me down onto him as he thrust forward. My legs clamped down on his waist, skin clinging to his with our sweat. “Levi, you’re so beautiful.”

            I tensed at his words, back bowing off the table as I came again on a shout. My orgasm milked his cock, luring his come, until he spilled into me. His movements became sloppy, a deep groan parting his lip as he rode out his climax. He suddenly slapped his hand against the wall and a crack formed beneath his palm. It traveled up to the roof, where it splintered off in various directions.

            When we both regained our breath, I said, “You cracked the wall.”

            “I would’ve broken it if I hadn’t flexed my hand at the last second.”

            I laughed. “You would think that would concern me, but honestly, it just turns me on.”

            He wrapped his arms around my back and lifted me into a sitting position. It was then that I felt we were locked together again, his knot thick and throbbing inside me.

            “At least I’m facing you this time,” I said, wiggling my hips to indicate what I meant.

            Before he could respond to me, the phone out in the living room began to ring. Eren looked caught between wanting to ignore it, and needing to answer it.        

            “Answer it.” I jerked my chin in the direction of the living room. “No one would call right now unless it was important.”

            With a nod of his head, he lifted me up and carried me over to the sofa. He sat down and picked up the phone.

            “Hello?” he said.

            While he spoke to whoever was on the other line, I rested my head on his shoulder. I had no idea what was happening outside this apartment. Eren wouldn’t leave anyone in danger, so he must’ve set down some rules with Erwin. A small part of me was dying to know where we stood, but a bigger part of me didn’t want to know anything at all. I wanted to stay here with Eren for as long as possible. Of course we working on borrowed time.

            Would it always be like this?

            “I understand,” Eren said at last. “I’ll come down there in a few hours. Keep him locked up. Do you hear me, Jean? Don’t let him sweet talk his way out.” He hung up the phone.

            “You have to go.” I didn’t phrase it as a question.

            “Yeah. Once my knot goes down.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

            “Don’t apologize. I know this is something you have to do.” I peered up at him. “Will you tell me everything when you come back?”

            “Of course.”

            I squeezed my eyes shut and felt time slipping through my fingers like sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we're back to the plot. I'm sad that my babes can't dwell in each other as long as they'd like to. *insert sobbing face*
> 
> Anywho, thank you for reading and any comments/feedback you may leave me. <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, this took me forever to update, but what can I say? The month of December is a busy time. _(:3」∠)_
> 
> I also had to deal with some rather rude anonymous messages on Tumblr about the last couple of chapters. I suppose some people didn't enjoy the way I wrote the smut that happened between these two, but I'm not going to change how I write those scenes in order to satisfy a small group of people. I tend to write my smut with a lot of emotions and feelings, because I feel like that's far more important than the actual physicality of it all. And, well, I know that won't please everyone, but I've learned a long time ago that there's no way to do that anyhow.  
> But enough with all that, right? Go on and read. :)

I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep for when Eren returned from meeting with Erwin to discuss our situation. The bed dipped under his weight as he laid down beside me. I waited for him to fill me in on the details, but he just wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his face against my neck. Although it took a tremendous amount of effort to keep my eyes open, my body exhausted from the heat, I couldn’t fall back asleep. I needed to know what was going on. Things couldn’t have turned out well if he was behaving this dejected.

        I tried to pull back from his embrace, but he held me tighter against him. “Eren...”

        “I had to leave right after my knot went down, so I didn’t get the chance to clean you up. Are you uncomfortable?”

        “That doesn’t matter now. What happened at—”

        “Let me take care of you,” he interrupted, sounding desperate. “Afterwards, I’ll tell you everything. Just... Please.”         

        I leaned back far enough to look into his eyes. There was something frantic there that made me nod in agreement. Whatever he learned in the past few hours, he wanted to put off telling me for a little while longer. Maybe, like me, he wanted to hold onto this fabricated peace for as long as he could.

        Eren sat up and scooted off the bed. After he scooped me into his arms, he carried me into the bathroom, where he sat me down on the lid of the toilet. He kept silent as he went about filling the tub with water, but there was an uneasy expression on his face that put me on edge. Something was going on. What had Erwin told him to make him look this way? Were we in any immediate danger? Or did he discover that Erwin was behind something even bigger than the trap we’d walked into on our last mission out?

        “Do they hurt?” Eren asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

        “Huh?” I looked up at him. He gestured to the bite marks on my neck and shoulder. I touched them with my fingertips. “A bit, but in a good way.” I shrugged. “I like them.”

        A small smile played on the edges of his lips. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t like them, too.”

        It suddenly dawned on me how far I had come since I’d met him. I never believed I would allow an alpha to dominate me. I always thought I would die holding on to the promise I’d made my mother when I was six, but nothing about this felt wrong, and that was the most surprising of all. I _liked_ having Eren’s marks on me. I liked the way they felt tender beneath my fingertips. The way they stood out against my pale skin. I liked it all so much.

        He leaned forward and replaced my fingers with his own, brushing over the mark he’d left on my neck. I hummed in approval. “They probably hurt. That’s why I went down to the medical wing to pick up some antibiotics, along with a bottle of numbing cream.”

        “Numbing cream? I don’t want to numb them.”

        “They’ll hurt more tomorrow.”

        “I don’t mind.”

        It looked like he wanted to argue with me on this, probably for the sake of keeping me from experiencing any pain, but then he asked, “Ready to get in the tub? I put some of that medical bath oil in. We didn’t treat your burns properly last time. Are they bothering you at all?”

        “Not really.” I stood up and my legs gave out from under me. Eren caught me before I could fall. I glanced up at him with a sheepish grin. “Whoops.”

        “I think that’s my line. I was rough with you.”

        My cheeks heated up, images of him hovering over me coming to mind. “I asked you to be.”

        “Regret it?”

        Since I couldn’t find the courage to look at him head on, or speak, for that matter, I shook my head. How could I regret something that felt so good? So right. Being with him made me feel like I’d finally found that part of myself that’d been missing for so long now. He filled that gaping hole in my heart that my mother’s death left behind. I would never be able to thank him enough for seeing something in me that he thought was worth holding onto. With how often I turned him away, it would have been easier for him to find someone else, but he never even considered it.

        He only wanted me. And I... I would always only ever want him.

        Eren slid his fingers beneath my chin to tilt my head back. “Hey, look at me.” When I met his gaze, he said, “I can’t explain how happy you’ve made me by not only accepting me as your mate, but also trusting me enough to be with me physically. I know how hard it has been for you to let me in. But I promise you that I will do everything I can, and more, in order to keep you safe.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Levi.”

        “I know you won’t.” I turned my head and kissed the palm of his hand, all the while thinking that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him, either.

        “Let’s get you washed up. I know it’s bothering you more than you’re letting on.”

        I playfully punched him in the chest. “Don’t act like you know that.”

        “Mm, but I do know that,” he said, pressing his nose to neck. He inhaled and I could feel a shudder go through him. “Even though I really like smelling my scent on you.”

        “You can scent mark me after I bathe.”

        He took my hand and raised it to his chest. His heart was beating so fast. “I’m not used to it yet,” he whispered with his eyes shut.

        “Used to what?”

        “You letting me do these things of your own free will. Normally you come up with excuses to make it seem like you’re doing it by force.”

        “Well that won’t happen anymore.”

        He smiled. It was a wobbly mess, and when he opened his eyes to look at me, I saw that they were brimming with tears. “Thank you.”

        “For what? I didn’t do anything. You’re the one that fought for us. For me.”

        “Are you saying you didn’t fight for me?” When I didn’t respond, he added, “Levi, think about it. Although you kept running away from how you felt, you also kept coming back. Was that just your instincts driving you to me?”

        “No I... I’ve always denied my instincts. It was more than that.” I shook my head, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. “I knew you were different from the start. I wanted to let you in, but I—I got so scared whenever you got close enough to let me see that. Then my health...”

        He cupped my face in his hands. “Shh, it’s okay now.”

        “Is it? My health isn’t getting any better, Eren.”

        “Hanji was working on something for you, wasn’t she? Mikasa will come through for us. She’ll get us Hanji back, and if she doesn’t, then I’ll get her back myself.”

        “You’ll do no such thing.”

        He gently pinched my chin between thumb and forefinger. “When will you realize that I’ll do anything for you, no matter the cost.” Before I could utter a retort, he pulled me up into his arms and lowered me into the tub. The warm water soothed my achy muscles right away, loosening the tight knots that had formed in my calves and lower back. “I’m going to go through all the stuff Isabel brought over, see if there’s anything in there I can use for the bites.”

        Once he left the bathroom, I sunk down into the water until everything below my nose was submerged. The medical bath oil washed over the open wounds on my shoulder and neck, stinging the raw skin, but the brief moment of discomfort did nothing to dampen the content, blissful haze I was in. Until now I never understood why omegas looked satisfied bearing their mates marks. Now I understood it all too well. Feeling the sensitive spots on my skin reminded me that Eren was mine, and that I was his.

        “It seems Hanji has invented a lot of stuff for omegas,” Eren said as he came back into the bathroom carrying a handful of things. “She even made special shampoo. I don’t see what special purpose it serves, though.”

        “Doesn’t surprise me any. She was always inventing useless stuff for the hell of it.”

        “Well, I don’t believe she invented all these products for omegas for nothing. She must’ve really cared about you and the other omegas who reside here.”

        “It’s just Isabel and me left.”

        Hanji would always invent things to aid omegas during their heat cycles. Whenever I asked her why she wasted her time on such things, she would continuously drop hints that she was creating them in hopes that I would feel more comfortable going through my heats rather than suppressing them, but I never tested out any of her creations. I kept having her inject me with the omega serum every month. Now that I thought about it, I understood how desperate she’d been to get me to stop.

        “We’ll get her back,” Eren said, kneeling beside the tub.

        I sat up and raised my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs to keep them in place. Eren didn’t press me to speak the thoughts running through my mind, even when I knew he could smell the anxiety clouding my scent. I was grateful for the silence.

        Since Hanji wasn’t an omega or alpha, the humans wouldn’t feel the need to either kill her off to ensure she didn’t reproduce, or use her as a weapon against our kind. Betas that were captured were normally used inside the camp run at Shiganshina district. They were kept as maids, cooks, or maintenance workers. That meant _both_ Hanji and Petra—if she survived her injuries—had a good chance of surviving within the camp.

        We just had to find a way to get them out.

        Eren chuckled out of nowhere. I eyed him. “What?” I asked.

        “Look at the shampoo bottle.”

        I glanced at the black bottle he held. Written on the front, in all capital letters, was: FOR LEVI. YOU’RE WELCOME, SHRIMP-Y.

        He popped open the cap while I read the note and brought it up to his nose. He sniffed it, then started laughing in earnest.

        “Give it here.” I snatched the bottle out of his hand and smelled it. It was a rather crude version of his scent. _That pesky little..._ “On second thought, we can leave Hanji right where she is.”

        “Do you want to use it?”

        “No,” I said, setting it down on the floor. “The shampoo you use is fine.”

        _It smells more like you, anyway._

        After he poured some of his shampoo onto the palm of his hand, he worked it into my wet hair. I relaxed under his touch and turned my head to press my face against his arm. He smelled so good. Nothing could mimic his scent. It was too unique to duplicate.

        “How are you feeling?” he asked while he angled my head back to pour water onto my head. “Are you hungry?”

        “No. I’m just exhausted.”

        “I’ll change the sheets, and then you can go back to bed.”           

        “I’ll go to bed right after you tell me what’s going on.”

        For a long time, he stayed quiet. Then, with a sigh, he said, “Okay, Levi.”

        None of us spoke to break the silence that settled over us after he finished rinsing out my hair. I could tell by the tense look on his face that he wasn’t looking forward to telling me about what went on between him and Erwin, but if he kept putting it off, I would imagine the worst. It was better to understand the situation than to be left in the dark. That way I could figure out what we needed to do. Couldn’t he understand that he didn’t have to shoulder this on his own? I would be at his side throughout this all.

        Grabbing onto my hands, Eren helped me to a stand. He kept a firm hold on my arm as he reached back to pull down a towel from the shelf. Then he wrapped it around my head and rubbed at my hair.

        “You’ve always been so gentle with me,” I mumbled, melting into his touch.

        “Why wouldn’t I be?”

        “I dunno.” I was too sleepy. My words were starting to stick together. “I used to think all alphas were like my mother’s mate. That man didn’t know what gentle was. He was so cruel.”

        Eren kissed my forehead. “I would kill him if I knew where he was.”

        “Who knows where that bastard is. I’ve never managed to find him myself.” I spent the better part of my life looking for the man who murdered my mother, although, throughout the years, the image of his face vanished and morphed into a faceless shadow. I had no idea what he looked like, or even what his name was. I would probably never find him. Especially now that I was confined to this building out in the middle of nowhere.

        “Come on. Let’s get you dressed.” Eren lifted me out of the tub with ease and carried me back into the bedroom. He must’ve sensed that I didn’t want to be far from him, because he kept me bundled in his arms as he sat down on the foot of the bed. I leaned back against him while he dried the rest of my body. “Do you think you’ll be comfortable in a pair of pajamas?”

        I shook my head. “Too hot. The most I can stand having on right now is boxers.”

        “Ok, I’ll go and grab you some.”

        It surprised me how comfortable I was with him. I couldn’t even bring myself to feel embarrassed as he rummaged through my underwear drawer. He had broken down my walls so completely that I couldn’t imagine him being anywhere else other than right here with me.

        “I meant it, you know,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, but I knew he could hear me.

        He turned around to regard me. “Meant what?”

        “That”—I swallowed and looked down at my hands, too nervous to meet his gaze—“I love you. I didn’t just say that to convince you to...well, you know.” Oh, God, could I sound any more like a child? Why did I suddenly feel so shy? After what went on between us last night, I should have been able to tell him I loved him without stumbling over my own words. Yet here I sat with flushed cheeks, my heart beating a mile a minute. He could probably hear it with that absurd hearing of his.

        Ugh, I couldn’t think of that. This was embarrassing enough.

When he came and sat down next to me, I still couldn’t find the courage to look at him. I studied the pattern on the carpet instead, even when I was hyperaware of the alpha beside me. His presence had always been impossible to ignore—now more than ever.

        “Come stand in front of me,” he instructed. I stood up without asking any questions and turned around so that I faced him. “Put your hands on my shoulders.” Once I did what he asked, he slipped my boxers on, but kept his hands on my waist even after they were in place. He leaned forward until his lips brushed over my hipbone, and kept them pressed to my skin as he said, “I never doubted you, Levi. I knew you meant it, because you’re not the type of person to say something you don’t mean. At least not when it comes to something this major.”

        I slid my fingers into his hair, needing to touch him somehow. “That’s good, then.”

        “I never would have guessed you could be this cute. You were a ferocious little thing when we met.”

        “What? I’m not—I’m not cute! Don’t say those kinds of things.”  

        He cracked a smile before he peeked up at me. He reached up to cup my cheek. “I didn’t think I would ever get to see your blushing face, either.”

        “St-stop it already.” I bonked him on the head with my fist, which had the opposite effect of what I was going for. His smile widened.

        “I know you can hit a lot harder than that, _Captain_ Levi. Were you even trying? Or did you not want to hurt me after all?”

        “You’re annoying,” I grumbled, hitting him on the head again. “Stop spouting nonsense. We have important matters to discuss. Don’t think I forgot.”

        The smile faltered. He sighed. “Let’s go into the kitchen first. Even though you’re not hungry, you should try to eat something.”

        Before I could protest, he tossed me over his shoulder and walked out of the bedroom. He didn’t stop until he stood in the kitchen, where he sat me down on the counter so he could rifle through the fridge. Alphas were the only ones allowed to keep food in their living space, so it didn’t surprise me to see him set out an assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables, along with several cans of broccoli cheddar soup.

        “Are you expecting me to eat all that?” I asked.

        He put a saucepan on the stove burner. “No, but I’ve heard omegas are picky eaters when they’re in heat, so I plan on making a few things to ensure that you eat something.”

        For a while, I watched him cook without trying to initiate conversation, but it didn’t take long for me to get fed up with the silence. He would put this off for as long as he could if I let him. “Eren, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’m going crazy over here.”

        At first I thought he wouldn’t respond to me. Then he said, “As of right now, Erwin has relinquished all control over the sanctuary until we find the true perpetrator behind the setup we walked into. He claims he had nothing to do with what happened out there. To further prove that, his last order was to lock up all the new arrivals aside from Jean.” Eren wouldn’t look at me as he spoke. He kept his eyes glued to the saucepan. “By default, the position of leader over this place lands on me. Your men made sure of that.”

        Now I understood why he had been so reluctant to talk about this. He never wanted to lead anyone, but there was no one else here the people could trust. His royalty made him stand out above the rest.

        “You’re not happy about this,” I said.

        “Do you want the truth?”

        “Yes.”

        He looked at me at last. His eyes were more intense than I’d ever seen them before. “I don’t want this responsibility. All their lives are in my hands now.”

        “You’ll do fine.”

        “I won’t,” he persisted. “You want to know why? Because I put you above everyone else here, and I know you don’t accept that. You’re not selfish the way I am, Levi, but I’m telling you right now that when it comes to you, I will willingly let this sanctuary fall, if that’s what it comes down to.”  

        “Eren—”

        “I am so in love with you. I... You’re the only thing that matters to me, and I can’t lose you. I can’t.” He came up to me and leaned his forehead on my shoulder. “Life has been hell for the both of us since the purge began. We’ve done things we never thought ourselves capable of. Witnessed things we never wanted to see, but you give me hope that there is still good left in this world. I just want to be with you. That’s all I want.”       

        I wrapped my arms around him. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say for the longest time, and then I whispered, “You give me too much credit.”

        “What do you mean?”

        “I’m just as selfish as you are.”

        Even before the purge was underway, my life had been spinning out of my control. I’d been on a path of self-destruction that didn’t alter when I started being hunted down like an animal. This war just made it easier for me to fall apart under the radar, but Eren... He changed all of that. He gave my life meaning again. At first I hated him for forcing me to realize that I’d given up on myself long ago, but then I realized he had also given me the tools to rebuild myself. And although I stood before him, incomplete and ruined, he never once passed judgement on me.

        “You’re all that matters to me, too,” I said, holding onto him.

        I would hold onto him for as long as I could, even when everything all around us was falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this a lot, but it's because I truly mean it: Thank you to all those that take the time to comment and leave me feedback. I appreciate you more than you know. <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start this off by thanking all those that commented last chapter. I read all of them, and they made me so happy, so I'm beyond grateful that you all took the time to drop me a comment. 
> 
> So this chapter is a bit on the short side, but it finally wraps up Levi's heat. I'm excited for what's to come after this. There's going to be a lot of action, which is something I've missed writing.

“Your heat should be ending soon,” Eren said as he nipped at my ear. I shifted on his lap and his cock pushed deeper inside me. I bit into his shoulder to muffle the hoarse moan that erupted from my throat. We’d been knotted together for the past fifteen minutes or so. In this position, his knot was pressed tight against my prostate. The sensation was intense enough to make me hard again, even when I came several times just a short while ago. “You must be exhausted. We’ve been at it since we woke up. I’ll let you rest once my knot goes down.”

        I shook my head. “D-don’t want to rest.”

        Tomorrow marked a week since we’d come back from our failed expedition out. Although Eren hadn’t brought it up in conversation the entire time we’d been holed up in his apartment, I knew he had made arrangements with the others to leave the sanctuary to meet with Mikasa. If I asked him to stay here with me, he would do so without question, but I couldn’t do that to him. He’d lost everything in the purge. If he had a chance to get back one of his best friends, then I wouldn’t be the one to stop him. So I planned on soaking up every minute I had left with him.

        Then I would wait for his return.

        Eren cupped my face and directed my gaze to his. I stared into his silver eyes as though I could memorize every detail hidden in those irises. “Something’s on your mind,” he said.

        “It’s nothing important.”

        “Levi, I can tell something is bothering you.”

        I wrapped my arms around his neck and nosed at his scent gland. “Let’s talk about it later. When we’re not like this.”

        “Are you sure? We can still talk while—” His words broke off on a gasp. I’d moved my hips back and forth, and kept up the teasing until he put his hands on my hips to stop me. “You’re trying to distract me.”

        “Is it working?” I asked with a knowing grin.

        “A little too well.”

        “Then do something about it.” I could feel the swell of his knot going down. I rubbed our throats together, tempting him further. Our mingled scents rose up in the air, dizzying in such an intoxicating way, and I could tell that there was no more teasing required. Eren had started pumping his hips. I let myself get lost in the rhythm of his thrusts.

 

\---

 

After our energy dried up, Eren couldn’t be persuaded to ignore the issue that was bothering me. But instead of initiating conversation while we were still clumsy in bed, he bathed me, dressed me in a pair of boxers and one of his T-shirts, and then carried me out into the living room, where he set me down on the couch before he disappeared into the kitchen. No doubt he was in there making me something to eat. He went out of his way to meet all my needs.

        When he came back into the living room some time later with a tray in hand, I released a sigh. It’s not that I wanted to keep anything from him. I’d come to trust this alpha more than I was willing to admit. I just knew this subject was a touchy one for me. For the past week, we’d been together almost nonstop, our bodies tangled together under sheets that smelled of our arousal. I hated to admit that the thought of being away from him caused something inside my heart to unhinge. The fact that I couldn’t go with him when he went to meet with Mikasa wasn’t helping any either.

        “I don’t have much food left, so I made what I could.” He placed the tray down on my lap. There was French toast drizzled in syrup next to a small dish filled with diced melon. “If you want something else, let me know. I’ll have Isabel run down to the dining hall.”

        “This is fine,” I said, picking up the fork as he set down a mug of tea on the coffee table. I paused for a moment while he sat down. He hadn’t sat next to me like I’d expected him to. Instead he took up a spot on the far end of the couch, almost like he was doing his best to keep some distance between us. “Why are you way over there? Come sit right here.” I patted the empty space beside me.

        Eren looked at me as if he’d been caught doing something embarrassing. “I want to talk about what’s bothering you.”

        “I know this already. That doesn’t explain why you sat over there.”

        “Are you going to try to distract me?”

        I looked at him long and hard, finally understanding why he chose to sit a good stretch away from me. “Are you saying you can’t resist a little teasing? A strong royal alpha such as yourself?”

        “It’s not that I can’t. It’s just that I don’t really want to.”

        I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Get your foolish ass over here. I won’t try anything. Plus, you haven’t scent marked me yet and that bothers me a lot more than it should. I blame that on the fact that I more or less have been drowning in your scent for the past week.”

        He hesitated for another moment, then switched spots. I tilted my head to the side to expose my neck. I waited for him to bring our throats together, almost shaking with anticipation, but all he did was rub his wrist against his scent gland. When he raised his hand to my neck to mirror the movement, I muttered, “What in the hell are you doing? I thought we were passed this?”

        “I...” Eren looked at me, dropped his eyes, and then blushed so hard I thought he might have busted a few blood vessels in his face. The sight of him like that struck me dumb for a couple of minutes. The warmth of pink on his cheeks made me want to lunge at him. Shit. The urge was so strong that it took all the willpower I possessed to remain rooted to the couch.

        “What’s the blush for?” I asked once I was composed enough to speak. My voice still came out sounding raw, desperate.

        “We shouldn’t be able to do this. Talk amongst each other while you’re in heat and I’m in rut. With that being said, we’re able to withstand our instincts long enough to hold conversations because we’ve been resisting them all our life. But... God, just touching you when I’m in this state turns me on to the point where I lose my head. So that’s why I went to scent mark you with my wrist. I was hoping you wouldn’t think much of it.”         

        I grabbed his wrist and brought it up to my neck. As I ran it over my scent gland, I said, “Of course I would think about it. I like doing all this stuff with you, Eren. I like being your omega.” He went completely stiff after I spoke, but he didn’t have to tell me why that was. I could tell by his scent that he was doing his best to keep himself in check. “You wanted to talk about what’s bothering me, right?”

        “Yes.”

        “You’ve made arrangements to leave the sanctuary tomorrow, haven’t you?”

        My question was met with silence. Then he rushed through his words as he said, “I wanted to be prepared to leave in case you changed your mind, but it’s not set in stone. If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t. I planned on asking you about it tonight.”

        “I won’t stop you from going.” I punctuated my sentence by stabbing the fork into my French toast. When I realized my actions were contradicting what I told him, I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to relax my grip. “I know you’ve been searching for Mikasa and Armin since the purge began. Now that you’ve found them, I don’t want to be the one to come between you guys. They mean a lot to you. That much is clear.”      

        “But you mean everything.”

        “Which is why I expect you to keep your promise. You better come back to me. I don’t care what you have to do, or who you have to hurt... Just come back.”

        He grabbed the tray and put it off to the side before he pulled me into his lap. I held onto him as though I could keep him here with me with that simple gesture of affection. “I’ll come back, Levi. I won’t let anything stop me.”

        I buried my face against his neck. I wished this war would end, or that we could somehow escape its clutches. Knowing that our time here in his apartment was slowly coming to a close forced me to see how this illusion of safety could end at any moment. These walls around us were nothing more than false protection. Human soldiers could stumble upon the sanctuary at any given time. Then what would we do? Where would we go? Even when Eren could keep me safe out there, what good would it do in a world like this? A world determined to tear us down and break us apart.

        “It hurts how much I love you,” I whispered. “How much I want to keep you safe.” I shut my eyes and listened to the sound of his breathing. Right now both of us were alive. I would do anything to keep it that way. “Why did things end up like this? What did we do to deserve to be treated worse than animals?”

        “Nothing. We didn’t do anything to deserve this.”

        “I hate it. I hate it so much, Eren.”

        He hugged me closer to him. “I know. I can’t change the way the humans see us, but I will protect you from them.”

        That’s what I was worried about the most. Eren would put himself in harm’s way to protect me. Hanji had told me that I was his greatest weakness, and I believed that more than ever.

        What if one day I was the reason he fell into the hands of the humans?

        “Levi,” he said when I offered him no response, “everything’s going to be okay.”

        But what if it wasn’t? What if these were the only moments we could have with each other? Stolen ones?

        I leaned back. “I should eat before the French toast gets cold. I don’t want it to go to waste.” As I crawled off his lap, Eren shot me a look of concern, but I ignored it. Now was not the time to allow myself to fester in these fears. Although my body was weakening with each day that passed, I couldn’t afford to be weak. Tomorrow, after Eren left, I would talk to Mike about Hanji’s research. I needed to know how far she’d come in discovering a way to reverse the effects the serum had on me.

        “I’ll be leaving Mike in charge of this place tomorrow. Are you all right with that?”

        “Yes,” I said. “I trust Mike.”

        “I’m also going to have Erd, Gunther, and Auruo watch over this area while I’m gone.”

        I nodded, even as my stomach twisted into knots. “I’m fine with that. Will you be taking anyone with you?”

        “Just Jean.”

        It took everything I had not to stop eating, to keep on pretending that I was perfectly all right with all this. In reality I felt sick about the whole thing. So many things could go wrong in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Mikasa’s captors had somehow found out about her plan to meet with Eren. If that were the case, they wouldn’t hesitate to use her against him. From what I knew, they had gone through great lengths in hopes of capturing him. That didn’t surprise me any. A royal alpha was the perfect weapon.

        “Why only Jean?” I asked.

        “The fewer people, the better. I need to move fast. I can’t do that with a group tagging along.”

        “If Jean’s the only one going with you, then I want you to stay in your royal form the entire time you’re out there. You can’t take any chances. If any human soldiers spot an opportunity to shoot a dart into you, they will, and we can’t let that happen under any circumstances. Once that serum of theirs is in your veins, there’s nothing we can do to help you. You’ll be under their control and you’ll turn against your own kind. At least in your royal form, your skin is impenetrable.”

        Eren’s brows furrowed. “Levi, you know the consequences of me staying in my royal form for long periods of time.”

        “You said you could handle staying in that form for a few days.”

        “I can, but I don’t like to. The longer I’m like that, the more I lose sight of who I am. I become more instinctive.”

        He became like every other alpha that walked this earth, except far worse, because he truly was unstoppable. He was someone that even alphas feared. A monster that controlled monsters.

        “You’re going to have to trust me,” he said, putting his hand over mine. “I know you’re worried about me, but I can handle myself out there.”

        “I know that.”

        “You’re also murdering your French toast.”

        I glanced down at the plate, and sure enough, I’d driven the fork through the bread multiple times. It looked like a child’s handy work. “Well, there’s that.”

        “I can make you something else.”

        “I’m not really that hungry. Plus, food is scarce these days. I’ll just finish this.”

        I ended up eating the whole thing, although I didn’t taste a single bite. This feeling of unease wouldn’t go away until he was back, safe. Until then, this anxiety would eat away at me.

        “Feeling sleepy?” Eren asked. He’d already taken my dirty plate into the kitchen to wash it. Now he stood in front of me, waiting for me to tell him what I needed of him.

        I really couldn’t have asked for a better alpha than this.

        “A bit,” I admitted. “When are you planning on leaving tomorrow?”

        “First thing in the morning. Mikasa wasn’t clear when she wanted me to meet her, so I don’t want to risk missing her.”

        I tugged him down beside me. Then I leaned my head on his shoulder. “That device in her neck... You can’t bring her back here with it in, Eren. You know that, right? I wish things were different, but you can’t risk everyone’s lives.”

        “She won’t let me bring her back, anyway, so you have nothing to worry about.” As he said this, his fingers curled inward and bit into his palm, and his scent changed into something I’d never smelled on him before: Failure.

        “It’s not your fault things have come to this,” I told him.

        He stayed quiet for several minutes. When he spoke again, his voice was nothing more than a whisper. “The day the purge started, we got into a fight over something stupid. I was so pissed off at her that I ended up skipping classes that day. I went down to the park to shoot some hoops.” He laughed. It sounded so sad that something in my heart broke at the sound. “If I would have gone to classes like usual, I would have been there for her and Armin. But I didn’t go. And by the time I figured out what was happening, that soldiers were going from house to house, killing off our kind, they’d already raided my house.”

        “Eren—”

        “I wasn’t there for any of them. Not for my parents, and not for my friends.”

        “You didn’t know what was going to happen.”

        Eren dropped his head in his hands. “I’ve searched for Mikasa and Armin ever since. Deep down inside, I didn’t even believe they were alive, but I never gave up hope. I was all alone out there. That’s all I had to hold onto.”

        I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him against me. “You never have to be alone again. You have me now. You’ll always have me.”

        “Levi.” That’s all he said, but it was enough. Both of us were broken, but now that we found each other, we were slowly putting ourselves back together again. This purge had torn us down over and over. Left us empty and ruined. But we would never give in.

        We were the resistance.

        We would fight until the very end.

        “When you get back,” I whispered into his ear as I guided his hand to my neck, “I want you to bond mark me.”

        His head snapped back. His eyes were wide as they focused on mine. “But the promise you made your mother... I know you’ve told me that you wanted us to mark each other one day, but I wasn’t sure if you could bring yourself to do it. And I understand if you can’t.”

        “The promise I made my mother doesn’t apply to you. I realize now why she made me promise her to never be marked by an alpha in the first place. She didn’t want me to end up like her. Her mate treated her like an emotionless object, someone he could do with as he pleased. But you’ve never treated me like that, Eren, and I know you never will. My mother wouldn’t object to me being happy with someone who has shown me nothing but respect.”

        “So, you’re sure about this?”

        I nodded. “When it comes to you, I’m sure about a lot of things. This included.”

        Eren smiled and pressed his forehead to mine. “It’s ridiculous how happy you make me.”

 

\---

 

The next morning, I woke up covered in sheets that smelled of my alpha, although he was already gone. I’d asked him not to wake me before he went. I didn’t think I was capable of letting him go without finding a way to convince him to let me go along with him. So now I would lie here...

        ...and wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be in Eren's POV, and we get to meet Armin. I'm so excited. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter, then don't be afraid to drop me a comment. I promise I don't bite, and I appreciate comments more than I could ever explain. I sound thirsty, so I'll leave now. *insert abashed emoji here*


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM, CLAP! I'm so happy I managed to update this an hour before I leave on hiatus. YEET!
> 
> ^ Sorry for all that, I'm just happy that I finished in time. I thought this chapter would be filled with bone-crushing action, but I've once again learned more about my Eren in this fic. He's so complicated. *chuckles*
> 
> I'm also glad how some of you pointed out that the title of this fic has more than one meaning. At first, Levi resisted his instincts. Resisted Eren. So people pinned the title up to that, but last chapter showed that Eren and Levi, they're the resistance against this war. I liked weaving that in there. ┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌

_ Eren _

 

I should have known that leaving Levi behind would be anything but easy. Even when it was safer for him to remain here at the sanctuary, I wondered if he would be able to cope with the effects of his heat alone. The strain his body endured this past week could prove to be too much for him, and it was my responsibility to take care of him until he recovered. Maybe it would be better to call this whole thing off. How could I leave my mate at a time like this? When he was at his weakest? He needed me more than ever now.

     _So do Armin and Mikasa. You failed them once. You can’t do it again._

Resigned, I sat down on the bed next to the curled-up lump that was Levi. There were vivid marks on his neck. Fair skin stained red where I’d bit and sucked on it. I clenched my teeth as unbearable pain welled up in my chest. Was this how it felt to be connected to your mate? To leave them when all you wanted to do was take them into your arms? I never imagined I would find someone that could evoke these types of emotions from me, but Levi had been different from the start. When he saw me down on my knees in that confinement chamber, shackled and made feral from the rut, he never once cowered to his instincts. I remember thinking how beautiful the hatred in his eyes was.

     An omega that stood before an alpha without fear. A monster in front of a monster.

     The only one I wanted.  

     I leaned down to kiss him on the forehead and let my lips linger on his skin as I whispered, “I’m coming back to you. I will keep my promise, Levi.”

     Before I could convince myself to crawl under the sheets with him, I stood up and made my way toward the front door. It took several minutes to persuade myself to step out of the apartment. Then I turned around and pressed my forehead to the door, smelling Levi’s unique scent as it drifted off my skin. My hand tightened around the knob. I wanted to go back.

     “I’m coming back to you,” I repeated. “Nothing can stop me from coming back.”

     With that, I tore myself away from the door and hurried down the corridor. I didn’t allow myself to stop until I found Mike, who was cooped up in Erwin’s office, looking over a stack of paperwork with a cup of tea in hand.

     When he noticed me standing in the doorway, he said, “Are you heading out soon?”

     “Yes. Do you have everything under control here?”

     “I should be able to hold down the fort until you get back. I’ll keep an eye on Levi, as well. You have nothing to worry about. Just focus on your objective. If you don’t come back in one piece, your omega will turn this sanctuary upside down, and that’s not something I want to deal with anytime soon.”

     I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Mike, please make sure he’s okay while I’m gone.”

     “You have my word.”

     “Then I’ll leave things to you. Once I find Jean, we’ll be on our way.”

     “I’ll make sure the sanctuary is secure right after you leave. Trust me, no one is coming in or out while you’re away.”

     I nodded, then walked out of the office before I could show him how worried I was. I’d just turned the corner when Jean came bounding towards me with a rifle slung over his shoulder. I eyed it with distaste. Weapons were of no use to me.

     “Don’t give me that,” Jean said with a snort. “Not everyone has impenetrable skin like you. If someone attacks me from afar, I’m taking them out with this baby.”

     “Whatever you say. Are you ready to head out? We’ve wasted enough time here already.”

     “Apparently, a stick is welded up your ass today, but I’m ready whenever you are. I picked out a car earlier this morning. It’s loaded and ready to go.”

     “Good. Let’s get out of here. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back.”

     Jean must’ve detected the anxiety marring my scent, because he didn’t try to talk to me anymore than necessary. When we made it to the upper floor, he tossed me the keys to the car that he’d parked in the garage. I tossed them right back. “What now?” he asked in a voice laced with irritation.

     “You’re driving. I want to keep track of our surroundings. I can’t do that if I’m behind the wheel.”

     “Fine. I’m probably a better driver than you, anyway.”

     I ignored his pointed remark and climbed into the passenger seat. I tried my best not to think about Levi back at my apartment, or how he would wake up alone in a few hours. Although he’d asked me to leave without waking him, I still felt guilty about the whole thing. He didn’t want me to do this. If it were up to him, I’d be back in bed with him until the symptoms of his heat subsided completely.

     Reaching up, I wrapped my hand around the key he’d given me. I would come back from this, and when I did, I would figure out a way to take him away from here.

     “Don’t worry too much about Levi,” Jean said as he turned the key in the ignition. “He’s known for a lot more than just defying his instincts. That man can take down anyone. You’re the only one he’ll show his weaknesses to.”

     “Because I’m his mate,” I said.

     “Because he loves you. I don’t think that guy would have fallen for any alpha, mate or otherwise, but he accepted you as you are because you showed him that you’re more than your instincts. I mean, even I found it hard to believe that you haven’t bond marked him when his scent gland is in plain sight.” He laughed when his words elicited a growl from me. “Calm down. I have no interest in your mate. I may be an alpha, but that doesn’t mean that every omega appeals to me. I’m into blondes, man.”

     I gave him a sideways glance. “Blondes?”

     Armin was blonde. He was also an omega.

     This could mean trouble.

     “Yep,” Jean responded cheerfully.

     “So you like blonde women?”

     “Who said anything about women? What, are you the only one allowed to be gay here?”

     My eyes widened. “You’re gay?”

     “Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys that is gay, but hates gays. I swear to—”

     “That’s not it,” I explained, cutting him off before he could get the wrong idea. “It’s just that the person we’re picking up is blonde and an omega. I don’t want you to get out of hand when you see him. I will not hesitate to knock you out if you do anything rash. Got it?”

     Jean smirked. “Yeah, I get it. I’ll behave myself.”

     My thoughts were steered elsewhere when Jean pulled out onto the dirt road. I needed to be alert from here on out. I trusted Mikasa, but her captors could have pried information out of her the moment she returned empty handed. I couldn’t take any chances. If they knew I was coming, they would have rounded up enough men to take me down. They would also try to find out where I’d been staying these past few months. There was no way I could lead them back to the sanctuary, where my mate was.

     “How are we going to approach this?” Jean asked. “Are we going to keep ourselves hidden until Mikasa shows up? Or are we heading in there with guns blazing?”

     “We’ll stay hidden. That is unless the human soldiers found out about Mikasa’s plan. If they surround us, we kill them all.”

     “I have no problem with that.”

     I’d killed my fair share of people over the past six years. When it happened for the first time, I felt sick for months on end. The man’s face haunted me. Then I understood that being the monster they thought me to be was the only way I could survive out there. They left me with no choice but to become the very thing they feared. They brought this upon themselves, and I would get rid of anyone who stood in my way.

     “It’ll take us a couple of hours to get to the place we need to be. In the meantime, you should relax a little.” Jean switched on the radio. A crappy rap song came over the speakers and he started tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “It feels good, doesn’t it? Being out?”

     “I’m too anxious to enjoy this. Unlike you, I left my mate behind. I also have no idea how this is going to turn out. I haven’t seen my friends since this whole thing started, and now this is how we’re reunited.”

     He rolled down the window. “At least you have a chance to get them back. Some of us had to watch our friends die.”

     “Shit,” I hissed when I realized how insensitive I’d been. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Before, I had nothing to lose. Now... There’s so much I’m not willing to give up.”

     “Then don’t give it up. I don’t know if you’ve come to terms with this yet, but you’re a _royal_ alpha. That’s not something to take lightly. Why do you think our enemies are doing all they can to capture you? Because they know that if they have you, they can take us all out without a problem. You can do a lot more than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

     “Yeah, because being this is something to be proud of.”

     Jean snorted. “You can be ashamed of it all you want, but you alone have the power to end this war. Once you realize that, then we’ll be getting somewhere.”

     I discovered my royal lineage the day the purge began. After I realized soldiers were killing off people who were either alphas, betas, or omegas, I rushed home to find both my parents dead. Seeing their lifeless bodies caused something unusual to occur. I shifted for the first time and had no control over it whatsoever. The anger that raced through my veins blinded me with rage. When I finally snapped out of it hours later, I was far away from my house and covered in blood that wasn’t my own. Even now, I couldn’t recall what happened during that time.

     Being a royal alpha was a curse I’d never asked for. But if I could use this abnormality to protect Levi, then I would make it my own.

     I shifted my eyes to gaze out the window. Nothing but open land. We were miles away from civilization. And still this wasn’t enough for the people who called themselves humans. They wanted to wipe us out. Nothing else would satisfy them.

     “What were you before everything went to shit?” Jean asked, no doubt attempting to strike up conversation to ease us out of the silence we’d been in for the past twenty minutes.

     “A college student. You?”

     “A Navy SEAL in training.”

     “Really?” I turned in my seat to look at him.

     “Yeah. Not that any of that matters now. Once my so-called comrades found out that I was an alpha, they claimed I cheated and nearly killed me on the spot for ‘treason.’ If it weren’t for my commanding officer, I don’t know how I would have made it out of there.”

     I scoffed. “It’s funny how fast everyone turned against us after the government announced our kind was unfit to be around.”

     “It just goes to show you how much control the government has over its people. But it is what it is. There’s nothing we can do to change what happened.”

     The closer we got to the mountain Mikasa had told us to meet her at, the more I noticed how obvious the car was. We couldn’t stay in it if we wanted to remain undetected. We needed to get out on foot. It would be harder for anyone to spot us that way.

     “Pull over here,” I said, pointing to an area hidden behind corn stalk. The car wouldn’t be able to be seen from the road.

     “I figured you’d want to get out eventually. Did you pick up on a strange scent?”

     “No. I just want to be on the safe side. If everything goes according to plan, we should have no problem getting Armin back to the car. But if this turns out to be a setup, I’ll be able to pick up the human’s scents long before they make their move.”

     Jean maneuvered the car over to the spot I’d pointed out and killed the engine. Before he could step out, I pushed open the passenger door and listened. There was nothing but the sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the corn stalks. There were also no unfamiliar scents lingering in the air. Everything seemed to be in order, but that didn’t mean that it was. I’d learned the hard way how letting your guard down too early could lead to disaster. These human soldiers were merciless and heartless. They thought it was their duty to kill us on sight, so they went out of their way to carry out their orders.

     “Are we good?” Jean asked.

     “For now, but keep alert.”

     “You don’t have to tell me that.” He joined me by the side of the car. “It shouldn’t take us long to get there.”

     “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to turn back.”

     “Like I’d go back without you,” he said. “Your omega would torment me until you returned. I’d rather face human soldiers than him.”

     I laughed. “Have it your way.”

     We took off without another word. It came as no surprise that Jean could keep up with me. I could tell by his physique that he’d spent more time out on his own than he did locked up in a place like the sanctuary. That’s why I chose him to come with me. He could handle himself out here. There was no need to keep a close watch on him.

     As I followed a path that would keep us well hidden, I heard something behind me. The subtle sound of movement. I whirled around and caught the dart speeding in my direction right before it penetrated my skin. There was a man about two hundred yards out. How had I not seen him before? Had they discovered a way to mask their scents? Or had I been too careless?

     “You little fucker,” Jean growled as he brought the rifle up to eye level. He looked through the scope and took a shot. I heard the distinct sound of bullet meeting flesh a moment later. “See you never, ass wipe.”

     “Come on. Mikasa could still be here.”

     There was no need to communicate with words after that. With our heightened senses and our instincts rising to the surface, we became like wolves on the prowl. I could sense him beside me, could smell the fury coming off him in waves. It fueled me, and I understood that this was how alphas were meant to be. Like animals trapped in human skin.

     Jean suddenly tipped his head back as we approached the foot of the mountain, but I’d already smelled the scent that hung heavy in the air. Mikasa and Armin and... blood. Lots of it. One of them had to be injured.

     I shifted so I could go faster, skin hardening and losing its luster until it settled into a pearly hue. No matter how many times I became like this, I couldn’t get used to it. It was a constant struggle to keep myself in check as my mind conjured up more primitive thoughts. Being in this form reminded me of what I was capable of. It made it all too clear why humans feared creatures like me.

     “Something isn’t right here,” Jean said. “If they know you’re here, they should be surrounding us by now. But there’s no one in sight. I don’t think we should go on. We should turn back and rethink about how we’re going to approach this.”

     “No. I’m not leaving until I know what happened to Mikasa and Armin. They’re close.”

     He reached out and snatched me by the arm before I could take another step. “Maybe that’s exactly what they want you to do. Go running in there, desperate and reckless. I know you want to get to your friends, but what good will you do them if you fall into one of the enemy’s traps? Back there, if you hadn’t caught that dart, you would be changing right now. You’d become one of their little puppets. And where’s the first place you think you’ll head once the transition is complete? You’ll yearn for your mate, even in that state.”

     “No... I would never hurt Levi.”

     “ _You_ wouldn’t, but they would. And do you think Levi would defend himself when you came looking for him? Do you really think he would lift a finger against you?”     

     “Fuck!” I muttered. “Fuck! I can’t just leave Mikasa and Armin behind. They need me.”

     “We’re not going to abandon them. We just need to go about this in a different way.”

     I looked ahead, but couldn’t see anyone. Where could Armin and Mikasa be? What in the hell was going on?

     Jean put his hands on my shoulders to ground me. “Think about the situation. You know there’s something funny going on here.”

     “I know.”

     It looked like Mikasa’s captors had found out about her plan and had made one of their own. One that included using her and Armin to lure me in to a trap. I knew all that without anyone having to tell me. Yet I still wanted to go rushing in there to find them both. I’d been searching for them all these years. How could I give up now?

     “Eren!”

     My head snapped to the right at the sound of that familiar voice. I took a step toward it, disbelieving. “Armin?”

     “Eren!” Armin screamed in response, sounding both frightened and relieved. “Eren, help me! Mikasa’s hurt! Please hurry! They’re coming!”

     I turned around, ready to run, but Jean kept me in place. When I shot him a look over my shoulder, his entire body shuddered with the effort it took for him not to succumb to me in this form.

     “Idiot,” he said through clenched teeth. “This has to be a trap.”

     “I can handle it.”

     “Eren—”

     “I can handle it,” I repeated, yanking my arm out of his grasp. “I’m not going to stand here and do nothing when my friends need my help.”

     I ran in the direction of Armin’s voice without giving Jean another chance to stop me. Armin was closer than I’d expected him to be. Had he smelled my scent? Is that why he called out to me? Even when it gave away his location? None of that even mattered now. I needed to get to him before anyone else did. Once I had him and Mikasa in front of me, we could figure things out together—just like we used to.

     We could make it out of this.

     At least that’s what I thought until I saw them. Mikasa had her arm wrapped around Armin’s shoulder. He seemed to be supporting most of her weight. Her entire body was twitching in an unnatural way. A way I’d seen only once before. When an alpha had been injected...

     No.

     “No,” I said aloud, refusing to believe what was right in front of me.

     Armin looked at me, imploring. “Help me with her. I can’t hold her up for much longer.”

     I could understand why. These past six years had not been kind to him. He was thinner than I’d ever seen him before. Gaunt. Sallow skin. Blonde hair dull and dirty, matted to his forehead in thick clumps. What had they done to him? In what ways had they tortured him throughout the years? All I could do was stare in shock as he hobbled forward, one step at a time. It hurt to look at him, but it also inflamed my anger, because it reminded me of what these _humans_ were capable of.

     They were the monsters. Not us. Not me.

     “Please help me,” Armin said in a wobbly voice when I just stood there watching him. “I don’t want her to fall. Please don’t let her fall.”

     Snapping out of my initial shock, I rushed forward and gathered Mikasa in my arms. She came out of her stupor then to mumble something I couldn’t make out. I didn’t want to hear it, because I already knew what she was trying to tell me. I knew what was happening to her.

     “Eren,” she murmured with more force.

     “Shh. You’re okay now. I have you. You’re okay now.”

     _She’s not okay. She won’t ever be okay again._

Mikasa shook her head. “You have to—” She jerked violently in my arms, body going rigid for several seconds before it relaxed again. “Have to...get away from me. Take Armin away. They’ve injected me. Won’t be...much longer.”

     “I’m not leaving you. Not ever again.” I hugged her to me. “Mikasa. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you.”

     She shook her head again. “I’ve done awful things. Such awful things. If this is the price I must pay to finally set Armin free, then I’ll gladly pay it. Take care of him. Take care of yourself.” With resurging strength, she pushed against me. “Go. Leave me here.”

     “Mikasa,” Armin cried.

     “Go,” she told him. “That’s what I want for you.”

     He scrubbed at his face with his hands, tears leaving streaks on his dirt-stained cheeks. “Don’t make me leave you.”

     Mikasa reached out and took my hand. She squeezed it as she said, “Get him out of here. Don’t let my sacrifice be in vain.”

     I clenched my teeth. There were so many things I wanted to tell her. How could this be happening? It wasn’t fair.

     “Get away from her!” Jean shouted as he finally caught up to me. “She’s been injected. Shit. We have to get out of here before she turns.” He grabbed onto my arm and lugged me in the opposite direction. “Come on. There’s not much time.”

     Mikasa smiled as tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m glad you’re alive. It was so good to see you again.”

     “Don’t do this,” I said.

     “I deserve this, for all the horrible things I’ve done to innocent people like us.”

     “Eren,” Jean growled, but he was cut off when a car came speeding toward us. I didn’t have time to react before it pulled up next to us. I braced myself for a fight, but when the door flew open, Hanji jumped out. She smiled at us triumphantly.

     “I made it!” she hollered. Her face was a mask of bruises.

     Jean asked, “How?”

     “Mikasa helped me escape. I just needed to steal a car, but the soldiers are hot on my trail. If we’re going to make it out of here, we need to go now.”

     I understood now that Mikasa knew all along how things would turn out, but she willingly sacrificed herself for Armin. For Hanji. She believed their lives were more valuable than hers. We’d all done terrible things since the purge started. She was no different, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t worth saving.

     But now it was too late. I was always too late.

     I stepped up to her and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m going to end this war. I’m going to set us all free.”

     “I believe you,” she whispered.

     “We need to go,” Jean said.

     I took a step back, then another, all the while watching Mikasa. She wouldn’t let herself be turned into one of their killing machines. The moment we were out of sight, she would pull that device out of her neck. She would make herself useless to them.

     _I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

Jean shoved me into the car. I couldn’t hear anything he said. As the door shut, I kept my eyes on Mikasa. She raised her hand, saying good-bye to us for the last time.

     “Mikasa,” I said, my voice cracking.

     “MIKASA!” Armin screamed, and then we were moving away from her. The last thing I saw was her lift her hand toward the back of her neck.

     Then I saw nothing.

     I felt nothing.     


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 84 years later, I'm here to update. *claps*  
> Sorry it took me a while, but if you read the beginning notes on the last chapter, I said I would be going on hiatus (if that's even what you'd like to call it. I wasn't gone as long as I thought I'd be.) I had major surgery and honestly thought I would take longer than this to update. Ah, but alas, writing is my escape and I took the opportunity to write this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. :)

I couldn’t lie around anymore. It’d been hours since Eren left the sanctuary and no one had heard anything from him. The only person who could have any useful information about what was happening out there was the spy, the person who’d set us up on our last mission out. So instead of lying in bed for another minute, waiting to hear news that would put me at ease, I planned on going down to the chambers to have a talk with Erwin. If he was the one responsible for us walking into an ambush, I would find out. I would force him to tell me everything he knew. No matter what it took.

     I’d just managed to put on some clothes when someone knocked on the front door several times. It either had to be Mike or Isabel. They were probably dropping by to check up on me. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, not unless they knew something about Eren’s current situation. Yet it would be impossible to ignore them. For me to leave the apartment, I would have to get by them somehow.

     With a sigh of irritation, I went and answered the door. Both Mike and Isabel greeted me with forced smiles that were meant to hide the worry in their eyes. Mike held a tray full of food, while Isabel had an armful of medical supplies. I looked at them for a long moment before I said, “There’s no need for all of that. I’m heading down to the chambers to talk to Erwin. Move aside.”

     “You can’t go anywhere in your condition,” Mike said with wide eyes, setting the tray down on the entry table before blocking the doorway.

     “I’m done waiting here. Erwin knows something, and if he doesn’t, one of the other two prisoners does.”

     “Levi, your heat isn’t over just yet,” Isabel tried to reason with me in a gentle tone. “If you go out now, you’ll be putting yourself at risk. The best thing to do right now is rest up. You need it. This is the first time you’ve mated during one of your heats. Your body has been put through a lot.”

     I gritted my teeth. “Do you think I can rest when Eren is out there? I feel useless lying in bed. I _need_ to do something.”

     “I know you’re feeling anxious about your mate, but he wouldn’t want you to roam around the sanctuary when you smell so strongly of pheromones.”

     “I can take care of myself,” I muttered.

     “Can you?” Mike questioned as he stepped in front of me.

     I tried to push passed him, done with these little games that were a waste of time, but my body wouldn’t cooperate with me long enough to do much of anything. I was drained of strength to the point where I couldn’t move without shaking. The heat had zapped me of energy. In this state, Mike had the upper hand. I cursed under my breath when he held me in place without much effort.

     “We’re doing this for your own good.” He guided me back into the bedroom. “You need to eat, and then rest. Eren will be back before you know it.”

     I wanted to believe that was true, but it had been too long since he’d left. What could be holding him up? Had something gone wrong?

     While I stood there thinking the worst had happened, Isabel put her hands on my shoulders and eased me down onto the bed. Eren’s scent cocooned me at once. I closed my eyes and let it comfort me. Soon enough, though, the sense of comfort was replaced with panic. What would I do if Eren didn’t come back? If he’d been captured? Would they wait to inject him with the serum that would take him away from me for good? Or would they inject him on the spot?

     _You know they wouldn’t wait. They wouldn’t take the chance of him escaping._

     “What if something happened to him?” I asked in a whisper.

     “Your alpha is strong. You should have more faith in him,” Mike said. He set the tray of food down on my lap. “He’ll be back. Right now you need to focus on recovering. Like Isabel said, your body has been through a lot. If you don’t rest, your health could start to decline.”

     I laughed without humor. “You mean more than it already has?”

     “Don’t think about that now. Here.” He handed me a glass of water, then two oversized pills. “These should help with the pain.”

     I popped the pills into my mouth without complaint and chased them down with water. It would be useless to try to convince Mike to let me go talk to Erwin. Now that he knew of my plans, he would keep a close watch on me, to make sure I didn’t wander around on my own. Eren left him in charge, which meant that he saw me as his responsibility for the time being. A part of me was annoyed that I had to be watched over at all, but the other part of me understood why. I wasn’t thinking clearly. That could lead to unnecessary problems.

     “You’ll feel better soon,” Mike said.

     I didn’t say anything to contradict him, because we both knew that was a lie. I wouldn’t feel better until Eren returned. Until then, my thoughts would be a ticking time bomb.

     Isabel came over and took the glass from me. After she placed it on the nightstand, she asked, “Do you think you can keep down some soup?”

     “Maybe a little.”

     “Good,” she said with a smile, handing me a spoon.

     As I ate, they set about cleaning the apartment. I could hear them moving around in the kitchen. Every time I heard the clink of glass, I wanted to scream at them to get out, to leave everything well enough alone. It took everything I had in me not to, but soon these emotions would boil over and cause chaos. Normally mated omegas had their alphas to soothe them during these times when their emotions were fluctuating close to the end of their heat, but Eren wasn’t here. He’d left me.

     _He had a good reason to. Pull yourself together already._

I could only eat half of the soup before I set it aside. The pain medication was starting to take effect. The persistent throb in my muscles was subsiding to a dull ache. With the pain now bearable, I couldn’t fight the heaviness of my eyelids for much longer. But how could I sleep at a time like this?

     “Your scent is so strong right now. You must really love Eren if you’re trying to call him back to you.”

     My eyes darted to Isabel, who had come back into the room without me noticing. I sighed. “I can’t deny that I love him.”

     “It’s so surreal seeing you act like an omega for once. It’s kind of entertaining.”

     “Shut up,” I said. “I can still take you.”

     She smiled. “I know you can. You’ve shown everyone here that you’re capable of a lot more than just ‘omega’ duties. I should be thanking you. Seeing you defy all the rules gave me the strength to do the same. Without you, I probably would’ve mated with the first alpha who showed an interest in me. That would have been a disaster.”

     “It’s good that you broke away from the ideals expected of omegas.”

     “Of course it’s good. Now I get to be with someone I truly love, and so do you.” She came and sat down next to me. “Eren’s coming back, Levi. I don’t think there’s anything that could keep him from coming back to you.”

     “Let’s hope so.”

     She patted my hand. “You should sleep now. If we hear anything, we’ll wake you up. You can count on me for that.”

     I must have been more tired than I thought, because the moment my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep sleep.

 

\---

 

The second I woke up, I could smell Eren’s scent. It was an intense mixture of sorrow, hatred, and devastation.

     I sat up in bed, alarmed, and pushed the comforter off me. The apartment was dark, so I had a hard time maneuvering around the room without knocking stuff over, but it didn’t take long to realize that he wasn’t here anymore. Why hadn’t he woken me when he got back? And where could he be now? Something bad must’ve happened if he smelled like this. I had to find him. There could have been casualties.

     “Shit,” I hissed when I bumped my hip against the dresser near the door. I flipped the light switch up and fumbled forward until I made it to the living room. I scooped up the phone and dialed Erwin’s office number. It rang several times, but no one picked up. So much for Isabel and Mike coming to wake me up if they heard any news. I shouldn’t have gone to sleep.

     Slamming the phone down with enough force to crack it, I went back into the bedroom and wrestled a shirt on. I was in the middle of slipping on a pair of jeans when someone walked into the apartment. I heard the front door click shut.

     “Eren?” I called out, rounding the corner in a hurry. Isabel stood in the entryway, looking sick. “Where is he? Why do you look that way?”

     “Down at the medical wing,” she said. “His friend isn’t in good shape and Hanji—”

     “Hanji made it?”

     She nodded. “But Petra...” she trailed off, lowering her head as she shook it. I understood what that meant.

     For a while, all I could do was stand there and let the news sink in. Petra had been the first person to believe in my capabilities. When Erwin had given me the position of captain, she stood behind me without question. It was because of her that Auruo, Gunther, and Erd accepted me so quickly. She was the reason they even gave me a chance. Now she was gone, and it was my fault that she’d been captured in the first place. If I’d listened to Eren, things wouldn’t have ended this way.

     I had more blood on my hands, and the sad truth was it wouldn’t end here. There would be more deaths. This war would see to that.

     “I’m going down to the medical wing to see Eren,” I said without looking at Isabel.

     “I’ll come with you, but just so you know, he isn’t acting like himself. Hanji told me that he lost someone close to him. It seems to be affecting him pretty badly.”

     I turned my gaze on her. “Did Hanji tell you who?”

     “An alpha named Mikasa.”

     My eyes widened in shock. That explained why his scent was the way it was. No doubt he was blaming himself for her death. I had to get to him. I couldn’t let him go through this alone. After I put on my shoes, I hurried passed Isabel and out of the apartment. She followed close behind, but both of us remained silent as we walked down the corridor toward the medical wing. Too many things had happened. I didn’t know how to feel. On the one hand, I felt relieved that Eren had made it back, safe and unharmed. But, on the other hand, both Petra and Mikasa had lost their lives.

     By the time we reached Hanji’s office, it became obvious to me that I was pushing my body to its limits. My legs were on the brink of giving out from beneath me.

     “You feeling okay?” Isabel asked when she noticed I’d slowed down some.

     “Yeah, I’m fine.”

     “There in room fourteen, so we’ll be there soon.”

     I nodded and followed her down the spacious hallway. When we were standing in front of the room, I pushed open the door and the first thing I saw was a thin blonde sprawled out on a cot. Standing next to it, with his arms crossed, was Jean. He didn’t say anything to me as I stepped inside, but my focus wasn’t on him anyway. Hanji was kneeling beside the cot with a vial of medicine in hand. Her face was littered with bruises and welts. There were also vivid rope burns around her neck. What had they done to her in the span of a week?

     “Hanji,” I said, stunned into silence before I could continue. I wanted to kill the ones responsible for leaving her like this.

     She whipped around with a huge smile on her face. “Levi, I was wondering where you were! Did you miss me?”

     “Idiot,” I grumbled in hopes of dislodging the lump in my throat. “Like I’d miss you.”

     “Oh, come on. You love me. You’re probably holding back tears as I speak.”

     I opened my mouth, ready to launch some hasty comebacks, but then I caught sight of the rope burn again and all I could say was, “I’ll make them pay for this.”

     “I always knew you cared. All it took for you to admit it is me being held hostage.”

     “Be quiet.” I got closer to the cot. “Who’s that?”

     “Armin,” Jean supplied.

     I looked up at him, taking note of his rigid posture. “Should you be in here?”

     He bared his teeth at me. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

     “Excuse me?”

     “I’m sorry,” he said with some effort. “You just...smell. You’re making him uncomfortable.”

     “S’okay,” Armin murmured. He looked half asleep as he turned his face towards me. “Your Eren’s mate, aren’t you?”

     “Yes.”

     He smiled at me. It was gentle, but it didn’t erase the pain in his eyes. “He’s not in a good place right now. You should go find him. He needs you.”

     I glanced at Jean. “Where did Eren go?”

     “He took off after Armin got settled in. I thought he was heading back to his apartment, but I guess not.”

     “I’ll find him,” I said, turning around, but before I could walk out of the room, Hanji grabbed me by the wrist.

     “You shouldn’t go looking for him alone. Jean’s right. You smell like a delicious sack of pheromones. You’ll attract any alphas in the vicinity, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay in here, either.” She gestured to Jean. He was now in obvious discomfort. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and his hands were clenched at his sides. When I glared at him, irritated, he averted his gaze. I knew it wasn’t his fault he was reacting this way, but his strong scent repulsed me. At least he wasn’t acting upon his instincts. More and more alphas were surprising me these days.

     “I’ll stick with Isabel for the time being.”

     Hanji patted me on the shoulder. “Be careful, and call me when you’re back at Eren’s apartment. I want to make sure you got there safely.”

     “I will,” I said, turning towards her. The smile on her face never faltered. I couldn’t understand how she could smile after everything that happened to her. And at me, of all people. “I’m sorry, Hanji.”

     “You have nothing to be sorry about, Levi.”

     “It’s my fault you—”

     She slapped her hand over my mouth before I could utter another word. “I won’t listen to that nonsense. You weren’t at fault for what happened. I don’t blame you, so don’t place the blame on yourself. Do you understand me?”

     I shoved her hand away. “I understand.” Although I didn’t agree with her. “When my heat is over, we need to discuss a lot of things. But for now, I’ll get out of your hair. I don’t want Jean to snap.” I left the room without saying anything else and found Isabel waiting for me out in the hallway. “Eren isn’t here. We’ll have to track him down before he does something irrational. I don’t trust him to be alone right now.”

     “Then we should probably check where Erwin’s being kept. Don’t you think Eren will direct his anger towards him?”

     “You’re right. Come on. We don’t have any time to waste.”

     As of this moment, there were only three suspects who could be the spy leaking critical information to the enemy. The top one being Erwin. Of course Eren would go after him. If he believed Erwin was the one providing the humans with the information they needed to track him down when he was in their territory, then he would pin Mikasa’s death on him. There was no telling what he could do to Erwin now, when he was blinded by rage.

     The closer we got to the chambers, the more anxious I became. Why would Jean leave Eren alone after what had happened out there? Was he so caught up on that new omega that he would abandon Eren without thought?

     That bastard.          

     “He’s close by,” Isabel said, bringing me back from my thoughts.

     I sniffed the air. Eren’s scent was strong enough to mask Isabel’s. He was beyond furious, at this point. “Let’s hurry.”

     We had taken two steps into the main room when we heard a loud crash that stopped us in our tracks. I expected Isabel to rush forward to see what was happening, but she reared back like someone had pulled on her from behind. With how powerful Eren’s scent was, that didn’t surprise me much, but I didn’t have time to wait around for her to recover. Something was going on.

     “Eren!” I yelled as I ran toward the confinement chamber Erwin was being held in. Another crash. Followed by a gurgling sound. “EREN!”

     I was shaking when I barged into the chamber to see Eren standing over Erwin in his royal form. Dizzy, I leaned up against the doorframe to keep myself from falling over. My body wouldn’t be able to take much more of this. My vision was already swimming in and out of focus. I had to close my eyes to stop the room from spinning.

     “Levi,” Eren said, sounding alarmed. He hurried over to me and took me into his arms. “What are you doing here? You should be in bed resting.”

     “I came looking for you.”

     He pressed his hand to my forehead. “You’re burning up. Come here. I’m taking you back to the apartment.”

     Before he could scoop me up, I put my hands on his arms and held him at bay. We couldn’t just ignore the issue at hand. “Eren, what are you doing?”

     “What I should have done when we came back from our last expedition.”

     “We still don’t know if Erwin is the one—”

     “How else do you intend to find out?”

     I peered up at him. “You’re not thinking straight. I know you want to find the spy, but this isn’t the way.”

     Silence followed. As he looked at me head on, jaw strained from clenching his teeth, I could see how much it took for him to keep himself in control. But I wouldn’t let him do something he might regret later. Until we knew for sure who the spy was, we couldn’t jump to conclusions and hurt the wrong person.

     “I know you’re hurting,” I whispered, cupping his face, “but doing this to Erwin isn’t going to resolve anything. Right now you have a lot of anger because of what happened to Mikasa”—he flinched when he heard her name, but I continued—“and I know you want to take it out on someone. You want to avenge her, and I promise you that once we know who the responsible party is, I’ll let you do whatever you want to them. But until then, I can’t let you do this.”

     I didn’t know how he would take this. He wasn’t in the best frame of mind, so I prepared myself for the worst possible outcome.

     After a while, he sighed. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

     “Don’t apologize. You have every right to be angry. I am, too.” I grabbed his hand. “We’ll figure this out together.”

     Erwin chose this moment to pick himself up off the floor. The only noticeable damage that had been done to him was the cut on his lower lip. Other than that, he had gotten off easy. Things could have gone a lot worse.

     “Erwin,” I began.

     He raised his hand. “I understand why this happened. You don’t need to explain anything to me.”

     Eren steered me behind me. “We weren’t planning to.”

     The next thing I knew, he took my hand and led me out of the chamber. I didn’t argue with him on this. After all, it would be better to put some distance between him and Erwin. Although he’d agreed his plan was the wrong course of action, he was still in his royal form, and I had a feeling it wasn’t by choice. Anything could set him off. Being around Erwin any longer than necessary was a bad idea. He needed time to accept what had happened to Mikasa.

     That alone would be a hard pill to swallow.

     “Let’s get you home,” Eren said.

     “Suddenly your apartment is my home?” I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping to lighten the mood.

     He turned towards me and stood there in silence for a moment before he said, “It can be. I haven’t forgotten what you told me before I left.”

     “What was that exactly?”

     “You said that when I got back, I could bond mark you. Or have you changed your mind?”

     “Of course I haven’t changed my mind. Why would I?”

     A flicker of pain crossed his face. It was gone a moment later, replaced with a smile that was far too sad to be real. “I’m glad you haven't.”

     “Eren—”

     “Let’s go home,” he said, cutting me off.

     I let him direct me forward without protest, but I couldn’t forget that smile. Why did it feel like a scream for help? Why did it feel like a goodbye?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren is starting to feel the weight of what he his on his shoulders. My poor baby. He's feeling a lot of pressure right now. I want to hold him. But, on a good note, I'm feeling those jearmin vibes. I had to slip my other otp into the mix here, because Armin deserves endless love after everything he's been through. T^T
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. Much love.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, after I’d showered and eaten breakfast, I went down to the pharmacy with Eren. He hadn’t talked much since his encounter with Erwin the night before. He seemed lost in thought. Whenever I spoke to him it took him a moment too long to respond. I wanted to unscrew his head like a lid and fish out all the bad thoughts occupying his mind. It hurt to see him this way, so guilt-ridden and remorseful for something he wasn’t responsible for. How long would he let this eat away at him? How long would I have to watch him suffer in silence?

     As I hunted through drawers for some gauze, I kept my eyes glued on Eren, who stood near the door with two packer bottles in hand. Hanji had ordered us down here to gather some medical supplies for Armin. After examining him, she discovered he had a severe case of dehydration. He’d lost over nine percent of his total body water. Since the sanctuary didn’t have what she needed to properly treat him, she was improvising with an electrolyte solution meant for children. That must’ve not been good enough for Jean, because he’d offered to make a run for what Armin needed later this evening. It was apparent he’d already staked his claim on the omega.

     “What else are we here for?” I asked once I found a roll of gauze that had been stuffed behind a box of band aids. I couldn’t remember half of the things we were supposed to get.

     Eren blinked several times, almost like he was coming out of a fog, and said, “Antiseptic wash and antibiotic ointment. Also, pain medication, but I’m having a bit of trouble finding the bottle Hanji instructed me to get. None of these are labeled.”

     “Of course they’re not. Hanji likes to make life difficult for no apparent reason. I’ll phone her here in a minute.” I waited for him to add something more to the conversation, but he just stood there with a vacant look in his eyes. I couldn’t stand seeing that expression anymore. The omega in me demanded that I do something to ease the pain of my alpha. So, setting the gauze off to the side, I walked over to him and stood on tiptoes to bring our necks together. Our scents filled the space between us. No matter how many times I smelled it, the effect it had on me didn’t lessen.

     “Levi,” he breathed out as he relaxed against me, head dropping onto my shoulder.

     I pressed in close to him, a wounded noise parting my lips when he slid his hands beneath my shirt. The warmth of his palms on my bare skin felt so good. I couldn’t help but respond to it.

     “Your heat still isn’t over, is it?” He leaned back far enough to look me in the eye. “You must be in pain.”

     “It’s not so bad anymore. My heat should be over within a day or two. Don’t worry.”

     “I do worry. You’re straining yourself when you should be at home resting.”

     I grinned despite myself. That was the second time he referred to his apartment as our home. How could something so simple make me this happy?

     “I’m fine. What we should be doing is calling Hanji to figure out which pain meds she wants us to get.”

     “Levi,” he said, cupping my face, “are you sure you’re okay?”

     “Yes.”

     He studied my face intently before he went in search of the phone. I breathed out a sigh of relief. It would be pointless to worry him over something I had under control. My pain was tolerable. Once we checked in on Armin, and made sure he was in stable condition, I would get the rest I needed.

     “Find it?” I called out.

     “Yeah.” A few minutes later, with the phone still pressed to his ear, he said, “It’s the one with the blue colored pills.”

     I picked up one of the packer bottles he’d set on the counter and unscrewed the lid. Peeking inside, I saw an abundance of blue tablets. “Found them.”

     “We got them,” Eren said into the phone. “We’ll be there soon.”

     I dumped all the stuff we needed to take with us into a tote bag. Then, while Eren faced away from me, I dry swallowed two of the pills. Hopefully these would bring the pain in my joints down some. The ones Mike had given me yesterday had almost no effect. Most medication was ineffective on me these days. I didn’t want to put too much thought into why that was. There were already too many things falling apart for me to add my health problems into the mix.

     When Eren joined me a bit later, I went to hand him the bag, but he gathered me up in his arms before I could. He nuzzled the side of my neck with a low groan. To keep him close, I buried my fingers in his hair and tilted my head to the side.

     “Mm, you smell so good right now,” he whispered in a husky voice.

     “Am I distracting you?”

     “Yes, but I don’t mind.”

     “Well, we can always go back to the apartment after we’re through checking in on Armin. Like you said, my heat isn’t over.”

     He dragged his teeth across my scent gland, almost like he couldn’t help himself. The skin there was still sensitive from his previous love bites. “Don’t tempt me. I’m sure you’re sore and exhausted from our week in bed. The last thing you need is for me to get carried away.”

     “I am exhausted,” I admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you.” I turned my head to press my lips behind his ear, dropping my voice as I added, “You can be gentle with me, can’t you?”

     He pulled me closer in response, and I could feel his erection press against my thigh. My entire body heated up from the memory of having him inside me. If we kept this up, we wouldn’t be visiting Armin anytime soon.

     I froze as it dawned on me that I was no longer the only unmarked omega here at the sanctuary. Although Armin was one of Eren’s friends—a good enough reason to put all worries aside—I couldn’t stop the sudden bout of jealousy that overcame me. It was made worse when I realized I had no idea what type of relationship they had before the purge. I assumed they were nothing more than friends, but what if I was wrong? What if there was more to them that Eren hadn’t told me about?

     “Levi, what’s wrong? Your scent—”

     “Ignore it,” I said a little too sharply. Before he could question me further, I turned away from him and pretended to be busy sorting through the items I’d put into the bag. I all but crushed the gauze in my hand.

     “You can’t expect me to ignore it.”

     “Sure I can. We have places to be.”

     “You’re really okay with me seeing Armin right now?”

     My hand tightened around the gauze. I spoke through clenched teeth as I muttered, “I don’t see why not.”

     “Well I do,” whispered Eren, leaning in close enough for his lips to brush along the back of my neck. I shuddered at the sensation. “Why would I go when you’re already seething with jealousy?”

     I scoffed. “I’m not seething. Don’t exaggerate. I’m perfectly fine.”

     “Are you? So, you won’t mind if I go visit Armin in this state?” He eased his hips forward and his erection settled in the cleft of my ass. I bit down on my lip and resisted the urge to push back against him.

     “I don’t mind at all,” I lied.

     He slipped his hands beneath the hem of my shirt, pressed his palms flat on my stomach, and started to move them up. He didn’t stop until his thumbs brushed over my nipples. I braced my arms on the counter in front of me to keep myself upright. My knees had gone weak from that simple touch. I knew it was only a matter of time before I gave into him.

     “I think you’re lying,” he said into my ear. “I think you would hate for Armin to see me like this. Is that what has you so jealous?”

     “I’m not”—he licked the shell of my ear—“j-jealous.”

     Eren went still behind me. I expected him to resume his teasing, but instead he took a step back. I almost whined at the loss of contact. As it was, I reached back unconsciously to snag a handful of his shirt. His eyes snapped down to my hand, then moved back up to my face. A salacious grin lifted the corners of his mouth. That grin should have pissed me off, seeing how smug it was, but the sight of it made me melt. Especially now that his eyes were burning silver.  

     He said, “What are you doing, Levi? Since you don’t mind Armin seeing me like this, shouldn’t we be going?”

     Oh, this clever bastard. Writhing in front of him wasn’t enough. He wanted to hear me admit I was jealous of another omega.

     Well, two could play at this game.

     “You’re right. I’m sure Hanji and Jean are waiting on us by now.” I slid my arm through the strap of the tote bag and headed toward the door without waiting for Eren to take the bait. I knew he would. Sure enough, he caught me by the wrist long before I could put any distance between us. I turned around to face him with a look of innocence plastered on my face. “What? Is there something else we need to take with us?” When he kept quiet, I said, “Oh, could it be that you forgot all about Jean?”

     “Levi...”

     “It doesn’t bother you, does it? That he’s an alpha?”

     “Levi,” Eren repeated, his voice low and gruff. “You know it bothers me.”

     This went as I thought it would. I planned on dragging it out to give him a taste of his own medicine, but I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. His scent was clouding my mind. All I wanted was for him to reassure me that we were still on the same page we’d been on before he left to meet with Mikasa. I needed him to make me forget the pained expression on his face when I told him I hadn’t changed my mind about him bond marking me. Like he wished I’d changed my mind.

     Why would he want that?

     “If Armin sees you like that, it’ll bother me too,” I said, deflated.

     Eren stepped up to me and gathered my face up in his hands. “I wouldn’t let him see me like this.”

     “How am I supposed to know that? You and Armin could have been something more in the past.”

     “What? No, you have the wrong idea. I don’t see Armin that way. He’s just a friend. That’s all he sees me as, too.” He brushed his thumbs over my cheekbones. The grin from earlier had returned. “So that’s why you were jealous.”

     “Can we not talk about this?” I grumbled.

     He kissed me. “Fine, but I want you to know you have nothing to be jealous about. You’re the only one I’ll ever want.”

     “Good.” I crawled my fingers up the center of his chest. “Because I plan on having you bond mark me tonight.”

     There it was again. The same pained expression he’d given me last night. I couldn’t look at it without doubt creeping in, so I turned my head to the side, but not before my heart sank in my chest.

     “Tonight then,” he said after a long pause, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t happen. I had a feeling that the one who had changed his mind was him.

 

\---

 

We found Armin sitting up in bed when we walked into his room twenty minutes later. A tray of food sat untouched on his lap. He didn’t seem the least bit interested in it. His eyes were fixed on the wall in front of him. By the looks of it, he was zoned out and unaware of his surroundings. After everything he must have gone through since the purge started, that wasn’t too hard to believe. I didn’t even want to imagine what the humans had done to him. They had Hanji for a little over a week and she’d returned with countless bruises to show for it.

     “Armin?” Eren said gently.

     Armin blinked several times before he turned his head in our direction. When he saw Eren, some clarity returned to his face and a small smile touched his lips. “I was wondering when you would come by. Hanji left a while ago to check on someone else. I’m not sure when she’ll be back.”

     “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I got caught up in some things.” Eren pulled up a chair next to the bed and grabbed Armin’s hand. Anger shot through me faster than it ever had before, but he didn’t seem to notice. “How are you feeling? You look a lot better.”

     To be fair, Armin did look a lot better this morning than he did when I first saw him. Some color had returned to his cheeks. He’d also taken a shower, so his hair and skin were clean of dirt, but he was still a far cry from looking healthy. He was nothing more than skin and bones.

     “I’m feeling okay,” Armin said. “A bit tired, I suppose.”

     “You should try to eat something before you rest.” Eren eyed the plateful of food he hadn’t touched. “Do you not like what they brought you to eat? I could always run down to the dining hall to get you something—”

     “No, no. This is fine. It’s just... It’s hard for me to eat without feeling sick. Hanji said I should start off slow, so I ate some soup earlier. That filled me up.”

     I pointed at the tray, which was piled high with various dishes. There was enough there to feed several people. “If she wanted you to start off slow, then why did she bring you all that?”

     “Oh,” Armin said, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “That was Jean. He thought I should try to eat more than soup. He insisted.”

     “Of course he did.”

     “It’s all right. He didn’t mean any harm.”

     I started to contradict him, but Eren shot me a look that silenced me on the spot. It surprised me how much that stern expression stung, like I’d been rebuked by the last person I expected it from. All I could do for a stunned moment was stare at him. Then I crossed my arms over my chest and announced I would wait for Hanji out in the hall. It was clear I was getting in the way of them catching up, but of course Ms. Science decided right then to waltz into the room with a clipboard in hand.

     “You guys finally showed up,” she said as she stepped passed me. “Took you a while. Were you busy with other things?” She flashed me a smirk over her shoulder.

     I handed her the tote bag without comment. She must have taken the hint, because she stopped her teasing and walked up to the side of the bed.

     “Jean sure did bring you a lot of food,” she remarked as she dug through the bag. She plucked out the packer bottle and twisted off the lid.

     Armin looked down at the plate and started blabbering out apologies. “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience. I know I shouldn’t waste it when food is scarce. I’ll try to eat as much as I can.”

     “Don’t worry your little head off.” She held out two pills to him before he could scoop up the fork he’d left abandoned on the tray. “I haven’t eaten breakfast yet and this happens to look very appetizing. I’ll eat it. You, on the other hand, need to rest. You have a lot of recovering to do.”

     After she set the tray on the bedside table, and he drank the pills, she coaxed him to lie down. He tried to talk with Eren some more, but it didn’t take long for him to nod off into a deep sleep.

     When Hanji was sure he was asleep, she said, “Let’s talk outside.”

     We followed her out of the room, down the hall, and into her office. She sat down at her desk. “Your friend has been through hell and back. Given the trauma he’s been put through, it’s a miracle he’s this alert and responsive.”

     “Armin’s a lot stronger than he looks,” Eren said.

     “You don’t have to convince me of that. I can see it for myself, but he will need plenty of time to recover both physically and mentally.” She picked up a pen and tapped it against her lip. “Your friend, Mikasa, willingly sold herself to the enemy to protect him, but that doesn’t mean they treated him well. From what I understand, he was held in solitary confinement six months out of the year. During that time, he endured his heats without any aid from others. It’s been like that for the past six years. And, as you saw for yourselves, they hardly fed him.”

     Eren gritted his teeth. “I’ll kill them.”

     “I wouldn’t stop you if you tried,” she said.

     “Hanji,” I growled.

     “I’m only telling the truth. There are still thousands of helpless people being held in captivity at Shiganshina. Many of the omegas there are used to sate alphas that have been injected. Most of them don’t survive the experience, and the ones that do wish they hadn’t.” She ran her fingers over her cheek, where a bruise stained her skin a deep shade of purple. “If I was given the chance to put a stop to this, I would take it in a heartbeat. Someone has to take a stand, or nothing will ever change.”

     “Maybe there’s already someone who’s ready to take a stand,” Eren said.

     I glared at him. “No. Get that thought out of your head right now. You’re not getting involved in this.”

     “I’ve already decided.”

     “What?” It felt like someone had knocked the air out of me. Then the pieces started to come together. How could I have missed it before? “That’s why you looked at me that way when I told you I wanted you to bond mark me tonight, because you don’t plan to, do you? You’ve decided to leave the sanctuary without me.” I laughed as the truth sank in, but it stuck in my throat and came out sounding like a choked sob instead. “I trusted you. I gave you everything. And now you’re going to run off and try to play the hero?”

     He took a step closer to me with his arms held out. “Levi...”

     “Don’t,” I snapped. Anger rolled through me like a hot knife, cutting and burning everything in its path. “Don’t you fucking touch me! I thought you were different, but you’re not. You’re just like all the rest of them. Blood thirsty and ravenous! I can’t believe I let you trick me into thinking any differently.”

     His brows drew together as though I’d hit him. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t feel any worse than I did. I wasn’t the one abandoning him.

     I shook my head in disbelief. “Why would you do this after our week together? Why now?”

     “Because I’ve realized that I’m the only one who can make a difference in this war. I’m the only one who can lead an army of alphas.”

     “And you’re willing to give us up? Just like that?”

     “I have to.” His voice cracked and his body shook as he said the words, but it wasn’t enough to change his mind. I could see that much and it tore me apart.

     Tears blurred my vision. All I could think to say was, “I love you. I wanted—I _want_ us to last. So why... Why would you do this to me?”

     Eren took my face into his hands and pressed our foreheads together. He kissed my wet cheeks. There wasn’t enough fight left in me to push him away, but every touch of his lips dug a knife in my heart. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not enough. I know you don’t understand, but I have to do something. I have to, Levi.”

     “And you can’t mark me because—”

     “I don’t know if I’ll survive this,” he finished. “How can I take that from you when I’m not sure I’ll come back?”

     I squeezed my eyes shut. There was nothing left to say. I could beg him to stay, to reconsider his options, but it wouldn’t make a difference now. He’d already made up his mind on the matter and I was nothing more than collateral damage. Still, despite all of this, I couldn’t bring myself to regret being with him. He’d given me a taste of happiness in this world that had offered me none. And now he was taking it away and shattering me anew, but this time he wouldn’t stick around to piece me back together again.

     This time I would stay broken.

     “Levi?” Hanji said softly, carefully.

     When I leaned back, I didn’t look at her. I kept my eyes on Eren and spoke passed the lump in my throat. “Let’s end this now then.”

     He flinched. “I...” He swallowed several times before he continued. “If that’s what you want.”

     “Don’t pretend like you’ve given me another choice. This is what you’ve left me with.”

     I pulled away from him and felt myself go numb.

     It was over.

     We were over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is just the beginning of their pain. I'm sorry. xD


	25. Chapter 25

The walls I’d surrounded myself with for protection against alphas had been broken down by the last one I ever expected to hurt me. I bared all to Eren – insecurities, vulnerabilities, fears, hopes – just to watch him ruin us with three words.

     _I have to_ , like we meant nothing at all.

     Another loss. This one far more painful than I ever would have imagined. I didn’t know how much more I could take without breaking down completely. All I wanted was to erase him from my memory. To scrub away every last bit, until nothing of that alpha remained behind to haunt me. Maybe then I would be able to sleep. Maybe then I would stand a chance of closing my eyes without seeing his face when he promised he would always come back to me, with eyes filled with warmth and sincerity.

     _Lies. That’s all you ever gave me, Eren, and I was stupid enough to believe them._

I sat up in bed and glanced at the clock above the dresser. Three in the morning. This was turning out to be another sleepless night. If I stayed here, these thoughts would circle around my head until I ended up rushing to Eren’s apartment in a fit of rage. I’d done that for the past three nights, caught up in a twist of emotions, but always stopped short before reaching his front door. What good would it do to confront him now, when he was leaving the sanctuary in two days? He’d made his decision. Anything I had to say wouldn’t change that.

     With a sigh laced with irritation, I turned on the floor lamp near the bed and slid on a pair of basketball shorts. The training grounds would be empty at this hour. I would go there to blow off some steam and tire myself out. That was a better option than paying a late-night visit to someone I couldn’t even bear to think about.

     I left my room at a snail’s pace, my legs an aching mess. It didn’t come as much of a shock that my physical state had taken a turn for the worst when I parted ways with Eren. Aside from him not scent marking me anymore, I refused to take any type of medication. It was useless. No amount of pills would dull the pain, and Hanji wasn’t any closer to discovering a way to reverse the effects of the suppressants. I was on a one-way street to a slow and miserable death. Perhaps that’s why Eren chose to leave me behind, because he knew I was a lost cause. I couldn’t even fight alongside him.

     What purpose did I serve in his life now?

     The training room looked bigger without everyone in it. I didn’t bother turning on the lights. In the dark, I limped over to a punching bag and leaned my head against it.

     _I don’t need anyone. Stop wasting your time thinking about him. He doesn’t want you anymore._

I squeezed my hand into a fist and punched the side of the bag. With each breath that rushed out of me, I slammed my fists against the bag over and over again, until I couldn’t feel my hands. But I didn’t stop or slow down. I wanted everything to go numb. I didn’t want to feel a damn thing.

     _You knew you were going to lose him from the very beginning. Why are you so surprised? Did you actually think an alpha would change its colors for you? How pathetic can you be?_

“I hate you,” I muttered under my breath as blood seeped from my knuckles. “I hate you so much. You fed me lies even after I trusted you with everything. I broke my promise to her for you.” I banged my fists against the bag one more time before I fell to my knees. Sweat dripped from my forehead, my lungs rattled with every breath I took, but none of it could distract me from the persistent ache in my heart. Not even the vibrant red of my blood as it trickled down the side of the punching bag.

     I slumped against the wall. The urge to curl up in a ball and sleep right here on the padded floor mat was hard to ignore, but it wouldn’t be long before people started showing up to train. The last thing I needed was to be gawked at. So, with what little strength I could muster, I stood up and managed two steps before my legs gave out.

     _Come on._

     “Levi?”

     That voice...

     “How long have you been standing there?” I growled without turning around. I didn’t want to see him.

     Eren said, “I just got here. You weren’t in your room, so I got worried and followed your scent.”

     “Why would you worry about me? I’m no longer your concern. You shouldn’t even have gone to my room in the first place.”

     “How could you ask something like that? I still care about you. That hasn’t changed.”

     “But everything else has.”

     Silence. Then, hesitantly, “Do you need help getting back to your room?”

     “Not from you,” I bit out through clenched teeth. Why was he being so persistent? “Just go. I’ll manage fine on my own.”

     I heard him walking toward me and I wanted to scream at him to stay away, because he was right. He still cared about me, but that wasn’t enough to make him stay.

     I wasn’t enough.

     When he knelt next to me, I whispered, “Don’t. Please.”

     “Let me take you back to your room.”

     “No.”

     He clenched and unclenched his hands by his sides, so much like when I first met him. He was trying to control himself. “I don’t want to leave you here alone when you’re like this.”

     “Like it matters. You’re going to leave me alone for much longer.”

     He reached out and pressed his palm to my cheek. The feel of his skin on mine made everything inside me collapse at once.

     Killing me. He was killing me.

     “I know,” he said, “and I deserve your hatred for that. I don’t blame you for saying all those things.”

     “So, you heard all of that and believed it? How stupid can you be?” I finally met his gaze and tears welled up in my eyes without my permission. Why did they have to make an appearance now? I already felt so exposed and pathetic. “I could say I hate you a million times over and not mean it once, but I wish I could hate you. Things would be so much easier for me then. It wouldn’t feel like I’m being ripped to shreds whenever I think of you.”

     Eren stared at me with a look on his face that made my heart swell with false hope. I watched his composed expression shatter in seconds, revealing just how broken he was over this. “I’m so sorry, Levi. I never meant to hurt you. You have to understand where I’m coming from. This isn’t easy for—”

     “Stop. Don’t say anything else. It won’t change anything.”

     Will it?

     He wrapped his arms around me, silent, pleading, and I had the answer to my question. It didn’t change a damn thing.

     “I love you,” he whispered.

     “Liar.”

     And he said nothing to make me believe otherwise.

 

\---

 

I stayed in bed for the rest of the morning, with my face pressed into the crook of my arm. I smelled like Eren. Although his scent filled me with sorrow, and brought back painful memories, it comforted me enough to put all that aside. At least for the time being.

     I’d just begun to drift off when someone decided to hammer on the door without pause. No one other than Hanji would do that. Avoiding her had become impossible these past few days. Since I wouldn’t take any medication, or allow Eren to scent mark me while he still dwelled in the sanctuary, she had started to pester me whenever she got a chance to. It was driving me insane. What made her think that today would be any different than yesterday? I had no intention on gobbling down some pills just to set her mind at ease.  

     “Go away!” I shouted.

     “I have a key!” she hollered back.

     “Hanji, I swear to God, I will murder you in cold blood if you step foot in here.”

     “Hello!” she boomed as she walked into the room, undeterred by my threat. I glared at her while she set down several items on the bedside table. I was about to give her a piece of my mind when I spotted Armin standing in the doorway. Seeing him caused something inside my stomach to twist into a knot. Was he the real reason behind Eren’s rash decision to leave the sanctuary? Was there something going on between them? I didn’t want to believe it, but Eren had an entire life before this war began, and what if he denied that they had a previous relationship just to spare my feelings?

     I felt sick.  

     “Why are you here?” I demanded, clutching at the sheets in hopes of stopping my hands from shaking.

     Hanji was about to answer when she noticed my eyes weren’t on her, but on Armin. She went back to setting stuff out.

     “Oh, um,” he stammered as he looked around the room at anything but me, “I’m here because Hanji told me that you like to visit an area above ground. I thought it would be nice if we could go there together today. Jean already checked everything out to make sure it was safe, so you don’t have to worry about any of that.”

     “What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?”

     He came closer to the bed, determined to get through to me. “I’d like to talk with you about Eren. In private, if you don’t mind.”

     What if he really was the reason Eren was leaving? What would I do then? I’d always told myself that if another omega came along – one that could offer Eren everything I couldn’t – I would let him go. I wouldn’t stand in the way of their happiness, because they would be more deserving of his love than I ever could be. But, god, this hurt too much. I didn’t want to hand him over to anyone else, omega or otherwise, but it seemed like that wasn’t my decision to make.

     I’d already lost him.  

     “Fine,” I said at last. “Hanji, hand me my shoes.”

     She picked them up off the floor and placed them on the bed beside me. “Should I come along?”

     “No, it’s okay. I think I need to be alone when I hear whatever Armin has to tell me.”

     Once I put on my shoes, I followed Armin out of the room and down the corridor. We didn’t speak. Part of me was afraid to see this through to the end. The other part of me knew I wouldn’t let Eren go any other way. As much as I hated to admit it, Armin was better suited for him in the long run. He wasn’t sick. He could live out the rest of his life by Eren’s side without worrying about his health. Unlike me, he wasn’t running on limited time.

     “Are you feeling okay?” Armin asked as he pushed open the door that led to the outdoor area. “You look winded. Was the walk too much for you?”

     “Just tell me what you have to say.”

     “Come. Sit down.”

     I avoided the spot I’d laid with Eren and instead chose to sit near the fence. The flowers I had found so beautiful last time were now dead from the heat. They’d shriveled up.

     “I know how you’re feeling,” Armin started.

     I scoffed. “You don’t know anything.”

     He turned to me. “I know you don’t want Eren to go, but this is something he has to do.”

     “Why are you telling me this? How does any of this matter?”

     “Because I want you to understand why he’s leaving. Do you think he can protect you here forever? Jean told me there’s a spy residing here, and that you’re no closer to figuring out who it is than you were when you first discovered the information. The human soldiers can attack this place at any time. Can you even defend yourself in this state?”

     “Can you?” I shot back.

     “No.”

     I dropped my head into my hands. “None of this is helping me understand why Eren is leaving. What’s your point?”

     “He’s doing it for you.”

     “Bullshit! He’s not doing this for me. What game are you playing here?”

     Armin gritted his teeth and stayed silent for a long time. Then he said, “My senses are weak, and even I can smell the death on you. Do you think if you ran away with Eren he could keep you safe out there? One of his best friends died right in front of him and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. The last person he wants to lose is you. But taking you away from here isn’t an option in your current condition. So, what’s the only other option he has left? To face the enemy head on and take them out. He’s doing all this to keep you”—he thrust his finger against my chest—“safe.”

     “No that’s... That can’t be it. You’re lying.”

     “Believe what you want, but you’re the only thing that matters to him.”

     I shook my head, refusing to believe this. “Why wouldn’t he tell me? Why would he let me believe that he wanted us to end?”

     “Because if you knew he was doing all this for your sake, then you would do anything to stop him.”

     “And you’re telling me this because you want me to stop him?”

     He smiled. It looked sadder than any smile ever should. “There isn’t any stopping him. I’m telling you so you will wait for him. So you won’t lose hope.”

     “You believe he can end this war?”

     “Don’t you?”

     Did I?

     Eren was by far the strongest alpha I’d ever met. His royal lineage allowed him to possess strength I’d never even heard of. But was it enough? Could he take down Shiganshina District with only a handful of alphas standing behind him?

     “I don’t care what it takes. I’m not going to let him risk his life for me,” I said. I went to stand up when I heard a whirring sound. By the time I looked up to see where it was coming from, the bullet had pierced through my arm. I couldn’t even register the pain at first, too shocked and confused.

     “Levi!” Armin shouted.

     Knocked flat on my back from the impact, I stared up at the sky, a high-pitched ringing in my ears. The sun was hidden behind a collection of dark clouds. It looked like it would rain soon.

     “You need to get up. Hurry. We don’t have a lot of time. Levi, come on.” Armin slid his arm beneath my shoulders and urged me into a sitting position. “They’re almost here. Get up. We need to get back inside.”

     I blinked at him. “Who?”

     “Human soldiers. They discovered our location.”

     I can’t remember how Armin managed to get me inside. All I could focus on was the excruciating pain in my arm. Had the bullet hit the bone?

     “We have to warn the others,” Armin said. “Do you think you can walk on your own from here? You need to go find Hanji. I’ll get Eren and Jean. They’ll get us out of here.”

     Unsure if I could walk, I clung onto him for a moment longer. Then I nodded. “I’ll be fine. Go.”

     He took off running. Without his support, I stumbled to the side and slammed against the wall. This couldn’t be a normal bullet. It felt like my arm was on fire. Was it specifically designed for our kind?

     It didn’t matter. Getting to Hanji was my top priority.

     I pushed off the wall with my good arm and started walking as best I could. It wasn’t easy. My vision swam in and out of focus, making it all the harder to keep my balance. At this rate, I wouldn’t make it far, and the soldiers would be inside at any minute. It was good that Armin left me behind. If he had stayed, both of us would be at risk. Better for one of us to die, then both of us.

     Blood, so hot it felt cold, ran down the length of my arm and dripped from my fingers onto the floor. I was dizzy. That wasn’t a good sign, but I had to keep moving, if only to see Eren one last time. I wanted to hear his voice. Feel his hands in my hair. See those brilliant eyes as they gazed into mine. If I could get to him, then it wouldn’t matter if this entire place came crumbling down around us, so I couldn’t stop here. I couldn’t leave things the way they were left after our run in at the training room.

     I forced myself to keep walking one step at a time. I scrubbed at my eyes with the back of my hand, desperate to clear my vision, but it remained blurry. Was I going to die here? Like this?

     No. I couldn’t. Not yet.

     As I took another step, I lost my footing and stumbled onto my hands and knees. A sharp pain shot through my arm. I clenched my teeth to keep from crying out. When the pain dulled down some, I tried to stand back up, but I teetered to the side and ended up right back on the floor.

     “Fuck,” I said. It was hopeless.

     “Levi! Levi!”

     I glanced up as Eren came running up the stairs in his royal form. When he saw me sprawled out on the floor with blood pooling around me, he rushed over.

     “Oh, God,” he said, kneeling so he could lift me into his arms. His eyes jerked up to my face. “I’m going to get you out of here. Armin’s already getting a car ready. You’re going to be okay. Just hold on. Please just hold on.”

     He held me close to his chest. Then he stood up. I kept my eyes on his face and lifted my hand to touch his cheek as he ran towards the stairs.

     “I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” I said, but my voice didn’t come out as loud as I intended it to. I felt so weak. “I convinced myself that you and Armin were going to run away together.”

     “What?” He looked down at me, but didn’t slow his pace.

     “I’m an idiot.” I chuckled. The sound abruptly cut off with a groan.

     “We’re almost to the garage. Hold on a little longer.”

     Darkness crept around the edges of my vision before it went completely white. Then I saw nothing at all. Blackness enveloped me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a bitch when it comes to cliff hangers. I'm sorry. 90% of the time it's not even intentional, that's just how the chapter comes to an end.  
> Anyway, this fic is almost done. Thank you to all who've stuck with me throughout it all. I know I've become a slow writer, and my updates vary in time, but I'm grateful to those who encourage me to keep going. <3


	26. Chapter 26

When I came to – the world nothing but a fog of distorted shapes and sounds that took an eternity to form into something recognizable – I had no idea where I was or how I got there. I couldn’t even remember what had happened before I blacked out. My thoughts were a scrambled mess. No matter how hard I tried to make sense of it all, everything remained a blur, but there was something at the edge of my mind that kept coming back. What was it? A memory? Why did it seem so important for me to remember it?

     “I think he’s waking up, Hanji,” someone said, their voice unnaturally low.

     “Make sure you don’t let him get up, you hear me? And keep applying pressure to his wound.”

     I forced my eyes open and saw nothing but blobs of colors that wouldn’t focus. It didn’t matter. Passed the dryness of my mouth, I croaked out, “Where am I?”

     “Shh, you’re fine. You’re fine now,” the voice said.

     “Where’s Eren?”

     Suddenly the memories came rushing back to me faster than I could process them. I was shot in the arm. The sanctuary was under attack when it happened, ambushed by armed soldiers coming from the forest. I remember trying to make my way down to the medical wing before they could reach the building, but not making it far enough to evade them. If Eren hadn’t come and carried me away, they would have caught up to me. What would they have done with me if they had?

     And what happened after that?

     “Answer me,” I demanded when no one spoke up. “Tell me where he is.” I tried to sit up, panicked, but someone held me down.

     “You’ve lost a lot of blood, Levi.” The voice was starting to level out and sound familiar as my senses came back to me. “You can’t get up right now.”

     “Then answer my question. Where is Eren?”

     “It’s all right, Isabel. I’ll take it from here.” After a long pause, the other person continued, “This is Hanji, Levi. I injected you with a powerful opioid about half an hour ago, so you’re probably feeling a little fuddled right now. I know you’re eager to find out what’s happening, but before I tell you anything, I want you to promise me that you won’t try to get up. You’re not in any condition to be moving around freely. I’m surprised you even regained consciousness.”

     “I won’t get up. Just tell me what happened to Eren.”

     She sighed. “By the time any of us realized what was going on, it was too late to do anything to defend ourselves. The soldiers had the building surrounded and we were trapped inside. There wasn’t a way for anyone to get out without running into them.” Another pause, this one followed by a shaky breath. “Eren knew the only possible way to get you out of there without us being attacked or followed was if he stayed behind to distract them. It turned out to be a lot easier than we thought it would. He was their target, so they kept their attention on him as we snuck out. But we’ve been on the road ever since.”

     “On the road? We need to go back right now! We can’t leave him there alone. Take me back!”

     “He’s not alone,” Isabel said. “Your entire squad stayed behind to help him—including Farlan.”

     I shook my head. “I don’t care. I want to go back.”

     “We have another problem to deal with first,” someone said from the front seat. When I looked up to see who it was, my vision still blurry, I could barely make out Mike behind the wheel. “I think we figured out whose been leaking information to the enemy.”

     “Who?”

     “Jean,” Hanji told me.

     “Why would you think that?” I asked. “Jean has helped us since he came to the sanctuary. He’s given us no reason to suspect him.”

     Mike gripped the steering until his knuckles turned white under the strain. “Exactly, and we trusted him because of that. When you guys came back from your failed expedition, he convinced us to lock up Erwin and the rest of the group who came with him from the other compound. That left him to roam around unsupervised whenever he damn well pleased. He’s also the one who suggested that Armin take you outside today. Don’t you think that’s unusual after what happened to you out there? Did they even take a shot at Armin?”

     “That still doesn’t prove he’s the person who set us up. He was there when we were attacked with tear gas. He helped defend my squad.”

     “Maybe he needed to be there so none of us would think he was behind the entire thing. It’s because he was there that Eren listened to him about Erwin.”

     I closed my eyes. None of this made sense to me. Why would Jean betray us? He didn’t come off like the type of person to work with the humans. He seemed so repulsed after he learned what Mikasa was doing for them, how she helped them capture our kind. Could he really be responsible for all this? I found that hard to believe.

     I asked, “Where is he now?”

     Isabel made a noise in the back of her throat and crossed her arms over her chest. “He’s following us. He decided to tag along in one of the only cars we had back at the sanctuary.”

     “He didn’t stay with Eren?” I said.

     “Are you starting to realize why we believe it’s him?” Mike’s eyes flicked to the rearview mirror. “He pledged his loyalty to Eren, just like Farlan did, which means he would lay down his life for him. But unlike Farlan, he refused to stay behind when Eren needed him most. He insisted on coming with us, but in a separate vehicle. That doesn’t sit well with me. When alphas choose a leader, they stick with them until the very end. It’s in their nature. Especially when that alpha turns out to be a royal one.”

     Mike was right. If Jean really chose Eren as his leader, he wouldn’t have left him at a time like this. He would have stayed by his side throughout it all, no matter how bad things got.

     “What about Erwin?” I asked.

     Hanji held onto the back of the passenger seat as though she needed it for support. “He was still locked up when they overran us, but he couldn’t have called them before then, if that’s why you’re asking. He had no access to any phones to contact anyone.”

     “So he couldn’t be the spy,” I said.

     This whole thing was a complete disaster that was bound to get worse soon. Everything that had protected us for the past four years had been ripped out from underneath us in a matter of seconds. Now what were we going to do? Where would we go? It’s not like we had a lot of options to choose from, and even if we found a place to take shelter, we had no supplies. How long would we be able to survive like that?

     I turned my head to look at Hanji. “I want to go back. I won’t last long with these injuries. You know that. And if I’m going to die, I want to be with Eren.”

     “I’m not about to let you die any time soon,” she said. “A few years before this war started, I had a lab built out in the mountains near here. I needed it to be far away from any residential area, so I could conduct various experiences under the radar. You know me, I got the urge to create illegal medications without getting caught.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “That’s where we’re headed. It’s the only place I can think that’s safe, and I have food and medical supplies stored there. That’s why we can’t allow Jean to follow us. If he is working with the people at Shiganshina, then there’s only one reason he wanted to come along.”

     “To get to me,” I said. Royal alphas had one weakness: their mate. The sure way to take Eren down was to have me. Maybe that’s why I was shot, to make me an even easier target to capture. “How are we going to get Jean off our trail?”

     “I’m afraid that’s not going to be easy.” Mike glanced at me over his shoulder before he returned his gaze to the road ahead. “He has Armin with him.”

     “It makes for a good back up plan,” I muttered in disgust. “Speaking of plans, do you guys have any up your sleeves?”

     As Hanji began to explain the plan they’d come up with, my mind wandered to Eren. How had we ended up like this? And when did I allow myself to hope that things would turn out any different? We had found each other at the worst possible time. Star-crossed lovers gravitating toward each other until we collided head on and melted into one another to create something devastatingly beautiful—something that was destined to destroy us both.

     And I would let it.

     “Pull off to the side of the road up here, Mike,” Hanji said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I’d zoned out while she told me their plan. Now I had no idea what they had in store for Jean. “We don’t have a lot of time to work with. We need to get Levi to the lab soon. I don’t know how much longer he can hold up.”

     She had a point there. I couldn’t even feel my right arm. That’s why I hadn’t looked at it since I woke up. I was afraid of what I might see.

     “Everything’s going to work out.” Hanji patted me on the shoulder, no doubt smelling the fear in my scent. Then she pushed open the car door.

     “Wait,” I said, holding onto the back of her shirt with my good hand. “What are you guys doing? Jean’s an alpha. He may not be as strong as Eren, but he’s stronger than you. You’re outmatched. If he figures out that you’re onto him, he can cause trouble.”

     “Just leave it to us.” She directed her gaze to Isabel, then at her growing belly. “Stay in the car. If something happens, you drive away from here as fast as you can. You don’t wait around for us. Is that understood?”

     Isabel wiped at her eyes before the tears collected there could fall, then nodded once. Hanji gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I still hadn’t released the back of her shirt. What if Jean sensed that something was wrong? Would he attack them without warning? I’d already let Hanji down once. Now I was doing it again.

     God, I felt so useless.

     “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

     She smiled sadly. “After what I did to you and Nanaba, I owe you this much.”

     “No—”

     “Levi”—she put her hand over mine—“let me do this.”

     I wanted to take her place. Even when it was impossible for me to fight, the chance of another person dying because of me was too much to cope with. _All_ of this was too much. This war had no end in sight. No matter how many people lost their lives, the humans – the very people I once envied – kept coming back for more. And they were free to do as they pleased. No one tried to stop them. No one even cared what they did to us. We didn’t matter to anyone.

     “I’m sorry,” I repeated as I struggled to sit up. Isabel held me down. “I can’t do anything. I’m sorry.”

     Why couldn’t I protect anyone I cared about? Why was I so weak whenever I needed to be strong? Maybe I deserved for things to end this way. Maybe I didn’t deserve any better.       

     “You stop that right now,” Hanji snapped and clutched my face with one hand. “I know what you’re thinking. It’s written all over your face. Stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over, Levi. None of this is your fault.”

     “I want to help you.”

     “You don’t think I know that? But if you get out of this car, you’ll put all of us at risk. For our safety, you need to stay put. Got that?”

     When Hanji talked to me in the serious tone she was using now, all I could do was listen and follow her orders. So even though I wanted to lurch out of this car and knock Jean unconscious, I said, “Okay.”

     I couldn’t bring myself to look at her as she stepped out of the car with Mike. I couldn’t even meet Isabel’s gaze. I felt like such a failure lying here in the back of a beat-up car.

     “Should I move to the front seat?” Isabel asked the second the doors closed, tone hiked.

     “No. If Jean sees you doing that, it might make him suspicious.”

     “Then what should I do if things get out of hand?”

     “They won’t,” I told her, even when I was unsure about how things would turn out here. “Just keep a close watch on them.”

     Time seemed to slow down until I couldn’t keep track of it anymore. I wanted to take some of the weight off Isabel’s shoulders, but my eyelids were growing heavier by the second. Black spots clouded my vision and a cold sweat broke out across my skin. There was something tied around my arm that was cutting off the circulation. That’s probably why I couldn’t feel it. How long had it been like this? If the blood flow had been cut off for longer than an hour, I ran the risk of losing it.

     I laughed at the realization. One loud _ha!_ It sounded somewhat hysterical.

Wouldn’t it be funny if I winded up armless?

     Isabel’s wide eyes jerked in my direction. She looked frightened, shaky, and I regretted letting my emotions get the best of me. She didn’t need this on top of everything else that was going on. By the looks of it, anything could set her off.

     “Levi, are you okay?”

     “I’m fine,” I lied, for her sake. I wasn’t fine. Not even close. “How are things looking?”

     “They’re just talking. Jean’s keeping Armin close to him, though. That can’t be a good sign, right?”

     “It’ll be fine. Hanji and Mike will take care of it.”

     A few minutes later, Isabel perked up in her seat. She tapped me on the leg. “They’re coming back.”

     I tried to nod, but couldn’t move. I was losing my grip on consciousness. My arm throbbed in time with my heartbeat.

     When Hanji and Mike slid into their seats, I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Everything was fading away until nothing but darkness remained.

 

\---

 

The soft murmur of voices woke me. I couldn’t tell who they belonged to. They drifted together until they became a constant droning in the background. As I opened my eyes to take in my surroundings, I met a blinding white light overhead that forced me to close them again. My immediate reaction was to shield my face with my arm, but that only led me to discover I couldn’t move it. Both of my arms were strapped down at the wrists. The cool feel of leather against the skin of my ankles alerted me that I’d been restrained there too. What could be happening now? Nothing about this felt right.

     “E-ren,” I mumbled in a hoarse voice I hardly recognized. It took a tremendous amount of effort to talk. My throat was dry and scratchy. “Want...Eren...”

     The droning stopped and the light overhead dimmed, leaving behind bright red spots in my vision. I blinked several times before Hanji’s face came into focus. She looked wild-eyed, hair a complete wreck on top of her head, like someone had yanked it out of her usual ponytail. She was also bleeding from a deep gash above her left eyebrow. The uneasy feeling grew in intensity. Something bad had happened. Of that I was sure.

     She must have noticed me studying her cut, because she said in explanation, “Jean didn’t fall for our plan. Things got ugly.”

     “Is everyone okay?”

     “We’re all fine. Mike looks worse than I do, but it’s nothing he can’t handle.” She started pacing beside the bed, like she couldn’t keep still. “Believe me, Jean could have done a lot worse. He held himself back. God, I want to strangle him. If he thinks he’s getting away with this, he’s wrong.” She suddenly whirled around to look at me. Then her eyes darted down to my injured arm. “The bullet they shot you with burst inside your arm right as we got back into the car. It released something into your bloodstream. We were forced to ask Jean for an explanation. He told us that you’ll die within the next twenty-four hours unless he gives you the antidote. In exchange, he wants to inject Eren with the alpha serum.”

     “What?” I asked, confused. “That can’t happen.”

     “There’s an alternative.” Hanji rolled up the sleeve of my shirt, and for the first time, I looked at the bullet wound. My arm was deathly pale, but the veins beneath my skin were a deep maroon, almost black. They framed a rather gruesome looking hole in my upper arm. “Levi, look at me.”

     I forced my gaze to meet hers. Tears were running down her face. “So, he was the traitor all along?”

     “Yes. He assumed we would be suspicious of him after he insisted on coming with us, so when we were getting ready to drive away, he made the bullet erupt. He had some type of device that set it off. _That_ was his backup plan. Not Armin.” She burst into tears. “How could I be so blind? I should have figured it out before.”

     “Hanji,” I said, “what’s the alternative?” I already had an idea of what it might be.

     She swallowed and wiped at the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand. “I could...amputate your arm. We made it to the lab, so I have everything I need to perform the surgery.”

     “It’s too late for that.” Mike stepped up to the bed. He’d been hidden in shadows before. The room we were in was too dark and my vision was still fuzzy. No wonder I hadn’t spotted him. “Whatever was in that bullet, it’s already making its way through you, Levi. Amputating your arm won’t stop that.”

     “It could work!” Hanji shouted, but I could see in her eyes that it wouldn’t. She was grasping at straws, desperate for some type of solution, but there was only one I could think of.

     “Don’t let Eren know of this. When he comes here, let him believe I’m dying because of the gunshot wound.”

     Hanji shook her head. “No. We can amputate your arm. We’ll see if that works. It has to—”

     “Hanji,” I said, cutting her off before she could continue her senseless rambling. I waited for her to look at me before I went on. “You and I both know it won’t work. This is the only way. If Eren were to be injected with the alpha serum, the consequences would be a lot worse than me dying. He can’t fall into the hands of the people at Shiganshina. You know that better than anyone.”

     She shook her head again, but said nothing.

     Mike put his hand on her shoulder, yet his eyes remained on mine as he said, “I don’t think Jean will take the chance that we might let you come to this decision. I believe he has every intention on stopping Eren when he’s on his way here.”

     “Then what are you doing standing around?” I snapped. “You should be out there trying to stop him. Eren can’t find out about this. You know what choice he’ll make if he knows there’s an antidote for me. And why should he make that kind of sacrifice for someone like me? I’m dying anyway.”

     “You don’t think we know how things will go if Eren found out? But Jean’s a lot stronger than both of us combined. Like Hanji told you, he could have done a lot worse, and he will if we come across him again. We can’t stop him from telling Eren. That’s his main objective.”

     “Then we have no other choice but to end this now,” I said.

     I’d always imagined my life would end in the middle of battle, after I had done my part in this awful war. I never once thought it would happen in a cold, sterile room that smelled strongly of disinfectant and latex gloves. But things never go as you plan them to. Life is unpredictable and chaotic, leading you down paths you never believed you would take.

     This was the path intended for me. If only I could see Eren one last time, then I could accept this fate, but I wouldn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to him.

     _Let him find happiness after this. Let him find someone that will dull the pain I will leave behind._

     I turned my head to the side so Hanji wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

     We were supposed to find a way to beat this together—alpha and omega uniting to bring this war to a close. But in the end, it beat us both.

     “I’m ready,” I said, even when my voice trembled with fear and regret. “Do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have my permission to chuck a hammer at my head. I will endure that for you.
> 
> I imagine I'll get some comments asking if Levi will die. I just want to say that I didn't mistag this fic, meaning there are no major character deaths. But, you know, there are things worse than death. (I'm awful. End me now.)
> 
> BUT thank you so much for those who continue to leave me comments. I've been having a bit of self-doubt lately, and seeing those comments complimenting my writing really helped me. I can't thank you all enough. <3


	27. Chapter 27

_ Eren_ 

 

The stench of blood filled my nose and hung thick in the air around me. I was covered in it, clothes stained red under the bleak sun that offered no warmth. As the dense liquid dripped from my fists onto the ground below, I became acutely aware of how none of it was mine. Not a single drop. How many of them had I killed in my rage? A number didn’t come to mind. Their faces were but a blur in my memory. All I knew was that they posed a threat to Levi, so they were expendable, and when they were gone, I would be able to go to him. That’s all I could think about. That’s all that mattered.

     A groan interrupted my musing. I turned my head toward the sound. A soldier lay a few feet away from me, clutching his side. When he saw that I’d noticed him, he shook his head, frightened.

     “Please,” he pleaded, digging his heels into the dirt so he could push himself back.

     I felt no sympathy for him. “If our positions were switched, would you spare my life?”

     “I—I would!”

     I walked over to where he lay. The smell of fear rose off him. It revolted me.

     “Liar.” I slammed my foot down on his chest. He coughed and blood dribbled from the corners of his mouth. “You would kill me in a heartbeat.”

     Both his hands closed around my ankle, but he had no hopes of moving my foot from his chest. “Please,” he repeated.

     “Your men came here with the intention of killing everyone who took shelter within this building. If you would have succeeded, it wouldn’t have mattered to me so long as one man remained unharmed. But that was your mistake. You attacked him first.” I shoved the toe of my boot against his throat. He sputtered. “Now I’ll kill every last one of you. I won’t stop until it is done.”

     “Monster,” he bit out. He knew no amount of begging would save him. “You deserve to die. All of you do!”

     I peered down at him so he could see the unnatural color of my eyes. “You’re right. I am a monster, and I’m done letting insignificant humans like you rule my life.”

     I brought my foot down on his throat. His windpipe caved in under the weight. He struggled against me, nails digging and scratching at my ankle as he sucked in air that granted him no relief. I applied more pressure still and his eyes bulged in their sockets before they rolled back in his head. How easy it was to take someone’s life. I’d become desensitized to it. I understood now how necessary it was for me to fight back. So I felt no remorse.

     The man’s hands fell away from my boot; body twitching for several minutes before it went completely still. I drew my foot back then and scanned the area around me. The sanctuary was engulfed in flames. Anyone who had made it out alive was long gone by now, taken away by Erwin in an old, shabby prison bus he’d kept hidden in a garage he had told no one about. I hoped he would make it to safety. I’d misjudged him. Accused him of being a traitor when he had done nothing to earn the title.

     But who could be the one responsible for this?

     I would kill whoever it was when I found out.

     “Eren!” Farlan came running out from behind the building. When he reached me, his eyes dragged over the fallen soldier at my feet. I expected to see disapproval in his eyes, but what I saw there was sick satisfaction. The separation from his mate had made him cold.

     I knew the feeling too well.

     “Did you find a vehicle?” I asked.

     “Yeah, one of theirs.”

     “Let’s head out. If anyone should follow us, I’ll see to them.”

     He nodded, but said, “I don’t think anyone will follow. Not after everything you’ve done.”

     I didn’t respond. I couldn’t care less what anyone thought of me or my actions. None of it mattered enough to pierce through the determination to get back to Levi.

     “Are Auruo and Erd waiting for us back at the car?” I asked. Gunther had gone with Erwin, believing his place was with the people he’d come to know here at the sanctuary. I held no grudge against him for coming to that decision. But the rest of Levi’s men were too loyal to him to part ways with me. They would stick by my side until he instructed otherwise.

     “They aren’t waiting. They should be here in a minute.”

     As if on cue, a Military Jeep Wrangler came peeling around the corner. I spotted Erd behind the wheel; Auruo next to him in the passenger seat. After I’d flagged them down with a wave of my hand, he pulled up next to us, restless with adrenaline and panic. Farlan and I jumped into the backseat. Not a second passed before Erd stomped on the gas and the jeep jerked forward toward the dirt road that would lead us to the highway. Before we got too far, I took one last look at the sanctuary. Flames licked at the building, turning it into charred rubble. It would be gone by nightfall. As would the lifeless bodies that were scattered all around it.

     “You’re going to have to direct me where to go, Eren,” Erd said, raising his voice to be heard over the howling wind. “You’re the only one who knows the location of Hanji’s lab. She didn’t tell anyone else.”

     I gave him directions and then sat back in my seat. My skin smelled of rust and smoke. Any trace of Levi’s scent had been overpowered by it. Without his aroma mingling with my own, I felt empty and incomplete. Had I really planned to go months without it? When I made the decision to leave him, to go and attack Shiganshina head on, I believed that was the best choice to keep him safe. But now the truth came crashing down on me. I wouldn’t have lasted. I would have come crawling back, desperate for a touch, a kiss, the heady taste of him.

     I’d been a fool to believe otherwise.

     “We’ll get them back,” Farlan said.

     I nodded and hoped that were true.

 

\---

 

Hours on the road had made me uneasy. There’d been no sign of the vehicles Mike and Jean had taken. I wanted to believe they were all safe at the lab, but my mind kept coming back to the possibility that they hadn’t made it there at all.

     “We should reach the mountain in half an hour,” Erd announced.

     Farlan chewed at his nails as his foot tapped out a ceaseless rhythm on the floor mat. He was anxious. The emotion twisted his scent into something like a plea. If Isabel had been near enough to smell it, she would have come running, because it was calling for her. Desperate. Tormented.

     He ached to see her.

     “How much gas do we have left?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm and leveled, even though I wasn’t doing any better than the alpha sitting next to me.

     _Levi. Please be okay._

     “A quarter tank,” answered Erd. “It’s enough to get us there. We’ll be driving on fumes towards the end, but we’ll make it.”

     I nodded and turned my head to look out the window. That’s when I spotted something in the distance, off on the side of the road. From here, it looked like a speck of silver, but as we got closer, it began to take shape. It was a car. One I had seen before. “Jean,” I said in disbelief.

     Farlan and I were too impatient to wait for the jeep to come to a complete stop. We hurled ourselves over the side, our feet slapping against the asphalt before we took off at a run toward the parked car. I could tell something was wrong long before I saw Jean sitting on top of the hood. Blood had dried and crusted brown over a wound on his brow. Remnants of it stained his face and the collar of his shirt.

     Who had done this to him? And why?

     “I’ve been waiting,” Jean said with a smile that did not touch his eyes, which remained cold and calculating.

     “Where’s Isabel?” Farlan demanded.

     “She’s made it to the lab by now.”

     “All of them?” I asked.

     Jean leaned back against the windshield, carefree as ever, and tucked his laced fingers behind his head. “Yep. All of them.”

     “Why aren’t you with them?”

     He shrugged, indifferent. “No need to be. I’m waiting for you.”

     “Why?” I gestured for Farlan to move behind me. Something wasn’t right here.

     Jean tilted his head back to look at the sky. For a moment, just a second, something like regret flashed across his face. It was gone as fast as it appeared and he said, “Come on. Take a wild guess.”

     “We don’t have time for these games,” Farlan snapped.

     “You’re no fun, but I guess I’ll humor you.” Jean turned his head to regard me. He pointed a finger at himself. “It’s me. The spy I warned you about—It was me the whole time.”

     I moved before I even realized what I planned to do. It was only when my hand shot out, fingers curling around his neck with bruising force, that I understood my intention. I wanted him dead.

     “Tell me why,” I snarled.

     He grinned as he forced out the words, “Release me and I’ll tell you. Or you can kill me. But I should warn you: If I die, so does Levi.”

     “What have you done?”

     He tapped on my hand and I understood at once what he meant. He wouldn’t tell me anything unless I let him go.

     Gritting my teeth, I relaxed my grip and allowed my arm to fall limply to my side. “Tell me what you did to him.”

     “Damn.” He rubbed at his neck. “That’s going to bruise.”

     “Tell me what you did to him!”

     “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting to it.” He hopped off the hood of the car. “Well, you see, Mikasa wasn’t the only alpha captured by soldiers. I was too. And like her, I was given a chance to follow orders without being injected with the alpha serum.” He turned around so his back was facing us and lifted his shirt. There was a metal device sticking out from the base of his spine. It was identical to the one I’d seen on Mikasa’s neck. “As you can see, I took their offer.”

     Betrayal, sharp and heavy, stabbed at me.

     “You knew Mikasa?”

     “Hardly. I knew about her, but we never met. They kept us alphas apart. They didn’t want us teaming up on them.”

     “So this whole time... you were plotting against me?”

     He looked at me over his shoulder. “ _They_ were, the main honchos at Shiganshina, and their plan worked. That bullet that was shot into Levi contained an altered version of Strychnine poison. By now Levi should be in grave pain.”

     I advanced on him, mindless, pushing him hard against the side of the car. His head rolled back from the force of the blow and struck the window. Glass shattered around us and cut into him. Satisfaction welled up in me at the sight of blood seeping from his head. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing I did to him would ever be enough.

     “Have you forgotten already?” he said, that infuriating grin never once leaving his face. “If I die, you’ll never get the antidote to save your mate. And if you think I have it on me, and you can kill me to get it, you’re wrong. They have it. The soldiers. And they won’t give it to you until you agree to their terms.”

     “Which are?”

     In response, Jean raised his hand and pretended to inject something into his neck.

     “They want to inject me with the serum?” I asked.

     “Bingo.” Something shifted in him then, the grin dropping away to reveal desperation. “You don’t have to go through with this. You can let Levi die. You _should_ let him die. He’s not worth the destruction you’ll cause, but they know you will choose to save him.”

     “And you could have chosen to end this before it reached this point, but you didn’t.”

     “I—” He cut himself off, teeth clamping down on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. Then he shook his head. “I have someone, too. They would have killed him if I alerted you, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t let that happen.” He dragged his hand down his face, chuckling. “They know that our mates are our weakness.”

     Farlan stepped in. “You don’t have a bond mark.”

     “Neither does Eren,” Jean countered, but then sighed in exasperation. He brought the collar of his shirt up to his neck, scrubbed at the skin there with the soiled fabric. When he was sure he’d removed everything, he tipped his head to the side and showed us the evident slash across his scent gland. He had kept it hidden beneath layers of makeup. “Do you understand now?”

     “How do you know they won’t go against their word? That they won’t harm your mate after you hand over Eren?”

     Jean smiled, sadly. “They have returned him to me already, although...” His brows pinched together, as if he were pain. “I’m not sure he’ll accept me anymore after he finds out that I played a part in this.”

     “Armin,” I breathed out as realization hit me. “Armin’s your mate, isn’t he? That’s why he was so comfortable with you from the start.”

     “He knew I was up to something, but when I asked him to keep our bond a secret, he didn’t question me. I’m sure when he discovers what I’ve done, he will wish he would have.” 

     Mikasa’s face as I’d last seen it, slumped with sorrow and resignation, came to mind. She had sacrificed her life for nothing. The only reason Armin escaped Shiganshina was because he had been their bargaining chip. Without him, Jean wouldn’t have let things come this far, since he knew what it meant if I were injected with the alpha serum. The war would indeed come to an end, but it wouldn’t be us who won it. And still, against all reason, he hoped that Armin would be spared.

     Such foolishness. Senseless and idiotic... Yet, I understood perfectly.

     I would have done the same for Levi. I planned on doing the same, even when that meant I’d be lost to madness.

     “Take me to my mate,” I said. “Let me see him one last time, so I can say goodbye. Then I will do whatever you want.”

 

\---

 

The drive to the lab was done it utter silence. None of us spoke to break it. When the mountain came into view, I asked to be let out of the jeep. My feet felt heavy as they carried me down the narrow path that winded up to a metal door concealed inside a cave. Opuntia cacti thrived here, their flowers lighting the desert landscape in numerous shades of yellow. For a moment, I stood there outside the door. The warm breeze carried the blossom’s scent to me. Then I realized this would be the last time I would have enough presence of mind to appreciate any of this.

     I turned toward the door and, pulling it open, accepted my fate.

     Inside, the lab was cold and tidy. I followed the sound of voices to a small room in the back. When Mike and Hanji saw me, they sprung to their feet, alert and wary of me.

     “I want to see him,” I said in a broken voice. “Please.”

     After a moment of hesitation, they both stepped aside and there was Levi, strapped down to a hospital bed in the corner of the room. He didn’t look conscious. Sweat had made the medical gown he wore stick to his chest and stomach. His black hair, which was made blacker from the moisture, clung to his forehead.

     “He’s been out for a while now,” Hanji said. “He wanted us...” Her throat closed as she swallowed several times, cutting her words short. “He wanted us to finish this before you could come. But I couldn’t—we couldn’t—”

     Silence followed.

     “Can I be alone with him?” I asked at last.

     She nodded. Both did. Then they left the room.

     As the door shut behind them, I unstrapped his hands and took them both into mine. I brought them to my lips and held them there as I whispered, “I’m sorry. I let this happen. I’m at fault. But I will make it up to you. I will set this right.” Tears burned my eyes and blurred my vision. I blinked them away. “I love you, Levi. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. When you wake up, and you’ve found out what I have done, I hope you can forgive me.”

     My entire body trembled as I lowered my head onto his chest, breathing in his scent.

     _Please open your eyes. Please look at me and speak to me one more time._

He didn’t. He remained silent and still, although his labored breathing reminded me that he was very much alive. That was enough.

     I set his hand down on the bed, then bent forward to press my lips to his. They were dry and cold against mine, but that didn’t matter. I drank him in, wishing I could pour my soul into his.

     I broke away, stifling a sob that rose in my throat. I put my hand on his chest, over his heart, and said, “I am leaving myself behind, right here with you. If you ever see me as the horrible creature I will become, please know that isn’t me. That I’m right here.” I pressed my fingers into his skin. “That I’ve always been right here.” Before I could change my mind, I gathered his face in my hands and kissed him one last time. Then I stood and forced myself to walk out of the room.

     Everyone was waiting for me out in the lab, including Jean, who stood apart from the rest.

     “You can’t do this,” Mike said, a futile attempt to steer me in another direction.

     “I won’t let him die.”

     Isabel opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Farlan couldn’t bring himself to look at me, as did all the rest. The only one who stepped forward was Hanji. She put her hand on my shoulder.

     “Let Jean inject you here,” she said.

     I shook my head. “No. Once the serum runs its course, I will be rabid and you would all die by my hands. I won’t allow that to happen.”

     “I could sedate you.”

     “What good would that do? You wouldn’t be able to bring me back.”

     “I know that, but you got your chance to say goodbye to Levi. Don’t you think he deserves the same in return?”

     I turned my head to the side. “I don’t want him to see me like that.”

     “This could also give us time to get away from the lab,” she continued, persistent as ever. “The people at Shiganshina will most likely send you back here the instant you’re turned. If you’re sedated for a few days, that could buy us some time to find a safer location, one that you don’t know about. Even Jean would agree to that.”

     “Jean doesn’t get a say in this anymore,” Armin muttered passed clenched teeth.

     Jean looked more hurt than I had ever seen him before, like the harsh words of his mate had caused him physical wounds that would never heal.

     “Then it’s settled,” Hanji said.

     I couldn’t find a reason to protest. Levi deserved closure, and if seeing me in that state would make it easier for him to let me go, then so be it. I just hoped he wouldn’t do anything reckless. And that thought is what led me to make my final request from the people who would soon be my enemies. “Promise me that you will keep him away from me, no matter the cost,” I said, more so a command than anything else. “Don’t let him come after me. Keep him far away and safe. That’s all I ask for.”

     Hanji took my hand and squeezed it. “I would have done that even if you hadn’t asked it of me.”

     Farlan, Erd, Auruo, and Armin all nodded in agreement. Even Isabel, whose face was wet with tears.

     “And you.” I looked at Jean. “How will you get the antidote?”

     “There is a small group of soldiers waiting for my call. I will go and meet with them to get it. And trust me, I will not let them follow me back here.”

     “They will be satisfied with that?”

     “Yes,” he said. “The serum contains a microchip that will activate at a press of a button.” He slipped his hand into his pocket and extracted a small remote control. “This won’t work unless the serum has bound itself with your DNA. Once I’m with them, I’ll have to press it.”  

     Hanji turned toward him. “So, we’ll be working on limited time?”

     “They won’t come. They’ll assume Eren will get the job done for them.”

     I tensed, but there was no point in delaying this any further. The longer I put this off, the more chances Levi had of succumbing to the poison running through his veins. I wanted to end his suffering. Though I knew I would only end it for a short time. Once he saw me, changed forever, another cycle of misery would begin. And he would blame himself for it. But, with time, I hoped the guilt would ease.

     “Come into the other room,” Hanji instructed me. “I want to strap you down before you’re injected.” She looked up at me. “And you’re sure about this?”

     “I cannot live without him,” I answered simply.

     “And you think he can live without you?” When I offered no response, she said, “Ah, I see, you’re not going to give him a choice.”

     Without waiting for her, I strode into the next room and braced myself for what was to come.      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say there's only 4 to 5 chapters left. I'm on edge! But I tried to update this quick, so you guys wouldn't be left hanging for too long. Although with how fast paced this story is, you'll always be left hanging until the final chapter comes to a close. xD  
> I hope all of you will stick this out with me, though. I got a few people telling me they weren't sure if they could continue this fic, and I can't force anyone to read on, but I wish you would. Because I'm an unpredictable author and you never know what can happen in these final chapters.
> 
> But I hit 4,000 kudos! Wow! I never thought I'd hit that amount with any of my fics. Thank you all so much.


	28. Chapter 28

_ Eren _

 

The realization of what I was about to do sank in as I stepped into the room opposite Levi’s. There would be no coming back from this. Tomorrow I’d wake up as someone other than myself. Would this new Eren retain the memories I had now? And if he did, would it be enough to hold onto a sliver of sanity? It was a foolish thing to hope for. I’d seen alphas that had been injected. They were mindless, crazed beings who only craved destruction and death. I would be no different from them. In fact, being a royal alpha, I would be much worse.

     I forced myself to take the steps that would close the distance between me and the medical bed across the room. The first thing I noticed were the leather restraints on either side of the mattress. They looked flimsy. They wouldn’t be able to hold me for long.

     “They don’t look like much, but they’ll get the job done,” Hanji said when she walked into the room and noticed me inspecting them. She avoided making eye contact with me, keeping her gaze pinned on a spot in front of her.

     “Can I be sedated...after?”

     “Don’t worry about any of that. I have it all under control.” She gestured to the bed. “If you’re ready, we can get started.”

     A moment of doubt kept me glued to the spot I was in. I understood better than anyone how dangerous I could be when I lost control, and the serum would unleash my true potential as a royal alpha. I would be just like a wild animal, running on instinct and killing anyone I considered a threat. In this case, the threats would be people who had done nothing to deserve my anger. And omegas—omegas would lure me in with their pheromones. Would I force myself on the ones that crossed my path? Would I kill them in the process?

     Bile rose in my throat, the acidic taste of it filling the back of my mouth. I didn’t want to mate with anyone other than Levi, to gain pleasure from some stranger. The thought alone sickened me.

     “Having second thoughts?” Hanji asked as she set out the things she would need to put me under. She was careful to hide the hope in her voice, but I heard it all the same. She didn’t want me to do this. None of them did.

     “Tell me there’s another way to save him.”

     “You know there’s not.”

     That left me with two options. I could go through with this, like I’d planned, and become the ultimate weapon for the people who had started this war six years ago. Or I could let Levi slip away. I could let him rest and stop seeing the horrors of this war unfold in front of us.

     “Tell me what Levi would want,” I said.

     “I think you know.”

     I turned around to look at her. “Tell me, anyway. I need to hear it.”

     Without hesitation, she said, “He would prefer to die than see you as their puppet. He wouldn’t want this for you. He wouldn’t want this for any of us.”

     “I know you’re right. I know you are, believe me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to let him go. To think that I won’t see him after today... It kills me.” I sat on the edge of the bed and dropped my head into my hands. “I wanted to give him the life he deserves. I tried so hard to give him that, but this world, the way it is now, we could never live in peace. Still, when I was with him, it felt like we could do the impossible. I really believed we could find happiness together.” That we could live out the rest of our lives hiding away from this war. Now I knew that was nothing but a dream. One that would never become my reality.

     “Eren, if you choose not to do this, his death won’t be on you,” said Hanji.

     “That doesn’t change anything. He’ll still be dead.”

     She sat next to me. “Does this mean you’re considering changing your mind?”

     “If I want to do right by him, then I have no other choice but to change my mind.”

     No matter how I looked at it, Levi would never want this to happen. He wouldn’t be grateful I sacrificed myself for his sake. He wouldn’t wake up and feel relieved he was alive. When he found out what I had done—what I had become—he would hate himself for being the cause of it. Then he would try to stop me, thinking it was his responsibility to do so, and I had no doubt in my mind that, when I ran into him in that mindless state, I would kill him.

     How could I go through with this knowing that? Did I ever really have a choice? Both paths would lead me to the same outcome, the one I’d do anything to prevent. But I couldn’t stop it from happening. I couldn’t save Levi’s life.

     I stood up, surprised my legs supported my weight. It felt like I was breaking. “I need to be with him.”

     Armin came running into the room before I could step out into the hallway. The vial he held caught my attention and made me stop mid-stride. It was filled with a murky, thick liquid that coated the glass as it sloshed around with his movements. It had to be the serum, but why would he have it? I couldn’t imagine Jean handing it over to anyone, let alone him.

     “Armin, what are you doing?” Hanji asked, sounding alarmed.

     “I have an idea,” he said. “One that’s better than the one you and Mike came up with on the ride here.”

     “You and Mike came up with a plan?” I looked at her over my shoulder.

     For a moment, she said nothing to break the silence that had settled over us. Then, “We weren’t going to stand back and let you do this. If you were to be injected with the alpha serum, none of us would survive. And that includes Levi. We planned on tricking you into being sedated first, and then...we were going to leave.” She lifted her eyes to mine. “I’m sorry, but you left us with no other choice. We had to do something.”

     “And you knew about this?” I asked Armin, who nodded. “But you and Jean—They would activate the device in his spine. He’ll change, and there’s nothing we could do to stop it.”

     “I know, but that doesn’t matter now. Like I told you, I have an idea.” He walked over to the nightstand and swept aside all the stuff Hanji set out. He only left one thing behind, an agar plate.

     “Tell me what you’re doing,” Hanji demanded.

     Armin unscrewed the cap on the vial. “Jean said the microchip in here won’t activate unless the serum binds with Eren’s DNA, but who said he needs to be injected with the whole amount? There just needs to be enough to allow the microchip to activate. I’m thinking half will do. And maybe that way”—he looked up at me—“you’ll be strong enough to overpower the effects.”

     Without waiting for confirmation from Hanji, he poured the serum onto the plate. When the vial was empty, he picked up a pair of tweezers and prodded at the liquid until he located the miniature microchip.  

     “Dump half back in the vial.” Hanji grabbed a clean syringe. “We’ll inject the rest into Eren.”

     “Will it work?” I asked.

     “It should,” she said. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this myself. Here, lie down. I’ll feel more comfortable doing this with you restrained.”

     I didn’t give myself time to think this through. I laid down on the bed and hoped, against all odds, that this would work.

     While Hanji wiped a spot on my inner elbow with a damp cotton ball, she said, “Even with half of the serum, you’ll change, do you understand that? This has never been tested on a royal alpha before, so there is a possibility that you could learn to control yourself, but we can’t be sure either way. Do you still want to do this? There’s no going back once I’ve injected it into your bloodstream.”

     I thought of Levi in the other room, dying, and nodded. “Yes.”

     The rest came as flashes. Leather restraints closing around my wrists, my ankles, tightened enough to cut into skin. The cool feel of the needle sliding into a vein. A bright light trained on my face. Hushed voices speaking too fast to make sense of them. Then the alarming heat as the serum worked its way up my arm, toward my heart. Excruciating pain exploded in my chest and blotted everything else out. All I could feel was that heat, washing away my grasp on reality, making me lose focus...

     _No. Hold on. You’re stronger than this. You can beat this._

_Hold on._

_For Levi._

\---

 

_ Levi _

__

I shouldn’t have been awake. The last time I’d been conscious, I told Hanji and Mike to end it before Eren came to the lab. So why was I still alive? Did that mean...

     I didn’t allow that thought to finish. Even with the room spinning out of focus, I forced myself to sit up and slide my legs over the side of the bed. The tile was cold beneath my feet when I stood up on legs that struggled to keep me upright. The door looked so far away from here, but what if Eren was somewhere on the other side of it? What if they had let Jean inject him with the serum already? There would be nothing I could do to reverse it. All I could hope for was that I wasn’t too late and he was still himself.

     With slow, agonizing steps, I made my way over to the door. My arm, the one that’d been shot, was impossible to move. I grabbed the doorknob with my left hand and twisted it. The first person I saw was Farlan. He sat in a chair beside the room across from mine, asleep.

     “Farlan.”

     The sound of his name was quiet, a breath, but it was enough. His eyes flew open and locked on me leaning against the doorframe.

     “Levi,” he said, “you shouldn’t be up.”

     “Tell me where he is. Now.”

     He took a step closer to me, raising his hands up. “I can’t do that.”

     “Did he—Did they let him?”

     Several minutes passed in silence that gnawed at me. Then, he nodded, once.

     “No,” I said, my entire world shattering at once. “No. You take me to him, and you do it now. I need to see him. I have to see it for myself.” I stepped toward him, but my legs chose that moment to give out. Farlan caught me before I fell and steadied me.

     The shouts must have alerted the others that I was awake, because Hanji and Mike came running into the hallway a moment later. When they saw me next to Farlan, none of them said a word. They just stood there looking at me with wide eyes. They knew what they had let happen, and they knew it was too late to do anything about it, so they opted to stay silent.

     Cowards.

     “Why?” I sobbed, the word cracking in my throat. “Tell me why you let him do it! Don’t just stand there! Answer me!”

     “You need to lay down. You’ve been unconscious for a long time,” Hanji said, reaching out to steady me.

     I slapped her hand away. “Don’t you dare touch me. You owe me the truth, Hanji. Tell me where he is, or I will turn this place upside down looking for him.”

     She looked at Mike, who gave a soft nod of his head. She took a deep breath through her nose after that, and released it in one long breath before turning to face me. “I’ll take you to him, but there’s something you need to know before I do. We only injected him with half the serum. It was Armin’s idea, and I admit I thought it would work, but they must have made the serum stronger for him. It took effect right away. He’s not himself. If you approach him, he could lose control. You need to be ready for that.”

     I shook my head in disbelief, feeling tears prick at my eyes. “So he’s changed? Does he remember you? Any of you?”

     “It comes and goes,” Mike said. “He’s fighting it with everything he has, Levi, and there’s a chance he can return to normal. But it could go either way.”

     “Has he asked for me?”

     “When he comes around, you’re all he asks for.”

     “I want to see him,” I said. “Please. I don’t care if he’s changed. I don’t care if he hurts me. Just, please, let me see him.”

     I thought Hanji would come up with another excuse to delay this further, but she started walking down the hall without another word. After watching me struggle to go after her, Mike put his arm around my waist and helped me. I didn’t want to imagine what waited for me at the end of the hall. I’d had the displeasure of running into alphas who’d been injected and they were feral creatures, prowling around with the sole intention of killing their own kind. I wanted to believe that Eren wouldn’t turn out that way, but the serum was made specifically for alphas, to strip them of their humanity and leave them with their basic instincts turned up too high. Would he even know who I was? What would I do if he looked at me and there wasn’t a hint of recognition in his eyes?

     “I’m sorry,” Mike said when my scent, laced with fear and worry, became pungent in the air around us. “I know that will never be enough, but I am.”

     “How long has he been this way?”

     “An entire day.”

     “I’ve been out that long?” I asked.

     “Longer than that.”

     But now here I was, walking, breathing. That meant I was given the antidote, like it would do me any good in the end. It couldn’t fix the damage that had been done by the suppressants. Eren had sacrificed himself for what? To buy me a few more months in this hell? I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to yell and scream, but it was useless now. It was too late.

     “It’s a secure room,” Hanji told me when she stopped in front of a wide metal door, “but he could get out if he wanted to.”

     “Is he sedated?”

     She punched a four-digit code into an access control machine. The door slid open. “As much as he can be. You’ll understand what I mean when you see him.” She waved me forward.

     I stepped into the room, which was a decent size. There wasn’t much in here. It was clean and empty aside from some incubators lined up against the far wall. Then I saw him, strapped down to a medical cot that’d been wheeled to the center of the room, directly under the blaring fluorescent lights. He didn’t move as I approached him with careful steps. Only his eyes, which were charcoal black and cold— _and empty_ —followed me.

     “Eren,” I whispered, the word thick in my throat. His skin was paler than I’d ever seen it before, revealing a webwork of dark veins underneath. He looked possessed, just like the royal alpha Hanji had shown me in the book she kept in her office back at the sanctuary. This was the creature that could rule an army of alphas. “Eren, do you know who I am?”

     Nothing. He just stared at me with an expression of hunger.   

     Hanji stepped forward. “He won’t respond—”

     “Get out!” I whirled around on her, growing angrier by the second. How could they look at him and not be filled with guilt for what they had done? “Get out now. Leave me alone with him.”

     “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Mike said.

     “I don’t care what you think. Get out! Both of you!”

     When Mike attempted to grab me, I purposely whined, an omega call, a sound that roused Eren enough to make him step back at once.

     “He moved,” Hanji said, shocked. “Eren moved when he heard you. This could mean something.”

     “Just get out,” I told her.

     I could tell she wanted to reason with me, but curiosity won out in the end. She wanted to know if I could get Eren to interact with me.

     “We’ll be right outside if you need anything. And be careful,” she said.

     They left the room and shut the door behind them. When I was alone, with no one to see how much this hurt, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. I couldn’t look at Eren. I didn’t want to see those expressionless eyes that weren’t his. They weren’t silver. They weren’t green. They were black, depthless and ruthless. They were the eyes of someone I didn’t know.

     “How could you do this?” I asked, even when my words wouldn’t reach him. They would fall on deaf ears. “How could you think I would ever want this for you? For us? I never wanted to see you like this, Eren. I never wanted you to be something that you hate. But I won’t run away from you anymore. I won’t be a coward.” I pushed myself up to my feet. His eyes trained on me the second I was in his line of sight. “You’re my mate. Even like this, you’re the only one I’ll ever want, so do whatever you want to me. It’s okay.”

     I unstrapped his left hand first, then his right. The buckles fell away from his wrists, but he remained still.

     “Go ahead.” I picked up his hand and brought it to my face. His skin was burning hot against mine. “It’s all right.”

     Eren’s thumb brushed over my cheekbone. I closed my eyes, waiting.

     “Levi,” he said in a voice that was barely recognizable.

     My eyes darted up to his face. “Eren, do you know who I am?”

     “Mine.”

     I nodded, tears running down my cheeks. “That’s right. I’m yours.”

     He sat up, his movements too fast for me to see them. When he put his arm around my waist, I let him pick me up and guide me to his lap. We were face to face now. I forced myself to look at him straight on, into the dark eyes that weren’t his own.

     “You promised you would always come back to me,” I said. “Keep your promise. Don’t leave me. I can take it from anyone else, but not from you. Never from you.” I dropped my head onto his shoulder. His scent, which was still the same, washed over me and strengthened my resolve. “End this now.”

     “Mine,” he repeated, like he hadn’t heard anything I’d said. That’s when I felt his hand slide over my chest, grabbing hold of the front of the hospital gown I wore. He tore it off me with one swipe. Then he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to my neck, right over my scent gland.

     I knew what he wanted.

     “You want to mark me?”

     No answer, but I didn’t need one. I could smell the desperation in his scent, and this I was familiar with, because this was Eren. Although he wasn’t gentle, teeth digging in too deep, nails biting into my skin hard enough to bruise, I couldn’t bring myself to care. I matched his pace, ripping off his shirt, then his pants. With our clothes gone, nothing could stop us from coming together. The slick I created made it easy. He slid into me with one slow push of his hips and my mind went blank. Nothing else mattered but the feel of him sliding in and out of me.

     “Mark me.” I pressed my face to his neck. I expected him to recoil, but he groaned as I sought out his scent gland. “Please.”

     The feel of his teeth on my skin sent a shock up my spine that only intensified when he bit me in earnest. My world shifted as they sunk into my scent gland at the same time mine pierced his. It was too much. Too much... All the space between us being erased in that single moment. Bonded into one. Forever. It felt better than I’d expected it to. Every nerve ending in my body being stroked at once, and I knew he was feeling it too. I could hear him moaning as his rhythm faltered.

     We came together. The heat of his come filled me up and trickled down my thighs, but he never slowed down or softened. With each thrust of his hips, I became more sensitive, more stimulated.  

     “Eren, w-wait... Slow down.”

     He leaned back, his lips smeared with blood. “No,” he growled, and pulled me off him just to push me down on the cot. He was back inside of me before I had time to move. He buried his fingers into my injured arm to keep me steady and a sharp cry of pain erupted from my throat. At the sound, his movements slowed, and then stopped entirely.

     I looked up at him. He was staring down at me with an open look of horror. His eyes were scanning over my face, my neck. He shook his head when he saw the slash across my scent gland. There was something different in his expression. There was more clarity than there had been just a moment ago.

     “No. No. This isn’t—This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Levi... you need to get away from me. You need—” He went to move, but I held him close to me.

     “Eren? Is that you? Are you really here with me?”

     “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t be able to control myself for long. You need to get out. Now.”

     “No. I wanted this. I let you do this, do you understand? This wasn’t a mistake.”

     He groaned and I could see him struggling to keep himself in control. “You don’t understand. The things I want to do to you... I’ll hurt you. Please get out.”

     “Do you want to kill me?”

     “No,” he said earnestly.

     “You want to mate with me until you’re satisfied. That’s what you want, isn’t it? That’s normal when an alpha and omega mark each other. It’s okay.”

     “It’s not okay. I won’t be gentle. I _can’t_ be gentle. Not like this.” He pressed the heels of his palms to his forehead. His head snapped to the side in an unnatural way. “Ah, God, I can’t fight it. I can’t think.”

     I cupped his face. “Look at me.” When his eyes found mine, I said, “I won’t leave you again. You _can_ fight it. Maybe not now, but you can and will come back from this. Do you hear me?”   

     “I—” He clenched his teeth as his body began to twitch. But he kept his eyes on mine and said, “I’ll come back from this.”

     Even when his eyes lost lucidity and returned to the flat state they’d been in before, I believed he would come back.

     I believed he could overcome this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there's still so much left to cover, but not really? Ugh. The last story that made me feel at odds like this was _The Thug_ , and what a roller coaster ride that was. Ah, but I'm hoping I can do the ending I imagined justice. :')


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I would be able to update until I got home from my honeymoon (I got married yesterday, for those of you who don't know), but I managed to scrounge up some time before heading out to the airport. So, whoop, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. :)

I should have been afraid to be left alone with Eren for the night. He couldn’t hold on to his former self for long. The way he’d lost himself while mating proved that. Still, when I woke to him nuzzling my neck hours later, nothing but relief washed through me. Relieved that he hadn’t left while I’d been asleep. Relieved that, even though things had gone wrong, we were both alive, here, together. I would figure out a way to bring him back from this, no matter what it took. I wouldn’t give up. Not when it meant losing him.

     Careful, afraid to startle him, I lifted my hands and buried them in his hair. He groaned. “We should get cleaned up,” I said. I spoke to him the way I would have if none of this had happened, like we were back in his apartment at the sanctuary. I didn’t want to treat him any differently. He was still Eren. Still my alpha and mate.

     He didn’t respond, but he drew his head back to look at me. The black irises that met mine hit me anew. Fear crawled down my throat without my permission, choking me.

     _Not his eyes. Those aren’t his eyes!_

But they were now.

     “No,” he growled when I shrunk back. I jerked in his arms. “Don’t...be scared. I no”—he paused, looking both confused and frustrated—“hurt you.”

     I didn’t know much about the after effects of being injected with the alpha serum. All I knew was that it caused alphas to lose themselves to their instincts. The ones I’d come across never spoke either. They had no need to. They could convey their emotions through their scent, but Eren was trying to comfort me with words – even when that seemed impossible for him to do – because he knew that’s what I needed. He knew that’s what would get me to calm down.

     My Eren was still in there.

     Happy, and full of hope, I threw my arms around him. “I’m not scared of you. I just overreacted. I’m sorry.”

     These changes were a part of him now. Stuck in his royal form, the paleness of his skin was inevitable. The black eyes were entirely new, an alteration caused by the serum, but they were his. I would have to get accustomed to them. At least for the time being. I hoped one day his eye color would return to normal.

     “I need a shower. There should be a bathroom somewhere in the lab,” I said in hopes of bringing the conversation back to getting cleaned up. I shifted to lay on my back. Several bite marks on my inner thigh caught my attention. They were deep in color and the skin surrounding them was bruised. I tried to remember feeling pain while we’d mated, but whenever he had marked me, all I’d felt was satisfaction. I was sure Hanji would have a field day with this.

     Eren suddenly pressed his hand over one of the bites, palm hot on my skin. I kept a close watch on his face as he examined his teeth marks. He looked pleased.

     I toyed with the necklace I’d given him. Any excuse to touch him. “Do you like them?”

     No response. It was almost like expressing himself through words was too hard for him now. I could see how it upset him, being unable to piece his thoughts into sentences.

     “It’s okay,” I said. “We’ll work on it. For now, let’s find a shower.”      

     To show him how serious I was about this shower business, I sat up and flung my legs over the side of the cot. That’s as far as I got before he pulled me into his arms. As he stood up, wrapping the sheet we’d used around me, I couldn’t stop myself from hoping that maybe he would overcome this in no time. He seemed in complete control of himself. Or at least that’s what I thought until we stepped out into the hallway and a scent that didn’t belong to us filled the air.

     Eren’s arms tightened around me as his lips pulled back from his teeth. A sharp growl seeped out of him. The sound rumbled through his chest, deep and demanding.

     Jean, who was at the end of the hall, and the source of the smell, immediately showed signs of submission. He dropped his head and avoided direct eye contact. Any other alpha would have taken pride in dominating a fellow alpha, would have eased back to wound their ego, but Eren only grew angrier. His scent became fierce enough to overpower Jean’s. There was no mistaking it now. He was challenging him.   

     “Hey.” I tried to get Eren’s attention on me. “Don’t do this. He’s submitting to you already. There’s no need for you to take it this far.”

     Eren’s gaze remained on Jean as he spoke one word, “Traitor.”

     Jean winced. “I had to. You know that. I had to save Armin.”

     Eren knelt without looking at me. He sat me down on the floor. I tried to hold onto him, but he broke my hold.

     Jean must have seen that Eren had no intention of backing down from this, because he stopped submitting. He stared at Eren with defiance, ready to go down fighting. “Come on, then,” he said, even when he stunk of fear. “If you want a fight, you’ve got one.”

     Eren closed the distance between them in slow, unhurried steps. When he reached Jean, he pinned him up against the wall with his forearm. There was something vicious in his eyes when he did it, like he understood just how much strength he possessed. Like he knew Jean had no hopes of winning. Was he toying with him?

     I had to stop this before it could turn into something ugly.

     I pressed my back to the wall and pushed against it as I eased myself upright. My legs wobbled with the effort. Mating had taken a toll on my body. Not that I’d been in good shape before then. God, could I even walk in this state?

     “Eren, stop,” I said.

     His black eyes flicked in my direction. With his gaze fixed on mine, he brought his arm back and rammed it against Jean’s throat. Jean started hacking from the force of the blow, specks of blood bursting out of his mouth. My eyes widened in shock. That’s when I realized that Eren wouldn’t stop. He would kill Jean right in front of me. The only way I could think to draw him away was to leave. He would follow me, wouldn’t he? He had to follow me.

     _I can’t let him do this. This isn’t him._

     “Fine.” I shrugged. An attempt to appear uninterested. “Have fun with that. I’m going to shower.”

     I turned away and used all the strength I possessed to walk in the opposite direction. I’d made it to the end of the hall when I felt his hand wrap around my arm. I yanked it out of his grasp.

     “Le-vi,” he said, stretching out the two syllables.

     I couldn’t look at him. “Is that what you think I want? To watch you kill him?”

     “Traitor.”

     “He is. He betrayed us both, but what good would killing him do now? The damage is already done.” I turned around to face him. The anger that shot through me in that moment was tangible. I pounded my fists against his chest. In my weakened state, it had no impact on him, but the look that crossed his face told me I’d gotten the message across. “Why did you let them inject you? You would never do this! Can’t you see that it’s the serum causing you to behave this way? You’re supposed to be stronger than it. You’re supposed to prove to me that you can beat this.”

     Eren offered me no response. Of course he didn’t. He couldn’t even speak.

     I bit down on my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. “For a moment, back in the room, I thought this would be easy. I hoped it would be. But it won’t, will it? You would have killed Jean if I hadn’t left. Do you want them all dead? Hanji? Mike? Isabel? Farlan?” I looked up at him. “And if you do, how long will you be able to resist the urge?”

     He opened his mouth, but said nothing.

     What killed me was he’d become like this for me. To save me.

     “I can’t hate you,” I said. “I couldn’t hate you even when you were a nameless alpha on your knees in that dirty chamber. And I can’t hate you now. We’re”—I touched the side of my neck—“bonded.”

     Panic turned Eren’s scent into a plea. “You—” He cut himself off. Then he brought his hands up and knocked the heels of his palms against his head over and over.

     “Why are you doing that? Stop.”

     “Can’t think,” he said past clenched teeth. “Words—don’t come.”

     “I told you we’ll work on it.”

     He gestured to my neck. “You...regret it?”

     Was that the impression I’d given him? That I regretted letting him mark me? Apparently, I still couldn’t express myself correctly.

     “I’ve wanted this for a long time. I pictured it happening differently, I’ll admit that, but I don’t regret it, Eren. I’m just—I’m scared that you won’t be able to stay in control. I’m scared of what I’ll have to do if you can’t, because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hate you. No matter what you do.”

     Through the bond, I could sense how he desperately wanted to comfort me with words he didn’t have. But, just beyond that, I could sense the rage that had been building inside him since he’d been injected with the serum. It was something he was fighting to keep at bay, but would he be able to?

     Eren stepped up to me. He wrapped his arms around me and, without words, told me not to be scared.

     But I was. I was so scared.

     After all this, would I still lose him?

 

\---

 

“He did quite a number on you.” Hanji applied more ointment to a bite on my shoulder. It stung as she rubbed it in. “These must hurt more than you’re letting on. I don’t have a large selection of painkillers here, but I’m sure Mike would be willing to go on a supply run. It’ll be good to stock up on stuff while we can.”

     “Don’t bother sending him out for me,” I said, picking up the shirt she’d brought me. I slipped it on and tried not to wince in pain when my injured arm wouldn’t cooperate. “I don’t mind them.”

     She sighed while she screwed the cap back onto the ointment. She hadn’t spoken about Eren this entire time, or the fact that he had to be sedated before he would let anyone near me. The guilt she felt for helping him do this to himself was obvious in her silence, but I could also see how relieved she was that I was alive. That I’d survived the gunshot wound and the poison. A part of me resented her for that. Her loyalty to me had caused her judgement to waver. Now she’d put us all at risk.

     “How long are you planning to ignore the elephant in the room?” I looked at her. She knew exactly what I was referring to. “Are you going to pretend that Eren didn’t have to be shot like an animal with a tranquilizer gun just so you could get me out of the room?”

     “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

     “I want the truth,” I said. “I want your medical opinion on his condition. I want to know if you believe he can learn to control himself.”

     She stood up and started cleaning up the cotton balls she’d used to clean the bites. “You have every right to be angry with me for what I did. When Armin suggested we inject Eren with half of the serum, it was the excuse I needed to go through with it, because I wanted to save your life. I didn’t want to watch you die.” She paused. Her hands shook as she set down a medical tray on the counter. “The truth is I don’t know if Eren will be able to regain control over his instincts. Right now it’s hard for him to hold onto himself, and the only reason he’s doing that much is for you. He recognizes you as his mate. That’s why, given his condition, he still chose to bond mark you.”

     “So you don’t think it’s possible for him to go back to who he was?”

     She shook her head. “No, Levi, I don’t think that’s possible. But I do believe he retained some of his former self. I’m just not sure how long it will last.”

     I slipped off the cot and ignored the weakness of my limbs. She’d told me the one thing I never wanted to hear. “I’ll leave here with him.”

     “What?” She turned around to look at me, knocking over a container of cotton swabs with her elbow. They scattered on the floor. “You can’t do that.”

     “Yes, I can,” I said. “If I stay here, and he loses control, he’ll end up killing all of you. But he won’t hurt me.”

     “You don’t know that for sure. One day he could snap—”

     “I don’t care what he does to me. The right thing to do is to lead him away from here while I still have the chance.”

     “But—”

     “Isabel is pregnant, Hanji,” I interrupted. “Or have you forgotten about that?”

     “I—No, I haven’t forgotten.”

     I walked passed her. She would never understand how I couldn’t leave him. “Then let me do what’s right. And this time, don’t interfere.”

     I didn’t stick around to see the expression that last remark earned me. I wouldn’t stay here in the lab if it meant I’d be risking their lives. They deserved a chance to ride out this war until it ended. Isabel and Farlan deserved to see their child. I wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

     As I turned the corner, I spotted Armin standing out in front of the room Eren was being kept in. When he heard me, he scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hands, but I’d already seen the tears.

     “What do you want?” I asked, unable to keep the distaste out of my tone.

     “Oh, um, I was wondering if it would be all right to go in and see him.”

     “Why? Interested in seeing your handy work?”

     He flinched back. “I’m sorry.”

     “Your apology doesn’t change a thing. But at least now you’ll be able to live happily ever after with your mate. Hell, you guys did so much to keep each other alive, you deserve it.”

     “I never wanted things to come to this, Levi.”

     “And you think I did?” I snapped. “You think I wanted to be saved just to have Eren torn away from me? That I didn’t want a happy ending, too? The man in there.” I pointed to the door. “Is a far better man than Jean. Than you. Than me. And look where it got him.” I shook with the effort to keep myself from hurting him in earnest. “He didn’t deserve this, but that didn’t matter to you, so get the fuck out of my face.”

     Armin looked at me, mouth wobbling as he tried to keep his emotions in check. “I’m sorry.”

     “Yeah, I heard you the first time. It still doesn’t make a difference.” I pushed the door open. “By the way, if Eren tries to kill Jean again, I’ll let him.”

     I stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind me. I leaned up against it for support, shaking from the sudden burst of adrenaline. It was only when I heard movement coming from behind me that I realized Eren was no longer sedated. He’d been under for an hour, tops. Hanji had given him enough to put down a rhino for a day or two.

     He was getting stronger.

     Without turning around to face him, needing that extra time to pull myself together, I said, “We’re leaving. We should go tonight. In the dark, humans will have low visibility, and with your speed, we can reach another place to hole up in before morning. There’s no point putting it off. We’ll be better on our own.” Silence. Taking in a deep breath, I turned around and saw Eren standing by the cot in nothing but a pair of jeans Mike had brought in earlier. They were too big on him. They hung loose around his waist. “We’ll find you better clothes. Ones that actually fit you.”

     He glanced down at the jeans as though he didn’t understand what I meant, then back up at me. His eyes were so black and shiny, they were like onyx stones in water, beautiful in their own way. But what I would give to see his natural eyes again, the ones that held so much emotion at any given moment. The ones he possessed now were flat, distant. They made me feel so alone.

     “We’ll pack a bag with some essentials,” I said to chase away the silence. I couldn’t break down in front of him. “I don’t want to take much from the people here, so I’ll only bring enough food to last us for a few days. After that, we’ll have to find our own. I don’t think that will be much of a problem. I learned how to hunt when this whole thing went down, and Auruo still has that compact bow. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me taking it.”

     When I looked up again, Eren stood right in front of me—as fast and silent as a predator stalking its prey. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, still so gentle with me, despite everything that happened to him. It lifted a bit of the weight on my shoulders.

     I touched the mark over his scent gland _._ “I won’t leave you. We’ll be okay without them.”

     I didn’t know how we would fare out on our own. I believed Eren could take down any soldiers that tracked us, or anyone we stumbled upon, but I had no idea if he would or not. The serum was meant to turn him against his own kind, which showed with the people here. These hostile feelings brewing inside him weren’t supposed to be directed at humans. I couldn’t help but wonder what he would do if he saw me attack them. Or, better yet, what would he do when he saw an omega? A beta? Another alpha?

     He pressed his forehead to mine, grunting. He could sense my unease

     “You haven’t showered yet,” I said. I could smell my slick on him. “You should. You stink.”

     “Smell...like you.”

     “I know, and it’s gross.”

     “I like it.”

     “So, you can talk.”

     He sighed. “It hard to. But—I try.”

     I stood on tiptoes and kissed him. “That’s good enough for me. Now wait here. I’m going to tell everyone to go into the main room so you can come out, then you’re taking a shower.” Before I could move away, he grabbed my hand and kept me in place. “Don’t worry. I’m coming back. Just trust me and wait here.”

     It took him a while to let me go, but when he did, I stepped out of the room before he could change his mind. Armin wasn’t out in the hallway anymore. I thought about what I’d said to him, how awful it must have sounded coming from me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to regret it. He knew what the serum would do to Eren, yet he’d still suggested that Hanji inject him with half of it. If he hadn’t done that, Eren would be okay. I would’ve been gone, and Jean would’ve been gone too, but everyone else wouldn’t have had to face the danger of a royal alpha losing control of himself.

     When I entered the room Hanji and Mike were in, they froze in place. They were tiptoeing around me.

     “I need you guys to get away from the bathroom. Eren needs a shower.”

     Hanji opened her mouth. Shut it. Then said, “Okay.”

     I turned around to leave.

     “Levi,” Mike said. I stopped. Waited. “You don’t have to leave.”

     “Yes, I do. You know I do.”

     “No, _you_ don’t. We can figure out a way to drive Eren away. After that we’ll have—”

     “You think I want to leave him?” The words came out sounding sharp. A slap.

     Mike pressed on. “He’s not the same. Eventually, he’s going to hurt you. It would be better to get away from him while he still has some level of control over himself. If you feel like you owe him something because of what he did to save you, you need to understand that it was his choice. You didn’t force his hand. None of us did.”

     “You’re right,” I said. “That was his choice, and this is mine. I’m leaving here with him tonight. And it’s not because I think I owe him something. It’s because I don’t want to get separated from him again.”

     They both stayed quiet. I opened the door.

     “Wait.” Hanji stood up and pulled open a drawer on her desk. “Now that you’re here, let me draw some blood. I can resume working on a cure for the effects of the suppressants.”

     “It’s useless. You won’t even see me after today.”

     “Levi, please.”

      I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt. “Get on with it.”

     “Thank you,” she said.

     I watched her go about the mechanics of drawing blood, like I had so many times before. I knew she was doing this to ease her guilt in some way, but it wouldn’t do me any good. By the time she found a cure – if she found a cure – I would be long gone.

 

\---

 

I reclined against Eren in the tub. The water was starting to get cold now, but I didn’t want to get out just yet. I wasn’t ready to start packing.

     Comfortable, I let my eyes drift close. That’s when Eren twitched, hard, his whole body jerking in an unnatural way. I turned around and got onto my knees, water sloshing over the side of the tub. I started to inspect him.

     “Are you okay?” I asked.      

     “Hurts.”

     “What does?”

     “Staying—like this.”

     “What do you mean?”

     He groaned, head falling back and hitting the tile wall behind him. “This form.”

     “Staying in your royal form hurts?”

     He nodded. “Don’t like it.”

     “Can you shift back?”

     “No.”

     Images of the royal alpha in Hanji’s book kept flashing through my mind. I didn’t know how to help him. There was nothing I could do to make this stop.

     I leaned my head against his chest and breathed in his scent, which was tainted with pain.

     I was going to lose him.


	30. Chapter 30

I found packing easier to do when I kept my mind blank. If I didn’t think too hard about my current situation, things were manageable, and that’s how I needed them to be. Eren depended on me now. He couldn’t fend for himself the way he used to, so I couldn’t allow myself to crack under pressure. It fell on me to get us out of here in one piece, and only after we found shelter would I think about our next step. Until then, I would do what needed to be done.

     So, I packed. Since there weren’t many bags to choose from here at the lab, Isabel ended up giving me the duffel bag she’d brought with her. Now, with it opened at my feet, I stood alone in a pantry Hanji had filled with nonperishable food. I’d only take what Eren and I would need to make it out on our own for a week or two. Considering we wouldn’t have any appliances at our disposal, I filled half the duffel bag with beef jerky, canned fruits and vegetables, some granola bars, boxed juices, and a few packets of crackers. It wasn’t much, but it would get us by until we got our feet on the ground.

     While I rummaged through a box filled with power bars, Hanji came into the pantry with some other supplies. She knelt to put them in the duffel bag, then froze. “That’s all you’re taking with you? Those are dinner scraps.”

     “It’s enough,” I assured her.

     “You and I both know that isn’t true. Take some more. You’ll need it.”

     I rubbed at my temples. I could feel a headache coming on. The last thing I wanted to do was argue with her. “You and the others need it more than we do. It’s not that big of a deal. Eren and I will manage.”

     “Are you sure about that? I don’t think Eren will be of much help to you.”

     “Stop,” I said.

     She raised her hands up. “I’m just trying to level with you here. Eren’s fighting to stay in control—I can see that much for myself—but out there it will be a lot harder for him. You’re bound to come across others like us. What will you do if one of them is an omega?”

     “We’re bonded. He won’t be satisfied with any other omega. You know that.”

     “He won’t care about satisfaction. Instincts will summon a side of him he can’t resist. He’ll do the natural thing—”

     “That’s enough!” I snapped, not wanting to hear the rest. I picked up the duffel bag and slung the strap over my shoulder. “I have other things to do before it gets dark out. I don’t have time for this.”

     As I walked passed her, she took hold of my arm to keep me from leaving. “Levi, please reconsider staying here with us. We can find a way to make this work. With your arm the way it is, you won’t last long out there, and I’m sure soldiers will be tracking Eren. Will you be able to defend yourself if they decide to attack?”

     “If I stay, they’ll attack this place.”

     “What makes you think they won’t anyway?”

     I shook her hand off. “They won’t.”

     I walked out of the pantry and returned to the room I’d left Eren in. The moment I pushed open the door, he had his arms around me. He buried his face against my neck and sought out my scent gland with his teeth. He bit down until the bond mark reopened under his mouth. Like this, our bond deepened, and I could feel how much this comforted him. It comforted me too, all the worries of what would happen to us melting away.

     “I wasn’t gone that long,” I said, sensing how much being away from me agitated him. With the mark opened, I could sift through his thoughts, his emotions. Being connected to him like this intoxicated me. I never wanted it to end.

     He eased his head back. “Don’t trust Jean.”

     “I know, and you won’t have to worry about him soon. We’ll be leaving in an hour. I packed us some food and medical supplies. It should last us for a couple of weeks. The only thing we’ll have to worry about after we find a place to stay is finding some clothes.”

     There were plenty of other things we would have to worry about. Eren was too important to the people at Shiganshina. After all the trouble they went through to have him injected with the serum, they wouldn’t just forget about him. No, they probably had soldiers stationed around the lab who were out there waiting for him to make a move. And when he did, they would follow him. Would they let him wander around? Or would they attempt to direct his movements toward Shiganshina? We would have problems if that was their goal.

     I turned away from Eren and hoped he wouldn’t pick up on how anxious I was. With my back to him, I set the duffel bag down on the cot. I still had to pack some toiletries. I’d forgotten all about them since Hanji distracted me.  

     “There are some things I forgot to grab,” I said. “Wait here for me.”

     He growled, irritated.

     “Stop that.” I looked at him over my shoulder. “You’re not an animal.”

     The growl deepened, eyes burning with defiance. Did letting me out of his sight make him this uneasy? Or was something else causing this reaction?

     I said, “I’ll only be gone for a few minutes. You have nothing to worry about. I can take care of myself.”

     He came toward me, silent, intent, and I had no idea what he planned on doing. I braced myself for the worst, but then he walked passed me and flung the door open. Jean stood in the hall, not at all surprised that he’d been discovered.

     “You must have a death wish,” I muttered.

     Jean inched back as Eren came closer. “I don’t, but I need to talk to you.”

     “There’s nothing for us to talk about.”

     “Listen, I know you don’t trust me after what I did, but there are things I know that could help us,” he said. “For instance, I know there’s a group of soldiers assigned to bring Eren in once he’s been injected successfully. They won’t approach him. Even though the serum is intended to make Eren hostile toward his own kind, and not humans, they don’t know how it will work on him since he’s a royal alpha. I think they’ll be surprised to see that he has any emotions left at all.”

     I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. “Why are you telling me this?”

     “Because there’s a reason they spared your life. They’ll use you to lure him to Shiganshina. Right now, if he stays here, there’s a chance their plan won’t work. And trust me, you don’t want it to work.”

     I stepped in front of Eren to keep him at bay. He snapped his teeth, but I paid no mind. “They won’t wait around forever,” I started. “If we stay here, they’ll launch an attack to capture me.”

     Jean looked from me to Eren. “There are three alphas here. We can hold them back.”

     “I’m not sure Eren will harm humans.”

     “I think he’ll do anything you tell him to.”

     With a shake of my head, I said, “It’s not that easy. Earlier, when he challenged you, I asked him to stop. He didn’t listen to me then, so what makes you think he’ll listen to me about any soldiers who force their way in here?”

     “Because they’ll be after you.”

     I wasn’t sure if Eren would come to my defense if a human threatened me. The serum manipulated alphas into believing humans weren’t the enemy. So, if he saw a soldier restrain me, would he think they were merely trying to help? Or would his instincts to protect his mate force him to act? Everyone’s lives depended on the answer to both of those questions, and since I didn’t have them, I couldn’t risk staying here. But leaving also posed a threat. In my condition, I would make an easy target to capture.

     I didn’t know what to do anymore.    

     “If they find out you’re helping us,” I said, “they’re going to activate that device in your spine. Why are you risking that?”

     Jean turned his head to the side. “Because they’re going to do it anyway. I’m of no use to them anymore. Once they have Eren, they’ll discard all their little toys.”

     “They won’t get him.”

     His eyes flicked up to the alpha standing behind me. “If they do, we’re all as good as dead.”

     Eren stepped around me. When I put my hand on his arm, concerned he would resort to violence, he assured me through the bond that he had no intention of hurting Jean. Passed that, I could feel how much he wanted to talk to him. There was unfinished business between them.

     “You owe me,” Eren said, each word coming out slow, deliberate. He was making sure Jean would understand him. “I”—he paused, bunched his hands into fists as he thought of the words he needed to say—“know something is wrong with me. Can feel it. Getting harder...to control it.” He looked at me before he returned his gaze to Jean and repeated, “You owe me.”

     Jean tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Yeah, I owe you, so tell me what you want.”

     “If something...happen to me. Take care of Levi.”

     “No,” I said, grabbing his arm so I could turn him around to face me. I searched his eyes and was stunned to see them filled with pain. “Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to be fine.”

     He cupped the side of my face. “I’m changing. Can’t be the Eren you want.”

     “You _are_ the Eren I want. You’re the only thing that I want. It doesn’t matter if you change. You’re my mate.”

     He touched the mark on my neck and it was almost like I could hear the words he so desperately wanted to say. The words that kept evading him, no matter how many times he tried to conjure them up. But, through our bond, his message came through loud and clear. I almost wish it didn’t.

     _I am dangerous, a threat to you and the others. I won’t be able to maintain this level of control for much longer. I will become the monster they intended me to be, but before that happens, I’ll leave to keep you safe. I won’t let myself hurt you. Do you understand what needs to be done? What I must do?_

I shook my head, because I understood, and I didn’t accept it. He couldn’t be losing himself to this. He said he would come back. If he weren’t stuck in his royal form, he stood a chance at regaining control of himself. There had to be a way to make him shift back.        

     “I’ll follow you,” I told him, both in words and through the bond. The intensity of my desperation rippled within me until I was shaking with it. I knew he felt it too. “No matter where you go, or what you become, I’ll follow you.” He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off before he could say anything. “I won’t lose you to this. I’ll chase you all around the world, if that’s what it comes down to, but I won’t let you go. You are the only thing that matters to me. The only thing worth fighting for.”

     His eyes pinched shut as though he were in pain. Then he turned back to Jean, who said, “I’ll keep him safe for as long as I can. You have my word.”

     “Thank you,” Eren said. The words came out clear, in a voice I recognized all too well. Eren, the one I’d fallen in love with, was breaking through the surface to make one final request while he still could, before the serum erased him completely.

     It didn’t matter what agreement they came to. I wouldn’t let him face this alone. There had to be a way to help him.

     “So, you’ll stay?” Jean asked.

     I looked at him. “No. We’re not staying here.”

     “Are you kidding me? After everything I told you—”

     “That’s exactly why we’re leaving. You say there are three alphas here to fend off an attack, but you and Eren are unreliable. We aren’t sure if Eren will defend us against humans, and if the soldiers notice you fighting, all they would have to do to stop you is activate the device. That only leaves Farlan. That’s not enough.”   

     Jean gritted his teeth. “So, what, you’re just going to head out there and hope for the best? I’ll be surprised if you last a day.”

     “I know what I’m doing.”

     “I don’t think you do. I think taking Eren away from here is your last resort at keeping him by your side. You know he won’t leave you alone out there.” He stepped closer to me, making himself appear larger. He was attempting to frighten me into submission, but it wouldn’t work. I feared no alpha. “You can’t change him back to who he was before this. You must realize by now how hard it is for him to fight the symptoms of the serum. Are you even paying attention to his scent?” He scoffed when I offered him no response. “You’re ignoring it, aren’t you? But that won’t make it go away. He’s in pain, and sooner or later, it’s going to be too much for him.”

     Before I could do anything, Eren stepped between us. He’d had enough of Jean.

     “Leave,” Eren demanded.

     “Fine,” Jean spat out, “but I can’t protect your mate if he leaves this place.”

     I grabbed Eren’s hand and led him back into the room. I shut the door behind us before I walked over to the cot to grab the duffel bag. “Nothing has changed,” I said while I zipped up the bag. “We’re leaving as planned.”

     As I shoved a flashlight into one of the front pockets, anger making my movements jerky, he put his hand on my shoulder to steady me. I stopped, eyes closing as the reality of what was happening to him sank in. What Jean said was true. Eren was fighting the serum with everything he had, but soon it wouldn’t be enough. He would change. But before then, I’d make sure the people who did this to him got what they deserved. I would make sure they’d regret leaving me alive.

     “Humans are our enemy. They’re the ones that did this to you,” I said, my scent turning into something menacing. “When they come for us, you need to kill them. You don’t stop until they’re all dead.” I turned around. Eren looked at me with clear, focused eyes. He was still holding on. “Then we go to Shiganshina and we kill them all.”

 

\---

 

“Are you seriously planning to go through with this?” Mike asked as he watched me load the handgun Erd had given me. We were in the cave just outside the lab. Auruo had parked the jeep in here per my request. “If you go to Shiganshina, you could die. In fact, I’m sure that’s how this will end. You’re outnumbered.”

     “I don’t care.”

     He grabbed my arm and forced me to look at him head on. “It doesn’t have to be this way. You’re acting on impulse.”

     “It does have to be this way.” I yanked my arm out of his grasp. “Eren’s going to lose control of himself. You said so yourself. And if I’m going to lose him to this, I’m going to make sure the people responsible pay with their lives. Nothing else matters.”

     “Eren won’t let you go through with this.”

     “Eren left me with no other choice!” I retorted. “You and Hanji should have respected my decision when I asked you to end things, but you couldn’t go through with it, even when you knew this is how things would turn out. So now you have to deal with the consequences of the choice you made.” I slid the handgun into my waistband. There weren’t enough bullets in the clip to do much damage to a group of soldiers. I would have to use it as a last resort. “From here on out, I don’t care what happens to me. I’m going to make sure they all die for taking him away from me.”

     While I loaded the duffel bag and compact bow into the back of the jeep, Auruo came out of the lab. He had a rifle strap slung over his shoulder. “Can you make room for one more?” he asked.

     “You’re not coming,” I told him without sparing him a glance. “This isn’t your fight.”

     Instead of looking offended at my remark, he grinned. “It’s _our_ fight, Captain, and I’m not going for you. I just need a ride.”

     “Why do you want to come?”

     “They killed Petra. I owe them one for that.”

     Erd stepped out of the lab next. He’d heard the last bit of our conversation. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

     “You too?” I said, exasperated.

     “We’re done running. They burned down our home and killed many innocent people who were defenseless. It’s time we took the fight to them. We’re with you on this whether you approve or not.”

     I stared at them. “I can’t guarantee your safety. You should know by now that this is a suicide mission. The likelihood of making it out of this alive is slim to none.”

     Auruo nodded once, the grin long gone. “We know.”

     “Well, if you’re coming, get in the car. We don’t have a lot of time to work with, so we’re leaving now.”

     Without waiting to see if they’d listen, I strode back into the lab, straight passed Hanji. She followed behind me, but I ignored everything she said. I wouldn’t let her talk me out of this. My mind was set.

     “Is Eren still in the room?” I asked, talking over her.

     She picked up her pace so she could block my way. She ignored the scowl on my face. “Levi, would you listen to me?”

     “I don’t have time to stand around and listen to you prattle on about unimportant things. Nothing you say will make me change my mind.”

     “Really? So it’s of no interest to you that the bond mark healed you?” I stopped despite myself. Knowing she had my attention, she continued, “I ran some tests on the blood I took from you. All the damage caused by the suppressants, it’s been repaired. I’ve never seen this type of thing happen before. It must be unique to royal alphas.” She came to stand in front of me. “But do you realize what this means? You’re not dying. You can live a long, healthy life.”

     “What does that matter?”

     She grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me. “What do you mean ‘what does that matter?’ It matters! You shouldn’t throw your life away. You can learn to live without Eren.”

     “I don’t want to.”

     “Because he’s your destined mate,” she said with a sigh. “The bond between you two is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and now that you’ve marked each other, it’s even stronger.”

     I stepped around her. “Then you understand why I have to do this.”

     “To an extent, I do understand, but that doesn’t mean I agree with what you’re doing.”

     “I never asked you to agree.”

     With that, I followed the hall to the room Eren was in. I pushed open the door and saw him lying on the cot in the dark. This alarmed me, which must have carried through my scent, because he said in a rush, “Fine. I’m fine.” The strain in his voice told me otherwise.

     “Are you okay to leave? Everything’s ready to go.”

     He sat up and groaned in pain as a twitch caused his back to arch at an unnatural angle. It took him a moment to recover, breath becoming labored, then he nodded.

     I went over to the cot and came to stand between his legs. I dropped my head onto his shoulder, took in his scent and noticed the way it was changing into something unfamiliar. “I know you’re not okay,” I whispered. “I can feel how much pain you’re in, but I can’t stop it and that’s killing me. All I can do is kill the people responsible for this. And I will. I’ll kill all of them, but I need your help to do it. So please hold on a little longer. Just a little longer.”

     He grabbed my chin and tilted my head back so he could look at me. He brushed my tears away and said, “I’ll hold on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is _right there_ , but I'm such a slow writer that it's taking me so long to reach it. *screams with the fury of 10,000 Eren Jaeger's*
> 
> But thank you so much for all the congratulation comments last chapter. I read through all of them. :)


	31. Chapter 31

I stood on the mountaintop that housed the lab and wished the bitter wind would somehow numb more than just my skin. I’d endured my fair share of pain throughout my life – more than I ever deserved – but nothing compared to this. I wanted to subdue all emotions and feel nothing. The anger that blinded me now, that pushed me forward, only served as something to hide behind. Like always, I was too much of a coward to face my fears. But how could I ever face losing Eren? The one person I would do anything for? If I could exchange my life for his, I would do so without a second thought. Kind hearted, sincere, loyal, and fiercely beautiful, Eren deserved to live.

     My alpha, the man who taught me how to accept what I am through patience and understanding, expected me to live on without him. The thought alone made a lump form in my throat.

     _You forgot to tell me how, Eren. How am I supposed to go on without you when it already feels like I’m breaking?_

A flash of movement interrupted my musing. I turned towards it, half expecting it to be Hanji, but I saw nothing in the darkness. Then someone wrapped their hand around mine. Recognizing Eren’s touch as though it were my own, I shut my eyes and savored the feel of his skin. His fingertips trailed up my arm, raising goosebumps until they came to rest under my chin. He angled my head back.

     _Keep your eyes closed._ The words were so clear, voice rich and familiar, but I knew he hadn’t spoken them aloud. Our bond was strengthening, even when his mind grew more distant.

     I nodded in agreement and then he kissed me, the barest brush of his lips against mine. I wanted to stay like this with him, but we didn’t have a lot of time to spare. We needed to leave soon.  

     _When the pain becomes too much_ , he said in a broken voice that pierced my heart, _close your eyes like you’re doing now and imagine a place where this war never existed, a place where I am right there by your side_. _Stay there until you feel you’re ready to face the world without me. I know you can move passed this. You’re strong. You always have been._

     I shook my head, confused. “Eren, what are you talking about? We’re in this together, until the very end.”

     _I love you, my beautiful omega, and that’s why I cannot let you die for me. With this last shred of conscious that I have, I will save you from yourself and fulfill your last wish. I’ll kill the people at Shiganshina. I’ll stop this war. And I will do it all for you._

“No, don’t tell me—You’re planning on leaving me here? You can’t.” It was all clicking into place now. I could feel his intentions through our bond. “Don’t do this,” I pleaded, but he pulled his hand away and left my skin cold.

     _Remember what I told you,_ he said. _Imagine a place where I am right there by your side._ Silence, then, _Goodbye, Levi. I’m so sorry._

“No!” I whirled around, but it was too late. He was nowhere in sight. “Eren! Eren, come back! Don’t you dare leave me here like this!” I fell to my knees, hearing a high-pitched ringing in my ears. Sobs racked my body as I stumbled to my feet. “Don’t leave me here. Not like this. Please... Come back...”

     But he was already gone. He’d left without giving me the chance to say goodbye, and now I would never see him again.

 

\---

 

_ Eren _

 

It would be too easy to give into the corruption the serum had caused. If I stopped resisting it, the pain would disappear, and the voice in my head would fall silent, but it’s the voice that I clung onto. It was Levi’s when he asked me to hold on a little longer; to help him kill the people responsible for this. While I still had the capacity to think for myself, I intended to see this through for him. I would free him of this war. Free him of me. I just needed to withstand the pull to let go of everything that made me who I am. At least until this was over.

     I ran through the desert, fast, silent, seeing and hearing everything around me, but only registering the call of my instincts. Sooner or later, they would overcome me, and I would lose sight of myself. That’s why I had to work fast. I had no time to dawdle.

     A sudden flare of pain erupted in my chest and forced me to slow my pace. Levi. He was using the bond to call me back. I could feel his panic, his desperation. It tore through me until it was all I could feel. I let it serve as a reminder of who I was out here fighting for.

     _Stay strong_ , I urged him, urged myself, hoping the message would reach him. _Don’t come after me._

     I knew I had pursuers. The steady rumble of an engine wasn’t hard to miss with my keen sense of hearing, but they were keeping a safe distance behind me. I wouldn’t bother with them for now. My main goal was to get to Shiganshina as fast as I could. I’d take care of them there.

     Another throbbing ache rippled throughout my chest, this one stronger than the last. I smiled despite the discomfort. Levi wasn’t letting his pain cripple him. It was morphing into anger, into something he could use. The emotion grounded me to the here and now.

     _You’ll be okay without me. You never needed an alpha to survive in this world. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I could see you were more than just your instincts. You defied your nature and didn’t allow it to control you. That’s why I know you’ll make it through this. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for._

There was no way for me to be sure if my words were reaching him through the bond, but more than anything, I wanted him to know how I felt. If only I had a little more time, I would have told him all this face to face. I would have held him until there was no doubt in his mind that I loved him for more than what he was. It didn’t matter that I was an alpha, that he was an omega. Even if we weren’t destined mates – if we’d met each other as humans – he would be the only one I’d want.

     _Levi... I can’t tell you how sorry I am._

The revving of an engine stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t the truck that was behind me earlier. No, this one was louder, closer—a bigger vehicle than before. Could more soldiers have been ordered to wait at different checkpoints? To make sure I didn’t stray off the path that would lead me to Shiganshina? Well, they didn’t have to worry. That’s where I was heading.

     I started running again, dodging brittle bushes and barrel cacti that filled the air with their overly sweet aroma. The one good thing on my side was the fact that the soldiers following me couldn’t leave the dirt road. The tires on their vehicles wouldn’t be able to withstand the rough terrain here. At least not fast enough to keep up with me. Even if they managed to catch up somehow, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. It would be easy to take them out.

     Something snagged on my jeans, yanking my leg back and tearing the material. I glanced down in irritation and noticed several tears, but my skin was unmarred. In this form, nothing could penetrate my skin. The only person who could hurt me when I was like this was Levi.

     Just as I looked back up, something ran at me from the side, knocking me down. I skidded through the dirt and landed on my side. Before I could register what had happened, I was up on my feet. And that’s when I saw him.

     “Jean,” I said.

     He was hunched over, breathing raggedly. “Fuck. Do you know how hard it was to catch up to you?”

     “How...”

     “I noticed you talking to Levi outside the cave. I knew what you were planning to do, so I ran ahead of you. Still, you outran me in no time, but I was able to follow your scent.” He straightened up. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here. Well, see for yourself.” He turned around and lifted the back of his T-shirt to expose his back. The device embedded in his spine was now blinking red. He looked at me over his shoulder with a sad smile on his face. “It started going off about three hours ago. That means I have about twenty-one hours left before the serum is injected into my veins. You know, give or take.”

     I searched his eyes and saw the pain there, but I couldn’t comfort him. He knew what this meant, and so did I. There was no helping him now.

     He swallowed. “I wanted to go out fighting. I couldn’t stay back there knowing I was going to turn. I would hurt Armin and I—I couldn’t...”

     “I understand,” I forced out. Speech was still hard to wrap my head around. The way I spoke now sounded choppy and slow.

     “I never wore it.” He tapped on a silver band around his ring finger. “Armin gave it to me after we marked each other. It was a promise, that we would make it out of this together.” He laughed, even as tears built up in his eyes. “So much for that, huh? We’re both screwed.”

     I put my hand on his shoulder. “I... sorry.”

     “Yeah, me too. But I plan on killing enough soldiers at Shiganshina to somewhat dull this pain.” He looked at me. “I hate them as much as you do. I want to help stop them, so will you let me come with you?”

     I nodded.

     “Good,” he said. “Let’s go. We’re not too far from our destination.”

     As we began to run, falling into stride with one another, I couldn’t help but wonder how this would change things. The soldiers following me were bound to see Jean sooner or later. Would they know the serum hadn’t quite taken affect yet? Or would they believe it hadn’t worked at all? And if that were the case, would they act before we could reach Shiganshina?

     Normally an injected alpha would challenge a rival the instant they were confronted with one. The fact that I was running alongside Jean was sure to raise suspicions. Not that I didn’t have an urge to threaten him. There was a primal need to make him submit, to show him that he was inferior and held no rank over me. It took everything I had not to succumb to the impulse. I knew it was the serum twisting my thoughts around.

     “Try not to kill me before we get there,” Jean said, as though he’d heard my thoughts. “And if you could tone down your scent, I would fucking appreciate it. I won’t be able to stick around if you keep this up.”

     “Sorry. It... hard to stay in control.”

     He sighed. “How badly does it hurt to resist the effects of the serum?”

     “Not too bad.”

     “You’re an awful liar.”

     I ignored him and turned my attention to our surroundings. From here I could make out headlights in the distance. The soldiers were surrounding me now, ready to intervene if I should change directions. Even though they couldn’t see me from here, they knew exactly where I was thanks to the tracking device that’d been in the serum. I couldn’t throw them off my trail no matter how fast I ran.

     “Look,” Jean said, jerking his chin to the right. “There are more trucks. They must be calling in back up. Can’t say that I blame them. You’re kind of scary.” I glared at him and he visibly shivered. “Don’t do that. Your eyes are freaky.”

     I turned my head. I had no idea how I appeared now, but it must have been unpleasant. Whenever I’d looked at Levi back at the lab, he shrank away and it took him a moment to collect himself. The only difference visible to me was the color of my skin—translucent, milky-white. In the moonlight, it almost seemed opalescent, reflecting back shades of blue and purple at different angles.   

     After I repeated the words in my head several times, familiarizing myself with them again, I asked, “How do they look?”

     “Your eyes? They’re black. Not normal black, either.”

     Black? No wonder Levi could never hold my gaze for long. He was looking into the eyes of a stranger.

     Jean suddenly smacked my arm a couple of times, and then pointed ahead. “I don’t like the looks of that.”

     I followed his gaze and saw that the trucks were turning off the dirt road and coming our way.

     “Those are all terrain vehicles,” Jean said. “If we don’t circle around them, they’ll be able to reach us in no time.”

     But why? Wasn’t their goal to get me to Shiganshina? Had they spotted Jean?

     Whatever the reason, I couldn’t let them divert me from the path I was on, so I signaled for Jean to follow me before I turned toward the dirt road. Those vehicles of theirs may be able to combat this terrain, but they couldn’t do it at a speed that I wouldn’t be able to outrun.

     “Try to keep up,” I said, hating the sound of my voice. It sounded unnatural, more other than human.

     “Shit,” Jean muttered to himself. “Okay, fine, just go. I’ll catch up to you if I fall back.”

     I went on, trying to ignore how my body and mind were going numb with rage. It wouldn’t be long before I was gone completely. Would I be able to finish this after all?

     I had to. For Levi.

 

\---

 

_ Levi _

 

No.

     I wouldn’t accept it.

     How could Eren do something like this? What did he take me for? I had no intention of letting him face this alone. We had a plan. We were supposed to be in this together. Did he honestly think I’d stay back and do nothing while he went out there and risked it all? He should have known me better than that. I wasn’t some damsel that needed rescuing. I had enough fight left in me to be by his side throughout this all. This was just a minor setback.

     Determined to make up for lost time, I scrambled onto my feet and ran inside the cave to find both Auruo and Erd waiting for me by the Jeep. “If you’re still going, get in,” I demanded, rounding the hood to get to the driver’s side. I yanked open the door. “Now.”

     “What about Eren?” Erd asked as his eyes wandered over my head.

     “He left.” That’s all I told them before I slid into the front seat and started the engine. They hopped into the back without asking any more questions. They knew I wouldn’t wait around for them. It didn’t take a genius to understand what had happened.

     As I sped out of the cave, Auruo said, “Did Jean go with him?”

     “No. Why?”

     “We saw him go out there after you guys. He said he needed to talk to Eren, but you’re the only one who came back.”

     “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “If he followed Eren, that’s his problem, not ours.”

     We lapsed into silence, and I welcomed it with open arms. In my mind, I tried to calculate how far Eren could be by now. He was a lot faster than other alphas, but since he was resisting the serum, he wasn’t in the best physical condition. That had to have slowed him down some. At least that’s what I hoped for. I didn’t want to think about not reaching him on time.

     “If there were any soldiers around here, they most likely followed Eren out of here,” Erd said, “but we’ll run into them soon enough. We are chasing the same person, after all.”

     I looked at him in the rearview mirror and his eyes locked onto mine. “We’ll worry about that when the time comes.”

     “Levi, if we encounter a large group of soldiers on the road, there’s no way we’ll make it to Shiganshina. They’ll take us out right then and there. Do you really want to kill the people responsible for this? Or are you just looking to die alongside Eren?”

     I flinched as his words cut deep and made me second guess myself. My goal hadn’t changed. I still wanted to put an end to the people who had caused this war, but I couldn’t do it alone. Without Eren’s help, breaching Shiganshina’s walls would be downright impossible. We needed him. What was the point of putting our lives on the line if we couldn’t even make it inside enemy territory?

     _You don’t need to put your life on the line. Eren will do this on his own. That’s why he left you at the lab._

I punched the steering wheel with enough force to cut open my knuckles. I cursed my thoughts, but it was true, wasn’t it? There was no need for me to go after him. He wanted me to stay behind so I wouldn’t get hurt.

     “I’ll drop you off,” I said. “You two shouldn’t come along when I can’t even get you to Shiganshina.”

     “You shouldn’t go, either. Why are you doing—”

     “I’ll never see him again after this. I want to stand by his side one last time, even if that means I won’t make it back.”

     Auruo leaned in between the front seats. “Eren left so you wouldn’t put yourself in harm’s way. He did all this to save your life. If you rush into this, his sacrifice will have been for nothing.”

     I clenched my hands until they hurt, but that didn’t dull the ache in my chest. It was too painful to imagine my life without him. Why had we found each other just to be torn apart over and over?

     A loud crack snapped me back to reality. For a moment, none of us said anything. Then Auruo spat out, “That was a gunshot.” He twisted around in the seat so he could look out the back window. “Fuck. We’re being followed. There must have still been soldiers watching over the lab.”

     I slammed my foot down on the gas and swerved to the right as the Jeep jerked forward in response. When another gunshot went off – too loud, too close – it was followed by a deafening pop that left my ears ringing. One of our back tires had been hit. I was losing control of the vehicle faster than my mind could take in what was happening. The steering wheel slipped out of my grasp and the front end of the Jeep dipped forward. We were going to crash.

     Everything that happened after that was a blur, nothing but white noise and flashes of color. Auruo and Erd were shouting at me, but I couldn’t make out a word they were saying. All I could focus on was an image in my head, a memory of when I’d first seen Eren smile at me. I remember how it brightened his entire face. Now I would never see that smile again. I would never hear his voice. I was going to die right here.

     _I’m sorry, Eren. Your last attempt to save me was done in vain. I just wanted to see you..._

     The Jeep rolled, and for one second, I felt as light as a feather. Then the sound of grinding metal erupted in my ears and something heavy crashed into my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. Pain made my mind go numb in an instant, and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, darkness pulled me under.

     I felt nothing at all.      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I have nothing to say aside from me telling you guys I updated the number of chapters that will be in this fic. Only two more to go. 
> 
> Stick with me, okay? We'll get through this together! T^T


	32. Chapter 32

_ Eren _

 

One second I was running, determined to evade the incoming soldiers, the next I was stumbling to the ground as my mind splintered like a bone snapped in two. Bolts of agony ruptured inside my chest and sparked a fire in my lungs that made breathing almost impossible. The pain, which was a ghost of Levi’s, reflected onto me through our bond, left me immobile. All my senses were linked to his. The one experiencing this anguish firsthand was him. Something had happened. Something terrible.  

     I tried to stand, but another lick of pain forced me onto my knees. There was something wrong with his ribs. Several seemed to be broken. They were pushed inwards and shifting whenever he moved. Had one of them punctured his lung? Is that why he was having difficulty breathing?

     “Levi,” I said in a hoarse voice filled with grief and desperation. I had to go back for him. He needed me.          

     Just as soon as I righted myself, Jean stopped beside me and shouted, “What are you doing? They’re coming. We have to get moving.” I paid him no mind, stepping around him to head in the same direction we came from. He snatched me by the wrist, and I growled at him. “That’s the wrong way! Where are you going?”

     “Back.” I pulled my arm out of his grasp. “Levi needs me.”

     “No, Levi is back at the lab, safe and sound. _I_ need you to focus on getting us out of here. If you haven’t noticed, those vehicles are right on our asses. So unless you want to fight your way through them, I suggest hurrying.”

     There was no time to explain to him why I couldn’t continue as planned. With every passing second, Levi’s strength diminished, and nothing was more important than getting back to him. But even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew I wouldn’t make it before the end. The connection between us was already faint. I could barely feel him anymore. Then the irrevocable truth hit me.

     Levi was dying.

     His essence was fading from the bond mark and leaving me hollow inside—scraped clean of anything that mattered. How could I fight the serum now? Without him here to guide me, to keep me on the correct path, this anger threatened to consume me. And if he was gone, I wanted it to.

     “Eren!” Jean’s sharp voice broke through the haze I’d been in. As soon as my eyes focused on him, he put his hands on my shoulders and shook me. “Pull yourself together. They’re coming.”

     “Levi,” I repeated.

     “Levi is fine. If we don’t get moving, we’re the ones that aren’t going to be.”

     I went to explain when a burst of blinding white light flooded my mind. For one moment, it felt like staring straight into the sun. My entire world went blank. No sound. No taste. No feeling. Then everything went black, and I snapped back into myself all at once. But...

     “Can’t feel...Levi,” I said in a panic. Our connection had been severed. That could only mean one thing.

     Jean pointed ahead. “You’re about to feel plenty.”

     His voice blended in with the background noise as I focused all my attention inward. I scoured through the bond for even a hint of Levi, desperate for something, anything that would indicate he was still holding on, but there wasn’t a trace of him left. In the back of my mind, I knew what that meant—what it _had_ to mean. For a bond between mates to be broken, one of them had to die, but I wouldn’t accept that. Levi had to be alive. I just had to find my way back to him. Then I’d fix this.

     I turned to Jean and followed his gaze. The vehicles were almost to us now. He wouldn’t be able to outrun them. Not like I could.

     “Just go,” Jean said without looking at me. “It’s not like it makes a difference. By tomorrow, none of this will even matter to me anymore.”

     The pain in his voice gave away his lie. Going with me to Shiganshina made all the difference to him. He saw it as a way to redeem himself. He believed that if he could help stop this war, Armin would forgive him for what he’d done to me. In another life, I would’ve taken his feelings into consideration, but now, with my fate twisting out from under me, I didn’t. The more I thought about it, the more I realized we wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for him. He was responsible for me becoming this way. He was the reason Levi was...

     I cut the thought short, but the truth burned a place in both my heart and mind. The control I’d held onto was slipping out of my grasp.

     Jean sighed as my feral scent wafted toward him. “If you want to kill me, go ahead. I won’t try to stop you.”

     His words struck me as a taunt, which fueled my rage, but what good would killing him do? It wouldn’t change anything. Even if I went and found Levi, I couldn’t bring him back. This emptiness whirled inside me, vicious and destructive, abolishing everything I valued most. I tried to reign it in, but it gained speed whenever I thought of Levi. At this rate, I wouldn’t make it to Shiganshina before the serum corroded my mind, my intentions.

     “If Armin were dead,” I began, wincing as my body jerked out of my control, “would you know?”

     “Yes,” Jean said right away. “My bond with Armin may not be as strong as yours and Levi’s, but he’s a part of me. I’d know.”

     I shut my eyes and pressed my hand to the mark on my neck. Destined mates. Tell me why we were destined to meet in the middle of this war? At every turn, we’d met resistance. And even though we’d fought against it every step of the way, this is how we had ended up.

     I’d failed him.

     And like Jean had said, I knew Levi was gone. There was no denying it anymore.

     Indescribable pain flowed through my veins like toxin. It morphed me into something lethal, and no one deserved this wrath more than the people behind this war. Even if the serum took away everything I was, it stood no chance at erasing the feelings I had for Levi. I believed they would remain intact, even when I lost control of myself. So, the time to stop fighting the serum had finally come, and I’d direct this agony at the people responsible for it.

     _Humans are our enemy. They’re the ones that did this to you._ Levi’s words came back to me and filled me with rage. I held onto them as everything else about me slipped away. _When they come for us, you need to kill them. You don’t stop until they’re all dead._

_I won’t stop, Levi._

_Not until Shiganshina falls._

My mind went blank as I gave in with tears staining my cheeks. Thoughts evaporated and became unimportant. My instincts clawed their way to the surface and heightened my senses—sight and smell and hearing becoming too sharp and precise. It felt like shifting into a state devoid of meaning. Consciousness fell away. Humanity slipped out of my grasp. All that remained was a keen sense of awareness to my environment.

     “Eren?”

     My eyes flicked in the direction the voice came from, and the man who had spoken reared back with his hands held up in submission. I inhaled, detecting the distinct musk of an alpha. Perceiving a threat, my hand shot out of its own accord, fingers curling around his throat. I lifted him off the ground, a snarl pulling my lips back from my teeth. The man attempted to pry my hands away from his neck, but I tightened my grip until he surrendered completely.

     “Eren,” he wheezed. “It’s...me. It’s Jean.”

     The name meant nothing to me. The smell of submission that came off him meant nothing either. All that mattered was that he was an alpha, which made him an enemy.

     “Le—” He gritted his teeth, unable to finish. He opened his mouth again and forced out, “Levi. Remember...Levi.”

     My grasp on him loosened and he fell to the ground in a heap, coughing as he heaved in a breath.

     Levi.

     Why did that name make me feel so lost? It wormed its way into my mind, and I could almost picture the face that went with it, but it hung just out of my reach.

     “Levi’s your mate,” the man said while he rubbed at his neck. “He’s the reason you’re out here. You were heading to Shiganshina to take it down. That’s what he wanted from you. You need to remember that at least. This is important.”  

     I shook my head and pressed the heels of my palm against my forehead, confused. I wanted to flee, seek shelter, and forget all about this alpha, but something kept me here. The emotion was foreign. I couldn’t understand why it meant so much to me. It shouldn’t have mattered at all, but it did. It was the only thing that mattered.   

     The alpha struggled to his feet. “Smell yourself. I know his scent is on you.”

     I obeyed his command without thought, bringing my wrist to my nose. A sweet, familiar scent invaded all my senses, and I whined under my breath as I recognized it. My mate. Levi.

     “That’s right,” the man said when I met his gaze with desperation. “Do you remember now? What Levi wanted you to do?”

     I growled and looked at the vehicles approaching us. “Kill them all.”

     “Yes, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do. You’re going to kill all of them. Then we’re going to Shiganshina to finish the job.”

     When the vehicles surrounded us, headlights trained at our faces, I bared my teeth. Men in army uniforms pushed open their doors and scrambled out with their guns raised and aimed at us.

     “What the fuck is that, sergeant?” one of them said, staring straight at me.

     “That’s the one we’re after, numb nuts. Keep your gun on him. I heard he’s dangerous, but he shouldn’t attack us. If the SS serum is doing its job, we should be able to get him back to base without a problem.”

     “What about the other one?”

     The sergeant regarded the alpha beside me with a knowing grin. “Mr. Kirstein, why am I not surprised to see you tagging along. Did you want one last go at us before the device in your spine goes off?”

     “Fuck you,” Jean spat out.

     “No matter. I’m sure your little friend would love to help us get rid of you.”

     Since they showed up, I’d been calculating how to take them out efficiently. There were four vehicles blocking us in, and twenty soldiers in total, each one armed with semi-automatic rifles. Most of the men were focused on me. Not that it would help them in the long run. They could open fire and I wouldn’t go down. By my count, it wouldn’t take longer than ten minutes to take them all out.

     “How about it?” the sergeant asked me. “Go ahead and put this parasite in his place.”

     The soldiers all eased back, waiting for a fight to break out. Did they think I was their puppet? Someone here to provide them with entertainment? I could tell from their eager expressions that they were looking forward to it. Well, I’d give them something to look at.

     As the sergeant went to speak again, I drove my open hand into his throat to silence him, listening to his neck snap. Before he could even drop, I fell on the other soldiers faster than they could react. I took one by the arm, and he screamed as his bone cracked like a tree branch in my hand. I swung him into another soldier and they both crumpled to the ground. Without wasting a second, I grabbed one of their rifles and threw it to Jean. He immediately fired two bullets into their heads.

     “Behind you,” he said.

     I whirled around and dragged my nails across the throat of the soldier charging at me. His skin split open, blood spurting out over the ruined flesh. The man’s eyes bulged in shock as he uselessly clutched at his neck with both hands. When he dropped to his knees, I pressed my foot to his forehead and shoved him back.

     I turned back around and heard the crack of a rifle. Jean yelled, both in rage and pain. He’d been shot in his right calf.

     “You mother fucker!” he hollered as he brought the butte of his rifle down on the soldier who had shot him. The man dropped, but Jean continued to smash the butte into his head again and again, until his skull cracked open.

     I growled deep in my throat, a command. Jean stopped what he was doing and responded to it with his own growl. I jerked my head in the direction of the abandoned vehicle. We were wasting time here. We needed to go.

     “Yeah, I get you,” Jean said, wincing when he straightened up. His calf was bleeding pretty badly. “I’ll heal once I get the bullet out. Just get inside the damn truck. I’ll drive.”

     The remaining soldiers had taken off. They’d probably already alerted their superiors at Shiganshina about what had happened here. I could have chased after them, but their lives meant nothing to me. I had more important things to do.

     Jean pulled open the driver’s side door of the biggest vehicle and climbed inside. The engine was still running, so he signaled to me to join him. Before I got inside, I slashed the tires of the other vehicles. If those other soldiers came back, they wouldn’t be able to follow us now.

     “Come on,” Jean called.

     The second I jumped into the passenger seat, he hit the gas. The huge tires kicked up dirt as they gained traction and it billowed around in a fine mist. As we took off toward Shiganshina, I looked back and felt like I’d left myself behind for good.

     _Levi._

 

\---

 

_ Levi _

 

Smoke filtered into the Jeep and roused me from unconsciousness. I dragged in a breath, met with a jabbing pain in my chest that felt like thousands of needles being plunged into my lungs. It took a while to recover, but even after the pain subsided some, my entire body felt too heavy to move. I knew I was trapped beneath the Jeep, and if there was smoke, that meant the engine had caught on fire. It was only a matter of time before the flames reached the gas tank. I needed to get out of here before that happened.

     Determined, I tried to turn onto my side and whimpered as my ribs grinded together. They had to be broken. Dammit! I wouldn’t get far like this.

     A groan interrupted my efforts. I turned my head and caught sight of Erd pulling himself out from under Auruo, who was unresponsive to the movement.

     “He’s out,” Erd said, confirming my thoughts.

     “What about you?” I asked, surprised by how brittle my voice sounded.

     “My arm might be broken. Other than that, nothing worse than cuts and bruises.” He scanned me over. “But you... You don’t look so good.”

     “Don’t mind me. Get Auruo out of here. I’ll find my way out.”

     Erd eyed me, and I could see he detected the lie. I was wedged between the steering wheel and the driver’s seat. With my injuries, I wouldn’t be able to free myself.

     “Go,” I told him.

     “But—”

     “That’s an order, Erd. Get out of here. Now.”

     He stared at me, torn between obeying a direct order and risking his life to save mine. In the end, he chose to obey. “I’ll come back for you,” he said, kicking the back door open with both feet. “Once I get Auruo far enough away, I’ll come back.”

     I nodded and watched him slip out of the Jeep. He leaned back in to grab onto Auruo’s hand. He pulled him out that way. It wasn’t fast and neat, it was slow and sloppy due to his broken arm. He wouldn’t make it back before the fire reached me.

     When they were out of sight, I braced both my hands against the steering wheel and pushed. It didn’t budge.

     “Fuck,” I said. “Come on. Come on!”

     I felt a twinge of concern run through the bond and everything came to a standstill. Could Eren feel me panicking? Would he come back if he thought something had happened to me? Of course he would. There was no doubt about that in my mind, but I couldn’t let him do that. He needed to get to Shiganshina. If he stopped now, all of this would’ve been for nothing. And I couldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain. 

     There wasn’t a way to break the bond between a mated pair – not unless one of them passed away – but there was a way to block it temporarily. Hanji’s vast knowledge of alphas and omegas would finally do me some good. I needed to injure my scent gland.

     I rummaged around for something sharp, but came up empty handed. All the weapons were in the back, out of reach.

     I ran my fingers over my scent gland and felt the indentation of Eren’s teeth. As I dug my nails deep into my skin, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry, Eren,” I whispered right before I jerked my fingers down in one quick motion, tearing through skin. The pain was excruciating, but I repeated the action to make sure I’d scraped my scent gland. Shaking, weak, I sighed in relief. It had worked. I couldn’t feel him anymore.

     At least now he wouldn’t have to go through the end with me. Already I could feel the heat of the flames.

     “Levi!” Erd came scrambling into the jeep, pushing himself between the destroyed front seats. He shoved at the steering wheel with his good arm. “They’re coming. The soldiers who did this, they’re coming this way.”

     “Erd,” I said, but he didn’t slow down. “Erd, look at me.”

     “I’m gonna get you out. We’re going to make it out of here. Both of us.”

     I reached out and put my hand on his arm, ignoring the pain in my chest. “I can’t walk in this condition. And you can’t carry me, even if you did manage to pry me out of here. If you stay, we’re both going to die.”

     He shook his head. “I can’t leave you here like this. I can’t. Don’t ask that of me.”

     “I know you want to save me, but this is my doing. I brought this upon myself. You don’t need to face the consequences with me. Please leave while you still can. For me.”

     His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as tears collected in his eyes. He saluted me one last time. “You were a great leader to me, Captain Levi. I will always remember you.”

     “Go,” I said.

     Erd dropped his gaze, then crawled out of the Jeep without looking back. Once he was gone, I leaned my head against the steering wheel and waited. More smoke spilled into the Jeep, filling my lungs with every breath I took. The heaviness of my lids had also become too overbearing. It would be over soon.

     My vision was swimming in and out of focus when I heard footsteps approaching. They were hard to hear over the crackling of the fire, but there seemed to be a lot. How many men had been in that one vehicle?

     “Shit, it’s going up!” a man yelled, sounding close.

     “There’s someone trapped inside. Which one of them was driving again?”

     “That crazy alpha’s mate. The short one.”

     The man whistled. “It just had to be him. We have orders to take this one back with us. Let’s hurry up and get him out of there before this baby blows.”

     Someone wrenched open the driver’s door. Then a man with a buzz cut poked his head inside. “Well, you’re in there nice and tight, aren’t you?”

     I bared my teeth at him, emitting a low growl, but he only grinned in response to my warning. He continued to ignore me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. When he yanked, I screamed in agony.          

     “Come on now,” he said through gritted teeth. “I don’t have time to be gentle with you.” He yanked on me again and the edges of my vision went black. With one final tug, he pulled me free and we both fell to the ground. I didn’t have enough presence of mind to pay attention to anything after that. I could feel myself drifting away. “He’s lost a lot of blood. Think he’ll make it?”

     “Who cares,” another said. “We just have to get his sorry ass back to base. If he dies on the way, they can’t say we didn’t try.”

     “Fine. Let’s load him up.”

     Their voices were fading into the background. I couldn’t keep myself awake any longer. Once again, darkness enclosed around me.

 

\---

 

_ Eren _

 

Jean gunned it down the dirt road that led to the front gates of Shiganshina. I checked the speedometer. He was going eighty miles per hour with no sign of slowing down. It didn’t bother me, but I wondered what he planned on doing.

     “They have a shit ton of guards posted at the gate,” he said when he noticed me eyeing him. “There’s only one way to get in, and that’s to bust right through it. We’ll get shot at, but this thing is bulletproof. It shouldn’t slow us down.”

     I pointed to the windshield.

     He drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel with a smirk on his face. “That’s bulletproof too. But once we make it inside, we’re going to have a lot of trouble on our hands. We’ll have to fight our way to the main building. I doubt it’ll be easy. Then again”—he scanned me from head to foot, eyes lingering on mine—“I don’t think anything can stop you. You’re the only one who stands a chance at taking this place down.”

     And I would take it down. No matter what it took.

     “We can’t worry about helping prisoners escape,” Jean continued. “Once the alarm goes off, someone will retaliate against the guards and break the others free. We need to leave that to them. You and me, we have to get to the control room as fast as we can. That’s where the person in charge will be. If we can take him out, everything else will fall on its own.”

     I wouldn’t leave anything to chance. I’d remain at Shiganshina until I was sure they couldn’t rebuild it and pick up where they left off. This war ended today. There was no room for mistakes.

     Jean pushed the pedal down as far as it would go, the engine roaring as we gained speed. “We’re close. Hopefully that gate is flimsier than it looks. Are you ready?”

     I nodded before I returned my attention to the road ahead. From here, I could make out the gate in the distance. It looked sturdy enough, but it wouldn’t hold at the speed we were going, and all I needed was to get inside. After that, I’d be an unstoppable force. I wouldn’t let anyone slow me down or get in my way.  

     As we drew nearer to the compound, I noticed a set of watchtowers littered with armed soldiers. They had their guns trained on our fast approaching vehicle. It was obvious they’d been informed we were coming, which meant they had called for reinforcement. Although I couldn’t be physically harmed, with enough soldiers, I could be detained. And by now they must have constructed something that could hold me, but I wouldn’t give them that chance. I’d get in and out of there.

     A sharp clink against the windshield snapped me back to reality.

     “Here we go,” Jean said. “That was the first shot. Soon they’ll be raining down on us.”

     We didn’t have to wait long. Sparks popped off the hood as bullets came flying down from every direction. The windshield splintered and cracked, but held against the onslaught. Just when I thought we were going to make it, one of our back tires was hit. The vehicle swerved to the right, but Jean jerked the wheel in the opposite direction and evened us out before he lost control.

     “I didn’t come all this way for nothing,” he said.

     We were almost there. A little farther...

     We plowed through the gate, the metal frame bursting forward. We skidded to a stop, and I threw open the door, jumping out into the open. Someone shot at me. The bullet ricocheted off my chest.  

     “Nifty trick,” the man who shot me said as he took aim at my head. I darted to the right, hearing the shot and feeling the bullet skim past my shoulder. I dashed forward and reached out to grab hold of the barrel. I jerked the rifle out of his hand, whipping it around, the butte connecting with the side of his head. He toppled over. When he looked up at me, I crushed his throat with my foot.

     Soldiers swarmed around me. Dozens of them, with more following behind. I gave them no time to fall into coordination. I tore through them, hands flashing out, nails sinking and slashing through skin. Blood sprayed out, hot on my skin and filling the air with the smell of rust. Man after man fell, but more came to replace them.

     “Eren!” Jean shot down several soldiers as he made his way over to me. “There are too many of them. We don’t have time to stay here and fight. This is just a diversion. If we don’t hurry, the men we’re after will get away.”

     I communicated with him through my scent, stunned when he responded to it with his own. He was in tune with his instincts. He’d also accepted me as his leader if he opened his mind to me this way.

     “Follow me,” he said, understanding what I’d wanted.

     I cleared a path for us, then fell into step with him as he took off toward a large dome building that stood apart from the rest. It was surrounded by soldiers, all standing ready to fight. With how many of them there were, they had to be protecting someone important, and they weren’t taking any chances. They started firing at us the moment we turned in their direction.

     Jean tossed the rifle he held to the ground. “They’re buying time. We need to get passed them, fast.”

     I ran ahead of him, purposely stepping into the line of fire, feeling bullets collide with my neck, shoulder, and chest. They bounced off me without causing any damage, but they could kill Jean on the spot, and without him, I wouldn’t know where to go. I couldn’t afford to lose him, not now.

     When I reached the first lining of men, I didn’t stop. I cut straight through them, satisfied when they scattered to evade me. Jean took advantage of this and confronted them one by one, edging his way closer to the front entrance to meet me in the middle. We combined our efforts, but by the time we reached the door, he was hobbling on his injured leg. Blood soaked through his pants. There was enough to convince me he wouldn’t make it much farther.

     “Get inside,” he said, yanking the door open. “Go up to the fourth floor. That’s where the control room is. I’ll hold them off for as long as I can.”

     I looked down at his leg. He wouldn’t make it with that injury.

     “Just go, Eren. I did my part. Now you need to go and do yours.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about me. I’d rather go down like this than let myself turn. Now get the fuck out of here. You’re wasting time.”

     I stepped inside the building without looking back at him. It would be pointless to argue. We didn’t have that kind of time, and if this was how he wanted to go out, then who was I to take that from him.

     Inside, I rushed down the hallway and forced open the door to the stairwell. I ran up the steps as fast as my feet would carry me. After four flights of stairs, I pushed my way through the door to the fourth floor and entered the control room. I expected soldiers to be guarding this area, but the room was empty except for one man who sat in a leather computer chair. He had pale blonde hair and piercing hazel eyes that observed me behind round glasses. He didn’t look frightened.

     When I stepped forward, ready to end this, he said, “You’re a lot stronger than I believed. The serum has changed you, but not to the extent I expected. I can’t control you at all.”

     I growled, baring my teeth.

     “But there is someone who can control you,” he went on, unperturbed. “Your mate is in critical condition. He’s hanging on by a thread. I doubt he’ll make it through the night.”

     My eyes widened, and I stopped mid-step. “Levi...”

     “Yes. Levi. He’s on his way here as we speak. If you surrender now, I’ll make sure he gets the medical attention he needs. I’ll even allow you to see him during his recovery. How does that sound?”

     I closed my eyes and searched through the bond, but there was nothing there to find. Levi was gone, and this man was baiting me with the only thing I wanted. He knew if he had Levi, he had me as well. But he had nothing.

     “Why?” I said, sounding more animal than human. “Tell me why you did this.”

     “Why did I initiate this war? Isn’t the answer obvious? Your kind is unnatural. I’m simply trying to restore the natural order of things.”

     In that moment, I remembered all the people I’d lost in this war—all the people I loved. I remembered Mikasa, and how she had sacrificed everything to keep her loved one safe. I remembered Jean, the man who was still out there fighting. Hanji, Erwin, Isabel, Petra, Erd, Farlan, Auruo...

     And Levi.

     We’d all lost so much.

     “No more,” I said. “It ends here.”

     I pounced on him without warning, knocking him back onto the floor. He tried to scramble out from underneath me, but I held him in place and forced him to look at me. I wanted my face to be the last thing he ever saw, the bloodthirsty monster he’d created. The stench of fear warped his scent as our eyes met, and I reveled in it. This man was nothing. I’d make him nothing.   

     I pressed both my hands to his chest and pushed down until I heard his ribcage cave in. He screamed, but I didn’t stop or slow down. I kept pushing, crushing him, making him feel the same pain Levi had. When his lungs burst, he coughed out blood, spraying my face with it.

     “You’re nothing,” I growled. “Nothing!”

     His arms shot up, hands patting and searching for something on the control panel. I thought he was uselessly looking for some type of weapon, but then he pushed down on a button. Red emergency lights flashed on from every corner of the room and an alarm began to sound. Over it came an automated voice.

     “Danger. The emergency destruct sequence is now activated. This sequence cannot be aborted. The building will detonate in T minus five minutes.”

     The man’s hand slipped off the button. He was dead. That had been his final attempt to stop me.

     I stood up and moved through the door, racing down the stairs, but I knew I wouldn’t make it out in time.

 

\---

 

_ Levi _

 

My head swam as I lay in the backseat of the army vehicle. I didn’t know how long I’d been out for.

     I turned onto my side. There was no one in here with me. Both front seats were empty, doors ajar as though they’d abandoned the vehicle in a hurry. What was happening?

     Pushing myself up into a sitting position, I glanced out the front windshield. What I saw shocked me. Shiganshina was up in flames. Hundreds of people were running away from the burning buildings. From the looks of their dirty clothes, they were all prisoners, scurrying into the woods without looking back.

     Eren had done it.

     As I struggled to keep myself upright, the pain in my ribs unbearable, I noticed someone familiar leading a group of people away from the wreckage.

     “Jean!” I shouted. He didn’t look in my direction. He was too far away.

     With what little strength I had, I pushed myself forward and slammed my hand down on the horn. Jean’s head turned, eyes going wide when he saw me behind the wheel. He said something to the people he was with, then ran over to the vehicle.

     The first thing he said to me was, “You’re alive!”

     “Just barely.”

     “Eren... He thought you were dead.”

     “Where is he?”

     Jean shook his head. “I don’t know. He was inside the building that exploded, but I’m not sure if he was still inside. I left when I heard the alarm go off. I wanted to get as many people out as I could.”

     I returned my gaze to Shiganshina. “He could still be in there.”

     “If he is, he’ll find his way back to you. Right now we have to get you to Hanji. I can hardly even pick up your scent.”

     “I have to go in there. I have to be sure.”

     He put his hands on my shoulders. “Levi, you can’t go in there. If you don’t get the medical attention you need, you won’t make it. We have to go back to the lab. Now.”

     My heart crashed in my chest. I didn’t want to leave without Eren. I wanted to see him so badly...

     “Tell me honestly,” I said, voice cracking, “do you think he made it out of there?”

     For a long while, Jean stayed quiet. Then he whispered, “No.”      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ╥﹏╥


	33. Chapter 33

_7 months later_

 

A thick layer of snow covered the ground as I lumbered out into the backyard with an ax in hand. The forecast called for a blizzard to hit this area tomorrow night. If I wanted to wait it out and not freeze in the process, I needed to gather enough firewood to last me through the week, which meant I had a busy morning ahead of me. That was fine. Keeping myself occupied was one of the only things that helped me feel sane these days. When I had too much time on my hands, thoughts of Eren crowded my mind until I broke down all over again. Seven months had passed since he’d invaded Shiganshina, and not once had I felt his presence in our bond. Not even a flicker of emotion from his end to let me know he was somewhere out there.

     Why couldn’t I feel him? My scent gland had healed months ago. Had he really died that day?

     I shoved the thought aside and forced myself to focus on the task at hand. Yesterday I’d stacked logs beside the stump I used as a chopping block. I picked one from the top, balanced it on the stump, and then swung the ax down on it with enough force to split it in two. That was one down, about forty something left to go.

     Once I set a pace, time slipped away. There was nothing but the log, the swing of the ax, and the strain in my arms and back as I chopped log after log. Filling my days with physical tasks like this is what had allowed me to keep on, although it hadn’t solved much else. I still couldn’t be around people. The others had moved to Stohess after the president declared it a safe zone for our kind, but I never joined them. I wanted to be alone, so a cottage out in the woods sounded more appealing to me. It was far away from any cities. Here, I could try to put myself back together without anyone telling me how to do it.

     I was almost through with chopping wood when the sound of an engine brought me to a pause. I looked up and spotted Hanji’s all too familiar red Jeep Cherokee creeping up the snowy path. Leave it to her to visit me a day before a blizzard hit.

     As she pulled up beside me, I leaned the handle of the ax against the stump and peeled off the work gloves I had on. I tossed them onto the stump and rubbed circles into my sore palms.

     “You shouldn’t be here,” I said as soon as she stepped out of the Jeep.

     “Stop being an ass nut. I brought you supplies! You’ll probably be stuck indoors for a week after this blizzard passes through. I wanted to make sure you had enough of everything.” She plodded to the back of the Jeep and threw open the backdoor. After she picked up a box she had stashed back there, she came stomping up to me. “Let’s go inside for a bit. I promise I won’t stay long. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your brooding.”

     I gestured for her to go ahead. “Fifteen minutes, then I’m sending you on your merry way.”

     “Aw, you really want me to get home before this storm comes. Inside that cold exterior is such a gentle heart.”

     “Be quiet and go inside. Make sure you take off your boots. I don’t want you to track in snow.”

     I picked up several logs before I trailed after her. Like I’d asked, she removed her boots and left them in the entryway. I did the same, then we both went into the kitchen, where she set the box down on the dining table.

     “It’ll only be a week,” I said. “You didn’t have to bring me anything.”

     Hanji ignored me in favor of opening the flaps of the box. She started to take stuff out, producing boxes of tea, oatmeal, bagels, cream cheese, canned soup, frozen orange juice, and various other things I lost interest in. Once everything was set out on the table, she said, “Voilà. Now you won’t go hungry when you’re snowed in. You’re welcome.”

     “I wouldn’t have gone hungry without all this.”

     “Would it kill you to say thank you?”

     I rolled my eyes. “Thank you. Happy now?”

     “Very,” she said with a smile.

     While she busied herself with putting everything away, I went into the living room and arranged the logs inside the wood stove. It was an excuse to put some distance between us. Although she had made this trip to drop some supplies off, there had to be another reason behind her visit. She worried about me more than the others did. I had no doubt she came with a hidden agenda, and listening to her try to convince me to move into the city was not something I was up for. I’d lost count of how many times I’d explained to her why I couldn’t go back to a normal life just yet.

     “Do you have enough blankets here?” Hanji asked as she came out to join me. “I brought some with me, just in case you don’t.”

     I sighed. “Hanji, I appreciate all of this, but you do realize I can take care of myself.”

     “I know you can. It’s just—I hate how you’re out here all by yourself when there is a group of people in Stohess who would love to have you around. Isabel is about to pop. Don’t you want to see the baby?”

     _Here we go._

“You know what I don’t appreciate?” I said without looking at her. “You trying to guilt trip me into coming back with you. It’s not going to work.”

     “I’m not guilt tripping you.”

     “Yes, you are.”

     She frowned. “You’ve been isolating yourself for seven months and—”

     “And I’m still not okay!” I interrupted, exasperated. “Don’t you realize that by now? I think about Eren every second of every day, and it hurts. God, it hurts so much. If you think I can move to the city and pretend everything is okay, you’re mistaken. He’s the only thing on my mind.”

     “No one is expecting you to pretend. We all know you’re hurting, but cutting yourself off from the world isn’t the answer. Let us help you.”

     “No one can help me.”

     “Levi, there’s still a chance he can come back.”

     I turned away from her, hating the tears that gave away my pain. “He’s dead. He’s never coming back.”

     “You don’t know that.”

     “Don’t I? When Jean brought me back to the lab, you took special care of my scent gland to make sure it healed properly. If he were alive, I would have felt him through our bond, but I haven’t. I haven’t felt a thing.”  

     Silence stretched out between us. I had nothing more to say. I just wanted her gone, so I could immerse myself in some meaningless work that would put a stop to my thoughts, because the truth is, even though I knew Eren was dead, I was still waiting for him. And I would continue to wait for him for the rest of my life. No one would ever be able to replace him.

     “Here,” Hanji said, stepping around me so we were face to face. She handed me a bottle of suppressants. “Your heat will be starting soon. I know you’ve been riding them out, but I thought you might like a break.”

     I gripped the bottle until my knuckles went white. “Thank you.”

     She put her hand over mine. “Whenever you’re ready to come to the city, we’ll be there waiting for you. You’re not alone, Levi. We’re all here for you. Me, Isabel, Farlan, Erd, Auruo, Mike, Armin—all of us.”

     “I know,” I whispered.

     She pulled me into a hug. “Come visit after the baby is born. Isabel really wants you to see him.”

     “She’s going to have a little boy?”

     “Yeah. Farlan’s ecstatic.”

     “I can imagine.”

     She leaned back. “I should get along. They’re going to start blocking off the roads soon.”

     I nodded, and then followed her to the entryway. While we slid on our boots, I asked, “How’s Armin?”

     After Jean had driven me back to the lab, he’d disappeared without a trace. Armin had searched for him relentlessly, making it his priority to find him, but he’d only managed to track him down last month with the help of Mike. Plagued by the Alpha serum, Jean hadn’t been easy to catch or approach. It took careful planning to lure him into a trap. Now he was being held in one of Hanji’s labs.

     “We’re working on an antiserum,” she said. “I think that’s the only thing holding him together. He’s put all his faith in me.”

     “He’s put his faith in the right person. If there’s anyone who can create an antiserum, it’s you.”

     She knocked her fist against my shoulder. “Trying to butter me up before I leave?”

     “I mean it.”

     “Come on, smooth talker. Walk me out.”

     I pulled open the front door and we were greeted by a flurry of snow. “Does anyone know you came here today?”

     “Maybe.”

     “Hanji,” I said sternly.

     “Oh, fine. I might have come here without telling anyone, but don’t worry your little head off. I’ll call Mike once I’m on the road.”

     “You better. With how you drive, it wouldn’t surprise me if you end up in a ditch. Who did you bribe to get your driver’s license unsuspended?”

     She jabbed my arm with her finger. “None of your business. By the way, you could afford to have more faith in my driving abilities.”

     We walked to her Jeep in silence. I probably wouldn’t see her for another month. I waited to feel guilty about that, but nothing but relief flooded through me. With her gone, I’d go back to drowning myself in physical labor that helped quell the urges to cry. To scream. To wrap my hand around the side of my neck and beg Eren to come back, even when he couldn’t hear my commands. If she only knew how I spent my days working myself into a state of exhaustion, she would strap me down and force me to go with her. That’s exactly why I needed her to leave.

     “Don’t be a stranger,” Hanji said as she pulled open the driver’s side door. “I mean it, Levi.”

     “I’ll try not to be.”

     “And I’ll act like you mean that.”

     I waited until she settled in the seat to say, “Drive safely.”

     “You know I won’t. Toodaloo.” She shut the door behind her before I could add anything more, then turned the key in the ignition while she waggled her fingers at me. The engine roared to life. As I watched her drive away, the guilt I expected earlier finally made an appearance. She’d come all this way just to have me turn down her offer again.

     How long would it take me to pull myself together? I couldn’t keep this up for much longer. Sooner or later I’d have to face reality and accept that Eren wasn’t coming back. And he wouldn’t want me to be out here all by myself. He’d want me to move on.

     I ran my fingertips over my scent gland and closed my eyes, deciding this would be the last time I’d speak to him.

     _Eren, if you can hear me, stop what you’re doing and come find me. It doesn’t matter what you’ve become, or how much you’ve changed since we’ve been apart, just come back to me. That’s my only request._

\---

 

The storm hit earlier than expected, sometime before dawn as I settled down for the night. The wind picked up and sent the shutters flying into the side of the cottage. That, coupled with how cold it was in my room, I knew I’d be getting next to no sleep. Nights like these were the worst. There were no distractions to keep my thoughts at bay. There was just me lying on this empty bed with hours to kill before sunrise. I decided not to torture myself with things that were out of my control and got up in search of something to help pass the time.

     I moved about the cottage with ease despite the dark. Spending the last seven months cooped up in this place helped me become familiar with the layout. I knew where everything was, so finding my way around came easy. Once I’d made it to the living room, I set my blanket down on the arm of the couch and padded to the wood stove. I started piling in logs. I’d get a good fire going, then curl up on the couch with a book. Maybe reading would help me drift off.

     While I fussed over the fire, something thumped against the front door. Something big. I crouched down in one fluid movement, instincts urging me to make myself appear smaller, and stayed still, listening. I couldn’t hear anything above the howling of the wind, but my body shook as it sensed a threatening presence. No animal would cause this type of reaction. It had to be an alpha, lured to the cottage by my scent that grew stronger the closer I got to my heat.

     Keeping close to the floor and evening out my breaths, I crawled out of the room. There was a loaded shotgun in my bedroom closet. If I could make it there, then I’d have a fighting chance.

     I’d barely crept into the hallway when the thud came again, this time louder and more forceful. I stopped and pressed my back against the wall, waiting. If it was an alpha, why were they lingering outside? The front door was flimsy. It could easily be kicked in. Were they making sure it was just me in here? Well, I’d make them regret giving me enough time to get this far.

     I darted into my room, light on my feet, and yanked open the closet door the second it was within reach. I snatched up the shotgun where it leaned against the wall and cocked the hammer, whipping around to discover I was still alone. Lifting the shotgun to eye level, I slunk back out in the hallway and inched my way closer to the entryway. If the alpha wouldn’t come in here, then I’d go out there. There was no way I’d give them the chance to catch me off guard.

     When I reached the front door, I took a deep breath before I grabbed onto the handle and pushed it open. I stepped out onto the porch. “Come out!” I shouted into the darkness. My voice trembled with the cold. “I know you’re out here! Show yourself!”

     Nothing. Not even a hint of movement. The strange thing was I couldn’t pick up a scent to help me locate whoever was out here. Shit. I needed to approach this situation differently.

     Staying alert, I let out a needy whine. The sound came out forced and unnatural, but an alpha wouldn’t care. They’d be drawn in regardless, and that’s what I was counting on. The instant they showed their face, I’d be ready for them.

     “Come on,” I said under my breath. I almost didn’t see the lone figure emerging from the darkness. Then he – it was definitely a male, although I couldn’t see his face – raised his hands up, and the movement caught my attention. I aimed the barrel of the shotgun at him. “Stop. Don’t come any closer.” The alpha stopped, obedient. “Go back where you came from.”

     He took a step closer. I turned, shot off a round into the woods, and returned to pointing at him.

     “Turn around, or I’ll shoot. Don’t test me,” I snapped. The odor of burnt gunpowder filled the air, but there was something else beyond that, too faint to smell it well.

     “I can’t do that,” he said.

     That voice...

     My entire world broke apart, and I was moving without being aware of it, stepping into the snow and dropping the shotgun. Tears welled up in my eyes as I reached out blindly, because I knew that voice. I’d recognize it anywhere—in death, at the end of the world. Anywhere.

     “Eren,” I whispered.

     When he took me into his arms, gently, as though I would break if he didn’t handle me with care, I felt the weight of our time spent apart crash down on my shoulders. I could feel it in my chest, in the soles of my feet, in the pads of my fingertips. Every part of me strained under the heaviness, then he said, “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you, but I’m here to stay now,” and slowly the weight began to lift. I wanted to hold onto him until I was sure he was here. Until I knew, without a doubt, that he wouldn’t disappear again.

     “I asked you to come back so many times,” I said, my voice cracking at the end. “Hundreds—maybe thousands of times. I never got a response. Where were you? Why can’t I feel you through our bond?”

     Eren picked me up, holding me close to his chest. “I’ll answer all your questions, but we should go inside. It’s coming down hard out here.”

     I nodded in agreement, and he carried me through the snow and into the cottage. Being this close to him again almost seemed like a dream. I’d spent countless nights aching for him, remembering how it felt to be touched by him, but memories could never compare to reality. Having him here now meant everything.

     As he sat me down in front of the fire, I finally got a good look at him. He’d changed these past seven months. His hair was much longer now, nearly to his shoulders. And his eyes – oh, his eyes – the right one had returned to its normal color, the beautiful green that I’d fallen in love with. The left one remained black, but that didn’t matter to me now. What mattered was that he was here. He’d found a way to overcome the effects of the serum.

     I cupped the side of his face and he turned his head to kiss my palm. “All this time, I’ve been waiting for you.”

     “I know,” he said. “I would have come sooner, but...it was hard to get a handle on myself. I couldn’t shift out of my royal form, and staying like that made everything worse. For a while, I really thought I’d lose myself to my instincts, but the thought of you kept bringing me back. Holding onto our bond is what helped me shift back for the first time since I was injected with the Alpha serum.”

     “So, you’re okay now?”

     He turned his head to the side. When he spoke again, his voice was low and full of pain. “I’m still unstable. I shift at random and get stuck in my royal form for weeks. I can’t promise that I won’t act instinctive during those periods. That’s why I didn’t come back to you yet. I know this isn’t what you want, but earlier, when you asked me to come find you, I could feel how much you needed me here. And I”—he looked at me with eyes full of longing and desperation—“I need you, too. So much. But I’ll understand if you don’t want me like this. You deserve better.”

     “Eren?”

     “Yes?”

     “Whatever you’re doing to block my connection with you, stop.”

     He opened his mouth as if to protest, but then shut his eyes and pressed his fingers to his scent gland, over the mark I’d given him. In an instant, his emotions came flooding through our bond and into me. I could feel his uncertainty; his fear that he would somehow lose control of himself. But I needed him to know that none of that changed how I felt about him, so I sent him back the joy I’d felt when I had recognized his voice outside. I flooded our bond with my unwavering love, no matter the circumstances.  

     “Levi...”

     “I love you,” I whispered. “And that will never change.”

     He kissed me, and his tears wet my cheeks. “I love you, Levi. I love you more than you’ll ever know, but I will spend the rest of my life showing you.”

     I smiled a wobbly smile, overcome with happiness. Here we were, finally together again after all our struggles. But I’d endure it all again if it meant having this.

     “I’m holding you to that,” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my fifth time finishing an ereri fic, and it doesn't get any less emotional. These boys - these beautiful boys - how I love them. It is never easy finishing a story, especially after spending an entire year working on it, but I'm happy. 
> 
> Thank you so so much to everyone who followed me on this journey. I love you all. <3

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://dressed-in-darkness.tumblr.com/)   
> 


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